Smeggedoff's We Be Goblins [IC]

[Smeggedoff]

You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result. Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut.

That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!

So. Here you alls is in front of the moot house. But who's gonna go in before Slorb says so? Not you, that's who. Best wait, maybe 'ave a little look-see at who else is here.

((Feel free to introduce your characters and rp a little while you wait to be invited inside))

[Sqmach]

Irnk stood outside the moot house, a bit uncomfortable in his own skin. He would have preferred to be merged with Brute, it was simply more natural for him nowadays. However, he felt it would be disrespectful to the chief to not answer his summons in his own form, and disrespecting the chief was something he did not want to risk doing. And so he stood there, a little balding runt of a goblin. He pulled his small brass orb out of his pocket and squeezed it in his left fist, an attempt to relief his stress, not that it worked much. He was excited that the chief would give him a great task, it must mean the tribe was finally recognizing his worth, but he was also dreadfully nervous. What was so important that it needed this many of the tribe's greatest warriors? After some deliberation, he let a few words slip out towards the other gathered goblins, "What we here for? Y'all know?"

[stack]

Burn watches the ground and shuffles his feet. Didn't burn any huts...or food...or goblins...not in trouble? "Dunno." The scent of smoke lingers over the normal goblin scent. He had been pulled away from the growing bonfire for the feast before he was too enthralled. "Maybe...dunno."

[Comissar]

Xab grinned nastily at the other Goblins, their discomfort amusing him. "Maybe Burn and Irnk are in big trouble! Maybe Chief's mission is to send them away, never come back."

Chuckling quietly to himself, Xab turned away from the door while he waited. He had no doubts about why he had been called here. Clearly there was something that the Chief wanted him to handle. The thought made him puff out his chest a bit more, out of all the goblins in the tribe, he'd been asked for personally!

And the other three...

Xab frowned at the treacherous thought. Maybe... Maybe the Chief wanted to make sure there were other goblins around who saw his heroics. Let them tell it in their own words? He nodded, his grin returning. Yes. Yes, that must be it.

[stack]

"Hope not, here home."

[Sqmach]

Xab's words stung Irnk for a second, he feared they might be true, but a quick squeeze of his bronze orb helped to dispel his fear. "No, chief need us for something, all us, must be."

[meltodowno]

Bam had lingered back in the shadows, watching events unfold. If it was a trap, he'd rather not have been the first one to leap into the hole. Seeing that it looked safe, he stepped out.

"Not worry Burn. Chief not send us away. Likely we chosen as best and bravest goblins. Bam not know why Xab here though..." Bam grinned, a self assured swagger in his step.

He dusted off his clothes a little, trying to make himself look a bit more presentable for the chief. It might have worked better if he hadn't been wearing patchwork threadbare clothing, as it was all he really succeeded at we dislodging the top layers of dirt.

[Smeggedoff]

Cutting through the air, the high-pitched nasally voice of Chief Advisor Slorb bids you all enter.

Inside, chief Gutwad sits precariously atop the Teeter chair (a 6 foot tall edifice he uses to properly look down upon his subjects)

Once you have all sat at in the dirt at the foot of the chair at Slorb's direction (wow, much honour), you await the words of the chief passed through Slorb (for the words in the minds of lesser goblins would surely flee at the sound of his mighty voice)

But to your surprise and shock, he speaks to you directly in a deep booming voice.

“You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission.
You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks.
And it says there are more fireworks there!
I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!”

Before you can even acknowledge or question the Chief, you find yourselves once more standing outside the moot house with a map clutched in Xab's hand and the door slamming behind you all.

[Comissar]

Xab's grin turned to a sneer at Bam's words. He was about to spit back a retort when Chief Advisor Slorb summoned them inside. Biting back his frustration, he ducked inside the Chief's hut. He listened with growing awe at the Chief's masterful plan. To not only have the wisdom to use Scribbleface's fireworks, but to have the fortune to know where more were! And the intelligence to send his best to fetch them! Truly there were no Chief's like him.

