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    Default Personal Woes and Advice 4

    It makes a difference to be able to turn to others on this forum for advice, compassion, and support when things are difficult. This is a unique community where friendship, kindness, and acceptance are the rule. Hurtful behavior is rare. When it does occur it is never tolerated, and the staff seek to prevent it from recurring, whether it was caused by a lapse in judgement or intentional cruelty.

    It is therefore with great pleasure that I share with you the new rules that will allow friends on this forum to continue to help each other out and to maintain the bonds that grow when friends share their troubles.

    I would like to emphasize that these rules are not mine, although I agree with them. The rules were the effort of the entire Giant in the Playground staff, who recognize the need for friends to share their troubles. It was hard work, and they deserve our thanks.

    Part of the definition of friendship is the sharing of troubles. That is the goal of this thread: to share our problems in a way that strengthens our community. The new rules are devised to make this possible.

    Please carefully read what follows:

    THE RULES FOR THE PERSONAL WOES AND ADVICE THREAD

    The Personal Woes and Advice thread is a place to discuss our daily troubles and seek advice on minor personal matters that get us down. For serious depression or mental health issues, please seek help from a professional.

    Like many other threads here on GitP, we've got a number of rules to help set the tone and head off issues likely to arise in this kind of thread. Please read them carefully and follow them.

    1. Of course, follow the Forum Rules. If you haven't read them recently (or ever - *gasp*), you should do so now. And giving them another read before you post something particularly emotionally charged or contentious might also be a good idea.

    2. This thread is not for the treatment of or the discussion of the treatment of serious depression or mental health issues. Someone posting about those issues or seeking what would seem to call for licensed professional mental health advice should be referred to seek such advice. When in doubt, limit your response to friendly support and a suggestion to seek real world professional help. Think before you offer advice about how to be friendly, supportive, and not offer advice better left to a licensed professional in a professional setting.

    3. Feel free to post here to share your feelings, vent, and request advice. It's perfectly fine if you just want to share or commiserate. If you want advice, ask; if you specifically don't want advice, just say so. If you want to be contacted via PM, say so; if not, say that.

    4. Romantic issues are probably better discussed in the Relationship Woes and Advice thread.

    5. No problem is too small or insignificant. If it's bothering you, feel free to share. People should refrain from weighing or comparing their problems to other people's problems. Minimizing someone's problems or comparing your problems to theirs isn't helpful or friendly. Please don't do that.

    6. This is advice that you are getting from friends over the internet. Take it with a grain of salt. This advice is not professional, nor is it always the best.

    7. If you feel you are not receiving the help you need, or deem yourself a danger to yourself and/or others, seek professional help immediately!

    8. Prescribing medication is something that requires multiple licenses. Please don't do that here or expect others to do that here. If you are on medication and find them not working or not working properly, call your doctor immediately.

    9. Please, never suggest to someone that they harm themselves or others.

    10. Remember, it is not your job to "fix" anyone here and it is not a requirement for posting here that a person wants to be, or wants their problem to be, "fixed."

    And finally: Please remember your safety before posting any personal information or before giving or accepting any support. The following site provides some useful internet safety guidance for adults.

    (Original quote by MonkeyBusiness)

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    *peeks in*

    Welp, I'll be the first, then.


    I told my course class that I'm bipolar and I feel ok. A bit intimidated because it's a really personal thing, but as my degree course is basically all group work, I had to let them know.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Well, the moment I actually need my counseling and medication to help prevent a meltdown, it fails miserably. Should've known it was all a complete waste of time and money. I'm so stupid and gullible, I keep getting tricked into thinking therapy can help me. It's simply not possible. No matter what, my life is simply intolerable and I'm doomed to be alone, alienated and unwanted until the day I die. That day can't come soon enough, and if it won't come for me, I'll have to make it happen myself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skeppio View Post
    Well, the moment I actually need my counseling and medication to help prevent a meltdown, it fails miserably. Should've known it was all a complete waste of time and money. I'm so stupid and gullible, I keep getting tricked into thinking therapy can help me. It's simply not possible. No matter what, my life is simply intolerable and I'm doomed to be alone, alienated and unwanted until the day I die. That day can't come soon enough, and if it won't come for me, I'll have to make it happen myself.
    ...may I ask what happened?
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    I feel like I'm not functioning as a person.
    I have a LOT of Homebrew!

