Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition IV: Just what Doc Ordered

[Inevitability]

Player: Now I just need to think of a name for my ranger. Hm... maybe zz'dritz?
Me: Try that and I'll let you get abducted by lawyers.
Player: How about O'Dritzz Durden?

[DigoDragon]

Player: How about O'Dritzz Durden?

*Snerk* Someone is on a single track. XD


GM: “Convincing Kana to keep the dangerous jar of Chaos Smoke will take a successful DT 10 Heart Check.”
Gizmo: *Rolls a 9 total*
GM: “Well. Crud.”
Reuben: “Wow, the dice roller is a bag of tease today.”

Gizmo: “It’s a good thing Reuben helped out then.”
Reuben: “One is an eccentric inventor of clockwork genius, the other a 3-star chef with magical tricks. Together, they buck crime.”
Gizmo: “One is a peddler of wares, the other wears pedals... I'm not sure where I was going with this.”

Autumn: *Negotiates ship passage for 5,000 bits*
Reuben: (Whistle) “That is a good sum of money we put on the 'royal tab'. Saving the world is never cheap.”
Autumn: “I figure now he isn't going to be doing it grudgingly as a favor to this random stallion. He needed incentive to redline the engine / hazard every scrap of canvas.”
Reuben: “Yeah, that's a sound plan to me. If we succeed in our quest, then the expenses will be worth saving Equestria. If we fail... well then the bill won't matter anymore.”

Autumn: “Did I mention I know a lot about square-rigged sailing vessels? I know a lot about square-rigged sailing vessels. I'll just leave that natural 20 here.”

GM: “You are seriously making up a lot of time with that, though. This actually kinda throws a wrench into what I was planning to happen. Darn players. Please, never change.”

Reuben: “[Reuben] does have two Valor though and gets pretty lucky in a fight when damaged, but I want to save it for the party's later encounter. Reuben healings are potent healings.”
[Beat]
Reuben: “I might know one of [my] possible descendants 175 years from now...”

[ZeroGear]

Reuben: “[Reuben] does have two Valor though and gets pretty lucky in a fight when damaged, but I want to save it for the party's later encounter. Reuben healings are potent healings.”
[Beat]
Reuben: “I might know one of [my] possible descendants 175 years from now...”

It the fact that Reuben is an ancestor to Doc Wagon now cannon?

[DigoDragon]

It the fact that Reuben is an ancestor to Doc Wagon now cannon?

Uh... I'll call it fan theory for now. Even though their both my characters... XD

[Necroticplague]

Shibu: Most people consider an insect spirit infestation to be a good reason not to buy a property.
Gene: Most people aren't as heavily armed and desperate as us.
*Plays ghostbuster's theme*

[ZeroGear]

Uh... I'll call it fan theory for now. Even though their both my characters... XD

If Doc ever runs across a cryogenically frozen Reuben, I am going to laugh so hard.

[Theoboldi]

If Doc ever runs across a cryogenically frozen Reuben, I am going to laugh so hard.

Speaking of which, this was posted just today.

Autumn: "The worst thing that could happen is that he falls straight into the icy waters and has to watch as the ship is driven away by the storm at fifteen knots, totally unable to turn and come back for him."

So now I am imagining Reuben pulling an Avatar Aang and freezing himself in an iceberg for a hundred years.

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses

Show

*Plays ghostbuster's theme*

Best theme. :3
Can't wait to see the new movie coming out.

If Doc ever runs across a cryogenically frozen Reuben, I am going to laugh so hard.

So now I am imagining Reuben pulling an Avatar Aang and freezing himself in an iceberg for a hundred years.

Reuben, the last sandwich-bender. He doesn't have an Appa though...

