LGBTAI+ #57 Infinity: I Love You, Always Forever

[EternalMelon]

I'm sorry. That I would like to die a lot of the time.
I do make the same sort of mistakes again and again.
I'm posting this because I don't feel to well.
I held my breath for a minute and my heartbeat felt weird.
And I can't stop paying attention to it.
(Does anyone know if that is serious)
Which sounds weird. I'm crying right now.
And I'm sorry that if I die I couldn't be here.

I'm not sure about your situation, but I hope you are talking to someone about your morbidity. If you're not, I would see about fixing that ASAP. It doesn't have to be a doctor necessarily, just make sure its someone you know/trust/love/any of the above. If you can't find anyone I'm sure anyone here would be open to help.

Holding your breath for a minute is generally not the best thing to do, and quick google search doesn't suggest anything serious besides a mild arrhythmia. But I would recommend seeing doctor as soon as possible and not sleeping (I don't know what time it is there but its super late here) if you do have concerns. Or at least until it goes away.

Crying is alright, if you're scared, just try and calm yourself down.

Hope this helps.

[ThinkMinty]

Spoiler

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Do people think I pass?

...wait you're trans? I honestly was just like, "Oh, there's a brunette with the that goes foof.". Ya got a foofy head, ya foof.

Sooooooooo the girl I was talking about last topic is nowwwww dating me :3 much success! She's so pretty and cool and a rock star so why does she like me??? Prolly cause I'm cute. But yeah! Trans girl yuri is purest relationship tbh

Yuri in general is purest relationship. I uh, eh, girls in girl-love is ****in' adorbs. Girls that like girls are cute...and now y'all know about Minty and his fondness for girls that like girls. I don't gotta justify myself.

It varies. Sometimes they're good characters that just happen to be women, and if you swapped their genders they'd be pretty much the same. Sometimes the fact they're a woman is a major defining feature of the character, that couldn't be done or that would be very different if it was a man. Compare Ripley from the first Alien movie with Ripley from the last two Alien movies. The main goal is diversity of character types.

The easy way to get from "Female Character, Strong" to "Strong Character, Female" is by including enough chicks so that no one or two chicks have to represent their whole gender. Then they're characters who are incidentally chicks, so they can be ditzy or grumpy or lovestruck or hyperactive without people losing their damn minds over every little character flaw.

[Grytorm]

I'm not sure about your situation, but I hope you are talking to someone about your morbidity. If you're not, I would see about fixing that ASAP. It doesn't have to be a doctor necessarily, just make sure its someone you know/trust/love/any of the above. If you can't find anyone I'm sure anyone here would be open to help.

Holding your breath for a minute is generally not the best thing to do, and quick google search doesn't suggest anything serious besides a mild arrhythmia. But I would recommend seeing doctor as soon as possible and not sleeping (I don't know what time it is there but its super late here) if you do have concerns. Or at least until it goes away.

Crying is alright, if you're scared, just try and calm yourself down.

Hope this helps.

Oh it was late. I'm fine now at least as far as feeling healthy. It probably was an arythmia. Or something. Sorry if I scared everyone. The morbidity is harder to fix. Um, I'll try to think of a better response later.

[Astrella]

Anything I could do to help with the anxiety?

Is just tied into general lack of self-worth, viewing myself as not having any value. so the deal is that my girlfriend is poly. She lives in the UK, I live in Belgium and she has another girlfriend in the US. Adn my mind just has periods of going "if you were a decent partner she wouldn't need anyone else" which I know is nonsense and not how being poly works, but the nagging just pops up from time to time and makes me scared and insecure.

[Ravens_cry]

Follow up with the endocrinologist this week. Scary but awesome. Also, a dress I ordered online finally arrived. Yay~! It's not quite as flared as the picture, guess you'd need a petticoat for that, but it still gives quite the appearance of hips as is.
In other news, I asked someone out I'd been mooning about for some time. They said no, but I am glad I did, if only because it gave some closure to my whole obsession.

[EternalMelon]

Oh it was late. I'm fine now at least as far as feeling healthy. It probably was an arythmia. Or something. Sorry if I scared everyone. The morbidity is harder to fix. Um, I'll try to think of a better response later.

Well I'm glad your feeling better. No need to apologize for any scaring.

WHile im here...

Follow up with the endocrinologist this week. Scary but awesome. Also, a dress I ordered online finally arrived. Yay~! It's not quite as flared as the picture, guess you'd need a petticoat for that, but it still gives quite the appearance of hips as is.
In other news, I asked someone out I'd been mooning about for some time. They said no, but I am glad I did, if only because it gave some closure to my whole obsession.

Yay dress! Yay Closure!

/lurk

[Shadowscale]

Is just tied into general lack of self-worth, viewing myself as not having any value. so the deal is that my girlfriend is poly. She lives in the UK, I live in Belgium and she has another girlfriend in the US. Adn my mind just has periods of going "if you were a decent partner she wouldn't need anyone else" which I know is nonsense and not how being poly works, but the nagging just pops up from time to time and makes me scared and insecure.

