LGBTAI+ #57 Infinity: I Love You, Always Forever

[Jaycemonde]

And there it goes, already boiling over.

Anyway. Small update. Already had a fight with Evie about when exactly I'll be moving in. This is going well.



I shouldn't have bothered posting on the first page. I'm probably just going to delete it to avoid wasting space that could better be spent by people arguing.

[Lycunadari]

And there it goes, already boiling over.

Anyway. Small update. Already had a fight with Evie about when exactly I'll be moving in. This is going well.

*offers hugs* Hope you'll be able to sort it out soon, and welcome back.


On the asterisk thing, I've seen arguments for both, and personally I'm okay with either being used for me. *shrugs*


Also, I guess, hi again? I've been away for a while cause I'm dealing with some bad health stuff and that doesn't really have anything to do with the thread topic. Also uni is stressful. But, in good and thread relevant news, my sister's girlfriend is visiting for the first time today - I'm exited I'm getting to meet her.

–Juniper

[Heliomance]

So.

That appointment I was supposed to have on Tuesday. The one where we'd start discussing surgical options. The one that got cancelled because the doctor was off sick.

I've just found out that, unless there's a cancellation they can slot me into, it's not going to be rescheduled until some time around ****ing APRIL.

This is not going well.

Hmm. According to the National Health Service Commissioning Board and Clinical Commissioning Groups (Responsibilities and Standing Rules) Regulations 2012, "appropriate treatment" for non-urgent conditions must be started within 18 weeks of referral. Well, from a little digging back through forum posts, I was referred on the 22nd of June 2013, and my first appointment was on the 9th of July 2014. That's, what, 54, 55 weeks? I wonder if threatening legal action would get them to pull their collective thumbs out of their arses.

[Amazon]

@Jaycemonde

Nice to see you got more freedom now that you live away form your family.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's friend. Are you sure about the college thing? I mean haven't you already spent too much time on it to just give up now?

Is there a site where you post your art? like deviantart for something? Oh and Hi nice to meet you. :)

[Athedia]

Well the credits will still exist so Jaycemonde can always change their mind. Also for some people it isn't worth it to finish. I have to because I am going for science research stuff but some people who were going for creative degrees (studio art, film, etc) decided to leave because they found work. Both are valid paths. Also college is hella stressful.

In happy news after an incident while cutting an apple I got stitches but now they are out! While part of my finger is numb I can bend it and it healed together perfectly!

[JusticeZero]

Yeah, I don't actually care about asterisks myself. Use them, don't use them, I know what you mean. But I know that a controversy on the subject exists - people started using the asterisk to exclude enbys, apparently - and I don't use it myself out of respect for the fact that some people now have reason to be annoyed about that particular term.

I have to see an endocrinologist for a completely unrelated problem, but I likely won't be able to get the appointment for a month or two. They're going through the teaching hospital to keep the costs down, but the waiting list for the cheaper service is very long. I'll probably ask about hormones then. I probably won't get them at that time since i'm sure that having symptoms for a medical issue involving out of tune body chemistry is going to result in them going "No, I am not going to add extra complications onto this right now", and I still have to talk about the subject with my partner anyways.

[Iruka]

On definitions, could you possibly note that:
While "Trans*" was at one time preferred terminology, of late it has become seen as problematic for various reasons, and is being phased out of use. The preferred term at this time is simply "Trans". You use the term in the definition of dysphoria.

Huh, completely missed that developement. Are there good places on the internet where I could read up on it?

[Jaycemonde]

Is there a site where you post your art? like deviantart for something? Oh and Hi nice to meet you. :)

Hi.

Like I said, what I posted in the other post isn't done by me, it was gift art for Hallow's Eve. I'm uploading all my commissioned and gifted art to e621, which I unfortunately can't link to because a). it's probably against forum rules and b). nearly every company, school, and small country ISP or network will have it blacklisted, though most of the art itself is SFW. If you do want to look it up just search for copyright:jaycemonde on the site.

I do make my own art too, but I don't really feel too excited about my skill or talent at the moment. I guess if you want to stare at it in vaguely unsettled incomprehension you can check my Tumblr. I almost never upload to FurAffinity these days and I haven't touched DeviantArt in years. Most of my stuff is grungy animals with guns and the like.