---

Gizmo: “I go to the bow of the ship and study any passing birds to attempt to discern wind speed and direction, and then relay that info to Autumn, not that she needs it.”
Autumn: “I know which way the wind's blowing, Gizmo!”
Gizmo: “Doing what I can to help the cause, since my willpower is equal to Autumn’s fort. Gizmo is pulling a Nami. From One Piece.”
Autumn: “...That is possibly the least helpful thing Gizmo could have done with his skillset to help the boat go faster.” *cuffs*

Gizmo: “Gizmo is using his sharp mind and quick eyes too look for bits of land/reef the ship could hit and telling the helmsman to steer clear of it when possible.”
Autumn: “Just so you know, the open ocean is like 99.99999% not shallow.”

GM: “Just a suggestion to keep the smarty pants of the group the smarty pants of the group.”
Reuben: “Pants being optional with ponies.”

GM: “I feel kinda silly for asking, but the Warriors are one of those sportsball teams I've heard so much about, right? …I don't really know that much about American (assuming that you are American) sports.”
Reuben: “I'll ante up the feeling of silly by admitting I thought the Warriors are a biker group.”
GM: “A biker group that does charity events and has their own squad of cheerleaders?” *Begins to furiously scribble down notes*

Reuben: “Anyway, chaos in Ponyville... ah, I do remember that. The fires and parasprites. And Reuben borrowing someone's curtains.”
GM: “Don't forget the cabbages.”

GM: “And do remember, the elements are not around any longer. Nor are they within easy reach.”
Gizmo: “That's only because Nightmare Moon destroyed them when she rose to power. ...wait, wrong timeline, my bad.”

[PoeticDwarf]

Rogue (thief subclass): if we do that then we are thieves!

Barbarian: here are the keys of my chamber, could you put the dire fox corpse somewhere else, and ignore the green liquid
Rogue: the what and the what

Wizard: but WHO is that dragonborn. Dun dun dun
Me: do you mean your party member

Me: the crit 19/20 weapon is stronger than I thought (after seeing how te barbarian rolled 4 crits in 7 attacks, bringing the paladin on 0hp)

Asmodeus: welcome to AsmoTV, we have an incoming call, whazzup gnome?
Wizard (gnome): hey, could you make sure Razer won't make it to the city alive
Asmodeus: sure, oh sorry, the goblins are already killing him, and I dont want to make them mad

Next morning

Asmodeus: here is the gnome of yester...
Wizard: who are you
Asmodeus: Im your deity!
Wizard: nah
Asmodeus: I had to kill Razer for y...
Wizard: what's a Razer?

Other campaign:
DM: the campaign is called the white gate
Me: I thought the wide gate all the time
DM: wights, are you serious?
Me: Wides?

[bulbaquil]

GM: "Do you loot the sarcophagus?"
P1: "It's my sarcophagus."
P2: "Wait, what?"
P1: "I made a spelling error!"
GM: "Okay, you open the sarcophagus and see... your mummified corpse."

GM: "And then you get dragged off by a pair of tiefling lawyers from Wizards of the Coast's copyright squad, who haul you off in a paddy wagon together with a mindflayer and a beholder."
P4: "Flanked by gith mercenaries."
GM: "Right. Actually, there's only the beholder, because the mindflayer and the gith killed each other."

[Inevitability]

Me: I open the door.
DM: A large, comfortable room becomes visible to you. Two sizeable beds and a closet stand against the wall opposite to you. The room's floor is covered in many kinds of weapons, randomly strewn about. Oh, and there's a dead fox the size of a wolf lying in the room's center. The smell coming from it is so putrid, so vile, that you almost feel like-
Me: I close the door.

Rogue: I need a solution.
Wizard: How ab-
Rogue: A solution that won't end with that barbarian separating my brain from my skull.

Rogue: Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Wizard: You really like saying that, don't you?

Hobgoblin: RELEASE THE WORGS!
Rogue: Hold on a moment. Surely there must be another way, a peaceful way, one that doesn't involve both of my friends getting eaten by worgs?
Wizard: I think we should first ask the more important question: do I get to ride a worg?