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose View Post
    ...may I ask what happened?
    Reality happened. I'm always doomed to be alienated from everyone.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by FinnLassie View Post
    *peeks in*

    Welp, I'll be the first, then.


    I told my course class that I'm bipolar and I feel ok. A bit intimidated because it's a really personal thing, but as my degree course is basically all group work, I had to let them know.
    There always needs to be someone who speaks first in here, so there should be no worries about that, I hope.

    Anyway it's good that you were able to let others know and be able to handle it. Thumbs up for that. I hope that your class treats this information about you with the respect and importance it deserves, and I wish you well with your class overall.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skeppio View Post
    Well, the moment I actually need my counseling and medication to help prevent a meltdown, it fails miserably. Should've known it was all a complete waste of time and money. I'm so stupid and gullible, I keep getting tricked into thinking therapy can help me. It's simply not possible. No matter what, my life is simply intolerable and I'm doomed to be alone, alienated and unwanted until the day I die. That day can't come soon enough, and if it won't come for me, I'll have to make it happen myself.
    Skepps, it's never a waste. It's never wasteful to try to look after your own well being, whether it works or not. It's not a trick, it is factual that people have been helped in the world by medication and therapy, and there's nothing foolish about hoping for it for yourself too. I hope that you don't give up on it because of another bad situation, especially when you know yourself in this mindset and know how bad and wrong it is for you. Like Dire Moose, I ask for more details beyond just reality so maybe I can know what more to say, but it is up to you what you want to talk about.

    Quote Originally Posted by JNAProductions View Post
    I feel like I'm not functioning as a person.
    That's worrying and a little vague...what do you mean by 'functioning'?
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Haluesen View Post
    That's worrying and a little vague...what do you mean by 'functioning'?
    I'm not in danger of suicide or anything.

    It's just... I had a talk with my parents, about college and life in general, and I was reduced to tears in minutes. And it's nothing wrong with my parents-they're great people. I just can't handle thinking about the future.
    I have a LOT of Homebrew!

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by JNAProductions View Post
    I'm not in danger of suicide or anything.

    It's just... I had a talk with my parents, about college and life in general, and I was reduced to tears in minutes. And it's nothing wrong with my parents-they're great people. I just can't handle thinking about the future.
    Nah that wasn't what I was worried for. Just that is sounded like something quite sad, and from what you said here it sounds like you were very upset.

    I can sympathize a bit. I try to avoid concerns for the future as much as I can, beyond just a week or two. It's tough and scary. If I can offer advice, I feel better as far as life goes when just doing something I really like, no matter what reasons for. If you can find something you love doing that can lead to something for the future, then that's really good.

    Of course I'm no pro at life, it's just what I've experienced and hope maybe sharing it can help someone else out. And it's good that you have great parents, that's always a help in any situation.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amidus Drexel View Post
    Yeah... even if it's a fairly friendly place by the internet's standards... it's still the internet. A certain level of pedantic bickering is to be expected.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    The forums can't universally agree that the sun will rise in the east. Disagreement is what we do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jacior
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    That's the thing. They try to help, but it typically ends with me running away in tears. I just feel like my depression is crippling and it's never going to go away.

    I honestly don't know if I should be in the hospital for it, only I've gone a few times already and it never helped.
    I have a LOT of Homebrew!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skeppio View Post
    Well, the moment I actually need my counseling and medication to help prevent a meltdown, it fails miserably. Should've known it was all a complete waste of time and money. I'm so stupid and gullible, I keep getting tricked into thinking therapy can help me. It's simply not possible. No matter what, my life is simply intolerable and I'm doomed to be alone, alienated and unwanted until the day I die. That day can't come soon enough, and if it won't come for me, I'll have to make it happen myself.
    If you have a problem, go fix it. Your therapist isn't there to live your life, you are.