I also used to keep a thread going in the arts and crafts section here, but I haven't updated it in like a year and a half.

[Grytorm]

And there it goes, already boiling over.

Anyway. Small update. Already had a fight with Evie about when exactly I'll be moving in. This is going well.



I shouldn't have bothered posting on the first page. I'm probably just going to delete it to avoid wasting space that could better be spent by people arguing.

Um. I don't know how to reassure you. But you don't need to delete your posts. I'm glad to hear your good news and I hope you can work things out with your friends. Good luck.

[ThinkMinty]

On definitions, could you possibly note that:
While "Trans*" was at one time preferred terminology, of late it has become seen as problematic for various reasons, and is being phased out of use. The preferred term at this time is simply "Trans".

Personally, I think it's because people don't know how to pronounce the asterisk.

[JusticeZero]

http://hellyeahagender.tumblr.com/po...k-in-trans-bad
A few reasons there. It just wasn't being used for good, but more to validate binarist nastiness.

Tried talking to my partner about the endocrinologist visit. Didn't finish because they kind've blew up before I could even start talking.
They were frustrated that my voice is harder to make out right now, and went off on a rant that basically went like...

Spoiler: Discouraging words

Show

"I don't know why you bother with any transition stuff - nobody is ever going to see you as anything but your assigned gender, because I can never get anybody to stop misgendering ME, and I hate it, but I just have to live with it, and anyways nobody sees our gender as real so we will never not be misgendered so why fight it?"

It was a long rant full of misery and I simply had no good answer to it.

[Ravens_cry]

Personally, I think it's because people don't know how to pronounce the asterisk.

Yeah. It might seem clever, but a name you can't pronounce, what's the point of that? Why make humanity's primary communications path unusable? It's a bit medical, and I know some people don't like that, but I use trans spectrum when actually speaking, and genderfluid to describe my own state.

Thanks! I'm proud of my intact skin!

I know, I'm glad i did it today so I don't have to do it tommorow.

Also, EFF YEAH, HORMONES!

THANK YOU!

[Grytorm]

Sorry to hear that JusticeZero.

And congratulations to whoever had something to be excited about. I'm only vaguely cognizant about what is going on a lot of the time.

But also, can we stop discussing the terminology stuff? I know you have a good idea how to explain things and reach a mutual understanding with someone else but it makes some people find it distressing including at least one awesome person who has recently returned from hiatus and is already considering departure. Evenven if I don't understand why it causes stress I don't think we should be doing anything to drive others away from the thread. Okay? And this should probably includes making last points because someone else will want to make a final point as well and it just goes on.

[Rain Dragon]

According to Wikipedia, Mx. is pronounced "Miks" or "Muks".

The full form is "Mixter" so I'd go with "mix" for the pronunciation of "Mx". Although I've always thought "Mixer" would be more appropriate for the full version than "Mixter", which sounds too similar to "Mister" to me. (It comes from "mix", but doesn't only apply to people who consider themselves a "mix" of genders. Heck, it can be used for absolutely everyone, even binary people, like "parent" can be used for a mother or a father, not just a nonbinary parent).

Ah thanks, that's slightly more information than I saw at a glance. I only saw the wikipedia page and had to rush off. This is good to know.

It seems like some of the things tying me back to being male are almost becoming less and less mentally relevant to me now, like they're not bothering me as much. I guess this might be a good thing, but on the other hand if I am completely trans and not somewhere in the middle the prospect of that as my future is honestly really intimidating.

So for the moment I think I can safely say I'm not a cis male, and that I am starting to identify myself more and more as female now. There are still things that are holding me back to being male, but it seems like those are becoming less of an issue as time goes on and my mind gets more used to the idea. Still haven't told anyone outside the internet about it though, and I'm still uncertain of myself.

That's okay too. ^.^ I think both have their challenges (with quite a bit of overlap) and I wouldn't worry too much about where you are in things. In the end, if you're able to be more you you'll probably feel more comfortable and happy. Sometimes, I like to try to remind myself about that comfort if things seem too much and tell myself it's all worth it.

