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  1. - Top - End - #271
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    jkhero73's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    I pop back out, with a sticky note attached to my forehead that reads "NO. He is not our problem."
    "Sooo, what now?"


    I insert a wi-fi router.
    Tomorrow is the future, but time isn't real.

    Heads up: I don't care what pronouns you use for me as long it's not 'it'.

    Who reads signatures anyway?

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfTangible View Post
    You botch your roll.
    "Which one?"
    Yes.

  2. - Top - End - #272
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Generic-Guy's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You lost connection...

    I insert a note: "Better idea where to put him? Undertale doesn't offer spots anymore and his papers are outdatet."

  3. - Top - End - #273
    Orc in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Mar 2016
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    Sewer maze

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get a pamphlet advertising Arborea Acres Retirement Home for Chaotic Good People.

    I insert a smiley.
    Last edited by Black Socks; 2016-09-06 at 04:36 PM.
    Spoiler
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    Gone like the wind.

  4. - Top - End - #274
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Generic-Guy's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You got one of the 'Thank you' cards.

    I insert a pice of cake.

  5. - Top - End - #275
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get a bunch of nomming sounds from the machine, and you get a note reading "More?"

    I insert a boot to the head.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  6. - Top - End - #276
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Libro's Avatar

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    Korprulu sector
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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get an arrow to the knee.
    The machine apparently doesn't like your taste in shoes.


    I insert a bundle of brand new appliances for the gnome's break area. (Including another water cooler since it was broken again )
    "Ye are who ye are on all o' yer days. All o' em. Includin' that worst an' tha best. Ev'ry single one counts. All tha way ta tha end."

    Recently returned from an extended hiatus.
    Spoiler: Extended signatures
    Show
    Both of the following are not up-to-date, but will be in the next few weeks.My Homebrew.
    Extended Signature.

    War Doctor avatar by linkele.

  7. - Top - End - #277
    Orc in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Mar 2016
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    Sewer maze

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    The gnomes give you a free cup of water as a thank-you gift. They informs you that they are installing security measures around the water cooler this time....

    I insert OotS comic #384.
    Spoiler
    Show


    Gone like the wind.

  8. - Top - End - #278
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Lex-Kat's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get OotS comic #384 back, with a sticky note on it. "Already read it. But thanks anyway."

    Placing three buttered popcorn flavored rice cakes into the machine.

    Lexington III, my Brute. Inner Circle. ! Melody


  9. - Top - End - #279
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    Aug 2016
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    Definitely Somewhere

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get three rice cakes back. Somehow they are not buttered popcorn flavor any more.

    I feed my entire stash of dice into the machine one by one. This includes 6 d20s, all different colors.
    The Greatest Threads Of GiantITP (in my opinion):
    A story of the exact wrong way to run a campaign.
    The best thread derailment of all time.
    The "canonical" list of Mostly Useless Magic Items.
    A ridiculous campaign.
    Weird dreams.

    Working on a laptop connected to the Internet is like writing on a typewriter welded to a circus. -Unknown

    My Nexus character

  10. - Top - End - #280
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Libro's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    Three panels on the machine spin and shows three lemons.

    After an ominous rumbling sound, you get alot more dice back out of the machine at you.

    By alot, I mean 3-4 times as many as you put in.

    The vending machine scores a six critical hits as it returns your d20's.





    I insert a casino token I found on my way here.
    "Ye are who ye are on all o' yer days. All o' em. Includin' that worst an' tha best. Ev'ry single one counts. All tha way ta tha end."

    Recently returned from an extended hiatus.
    Spoiler: Extended signatures
    Show
    Both of the following are not up-to-date, but will be in the next few weeks.My Homebrew.
    Extended Signature.

    War Doctor avatar by linkele.

  11. - Top - End - #281
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

    Join Date
    Aug 2016
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    Definitely Somewhere

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get an entire roulette wheel.

    I insert half of my broken three post rule.
    The Greatest Threads Of GiantITP (in my opinion):
    A story of the exact wrong way to run a campaign.
    The best thread derailment of all time.
    The "canonical" list of Mostly Useless Magic Items.
    A ridiculous campaign.
    Weird dreams.

    Working on a laptop connected to the Internet is like writing on a typewriter welded to a circus. -Unknown

    My Nexus character

  12. - Top - End - #282
    Orc in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Mar 2016
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    Sewer maze

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get a lecture on the importance of the three-post rule, but only every other word is said. "The ~ rule ~ important ~ it ~ critical ~ maintaining ~ functioning ~"....