    Whining about feeling lonely won't help your life be what you want it to be. Unless you want your life to just be moping about loneliness.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by JNAProductions View Post
    That's the thing. They try to help, but it typically ends with me running away in tears. I just feel like my depression is crippling and it's never going to go away.

    I honestly don't know if I should be in the hospital for it, only I've gone a few times already and it never helped.
    As far as things with depression go, I don't really have any advice that I would feel comfortable with giving. Again I'm no professional. For that you're just gonna have to talk to someone trained, or if you already are then rely on them to help. But for anything to work you gotta be able to be calm. So take a day or two to just not think about it and go do some other stuff. Relax a little while before worrying again, hopefully it can work.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amidus Drexel View Post
    Yeah... even if it's a fairly friendly place by the internet's standards... it's still the internet. A certain level of pedantic bickering is to be expected.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    The forums can't universally agree that the sun will rise in the east. Disagreement is what we do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jacior
    If I can get a pet dinosaur, I totally will. My low wisdom means a raptor looks like a great guard dog.


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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Haluesen View Post
    Skepps, it's never a waste. It's never wasteful to try to look after your own well being, whether it works or not. It's not a trick, it is factual that people have been helped in the world by medication and therapy, and there's nothing foolish about hoping for it for yourself too. I hope that you don't give up on it because of another bad situation, especially when you know yourself in this mindset and know how bad and wrong it is for you. Like Dire Moose, I ask for more details beyond just reality so maybe I can know what more to say, but it is up to you what you want to talk about.
    It's wasteful if it doesn't help at all. Maybe it works for others, but it won't work for me. Nothing ever works, it's my fate to alienate everyone and die alone and miserable. Every time I dare to hope, something will always come along to shatter my delusion and remind me that there is no hope for me. There is no point in trying, giving up is simply the logical choice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pluto! View Post
    If you have a problem, go fix it. Your therapist isn't there to live your life, you are.

    Whining about feeling lonely won't help your life be what you want it to be. Unless you want your life to just be moping about loneliness.
    Oh gee, I never thought of that! I'll just wave my fixing wand and it'll be solved! Thank you so much! :D

    It's not as simple as you make it out to be. You can't just "fix" some things. It's not very wise to speak on issues you clearly have no clue about.
    Last edited by Skeppio; 2015-09-06 at 02:07 AM.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Pluto! View Post
    If you have a problem, go fix it. Your therapist isn't there to live your life, you are.

    Whining about feeling lonely won't help your life be what you want it to be. Unless you want your life to just be moping about loneliness.
    I fear, Pluto!, that you are forgetting to demarcate between the true and the useful. While your words may be true, they are of little use to the sufferer. It is true, for instance, that to avoid drowning one must not let water into one's lungs. Telling that to those drowning will not assist them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skeppio View Post
    It's wasteful if it doesn't help at all. Maybe it works for others, but it won't work for me. Nothing ever works, it's my fate to alienate everyone and die alone and miserable. Every time I dare to hope, something will always come along to shatter my delusion and remind me that there is no hope for me. There is no point in trying, giving up is simply the logical choice.
    I have to disagree. Even attempting it makes it have value. It shows that you care about your personal well-being enough to try again, and that's important. I'm sorry your therapist hasn't been helpful enough, I know that, but since I don't know how any of that works I will not comment on it. I wish I did know more, to help or at the very least to understand.