That's alright.

Decides its time to shave legs again.
Buys band-aids for any cuts.
Doesn't cut legs.
Wears tights all day

Why did I bother No regrets

Ahah. I'm sure soon there'll come a day when your unblemished shaved legs will be visible (if you want).
Woo for no cuts!

Man, having post number one is actual work. I suddenly regret my decision. :P

Post number one updated.

I don't mean to nitpick, but I note those few are outside the spoilerbox. I can help ordering things if you want (after all, I pointed out more work for you).

Spoiler

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I think that might be one of the biggest problems, and while it's being kept civil right now it looks like it's starting to take off again in just the discussions about definitions, like some kind of unpleasant business that needs to be seen to. Everyone seems to think that if they're trans they need to pick apart all the other trans people and say that their experiences are wrong and that they're "doing" transness wrong and argument over being trans is so ingrained in how most of the trans people on this forum think now that they don't ever bother coming to the thread unless they think they have to defend their position, because they're all tired of being here for the "community."

Sorry, I had to get that out. I wish we could just be a community like before, instead of a warzone barely contained behind a "this is how everything SHOULD be defined" DMZ.

Anyway, thank you for the kind words, everyone who's shared them. I was really unsure about coming back to the thread, and I'm still really unsure, but in light of the big news I have j kind of feel like I should try to care for my online relationships a bit more.



Okay, big news...first off, my girlfriend and I got an apartment. It's kind of a dump and it's shared with two other people, but it's a home, separate from my dad's house, and still close enough to places of business that at least one of us can stay in a job.

Second bit of big news, Evie is moving down from Alaska by plane next week to be in said apartment with me. It's a huge commitment and I won't lie and say I don't feel kind of uncomfortably guilty about making her come down, especially since Houston just voted against equal rights laws in businesses (please don't talk about this, I'm just mentioning it for context), but we're both happy with how things are turning out overall.

Third, Evie lost a friend a little while back. She was trans like us, not that her family seems to care about her pronouns in death, but they're going to get her ashes interred in the tombstone and it's going to have a picture of her fursona (a red wolf, if I recall) laser-engraved on it. That's honestly kind of another reason Evie's moving in with me--the cause of passing was a traffic accident and I'm a professional driver, so she nearly had a nervous breakdown when she realized the same thing could happen to me. On the other hand, at least she stopped texting while driving.

Fourth, I'm dropping out of college, full-time. I'm staying in one or two classes, but only the electives and only for personal enrichment. I'm done wasting time and money on a glorified high school-level curriculum when I've already got a job and I could be spending time improving my art.

Fifth, I've been getting a lot more art, both as gifts from friends and commissioned. I've been posting the majority of it on e621, which isn't nearly as awful a place as I originally thought even if their "Tag What You See" policy overrides what an artist or character owner knows about their characters (even where gender is concerned, though that doesn't affect me too much since all the applicable tags to my pictures are still feminine-coded and thus line up with my pronouns). I might want to share the more safe for work stuff I've gotten/will get in the future, if that's okay. This one's of me cosplaying as Poison:

Spoiler

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I guess that's pretty much it. As far as this thread is concerned, well, we already went over my fears on returning. It's nice to see the people who are still here. I miss a few faces that I haven't seen yet, including ones we all know had things happen to them. Rain, nice to see you've apparently embraced Goatism. JNA and Moose, nice to meet you. Sorry if I'm missing any new faces. I'm bad at this.

EDITEDIT: oh, there's one more thing. I'm openly pagan, now, specifically devoting myself to Baphomet aka OG Goat Mom (Toriel step aside). I'm happy I can finally express my own beliefs independently from my legal family. I'm gonna build a nice shrine, hhhh.

Hurrah for a new home! \o/

That seems fair. Best of luck. Y'know what they say about all work and no play.

Ooh, that's a very kickass picture.

That's amazing news too. I wish you the best.

So.

That appointment I was supposed to have on Tuesday. The one where we'd start discussing surgical options. The one that got cancelled because the doctor was off sick.