    I insert the Bee Gees' 1977 hit Stayin' Alive.
    Spoiler
    Show


    Gone like the wind.

  13. - Top - End - #283
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Lex-Kat's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get your very own John Travolta, circa 1977.




    I insert Birthday Bear (from the Care Bears).

    Lexington III, my Brute. Inner Circle. ! Melody


  14. - Top - End - #284
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

    Join Date
    Aug 2016
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    Definitely Somewhere

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get a cake baked to look like the vending machine.

    I insert 630 kuo-toa. (The 5e design, not the earlier one.)
    The Greatest Threads Of GiantITP (in my opinion):
    A story of the exact wrong way to run a campaign.
    The best thread derailment of all time.
    The "canonical" list of Mostly Useless Magic Items.
    A ridiculous campaign.
    Weird dreams.

    Working on a laptop connected to the Internet is like writing on a typewriter welded to a circus. -Unknown

    My Nexus character

  15. - Top - End - #285
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Libro's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    630 kuo-toa come running back out of the machine, being chased by a gnome wearing a chef's hat. The gnome is wielding a knife and a cookbook titled 1001 Ways to Prepare Frog.


    I insert a wedge of fine cheese, some fresh fruit, and some (not-too-salty) crackers.
    "Ye are who ye are on all o' yer days. All o' em. Includin' that worst an' tha best. Ev'ry single one counts. All tha way ta tha end."

    Recently returned from an extended hiatus.
    Spoiler: Extended signatures
    Show
    Both of the following are not up-to-date, but will be in the next few weeks.My Homebrew.
    Extended Signature.

    War Doctor avatar by linkele.

  16. - Top - End - #286
    Orc in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Mar 2016
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    Sewer maze

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get a note:
    Thanks for the toppings, but if you could get me one of those frogs that would be great. -The Chef

    I insert a stunned and incapacitated kuo-toa for the chef.
    Spoiler
    Show


    Gone like the wind.

  17. - Top - End - #287
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    Spoiler: Off topic
    Show
    One of my players always wants to eat the kuo-toa I send for the group to fight.


    You get sent to jail by a leader of a kuo-toa tribe.

    I insert the Dungeon Master's Guide of every edition of D&D.
    Last edited by Sniccups; 2016-09-25 at 07:52 AM.
    The Greatest Threads Of GiantITP (in my opinion):
    A story of the exact wrong way to run a campaign.
    The best thread derailment of all time.
    The "canonical" list of Mostly Useless Magic Items.
    A ridiculous campaign.
    Weird dreams.

    Working on a laptop connected to the Internet is like writing on a typewriter welded to a circus. -Unknown

    My Nexus character

  18. - Top - End - #288
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Lex-Kat's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get a used first edition of GURPS.

    I insert a She-Ra "action Figure".

    Lexington III, my Brute. Inner Circle. ! Melody


  19. - Top - End - #289
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    jkhero73's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    Quote Originally Posted by Black Socks View Post
    You get a pamphlet advertising Arborea Acres Retirement Home for Chaotic Good People
    "But I'm not old enough to retire!"


    You get the She-Ra "figure" back, with a note. No.


    I insert my overly complicated backstory.
    Tomorrow is the future, but time isn't real.

    Heads up: I don't care what pronouns you use for me as long it's not 'it'.

    Who reads signatures anyway?

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfTangible View Post
    You botch your roll.
    "Which one?"
    Yes.

  20. - Top - End - #290
    Orc in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

    Join Date
    Aug 2015
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    Cloud cuckoo land
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    Male

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get the character sheet of Old Man Henderson.

    I insert a game of Red Dragon Inn.
    I am a Neutral Good Elf Druid/Wizard

    : "Disintegrate. Gust of wind. Now can we please resume saving the world?"
    : "Your approval fills me with shame."
    Never, EVER pick up a duck in a dungeon!

  21. - Top - End - #291
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Libro's Avatar

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    Korprulu sector
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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You wind up in a red dragon.


    I insert my college textbooks.
    "Ye are who ye are on all o' yer days. All o' em. Includin' that worst an' tha best. Ev'ry single one counts. All tha way ta tha end."

    Recently returned from an extended hiatus.
    Spoiler: Extended signatures
    Show
    Both of the following are not up-to-date, but will be in the next few weeks.My Homebrew.
    Extended Signature.