    But there's no such thing as no hope. You've had times of happiness, or of calm, I've seen that much. You can't deny that those times exist, and can exist again Skeppio. Giving up is never a logical choice, in any situation. And as you could tell from the last thread, when you felt this way, that it is even less logical to consider. It may not make a lot of sense but it is the truth.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amidus Drexel View Post
    Yeah... even if it's a fairly friendly place by the internet's standards... it's still the internet. A certain level of pedantic bickering is to be expected.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    The forums can't universally agree that the sun will rise in the east. Disagreement is what we do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jacior
    If I can get a pet dinosaur, I totally will. My low wisdom means a raptor looks like a great guard dog.


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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Haluesen View Post
    I have to disagree. Even attempting it makes it have value. It shows that you care about your personal well-being enough to try again, and that's important. I'm sorry your therapist hasn't been helpful enough, I know that, but since I don't know how any of that works I will not comment on it. I wish I did know more, to help or at the very least to understand.

    But there's no such thing as no hope. You've had times of happiness, or of calm, I've seen that much. You can't deny that those times exist, and can exist again Skeppio. Giving up is never a logical choice, in any situation. And as you could tell from the last thread, when you felt this way, that it is even less logical to consider. It may not make a lot of sense but it is the truth.
    No, getting results gives it value. Anything less is just a worthless waste of time and money.

    There is always such a thing as no hope. Those times of calm and happiness were nothing but false hope. And people ignore them and pretend they never happened, so there's no point in trying to have them again. The only choice is to give up. If I try to recover, people will not acknowledge it, they'll treat me like I'm still miserable and angry. There's no chance that anyone will change.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skeppio View Post
    No, getting results gives it value. Anything less is just a worthless waste of time and money.

    There is always such a thing as no hope. Those times of calm and happiness were nothing but false hope. And people ignore them and pretend they never happened, so there's no point in trying to have them again. The only choice is to give up. If I try to recover, people will not acknowledge it, they'll treat me like I'm still miserable and angry. There's no chance that anyone will change.
    Again I disagree, but I won't force the issue here.

    I feel like maybe I phrased what I said before wrong. There can be no hope, but only if you choose for it to be that way. You really don't have to. You can push and fight anyway. Well, I suppose usually. I don't fully know depression, so it could make it harder to fight such things. I guess that's the point. Just saying letting go of hope is the only way I feel that there is really no hope. Even then it can be picked up again. And what exactly do you mean by people? Certainly not me, certainly not a LOT of the people who come to this thread, who came last time, and tried to talk to you. Sure it's only some people, but it's still some people that care if you try to recover, who will notice if you do better. If other people don't, will never pay attention to any improvement that you make, then that is on them not you. And it doesn't even necessarily make them bad, just wrong or flawed.

    I've told you what I think, as best as I can phrase it. Which is really amazing lately, seems I'm losing my grip on the English language. I just hope you'll consider it, and those past times. And I hope and wish that things improve for you soon, since I can't do anything other than talk to actively make them better. Gonna stay up for a bit more but if I don't respond again quickly it's because I'm asleep, and I'm sorry I have to. So yeah, again hope something gets better that doesn't result in anyone losing their life. *sends over all the hugs*
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amidus Drexel View Post
    Yeah... even if it's a fairly friendly place by the internet's standards... it's still the internet. A certain level of pedantic bickering is to be expected.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay R View Post
    The forums can't universally agree that the sun will rise in the east. Disagreement is what we do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jacior
    If I can get a pet dinosaur, I totally will. My low wisdom means a raptor looks like a great guard dog.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Haluesen View Post
    Again I disagree, but I won't force the issue here.

    I feel like maybe I phrased what I said before wrong. There can be no hope, but only if you choose for it to be that way. You really don't have to. You can push and fight anyway. Well, I suppose usually. I don't fully know depression, so it could make it harder to fight such things. I guess that's the point. Just saying letting go of hope is the only way I feel that there is really no hope. Even then it can be picked up again. And what exactly do you mean by people? Certainly not me, certainly not a LOT of the people who come to this thread, who came last time, and tried to talk to you. Sure it's only some people, but it's still some people that care if you try to recover, who will notice if you do better. If other people don't, will never pay attention to any improvement that you make, then that is on them not you. And it doesn't even necessarily make them bad, just wrong or flawed.