Xab felt his heart race at the talk of the danger's ahead, that same heady mix of terror and courage as the day he faced down that horse. As he was shoved back out of the Chief's hut, he felt a scroll pushed into his hand at the same time. Glancing down at it in confusion, it took a moment or two for realisation to dawn. He'd been entrusted with the map.

Xab pulled a face at Bam, "Don't see Bam with map!" Realising he had no further witty remarks to continue with, Xab resorted to just sticking his tongue out at the other Goblin.

[meltodowno]

Bam had listened intently to the chiefs words, awe written across his face at the depths of the chiefs voice. As the exited her heard Xab's declaration of pride over the map. Truthfully, he wanted the map, but he wouldn't let Xab know that.

"Course not. Heroes not carry maps. Navigators carry maps. Best figure which way we go tomorrow, navigator."

Bam sneered, proud of his own wittyness.

"Bam too busy looking forward to games and bonfire. Have fun with map, Xab."

Bam started making his way off towards the bonfire. He had a thirst for fun that needed quenching before they set off on their epic quest.

[Sqmach]

Irnk thought he understood Bam's game, trying to make Xab feel like he didn't want the map anymore. He thought he'd join in on the fun, if only to get even for Xab's earlier comments about Burn and himself being sent away.

"Bam right, map holder is navigator. Explains why Xab here, makes sense now, need someone hold map."

He grinned, showing his sharp teeth.

"Well, hold map for us, we need it in mornin."

And with that he followed after Bam towards the bonfire. He wasn't really the kind to join in the festivities, but he'd find a nice spot to watch from the distance and think.

[meltodowno]

Bam skipped slightly ahead of Irnk with a mixture of glee and barely contained energy, which was slowly building up in anticipation of the festivities, he turned back to Irnk and reached to grab his hand and tug him along faster.

"Come onnnnn Irnk! We missing it!" he said with urgency "Need Irnk to chea .... compete ... to compete in games of strength! Might be food. You know how much Bam loves soap!"

[Comissar]

Xab's eyes narrowed suspiciously as both Bam and Irnk made fun of the map. A worm of doubt began to gnaw at his self-confidence. He'd been sure that they'd be jealous of him. Why weren't they jealous?

Carefully, holding the map at arm's length, he opened it up to take a look at it.

[Sqmach]

Irnk let Bam pull him along. It wasn't really his plan to get roped into the festivities, but he saw no harm in going along with it. Besides, he might as well enjoy it, given they had no way of knowing what awaited on the mission.

Food does sound good, he thought to himself, but what is this about soap?

[stack]

Burn cowers throughout the audience and shies away from the others as soon as they are clear.He speaks quietly, growing manic, then collecting himself. "Need map, map burn, keep away, important. Party fire, fire voices, voices more fire, more fire, heheheheheheheburnburnburn, no burn map need map."

[Smeggedoff]

Goblins toil all afternoon to build the bonfire out of branches, sticks, and unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of Scribbleface’s hut. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teeter Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfire, and the chief lights the fire with a Desnan candle.
This signals the start of an all-night party that features lots of good things to eat (snails, fish, and snakes) and gives a chance to enjoy being goblins, mingling with your kind as the evening continues with feasting and dares.
The chief brings out a barrel of fermenting cider apples early on and most goblins begin to get drunk very quickly

[Comissar]

Squinting at the map, Xab couldn't see anything wrong with it. He wasn't sure why everything had been drawn upside down, but he wasn't about to question the Chief's wisdom. "Nothing wrong with having map..." He muttered to himself, "Map most important thing..."

Rolling the map up, Xab shoved it in one of his pockets without any ceremony. Realising the other three had already gone on ahead, he raced after them, eager to engage in some good old fashioned Goblin fun.

[stack]

Burn grabs handfuls of food, but ultimately ends up staring blankly into the fire, rocking back and forth slowly.

The snails intended for dinner senses their opportunity and make a break for it, unnoticed by the goblin.

[Sqmach]

Irnk grabbed what food he could, stuffing himself. He normally wasn't one to gorge himself, but this wasn't a normal day. Tomorrow they were leaving for their important mission, no telling when they'd next get to eat so well, if ever.

Besides, he thought, snails is delicious.