I've just found out that, unless there's a cancellation they can slot me into, it's not going to be rescheduled until some time around ****ing APRIL.

This is not going well.

Hmm. According to the National Health Service Commissioning Board and Clinical Commissioning Groups (Responsibilities and Standing Rules) Regulations 2012, "appropriate treatment" for non-urgent conditions must be started within 18 weeks of referral. Well, from a little digging back through forum posts, I was referred on the 22nd of June 2013, and my first appointment was on the 9th of July 2014. That's, what, 54, 55 weeks? I wonder if threatening legal action would get them to pull their collective thumbs out of their arses.

Oh no... That's a whole lot longer than 18 weeks. Really, over a year, ewww. And they're rescheduling this for ~5 months away?! That's so uncool.
I hope they sort their nonsense out. That's ridiculous.

Tried talking to my partner about the endocrinologist visit. Didn't finish because they kind've blew up before I could even start talking.
They were frustrated that my voice is harder to make out right now, and went off on a rant that basically went like...

Spoiler: Discouraging words

Show

"I don't know why you bother with any transition stuff - nobody is ever going to see you as anything but your assigned gender, because I can never get anybody to stop misgendering ME, and I hate it, but I just have to live with it, and anyways nobody sees our gender as real so we will never not be misgendered so why fight it?"

It was a long rant full of misery and I simply had no good answer to it.

That's rather sad.

Spoiler: Spoiler in response to a spoiler (idk if I should spoiler it?)

Show

If I were to answer to it, I'd say that transition is more for me than for the world and be telling the truth. Things are changing, though, and the future is unclear. Being prepared for a future where constant misgendering will not occur is not in and of itself a bad thing either even if it doesn't happen within a few years. (But it will, eventually; it has to. Peace and understanding shall conquer.)

[JNAProductions]

I don't mean to nitpick, but I note those few are outside the spoilerbox. I can help ordering things if you want (after all, I pointed out more work for you).

Woops, that's my bad. Thanks for pointing it out.

[Psyren]

New thread smell!

I didn't even know the asterisk was even a thing, much less that it subsequently became a Bad Thing™. I did find this though: http://www.transstudent.org/asterisk

I've always just used trans or transgender. (I did use "transgendered" briefly before later finding out that was also a Bad Thing™.)

[EternalMelon]

Personally, I think it's because people don't know how to pronounce the asterisk.

I think we should use Trans*, especially in spoken language, and then just yell "STAR" as loud as we can to pronounce it. Even when whispering:

"Hey Noah, I'm actually TransSTAR so if you could say "she" and other female pronouns that would be great."
"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't know you were TransSTAR I'll try to be more considerate."
"Hey what are you guys yelling about over there?"
"Uhhh... celestial bodies?"

But anyways I don't actually want to argue semantics.


Or is it pedantics?

THANK YOU!

YOU'RE WELCOME! (I like yelling)

Ahah. I'm sure soon there'll come a day when your unblemished shaved legs will be visible (if you want).
Woo for no cuts!

Someday, someday soon. But not really.

Also, you made me notice that my post looks like a ****ty poem:

Time to shave my legs
Bought band-aids for any cuts
Did not bleed today

Legs are now so smooth
But then I wore tights today
Exasperation

[Ravens_cry]

Yeah, good razors are bloody expensive, but cheap razors suck so much ass!

[Rain Dragon]

Woops, that's my bad. Thanks for pointing it out.

You're welcome.

Someday, someday soon. But not really.

Also, you made me notice that my post looks like a ****ty poem:

Time to shave my legs
Bought band-aids for any cuts
Did not bleed today

Legs are now so smooth
But then I wore tights today
Exasperation

Improved as poem
Elegant in form it be
And message remains

[Ravens_cry]

Itchy stubble,

Spoiler

Show

Turns to cuts and trouble

Spoiler

Show

Unless you double

Spoiler

Show

Burma-Shave

[EternalMelon]

Yeah, good razors are bloody expensive, but cheap razors suck so much ass!

I get past that by buying cheep razors and using them just once so they cant go bad!

Yeah, that doesn't work.

