How Would You Fight a Giant Military Robot?

[Ravens_cry]

Feelings are actually pretty important. Now, whether it will subjectively 'feel' them is another question, but feelings help prevent the 'donkey caught between two haystacks' problem, and other irreducibles. Sometimes you just need to make a decision right then, when two options are logically the same. There was a guy lost all feeling in a head injury, and instead of becoming Mister Spock, he became dithery. Unless one thing was obviously superior, he could not come to a decision.

[sktarq]

Good points, sktarq. Thank you.
Still, some kind of righting system will be needed. I've seen enough Battle Bots and Robot Wars to know how necessary such is.

I not disagreeing it is useful to have righting system than a gattling gun in many cases. It's more that a humanoid shape is royal pain in the neck to engineer a righting system. So much of an issue that they may leave it out. Just build a hexaped if you really want a non wheeled death robot

[Ravens_cry]

I not disagreeing it is useful to have righting system than a gattling gun in many cases. It's more that a humanoid shape is royal pain in the neck to engineer a righting system. So much of an issue that they may leave it out. Just build a hexaped if you really want a non wheeled death robot

Just watch out if they bring out a Really Big Glass though,

[Alent]

Given the requirement of children having to defeat it, it seems to me like you're going to have to go oldschool for this one.

Summon Godzilla with the power of friendship

[Misery Esquire]

Feelings are actually pretty important. Now, whether it will subjectively 'feel' them is another question, but feelings help prevent the 'donkey caught between two haystacks' problem, and other irreducibles. Sometimes you just need to make a decision right then, when two options are logically the same. There was a guy lost all feeling in a head injury, and instead of becoming Mister Spock, he became dithery. Unless one thing was obviously superior, he could not come to a decision.

In situations where all choices are, or subjectively seem, perfectly equal a random number generator serves just as well as a complex system for a dispassionate machine. Human choices should be made subject to emotion and everything else, because we'll have regrets, fantasies and other thoughts about what we've done, or chosen to do. We have empathy with what we've changed with a choice. We can become imbalanced because of our thoughts, our morals, or conscience ; a machine can only break through logical process or mechanical failure.

On the other hand, we can break down our thoughts, passions and choices to think about them, to discover or understand why we made a choice, a machine* will never have self-reflection ; only a long list of conclusions.

Which was, honestly, part of the joke.


*This is excluding true AI which are not, to me, machinery.

[AeonsShadow]

Two words. Electromagnetic Pulse. By charging up a magnet with an electrical pulse you can short circuit electronic equipment both temporarily snd permanently. They are relatively easy to make when you know how they work!

once its out of commission REWIRE IT TO BE YOUR MINION!

[Ravens_cry]

Two words. Electromagnetic Pulse. By charging up a magnet with an electrical pulse you can short circuit electronic equipment both temporarily snd permanently. They are relatively easy to make when you know how they work!

once its out of commission REWIRE IT TO BE YOUR MINION!

You'd also be taking out all the servos, relays, and electric motors, leaving you with a sculpture.

[Knaight]

For the thread as a whole, one thing that hasn't been mentioned is mud. It can be bad enough for humans, that thing is going to sink like a stone. It also meets both criteria - the robot should be scared of it, and children can take advantage of it. It's also the sort of thing that is pretty ubiquitous and likely to just be around.

I'm talking pre-modern cultures.
Sure, they'll get it pretty quickly, but a giant person looking thing hits instinctual brain patterns.

So do really loud noises, so this works out about the same either way.

[TechnOkami]

Spoiler: Fallout 3 Spoilers

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The same way they destroyed Liberty Prime the first time around.

Satellite guided missile barrage.

[ThinkMinty]

Seconded on the rust monster. They're pretty much made for this exact thing.

Since the door has already been opened for magical solutions, any of the following kinds of magic will do.

Spoiler: Magical Solutions I Could Think Of

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+Chaos Magic, because it can solve any problem if it feels like it.
+Wild Magic, second verse, same as the first.
+Ice Magic, for messing with its CPU, tripping it up, or just hammering on it with gigantic ice hammers.
+Lightning Magic, to disrupt its systems, or to melt the ground below its feet to make slippery mud if it somehow resists magical lightning.
+Fire Magic, to overload its cooling systems and defeat it with overheating. Or failing that, to rapidly melt butter or grease rations to make a slippery surface.
+Gravity Magic, because it shouldn't be hard to pin down that way.
+Summoning Magic, to summon Rust Monsters or a Sand Elemental of some kind. Or just dropping a whale on its head.
+Sand Magic, to jam all its holes full of machine-destroying sand.
+Machine Magic, to control it and turn it on the swine who sent it after me.
+Plant/Wood Magic, by making a bunch of plants rapidly grow inside of it to shut down its locomotion and possibly other components.
+Bomb Magic, by using small, targeted explosions to disable its hardware.
+Metal Magic, to warp its metallic components enough to cause failure.

It's not like these things are invincible, or even that good of an idea as a weapons system. A better use of the same premise would be a flying attack drone. Those things let you commit a war crime with the press of a button, and the best armor is being somewhere else when attacked.

Alex Murphy can fight these things in his sleep, so I could try and lure it to Detroit so he could kick its ass with an anti-tank rifle or a flight of stairs.

[Gopher Wizard]

Magnets?

I'm not a scientist, but don't they mess up computers and similar devices?

[DataNinja]

Magnets?

I'm not a scientist, but don't they mess up computers and similar devices?

Only if it still used floppy, or other magnetic drives. Magnets don't do anything against flash memory, unless it was powerful enough to do something to the robot, too. And if it's a floppy-powered Robot... I think that we'd be fairly safe.