[Smeggedoff]

As the evening progresses, Word that the four of you will be going on a quest begins to circulate and you hear your names being said more and more.
Rumours begin to circulate that the chief's even opened the vault and will be providing you with prizes to help your quest, should you be bold enough to claim them.

After an hour or so, when everyone's good and tipsy, a goblin named Bugnose stands on an empty barrel and smacks a stick against it to make noise

"Eeheeheeheeheeheehee. Finks youse is heroes does ya? Fick youse is clevva an kwik? Well Bugnose finks maybe not ee does! eeheeeheeehee!"

There's a chorus of jeers and ooooooooohs from the crowd

"But bugnose is fair he is! SHUT UP! Yes he is! So Bugnose will gives you a chance."

A hush falls over the crowd

he points to each of you in turn

"Bugnose dares you.... to dance wiv SQUEALY NORD!"

Spoiler: Squealy Nord

Show

Fearsome pet of the chief
The goblins describe Squealy
Nord as a fearsome boar who
lives in a muddy pit in the middle
of the village, right next to the goblin baby
cages.

Spoiler: ooc: real-y nord

Show

In fact, Nord is a hyperactive piglet escaped
from a nearby farm.

[Sqmach]

Squealy Nord?!, a little pang of terror ran through Irnk, before he shrugged it off. He'd never faced so great a foe in his life. Surely this would bring him great honor, if he succeeded. Yes, he must prove himself. But would he play fair? Not unless he had to.

"How we win this dance? Surely you not want us to hurt Squealy? Chief would be furious."

[stack]

Burn slinks back behind the other chosen, skin blending in with his surroundings.

[Comissar]

Xab's eyes narrowed as Bugnose dared to question his bravery. He'd show him what it was to be a Goblin! He'd do whatever Bugnose challenged him to do! He paled slightly as the goblin laid out his challenge.

Dance..? With Squealy Nord..?

He gritted his teeth, well aware that he would be denounced as a coward if he refused.

"Xab will dance! Xab's braver than Bugnose, better dancer than Bugnose!"

[meltodowno]

Bam clapped his hands together joyously.

"Dance! Dance! Dance!"

He started a chant up, eager to see the entertainment.

[Smeggedoff]

Bognose points at Xab "Heh heh heh! Bugnose will see, entire village will see! Come dis way den, and we get you all nicey nice for the dance!"

Xab is lead over to a narrow corral where the fearsome beast has been tied

"Now den" says Bugnose "easy as easy fing, all ee does, is get on Squealy Nords back, and den stay dere for long enough."

He laughs again, a high pitched noise that seems to bother the swine

"Win, and der chief has given Bugnose a prize to hand out. Lose, and you get nuffink. But maybe Squeally gets dinner yes? hehehehehe"

He gestures again and waits for Xab to climb on and get settled

Spoiler: Xab

Show

Make me 5 ride checks please, assuming Xab doesn't chicken out at the last minute

[Comissar]

Xab shrugged off his restrictive armour as he prepared to mount Squealy Nord. There could be no backing out of this. His entire life had been leading up to this moment. Or... Well, leading up to the moment after this moment.

Gingerly climbing onto the fearsome beast's back, he gave Bugnose a nod.

Spoiler: Ride Checks

Show

This is untrained, should be amusing

(1D20+8)[9]
(1D20+8)[10]
(1D20+8)[23]
(1D20+8)[21]
(1D20+8)[20]

[Smeggedoff]

As Xab climbs onto the ferocious beast he feels a momentary surge of adrenaline. What power, to ride such a fearsome creature is truly awe inspiring.

All at once the gate swings open and you hear the smack as Bugnose encourages the pig forward.
There's a lurch as it charges out into the pit and you can see the crowd gathered to watch.
And another more sudden lurch as Squeally Nord decides that maybe it would rather stay where it is.

Sadly Xab's grip doesn't respond fast enough and the entire village is treated to the sight of the Licktoad's first Pig-to-Air-Goblin soaring a respectable distance before trailing an equally long furrow in the mud.

Xab hopes it's mud anyway. Whatever it is, it does an admirable job blocking out most of the laughter by plugging his ears.

[stack]

Burn watching the proceedings from behind the rest of the group, hoping he is ignored.