    War Doctor avatar by linkele.

  22. - Top - End - #292
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Definitely Somewhere

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get a thank-you note from a young gnome who will go to college next year.

    I insert the entire archives of Order of the Stick.
    The Greatest Threads Of GiantITP (in my opinion):
    A story of the exact wrong way to run a campaign.
    The best thread derailment of all time.
    The "canonical" list of Mostly Useless Magic Items.
    A ridiculous campaign.
    Weird dreams.

    Working on a laptop connected to the Internet is like writing on a typewriter welded to a circus. -Unknown

    My Nexus character

  23. - Top - End - #293
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get mostly positive reviews from the gnomes, although some are pretty critical of them.

    I insert an army of 10,000 orcs.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  24. - Top - End - #294
    Orc in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

    Join Date
    Aug 2015
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    Cloud cuckoo land
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    Male

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    3872 run back out, covered in blood. A note is then spat out of the machine, saying "Thanks for the XP!"

    I insert a ninja pirate robot zombie.
    I am a Neutral Good Elf Druid/Wizard

    : "Disintegrate. Gust of wind. Now can we please resume saving the world?"
    : "Your approval fills me with shame."
    Never, EVER pick up a duck in a dungeon!

  25. - Top - End - #295
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Lex-Kat's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get two throwing stars, fifty shillings, a used gear, and a rotten arm back.

    I shove a stolen TARDIS through.
    Last edited by Lex-Kat; 2016-09-28 at 11:03 AM.

    Lexington III, my Brute. Inner Circle. ! Melody


  26. - Top - End - #296
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    jkhero73's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get the TARDIS back, with a note that says "Your brakes are jammed."


    I insert an Animal Crossing Trading Forum
    Tomorrow is the future, but time isn't real.

    Heads up: I don't care what pronouns you use for me as long it's not 'it'.

    Who reads signatures anyway?

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfTangible View Post
    You botch your roll.
    "Which one?"
    Yes.

  27. - Top - End - #297
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

    Join Date
    Aug 2016
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    Definitely Somewhere

    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You receive the inside of the vending machine.

    I insert a chimpanzee and a great sword.

    Ninja'd by jkhero.
    Last edited by Sniccups; 2016-09-28 at 06:05 PM.
    The Greatest Threads Of GiantITP (in my opinion):
    A story of the exact wrong way to run a campaign.
    The best thread derailment of all time.
    The "canonical" list of Mostly Useless Magic Items.
    A ridiculous campaign.
    Weird dreams.

    Working on a laptop connected to the Internet is like writing on a typewriter welded to a circus. -Unknown

    My Nexus character

  28. - Top - End - #298
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Libro's Avatar

    Join Date
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    Korprulu sector
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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get a monkey-wrench. Wielded by a rather perturbed Capuchin, no less.


    I insert a 3 books; a compendium of Garfield comics, a book of Calvin and Hobbs, and a biography on Mr. Scruffy.
    "Ye are who ye are on all o' yer days. All o' em. Includin' that worst an' tha best. Ev'ry single one counts. All tha way ta tha end."

    Recently returned from an extended hiatus.
    Spoiler: Extended signatures
    Show
    Both of the following are not up-to-date, but will be in the next few weeks.My Homebrew.
    Extended Signature.

    War Doctor avatar by linkele.

  29. - Top - End - #299
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Dire Moose's Avatar

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    Arizona
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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    You get the badly mangled corpses of several level 1 commoners, as well as a level 1 wizard or two.

    I insert an elephant.
    LGBTitp
    Genderfluid AMAB, hence the gender symbol. I switch as it suits me.

  30. - Top - End - #300
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    jkhero73's Avatar

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    Default Re: D&D Vending Machine XXVIII: Output not guaranteed

    Quote Originally Posted by Sniccups View Post
    Ninja'd by jkhero.
    No need for such formality! Call me jk.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dire Moose
    I insert an elephant.
    You get THE CIRCLE OOOFFFF LIIIIIIFFFEEEEEEE!!


    I insert animal crackers.
    Tomorrow is the future, but time isn't real.

    Heads up: I don't care what pronouns you use for me as long it's not 'it'.

    Who reads signatures anyway?

    Quote Originally Posted by HalfTangible View Post
    You botch your roll.
    "Which one?"
    Yes.

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