Chef Optimization

[MatrixStone93]

I remember hearing about a Chef class. It had a 1/a day ability that let the user gather the ingredients for any meal with perfect natural 20s regardless of difficulty.

Combine this with a non-human carnivorous or omnivorous race that eats freshly-made human brain, lungs, kidney and spleen paste for breakfast, and this character class starts to get interesting.

How do we go beyond this, and becomr the ultimate melee/caster gish chef?

[LordAlabast]

It's very simple. To become the very best (therefore, optimized) chef you can be, all you need is-

Spoiler

Show

[MatrixStone93]

DUDE. Spoiler tag your large images! We can't all have unlimited wifi!

Also, I'm serious. I want to make a violent and always-shouting- No, a hilariously polite and calm chef that will go Sanji from One Piece on an entire army's internal organs because he can, presenting a magnificent feast to his teammates, who will probably be disgusted that the humanoid is eating other humanoids, not that he'll care. He'll go into Gordon Ramsay mode when food is improperly prepared, and when lives are wasted, or something. I'm serious about this character, I have the skill to play a character like this seriously.

[LordAlabast]

DUDE. Spoiler tag your large images! We can't all have unlimited wifi!

Also, I'm serious. I want to make a violent and always-shouting- No, a hilariously polite and calm chef that will go Sanji from One Piece on an entire army's internal organs because he can, presenting a magnificent feast to his teammates, who will probably be disgusted that the humanoid is eating other humanoids, not that he'll care. He'll go into Gordon Ramsay mode when food is improperly prepared, and when lives are wasted, or something. I'm serious about this character, I have the skill to play a character like this seriously.

*Shrugs* Well, I'm sorry I made you angry. Also, I checked the rules for image size; mine was plenty small enough not to need a spoiler tag. I broke no rule. Since it angered you so, I did spoiler it, though.

I'm sorry, I just saw opportunity to try and make someone laugh. Sorry I failed... I'm not experienced enough at all to help you. Personally, I saw this post as something someone would actually be helpful on. It disappoints me that the only reply was my joke. I wanted someone else to elaborate for you, and perhaps make you laugh with my humor.

Sorry I failed, and sorry I wasted your time.

[MatrixStone93]

*Shrugs* Well, I'm sorry I made you angry. Also, I checked the rules for image size; mine was plenty small enough not to need a spoiler tag. I broke no rule. Since it angered you so, I did spoiler it, though.

I'm sorry, I just saw opportunity to try and make someone laugh. Sorry I failed... I'm not experienced enough at all to help you. Personally, I saw this post as something someone would actually be helpful on. It disappoints me that the only reply was my joke. I wanted someone else to elaborate for you, and perhaps make you laugh with my humor.

Sorry I failed, and sorry I wasted your time.

Woah, dude, calm down! You did your best, and the moment wasn't right, that's all. I was really more mad at my situation than you in particular. The situation has nothing to do with dnd, I just try and use that as something to do instead of thinking about this situation. I'm not the type for that, but there's just nothing I can actually do about this situation with what I have right now.

Thanks for spoiler-tagging the image. If this site had a friends/foes list, I'd add you to the friends part. :)

[ComaVision]

I don't think you'll get a lot of interest in optimizing a (presumably) dandwiki homebrew.

[Flickerdart]

DUDE. Spoiler tag your large images! We can't all have unlimited wifi!

This does nothing - images in spoilers are loaded whether or not you open them.

[MatrixStone93]

This does nothing - images in spoilers are loaded whether or not you open them.

Seriously? Crap.

Also, I'm pretty sure it isn't dnd wiki homebrew. It sounds like it should be, due to something so broken, but no. I'm not actually sure if it is dnd 3.5e, though. I... read about it on a 3.5e gaming webcomic's comment. But it might be 4e instead. Could that be checked? And if it is, can this thread be moved?

[ComaVision]

Seriously? Crap.

Also, I'm pretty sure it isn't dnd wiki homebrew. It sounds like it should be, due to something so broken, but no. I'm not actually sure if it is dnd 3.5e, though. I... read about it on a 3.5e gaming webcomic's comment. But it might be 4e instead. Could that be checked? And if it is, can this thread be moved?

You could provide a link to said webcomic page with the comment. I doubt there's an official chef class for any D&D edition.

[Sir Chuckles]

It's wiki homebrew.
There are three Chef classes there, one base class and two prestige classes.

The base class is horribly incomplete and very poorly edited. The two prestige classes are mostly complete. The Iron Chef is likely the one you're thinking of, but the Mystic Chef is much more gish friendly, due to full caster progression.

I'd say go with a standard gish build, toss in the homebrew prestige if need be, and go full ham with...ham.
See if you can't port of Pathfinder's Catch-Off Guard, Throw Anything, and Improvised Weapon Mastery so that you can truly go full ham.

[MatrixStone93]

Oh.