[Bard1cKnowledge]

This is how we die, we take out a dragon only to be killed by a pack of zombie dire wolves.

[goto124]

GM: “Just a suggestion to keep the smarty pants of the group the smarty pants of the group.”
Reuben: “Pants being optional with ponies.”

*remembers one of Digo's ponies wearing a dress*
What if crossdressing be a perfectly normal thing in Equestria, pre- or post-apocalypse?

GM: “Don't forget the cabbages.”

Spoiler: Obligatory

Show

DM: The smell coming from it is so putrid, so vile, that you almost feel like-
Me: I close the door.

What was the DC of the Fort save?

[PoeticDwarf]

What was the DC of the Fort save?

Well, this was 5e, but he closed the door just in time to avoid a con save. The fox was the one of his "friend" and party member (see: barbarian).

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses!

Show

*remembers one of Digo's ponies wearing a dress*
What if crossdressing be a perfectly normal thing in Equestria, pre- or post-apocalypse?

Well, dresses don't normally come with pants, so that's fair game. XD

This is how we die, we take out a dragon only to be killed by a pack of zombie dire wolves.

That... sounds a lot like how my old D&D group went out once.

Me: I close the door.

Nicely timed. :3

---

Autumn: “I'm just looking forward to enemy sails appearing over the horizon. Shame this isn't a frigate, with pegasi in the mix they'd fought like seaborn battlestars!”

Gizmo: “Now if anyone needs me I'm going to Starbucks to download the module for the game I'm running on Saturday. I get to use three umber hulks and a demon, on mostly fifth level characters.”

Autumn: *Cuffs Gizmo* “You know what you did.”
Gizmo: “I already cuffed myself IRL, what more do you want? Digo I swear to Starswirl’s beard if you quote this...”

Gizmo: *Studies any passing birds to attempt to discern wind speed and direction, and then relay that info to Autumn. Not that she needs it*
Autumn: “I know which way the wind's blowing, Gizmo!”

Open Oceans: “Didn't I already tell you, kid?”
Reuben: “There... may have been alcohol involved. On my part. Um...”
Reuben's White Text: “He was somewhat recalling that tidbit, but he assumed some other dimensional being connected to him in a subconscious way may have been too stressed to recall exact details.”

Open Oceans: “It's almost like, you know, whoever wrote that wanted you to find Windsoar. They must be dangerously clever and shrewd, luring you to Windsoar for some sort of sinister purpose.”
[Beat]
Open Oceans: “Uh, that'd be really bad, wouldn't it?”

[goto124]

The fourth wall is breaking down,
Breaking down, breaking down.
The fourth wall is breaking down,
My fairy pony.

[Joe the Rat]

The joys of roll20 maps:

Soba-Tai the Monk: Why is Darth Vader on the Wall?
Charles the Rogue: I want to check Darth Vader for traps.

[Diachronos]

"'Conducting an experiment'... While other people are in the room... Say, I've got an experiment! If I hit you in between the legs, will you go down faster than this thing went up?"

DM: *walking around imitating a plague zombie* "There's a chair there.... There's a chair there..."

"Don't go to Donjon, you'll get a kingdom full of sulfur dioxide."

[Necroticplague]

Gene: An axe is a l0t like s0me 0f these pictures.
Shibu:........do I even want to know why?
Gene: Y0u're g0nna have a hard time getting them 0ut 0f y0ur head!

[ImSAMazing]

*My character, the barbarian, has just dropped the party's Paladin down to 0 HP in a duel, but the Paladin got help from the rest of the party to kill me, plus some worgs(See enderdwarfs/Dire_Stirges post)
Me(Barbarian): Guys stop it! I just defeated him. Duel is over.
Wizard: It is over indeed. And that's why we are going to kill you now.
Me: Noooooo

A few rounds later:
Rogue": I am so sorry, Rolls a critical hit, deals 28 damage, but I had to attack you

Me, OOC: When did your characters all started to hate me?
Wizard, OOC: The moment you knocked me at 0 HP and stole my most important stuff.
Me, OOC: You attacked me first, you know

[goto124]

Gene: An axe is a l0t like s0me 0f these pictures.
Shibu:........do I even want to know why?
Gene: Y0u're g0nna have a hard time getting them 0ut 0f y0ur head!