[Gopher Wizard]

Only if it still used floppy, or other magnetic drives. Magnets don't do anything against flash memory, unless it was powerful enough to do something to the robot, too. And if it's a floppy-powered Robot... I think that we'd be fairly safe.

So it wouldn't do anything to a steampunk robot?*

*Unless is was made of iron.

[Chives]

Proxies or hit it with a car.

In a more interesting setting with better resources I'd have to batman it, setting up preconfigured launchers and mines using drone strikes to target it's weapon systems.

And if I had any choice whatsoever... ...Equally large giant robot with a hoverboard, laser lance, rocket pods on the shoulders, and the biggest speakers imaginable. That would be fun.

[Gopher Wizard]

hit it with a car.

It's not Dr. Horrible.

[Chives]

It's not Dr. Horrible.

Neither I nor the average child can lift and throw a car at someone's head.

[Jak]

Gremlins...

Maybe screwdrivers? I think if I were a robot, I could be afraid of screwdrivers and socket wrenches in the same way that some people (including myself) are afraid of needles and finger pricks.

And, taking an idea from Futurama: giant can-openers, better robots, new technology that renders me obsolete, and not being remembered.

[MrZJunior]

Given the requirement of children having to defeat it, it seems to me like you're going to have to go oldschool for this one.

Summon Godzilla with the power of friendship

No, you summon Gamera with the power of friendship, Godzilla is summoned by radiation.

[Knaight]

Neither I nor the average child can lift and throw a car at someone's head.

The car hits just as hard if you're in it at the time, and the average child can push a gas pedal, though it might take some mechanical assistance.

[The Succubus]

Infantry

Seriously. Infantry.

One guy gets on your mech with a hand grenade, pops your canopy and drops said grenade in your lap. Kaboom your dead. That’s not even the worst case scenario as it takes out the cockpit controls with you. The worst case scenario is a single guy scaling your mech with a rifle. He pops your canopy and blows your brains all over it, or simply takes you hostage. Now they have a fully functioning mech that looks like their enemies and you’re probably dead. Fighting in an environment with terrain that's both easily climbable and taller than you (read buildings tall trees) should be terrifying to any mech pilot.

Highlighted section - see Attack on Titan.

[The Glyphstone]

No, you summon Gamera with the power of friendship, Godzilla is summoned by radiation.

Animated Godzilla would show up whenever the kids were in trouble, though.

[Telonius]

Afraid of:

- Running out of power/fuel
- Running out of ammunition
- Somebody figuring out the automatic over-ride that my creator (being a sensible person) built into me so I wouldn't kill him
- Temperatures that exceed my melting point
- Temperatures that will freeze my movable parts

[Seppl]

While it would be nice to exploit specific weaknesses of the design (the legs have been proposed over and over in this thread), I would go for a more old fashioned approach just for sake of efficiency. Any kind of RPG or similar anti-tank weapon should do the trick as the armor cannot be very thick due to size and weight considerations. It will probably be designed to hold off gunfire but nothing larger. Apparently it is legally possible for US citizens to own anti-tank weapons. Even if you do not have a license it should therefore be possible to find one on the black market for a reasonable price. Those weapons are designed to take out APCs or older MBTs. Considering that a mech would most likely be used in an urban environment or difficult terrain (why else use something with legs?) it should be possible to sneak into range undetected. One shot should be enough: Hit a leg or joint and it is crippled, hit the torso and you should hit vital electronics, fuel sources and/or engines.

Therefore it should be possible to take down the million dollar mech for the investment of a few thousand dollars, with a high chance of success. I like the sound of that.

[Tyndmyr]

Hit it with a heavy rifle from 500 yards out. Repeatedly, all over, just to see what'll happen. Odds are it can't effectively engage me at that range, and in any case, I can easily go places it, with it's size and mobility, cannot, so retreat is assured. If it goes boom due to exposed explosives, well, problem solved. If not...it's likely mostly armor, and low on weaponry. Running it out of ammo is a viable solution. Then, I ride it like a pony.

[MrZJunior]

Animated Godzilla would show up whenever the kids were in trouble, though.

Bah, an inferior American knock off.

[Scarlet Knight]

You know I forgot the most basic method to have children destroy this robot: tell them it's a toy and that they can play with it.

Then sit back and watch the little monsters darlings cause it to fall to pieces. A teething toddler will have the pilot surrendering before it can chamber it's first round with nothing more than a juice box ...

[Wardog]

Plus chicks dig cannons.

Chicks dig giant robots, too.

[Ursus Spelaeus]

I'd fight it from the greatest distance possible. If I had to, I'd fire shots from extreme distance just to lure it into a mine field or other hazard.

[Icewraith]

Find a pair of buildings that are just wide enough for the pilot to drive the robot through.

Dig a tunnel between these two buildings that children can run over but the robot cannot, that is deeper than the robot and wider than the robot. Dig the tunnel so that the floor slopes away from the midpoint between the two buildings.

Line the bottom of the tunnel with the hardest, flattest metal you can find. Cover the metal in several layers of rounded rocks.

If you're really lucky, place the impact-fused explosive you found at the midpoint of the tunnel.

Grease everything.

Have your decoys lead the robot over the tunnel.

Tunnel collapses under robot's weight.

The robot's feet land on either side of the midpoint of the tunnel. Assuming it's built to fall, the robot adjusts the feet to meet the impact of the ground.

Unfortunately, the ground is built to slide out of the way. As the robot falls it should be forced to do the sideways splits without significantly slowing down.

The robot's midsection hits the ground with a great deal of force, landing on top of the impact-triggered explosive.

Ideally, the joints in both legs should be utterly ruined.

[dehro]

I'd spraypaint it's cameras and other optical equipment.. or wait for it to run out of juice.