In that case, forget homebrew. This thread is now about creating the ultimate chef.

[Vaz]

Exemplar 5 with Primary Contact to get 24 ranks in profession (chef). Maxed Wisdom. Venerable. Sells soul to devil for a +9 untyped bonus to check.

Has a check of +47.

Masterwork Tools/ Ingredients in a fancy kitchen from SBG for a further +4 Circumstance.

Keep stacking on bonuses, and aim for a check of +140 through things like Divine insight, umd high CL scrolls of owls insight, guidance of the avatar etc.

Congratulations, you have now created ainslie harriet, and pulling 'that face' as he rubs oil up his length of meat (of your choice) means that you now have turned any none Mind Affecting immune creature within 10ft to your fanatical follower.

[MatrixStone93]

Exemplar 5 with Primary Contact to get 24 ranks in profession (chef). Maxed Wisdom. Venerable. Sells soul to devil for a +9 untyped bonus to check.

Has a check of +47.

Masterwork Tools/ Ingredients in a fancy kitchen from SBG for a further +4 Circumstance.

Keep stacking on bonuses, and aim for a check of +140 through things like Divine insight, umd high CL scrolls of owls insight, guidance of the avatar etc.

Congratulations, you have now created ainslie harriet, and pulling 'that face' as he rubs oil up his length of meat (of your choice) means that you now have turned any none Mind Affecting immune creature within 10ft to your fanatical follower.

I keep seeing this "Sell your soul to a devil" thing. What book is this trick from?

[Aleolus]

Exemplar 5 with Primary Contact to get 24 ranks in profession (chef). Maxed Wisdom. Venerable. Sells soul to devil for a +9 untyped bonus to check.

Has a check of +47.

Masterwork Tools/ Ingredients in a fancy kitchen from SBG for a further +4 Circumstance.

Keep stacking on bonuses, and aim for a check of +140 through things like Divine insight, umd high CL scrolls of owls insight, guidance of the avatar etc.

Congratulations, you have now created ainslie harriet, and pulling 'that face' as he rubs oil up his length of meat (of your choice) means that you now have turned any none Mind Affecting immune creature within 10ft to your fanatical follower.

Except being a Chef actually doesn't involve Profession checks. Being a chef involves being able to cook things, which would be Craft (Cooking). Craft is for anything involving making things, profession is for things that you. an do to earn money that don't involve making things or performing

[Grod_The_Giant]

Is Pathfinder on the table? If so, it could be fun to fluff an Alchemist's extracts as meals that are SO GOOD they have magic effects.

[Inevitability]

I keep seeing this "Sell your soul to a devil" thing. What book is this trick from?

Fiendish Codex 2. It can give you wealth, extra spells, free feats, or a skill bonus, amongst other things.

[MatrixStone93]

Fiendish Codex 2. It can give you wealth, extra spells, free feats, or a skill bonus, amongst other things.

Nice! This looks pretty OP, why isn't everyone doing this?

[Âmesang]

The D&D adventure, Something's Cooking, includes "masterwork cookware" (+2 circumstance bonus to Profession [cook] checks)… and a calzone golem.

That reminds me, I need to read more Toriko.

[erok0809]

Nice! This looks pretty OP, why isn't everyone doing this?

Well, you do have to sell your soul for the benefit. Not too many people will be keen on that, unless they're super Evil, or just really don't care about their existence.

[MatrixStone93]

Well, you do have to sell your soul for the benefit. Not too many people will be keen on that, unless they're super Evil, or just really don't care about their existence.

I don't understand what you mean by this.

[Inevitability]

I don't understand what you mean by this.

If you sell your soul to a devil, you're going to get tortured for fun, used to create some fell item, fed to a hellish monster, or suffer some other grisly fate.

Most people would rather spend their post-mortem time in a more-or-less appropriate afterlife.

[Aleolus]

I don't understand what you mean by this.

He means you have to sell the ownership. of your very being to an evil entity who wants nothing more than to use you to enhance its own power. Sell your soul, and thatt devil can literally make your life a living hell, before you die and go to the nonliving one

[Vaz]

Except being a Chef actually doesn't involve Profession checks. Being a chef involves being able to cook things, which would be Craft (Cooking). Craft is for anything involving making things, profession is for things that you. an do to earn money that don't involve making things or performing

I know enough chefs to know that this is not the case.

[Aleolus]

I know enough chefs to know that this is not the case.

Huh. I just checked, because I was fairly sure cooking was a craft skill, not a ''profession" skill, but cook is actually one of the listed examples for profession. Weird, since when you are cooking stuff you are creating things, in line with what you do while crafting

[Bobbybobby99]

Well, perception (wisdom) seems to be a more appropriate thing to base cooking on than brain power (intelligence), in my conception. But then again, I'm always of the opinion that you should have Craft; cooking and Profession; Chef, if you actually want to be a decent cook.

[Âmesang]

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe." — Carl Sagan