Improved as poem
Elegant in form it be
And message remains

And now, because I'm not a huge fan of haiku:

Spoiler: Poem

Show

Itchy scratchy legs
Irritates, and annoys.
Brings back smooth memories
Long lost shaven joys.

Time has come to recreate
This feeling I do miss.
To run my fingers over skin
And feel the soft soft bliss.

Ready now,
In a shower I do stand.
Cold and wet
And razor in hand.

Band-aids ready
To fulfill their need.
But through skillful hand
Legs do not bleed.

Briefly enjoy
My smooth soft skin
Before its covered
In soft cloth, so thin.

Put on a dress
And a smile.
For dressed like this
I'll be here a while.

The only one
Who sees me here,
Can't help but stare
In the mirror.

Her face is covered
In paint and powder.
Its not done well
But I'm happy for her.

I shave my legs
Just for one.
She's in the mirror.
She's glad its done.





I suck at poems
Which you can tell,
As this went on
It went downhill.

Itchy stubble,

Spoiler

Show

Turns to cuts and trouble

Spoiler

Show

Unless you double

Spoiler

Show

Burma-Shave

:P

[noparlpf]

So.

That appointment I was supposed to have on Tuesday. The one where we'd start discussing surgical options. The one that got cancelled because the doctor was off sick.

I've just found out that, unless there's a cancellation they can slot me into, it's not going to be rescheduled until some time around ****ing APRIL.

This is not going well.

Hmm. According to the National Health Service Commissioning Board and Clinical Commissioning Groups (Responsibilities and Standing Rules) Regulations 2012, "appropriate treatment" for non-urgent conditions must be started within 18 weeks of referral. Well, from a little digging back through forum posts, I was referred on the 22nd of June 2013, and my first appointment was on the 9th of July 2014. That's, what, 54, 55 weeks? I wonder if threatening legal action would get them to pull their collective thumbs out of their arses.

Geez, that's ridiculous. (Over here, the soonest any shrink in the entire city of Philadelphia can see me is 12/15 and I have five days of one med left. I love modern healthcare.) And yeah...more like 69 weeks. Definitely point that line out. Good luck.

[ArlEammon]

I wonder if any of you guys or bi girls are interested in someone in Arizona.

[Astrella]

@Helio; not sure if threatening action would help, trans healthcare is just such a low priority that we get shafted. :/ You could try, but I'm not sure if that would garner you much sympathy from the NHS.

[Heliomance]

@Helio; not sure if threatening action would help, trans healthcare is just such a low priority that we get shafted. :/ You could try, but I'm not sure if that would garner you much sympathy from the NHS.

If there's legislation in place and they're not complying with it, it doesn't matter how low priority trans healthcare is, they don't have a leg to stand on.

[Serpentine]

If there's legislation in place and they're not complying with it, it doesn't matter how low priority trans healthcare is, they don't have a leg to stand on.

Preach! \o/
The more no one calls them on it, the more they get away with it - even when it's not deliberate; it's easy to let standards slip if there's no accountability.

[JusticeZero]

So annoyed at basically every guide to voice training I have seen so far. "Pitch isn't that important because there's a huge overlap. The important thing is to focus on rhythm and inflection! We will now spend the rest of this guide teaching you how to adjust your pitch." Bah.
Regarding razors, I use a safety razor. The decent blades for those are still very cheap compared to cartridges.

[Serpentine]

There's some razor subscription company around. Haven't tried them myself, but I think I've heard good things about it. A part of it is they're pushing it as gender neutral, too.

[Heliomance]

So annoyed at basically every guide to voice training I have seen so far. "Pitch isn't that important because there's a huge overlap. The important thing is to focus on rhythm and inflection! We will now spend the rest of this guide teaching you how to adjust your pitch." Bah.
Regarding razors, I use a safety razor. The decent blades for those are still very cheap compared to cartridges.

The important thing is tone, mostly. Yes, there's a huge pitch overlap, but male voices have masses of deep resonance that you need to learn how to shift, which is both the hardest and most important aspect, and probably what they're mostly trying to teach.

[golentan]

Aye. It's hard to shift your pitch to a feminine without falsetto, I think.