    I've told you what I think, as best as I can phrase it. Which is really amazing lately, seems I'm losing my grip on the English language. I just hope you'll consider it, and those past times. And I hope and wish that things improve for you soon, since I can't do anything other than talk to actively make them better. Gonna stay up for a bit more but if I don't respond again quickly it's because I'm asleep, and I'm sorry I have to. So yeah, again hope something gets better that doesn't result in anyone losing their life. *sends over all the hugs*
    Hope is meaningless without results. Anything less is a waste of time. It's not my choice. No matter how much I try to escape it, hopelessness will hunt me down.
    I mean people outside here, and a lot of people inside the forum too. And it isn't just on them, it affects me too, because they think less of me and I become more isolated and alone and miserable. No-one notices when I'm happier, and they forget I was ever happy the moment I'm sad again.

    There is no way things can improve. Any moment of joy is just a lure into a pit of misery. The only thing that can help me escape, is if I died, taking me out of the game entirely.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skeppio View Post
    It's not very wise to speak on issues you clearly have no clue about.
    Look, I don't know the circumstances because you aren't saying anything about the circumstances, but I'm sure there's nothing that's less of a solution that making suicide threats to an anonymous pity thread on the internet.

    Get some exercise. Learn something. Do your job. Or, if you don't have a job, get one.

    If you don't have close friends, you don't have close friends. That's all there is to it. They're more of a luxury than the teevee might lead you to believe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pluto! View Post
    Look, I don't know the circumstances because you aren't saying anything about the circumstances, but I'm sure there's nothing that's less of a solution that making suicide threats to an anonymous pity thread on the internet.

    Get some exercise. Learn something. Do your job. Or, if you don't have a job, get one.

    If you don't have close friends, you don't have close friends. That's all there is to it. They're more of a luxury than the teevee might lead you to believe.
    This not some mere "anonymous pity thread". The fact that you'd say that at all tells me you have no idea what you're talking about.

    If I don't have any friends, then I don't have much reason to live. I've tried everything I can to find friends in my area, but there's nothing at all on that front. At my age, everyone's already got their groups of friends, and they don't want newcomers. Isolation and loneliness is the worst possible hell for me, a living hell I go through every day.

    No-one I know is willing to speak to me anymore. The pain of being isolated is too much to bear. Even suicide hotline workers stopped talking to me. I'm so alone and lost.
    Last edited by Skeppio; 2015-09-07 at 08:29 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skeppio View Post
    This not some mere "anonymous pity thread". The fact that you'd say that at all tells me you have no idea what you're talking about.

    If I don't have any friends, then I don't have much reason to live. I've tried everything I can to find friends in my area, but there's nothing at all on that front. At my age, everyone's already got their groups of friends, and they don't want newcomers. Isolation and loneliness is the worst possible hell for me, a living hell I go through every day.

    No-one I know is willing to speak to me anymore. The pain of being isolated is too much to bear. Even suicide hotline workers stopped talking to me. I'm so alone and lost.
    You've been complaining for a long time that you were having a hard time finding a mate, that it was a big deal to you... (and you're looking; you're currently on dating sites.)

    May I ask what you're looking for? I've been wanting to suggest something, but it's... well, it involves some thinking outside the box.
    Offer good while supplies last. Two to a customer. Each item sold separately. Batteries not included. Mileage may vary. All sales are final. Allow six weeks for delivery. Some items not available. Some assembly required. Some restrictions may apply. All entries become our property. Employees not eligible. Entry fees not refundable. Local restrictions apply. Void where prohibited. Except in Indiana.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Pluto! View Post
    Look, I don't know the circumstances because you aren't saying anything about the circumstances, but I'm sure there's nothing that's less of a solution that making suicide threats to an anonymous pity thread on the internet.

    Get some exercise. Learn something. Do your job. Or, if you don't have a job, get one.