Take what I say with a grain of salt, but it sounds like you're not poly and the only reason you're going along with this is out of fear of making her unhappy or losing her in the event she had to choose, either way doesn't sound the most healthy of a situation.

[Virdish]

Take what I say with a grain of salt, but it sounds like you're not poly and the only reason you're going along with this is out of fear of making her unhappy or losing her in the event she had to choose, either way doesn't sound the most healthy of a situation.

I'm not so sure of that. I mean, I may not be completely knowledgeable about the situation but I know when I first started poly I had some serious issues. A lot of it was dealing with rewiring my brain to not associate another partner with a problem in the relationship. I was raised Christian and so the transition to poly was rough but it was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I had people tell me at first that I wasn't poly but I chose to ignore them and I finally came out the other side.

By the way. I'm Virdish. I'm poly, genderqueer, and pansexual. Nice to meet you all.

[Miriel]

Thanks ThinkMinty

Hang on hang on hang on.
Are those strawberries on pizza?

Yes

[Lissou]

Oh, congrats Lissou, hope you keep having good times. :)

----

I'm okay, just trying to deal with my mom and the usual relationship anxiety and other anxieties that crawl around in my head. :/

Thanks! And I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety :(

Is just tied into general lack of self-worth, viewing myself as not having any value. so the deal is that my girlfriend is poly. She lives in the UK, I live in Belgium and she has another girlfriend in the US. And my mind just has periods of going "if you were a decent partner she wouldn't need anyone else" which I know is nonsense and not how being poly works, but the nagging just pops up from time to time and makes me scared and insecure.

*Hugs* That sucks. Mono/poly relationships can be very challenging, and it's perfectly normal, even if you know, rationally, how it works, to worry about it, because it's just a fundamental difference you can understand in theory but is much harder to completely understand and internalize. And I'm sure it doesn't help that it's all long distance, since a lot of people get comfort from touch. So if you need extra reassurance from her it's completely normal and unsurprising. Long-distance can be hard because the distance can make you feel like you're losing that connection. Any extra challenges, such as different relationship styles, would compound the problem.

I really hope the situation with your mom will get better. It seems to lead to a huge amount of stress and that sucks. *Hugs* again.

[golentan]

You know, as much as I think your ladyfriend is a swell gal and you make a cute pair, it's not a horrible thing if you realize that the relationship you have with her is not the one you want. It's okay to want to pursue a monogamous relationship regardless of the interests of a poly person where that's their only flaw (from your perspective). It's okay for an asexual and allosexual to not go the distance long term because the asexual doesn't want to have sex and the allosexual does. It's okay for someone to not be attracted to a trans person because the genitalia issue is a turn off, regardless of orientation. It's okay for a man and woman not to have any romantic or sexual tension despite being heterosexual. Regardless of any unusual questions to that effect we may have received in the past, not wanting to try gay sex doesn't make someone a homophobe. And if any sort of thing like any of the above is a problem, it's better to have it out in the open where if it can be worked on you can work on it, and if it can't you can stop the bleeding on your friendship before they turn bitter.

[Ravens_cry]

Yay dress! Yay Closure!

/lurk

Heh, thank you.

[Astrella]

I don't know if I'm poly or mono and there just hasn't really been a situation that has made me need to figure out?, but I don't mind that she is. I mean, I had bunches of insecurities about not being a good enough partner before, it doesn't really have to do with her being poly, maybe I expressed that not the best. (Honestly our relationship's gotten better since.), it's just the nagging that also happens when my friends spend time with their other friends and such, I'm just not sure if I deserve people caring about me / spending time on me.

Sorry, is just, like, the worry si really just me not feeling good enough / having low self-worth, nto her being poly mew. Just the whole "maybe the relationship isn't want you want" is really not what I was saying / trying to say mew.

I visited her for five days a couple of weeks ago and I had a really lovely time mew, haven't felt that at ease in ages. Sorry I just, mew, if I had to decide X wasn't for me just cuase I had anxiety over it I wouldn't be doing anything. I hope I'm not coming over as a jerk mew cause it feels like I am but I feel like I have to say this.

[Jaycemonde]

So I told my dad and his fiancée that I dropped my college classes, that my girlfriend moved down from Alaska (and is currently subletting), and that I'm doing paperwork for an apartment lease and will be moving out soon.





It...went a little better than I expected.

[Serpentine]

I'm not so sure of that. I mean, I may not be completely knowledgeable about the situation but I know when I first started poly I had some serious issues. A lot of it was dealing with rewiring my brain to not associate another partner with a problem in the relationship. I was raised Christian and so the transition to poly was rough but it was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I had people tell me at first that I wasn't poly but I chose to ignore them and I finally came out the other side.

