I need a secret vault

[gawwy]

Hey,

I need help building a secret vault that only i can get into and out of and no one else can find or see/hear what is happening in it.

It must be on the prime material plane. It cannot be an extra-dimensional space.

Assume that there are beings trying to find it and they are Deities who look for it themselves and employ other beings to find/enter it.

Also I am paranoid as all get out.

How would you construct such a vault?

[Ancalidormis]

How big does it need to be?

[gawwy]

Larger is better.

lets set a minimum of 100ft cube (20x20x20 squares).

[legomaster00156]

It's worth noting that if you are the only way into the vault, you need to protect yourself at least as well as you protect the vault itself. Especially immunity to enchantment.

[gawwy]

Im already on that.

My character has been willfully deleting their own memories and recently acquired the willing deformity(madness) feat and thus immunity to [Mind effecting].

I also have a doppelganger that knows nothing about the vault that acts as my public facing self.

(The doppelganger is the same race as me with mundane plastic surgery to look like me and then mindraped to believe he is me unless I provide a key phrase to update his orders. I spend most of my time disguised with non-detection up)

Paranoia is fun.

[Flickerdart]

Well, let's see what you are up against.

All deities can
...use any domain power they grant
...cast any spell they grant (basically any divine spell)
...sense everything 1 mile around a worshiper, holy location, place their name is spoken, or an event related to their portfolio, with a sense that can't be blocked except by another deity
...perform 2 actions related to their portfolio per round as free actions
...spontaneously cast any divine spell they grant
...telepathically command anyone within a mile of a holy shrine or likeness of the deity

Deity SDAs can
...duplicate any spell with any metamagic on it
...invent new arcane spells without researching them
...spawn 5-20 avatars anywhere
...call any kind of creature as a servant, or create any creature from thin air
...foil even mundane disguises
...bodily control any kind of creature in a non-mind-affecting way
...craft artifacts of unlimited power
...fire a miles-long laser beam that destroys walls of force and prismatic walls/spheres
...swim through stone and metal, and alter them at will
...track creatures through the air after any amount of time has passed
...remember any event of a certain type that's ever happened
...extend their sight 100ft per DR and penetrate 10ft per DR of barriers
...learn a creature's entire life history by looking at it
...lay a geas on any creature (geas has no save)
...kill anybody anywhere and then bring them back to life again and kill them again, forever
...possess anybody
...create earthquakes 1 mile per DR away
...force a creature to speak only the truth
...shrink as small as a grain of sand, or look like anybody
...use legend lore as a free action and never fail a bardic knowledge check

If a deity wants your thing found, they will find it. But based on the above list, there are things you can do to shut down some of these abilities:

• Bury it on the moon, over 1 mile underground. If there are already underground tunnels, 1 mile under those. Then no followers of the deity can come within 1 mile and reveal the location, even by accident.
• Once buried, suspend the vault in a cavern so it touches no stone, plant, etc. Consider lava. Line it with lead and blanket it with silence.
• Slam the area with as many illusions as you can manage.
• Never emerge from deep underground tunnels so that the deities can never see you. Interact with others only through automata that are under your absolute control and that can never be subverted. Just to be safe, always order them to kill themselves before you are even near them, in case they are a deity in disguise. Your only interaction with your intermediary must be to mindrape it to learn everything it knows and then destroy it.
• Plant identical vaults, thousands of them, everywhere you can. Spread rumours about these fake ones being in all the places that you didn't actually put them in. Teleport backwards in time and tell some impressionable people so they can write it into books.
• Make more of yourself with mind seed. Set them loose into the world.
• Never tell anybody anything about your vault.
• Watch out for aleaxes.

Even then, you are at the mercy of any god of secrets or sufficiently dedicated deity willing to comb every cubic mile of whatever planetary body you perch on.

[gawwy]

ok so obviously the gods can just find it if they want.

how would you make the vault itself impenetrable?

you say Once buried, suspend the vault in a cavern so it touches no stone, plant, etc. Consider lava. Line it with lead and blanket it with silence.

why so it touches no stone or plants?

how much lead?

how can I block regular divinations and teleportations?

how can I still get in myself?

[Flickerdart]

why so it touches no stone or plants?

There are spells that can be used to speak to stone or plants, which may reveal the location of your vault and secrets about it.

how much lead?

A thin sheet is fine, just make sure to not have it be the outer layer so someone who finds the vault cannot scrape it off.

how can I block regular divinations and teleportations?

A weirdstone blocks teleportation and lead helps against some divinations, but wish can take anyone anywhere regardless of local conditions, which as far as I know means it's unblockable. Something you can do is set up hostile conditions inside the vault (such as traps) that need to be disabled from the outside, so people who wish themselves into the vault directly get killed.

how can I still get in myself?

Well, the easiest way would be to never leave.

[FocusWolf413]

Do you have access to epic spells?

You can always use wish to block all non-epic non-deity teleportation, and another to make it a null divination zone.

[Deophaun]

However and wherever you build your vault:

Boost your CL up to 32.

Cast animate object on your vault. Permanency it.

Now you can cast mind blank on your vault, as well as use Craft Contingent Spell on it.

[Baroknik]

Though it involves some deity-friendliness, you may want to consider Vecna-blooded and then spending the rest of your days in the deep ethereal. This would make you immune to any kind of knowledge, basically.

Also, something that may be worth considering is hiring a Spellsword (yes, the actuall prestige class) to punch your vault (or the entrance to it) with a reverse gravity. and then have it float up into a container of quintessence. This should (depending on DM allowance and interpretation) lead it to float off for eternity away from the world. It will be on the Prime Material Plane still, and accessing it may be the difficult part at this point (since teleportation may mean others can get there as well). However, I'm sure the creative minds here can come up with a good solution to that part.