    If you don't have close friends, you don't have close friends. That's all there is to it. They're more of a luxury than the teevee might lead you to believe.
    Pluto, you specifically went out of your way to read this thread. If you have nothing supportive to add, ignore the thread and get on with your life. Depression is more difficult than 'get some exercise', as anyone who has suffered or been close to a sufferer knows. Your comments are actively damaging to real person.




    When you're at your lowest it is harder to find people to spend time with, and completely mentally healthy people can have difficulty making new friends. When you can overcome anxiety about it, try to join some kind of club. It's probably advice you've heard a million times, but there are people out there you will really mesh with - finding them is the trick! Even just going for a walk and meeting someone for some small talk about the weather can be rewarding.
    Here is my DIY D&D blog, where I post my thoughts and homebrew ideas, mainly for 5e. Currently I'm working on Sea Wolves, an Age of Sail setting undergoing systems collapse.


    Here is where I posted my Let's Read of the 5e Monster Manual and here are my current Monster Reviews.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by lio45 View Post
    You've been complaining for a long time that you were having a hard time finding a mate, that it was a big deal to you... (and you're looking; you're currently on dating sites.)

    May I ask what you're looking for? I've been wanting to suggest something, but it's... well, it involves some thinking outside the box.
    Outside the box? Go on.... o.o

    Anyway, an update on me:
    After losing my mind at my friends last night, I spoke to a counselor from Beyond Blue. After our discussion, they contacted the police, who came to my door to speak with me. They ended up deciding it would be best to take me to the hospital, where I waited for a few hours (hence why I've been so tired today) until a psychologist arrived to speak with me. Fortunately, they felt I would be okay to go home again, so I didn't have to stay for longer which is nice.
    My counselor's been given a report of what happened, so I'll discuss that with them at my next appointment. My dosage of anti-depressants has also been increased from one pill to two pills a day.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    well.. i don't know what Beyond Blue is, but I can guess.. all I can say is that it's a good thing you did make that call (or that they called you?).. and that you are not in fact giving up.
    I can't say I know anything about how to manage antidepressants and suchlike, but what I take from your post is that you are being cared for and that you are allowing yourself to be cared for.. and that has to mean something positive, however little.
    hopefully therapy, drugs, life and positive things (or whatever else is required) will reduce the frequency and gravity of these episodes to a manageable level.
    as long as you stick to getting the help you need, you'll find a way to work through it, eventually.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    I scare people when I walk into rooms. I have no idea why. It makes me feel like garbage to be greeted by screams.
    Quote Originally Posted by No brains View Post
    But as we've agreed, sometimes the real power was the friends we made along the way, including the DM. I wish I could go on more articulate rants about how I'm grateful for DMs putting in the effort on a hard job even when it isn't perfect.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    I don't know how to put it into words properly, but I feel broken. Just feel worthless and useless and a waste of space/time.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by No brains View Post
    I scare people when I walk into rooms. I have no idea why. It makes me feel like garbage to be greeted by screams.
    Would it be helpful to you if you gave a few more details? To me, this seems like somewhat of a perception thing on your part, as I have never witnessed something like this happening to anyone.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparx MacGyver View Post
    I don't know how to put it into words properly, but I feel broken. Just feel worthless and useless and a waste of space/time.
    Space is empty and meaningless with nothing to occupy it. Time ticks by whether you're there not not. You can waste neither, even if it feels like you're not seeing the point at times. But there very much is, and you'll get there again.
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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by aspi View Post
    Would it be helpful to you if you gave a few more details? To me, this seems like somewhat of a perception thing on your part, as I have never witnessed something like this happening to anyone.


    Space is empty and meaningless with nothing to occupy it. Time ticks by whether you're there not not. You can waste neither, even if it feels like you're not seeing the point at times. But there very much is, and you'll get there again.
    I'm not really sure how I can describe it. Maybe I just walk more quietly than other people and just live with some jumpy ones, but any time someone has their back turned and I greet them, they act like a hornet landed on their nose. It's not even like I get into their personal space or are very loud, either. I can be three meters away and speak at regular speaking volume and they just jump. I have no idea what's going on with this.