By the way. I'm Virdish. I'm poly, genderqueer, and pansexual. Nice to meet you all.

Did you change your name at some point? It's been a long, looooong time since I've seen that avatar.

[Psyren]

@ Miriel: Looking good!

@ Lissou: Always nice to meet somebody cool that isn't 1000 miles away

So I told my dad and his fiancée that I dropped my college classes, that my girlfriend moved down from Alaska (and is currently subletting), and that I'm doing paperwork for an apartment lease and will be moving out soon.





It...went a little better than I expected.

Feel free to elaborate if you like.

[Heliomance]

Aww, dammit. From the trailer, I really wanted to see The Danish Girl, but it sounds like it may not be all that positive after all.

[Virdish]

Did you change your name at some point? It's been a long, looooong time since I've seen that avatar.

I don't think I have. I think someone had this avatar at some point before me though.

[Dire Moose]

Your new avatar looks amazing, Shadowscale.

[golentan]

Guys? I ask you all to please direct positive thoughts/prayers/energy/hopes/whatever else to Miraqariftsky this week.

[Coidzor]

Is just tied into general lack of self-worth, viewing myself as not having any value. so the deal is that my girlfriend is poly. She lives in the UK, I live in Belgium and she has another girlfriend in the US. Adn my mind just has periods of going "if you were a decent partner she wouldn't need anyone else" which I know is nonsense and not how being poly works, but the nagging just pops up from time to time and makes me scared and insecure.

And if the relationship isn't uplifting, even if it's just from your own internal feelings on the matter, then maybe it's not the right one for you. Not being able to do it yourself doesn't mean you don't recognize the legitimacy of polyamorous relationships.

Guys? I ask you all to please direct positive thoughts/prayers/energy/hopes/whatever else to Miraqariftsky this week.

I hope everything goes better than expected.

[Astrella]

*positive vibes to Miraqariftsky*

Aww, dammit. From the trailer, I really wanted to see The Danish Girl, but it sounds like it may not be all that positive after all.

Yeah... it's a shame cause I really like Lili Elbe and would have liked to see a good rendition of her life.

And if the relationship isn't uplifting, even if it's just from your own internal feelings on the matter, then maybe it's not the right one for you. Not being able to do it yourself doesn't mean you don't recognize the legitimacy of polyamorous relationships.

But the relationship is uplifting. I just have anxieties over everything, happens with regards to my friends too. I like hre a lot, I barely ever worry about the fact that she's poly, I just had a bad day monday and wanted a bit of reassurance that I am a worthwhile partner.

[Shadowscale]

*positive vibes to Miraqariftsky*



Yeah... it's a shame cause I really like Lili Elbe and would have liked to see a good rendition of her life.



But the relationship is uplifting. I just have anxieties over everything, happens with regards to my friends too. I like hre a lot, I barely ever worry about the fact that she's poly, I just had a bad day monday and wanted a bit of reassurance that I am a worthwhile partner.

That's not exactly a positive and or uplifting thing I feel all for reassuring.

[Astrella]

I have an anxiety disorder, if I"d listen to my anxiety all the time I'd do nothing. I wouldn't have transitioned, nothing.

Mew, and I already talked to my girlfriend yesterday and she helped me out with my fears.

[Serpentine]

Lena, it's ultimately up to you what you want to do, and to assess your own situation and feelings. What everyone says is true, but it's your responsibility to decide whether or not it's true for you.
I can't talk about poly relationships myself, but at least one person here has said that they had to go through a similar phase. And really, it's not unique to poly relationships - anxiety about one's worth and value and the like is pretty common in mono relationships too. Basically, as has been said, it's okay if this relationship isn't for you, AND if you can overcome these anxieties, then that's great - these aren't mutually exclusive truths. Certainly you're definitely worthy of being loved and I have no doubt that you have a lot to offer a potential partner.



Ah geeze. I just heard on The Feed that one in three QUILTBAG relationships in Australian involves domestic violence It doesn't say where that number comes from, though. Look after each other, okay?

[golentan]

Hey, folks. Miraqariftsky asked me to share some pictures of her with you guys.

Spoiler

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... I don't know what to say other than I love when she smiles...

[The Succubus]

Aww, dammit. From the trailer, I really wanted to see The Danish Girl, but it sounds like it may not be all that positive after all.

Agreed. Was expecting a film about a girl that worked with pastries. Was disappointed. =/

[Dire Moose]

My hair's getting long enough that I can start styling it a little now. Actually, when I combed it into more of a girlish style after a shower and looked in the mirror, I realized I couldn't tell whether I was male or female from my face. Kind of neat really.

[Lissou]

Hey, folks. Miraqariftsky asked me to share some pictures of her with you guys.


... I don't know what to say other than I love when she smiles...

She does have a great smile :)

[golentan]

She does have a great smile :)

Right? A person could count their whole life a success if just once, they earned a smile like that I think.