    As for how it affects me, I just don't like hurting or scaring people, especially in my own house. I like to think I'm a likable or at least tolerable person who isn't seen as a threat, but when people cringe at a casual "hi", it makes me wonder if I'm not really accepted. It's not a tale for today, but I've had experiences where people grew tired of me and just threw me out of their lives.

    Thanks for asking about it.

    @ Sparx: If it's any consolation, I feel that way sometimes too. Putting why I feel that way to words can be hard. Also, you're not any wast of anyone's time or space here. A gaming forum isn't really a do-or-die place and just having more people makes us merrier. If we can't directly address the cause of your feelings, we can try to take your mind off of them.
    Quote Originally Posted by No brains View Post
    But as we've agreed, sometimes the real power was the friends we made along the way, including the DM. I wish I could go on more articulate rants about how I'm grateful for DMs putting in the effort on a hard job even when it isn't perfect.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by aspi View Post
    Space is empty and meaningless with nothing to occupy it. Time ticks by whether you're there not not. You can waste neither, even if it feels like you're not seeing the point at times. But there very much is, and you'll get there again.
    Perhaps. but I often still feel I am just a waste, not just of my own space/time, but of others as well and so I tend to isolate myself and not want to bother anybody.

    Quote Originally Posted by No brains View Post
    @ Sparx: If it's any consolation, I feel that way sometimes too. Putting why I feel that way to words can be hard. Also, you're not any wast of anyone's time or space here. A gaming forum isn't really a do-or-die place and just having more people makes us merrier. If we can't directly address the cause of your feelings, we can try to take your mind off of them.
    It can be difficult to describe adequately. Some days I'm just fine, no problems at all. Others, I'm having trouble just getting the motivation and energy to do anything, even just get up. Often just feel like I'm empty or broken, that it doesn't matter, and nobody would really notice if I wasn't around.

    It'd be nice if I could leave these thoughts and feelings behind for longer than just a short period of time.

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    Default Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4

    Quote Originally Posted by No brains View Post
    I'm not really sure how I can describe it. Maybe I just walk more quietly than other people and just live with some jumpy ones, but any time someone has their back turned and I greet them, they act like a hornet landed on their nose. It's not even like I get into their personal space or are very loud, either. I can be three meters away and speak at regular speaking volume and they just jump. I have no idea what's going on with this.
    Not to dismiss your perceptions, but you really might just live with some jumpy people. Does it happen when you greet other people, at work or in the context of hobbies? I have two friends who react like this, and I am certain it's not a matter of intimidation - I am not a physically or socially intimidating person (5'4'' woman who weighs ~120 pounds), they're both much taller and stronger than I am (about six feet tall, one plays rugby and the other does a lot of martial arts), and we've been close friends for 15+ years. They are just super twitchy about having people nearby who they didn't notice.

    When we were in school, I tapped one of them on the shoulder to get her attention, and she swung around and punched me, apparently without thinking about it at all - she was very apologetic, but her explanation was basically 'I'm sorry, I have hair-trigger reflexes, especially related to anything coming near my neck'. I was recently staying with the other friend, said a quiet 'hey, it's 3pm' (or whatever time we'd arranged for me to wake them) from the entrance of the room where they were napping, and they were suddenly scrambling to their feet and looking around in all directions, it took them a couple of minutes to calm down.

    TL:DR; Some people are easily startled by the unanticipated presence of others, even if there's no objective reason to be surprised. It may not have anything to do with you.
    Last edited by Ifni; 2015-09-13 at 02:59 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Snark View Post
    I must not argue on the Internet.
    Internet argument is the mind-killer.
    It is the little death that brings total aggravation.
    I will face my annoyance.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    When it has gone past I will turn my inner eye to see its path.
    Where the irritation has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

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