What happened to the "o" key when you were RPing Gene?

[DigoDragon]

GM: “If there's anything you want to play out before then, go ahead and do it.”
Reuben: “Like a musical number?”
GM: I don't know. Does Reuben have a whale of a tale? Is it all true? Does he swear by his tattoo? Yeah it's a really old reference and no one's gonna get it. Sue me.”

GM: “I am just amused by the idea of Reuben recovering willpower by singing about all the mares he has met and not dated so far.”
Reuben: “I'm torn between two songs. One about Reuben's feelings for Calamity and the other about his joy in cooking.”
GM: “I assume Musical Number is in order to be your next edge?”
Reuben: “If I don't, I give Autumn irrevocable permission to cuff Reuben.”

Reuben: [Tune: Come and Get your Love]

Spoiler: A musical number broke out in the galley

Show

"Hey (hey) What's the matter with your hunger? yeah...
Hey (hey) What's the matter with your nose and all your drooling?
And-a ooh-ohh
Hey (hey) Nothin's a matter with your gut, fellers, feed it
Come on and feed it
Hell, eat it, sailors, 'cause it's fine and sublime
And it tastes so divine

Come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch

Hey (hey) What's the matter with your full gut?
Don't you feel full, sailors?
Hey, oh, yeah, chase it with the sweet glaze, donut
I said-a eat it, eat it, buddies, love it
If you like it, yeah-eh
Hey (hey) It's your business if you want some
Take some, eat it together, fellers

Come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch

Come and get your lunch, come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch, now
Come and get your lunch, come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch, now
Come and get your lunch, come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch, now
Come and get your lunch, come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch, now

Come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch
Come and get your lunch"

[Anonymouswizard]

Investigator: Not only is the Slayer Oath illegal, he was in violation of it.

Investigator: He was wearing a vest.

Investigator: he made a bomb vest out of black powder? No wonder it wasn't effective.

'My leg got blown off!'
'It's over there!'

[RCgothic]

Autumn: *Cuffs Gizmo* “You know what you did.”
Gizmo: “I already cuffed myself IRL, what more do you want? Digo I swear to Starswirl’s beard if you quote this...”

Context: Posting Star Wars spoilers in ponythread.

[Anonymouswizard]

'...as a series of fantasy novels that get bizarre as they go along. Obviously written for young adults. Thought to have been written by a really high elf.'

'A world without magic, really hardcore noir stuff.'

[Necroticplague]

What happened to the "o" key when you were RPing Gene?

1. Gene isn't a character. They're a pseudonym, and I haven't been differentiating IC and OOC chat in this thread .
2. The character that was being RPd had an odd hollow effect to their voice, and I figured the typing quirk was a good way to represent it.

[Anonymouswizard]

GM: he removed his spy stripey shirt and spy mustache, I know he's a rat and that it shouldn't work like that, but apparently he pulls it off.

[goto124]

'...as a series of fantasy novels that get bizarre as they go along. Obviously written for young adults. Thought to have been written by a really high elf.'

Something something high elves.

[Mutazoia]

GM: “If there's anything you want to play out before then, go ahead and do it.”
Reuben: “Like a musical number?”
GM: I don't know. Does Reuben have a whale of a tale? Is it all true? Does he swear by his tattoo? Yeah it's a really old reference and no one's gonna get it. Sue me.”

I'm thinking he does, in fact, have a whale of a tale or two.

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses

Show

GM: he removed his spy stripey shirt and spy mustache, I know he's a rat and that it shouldn't work like that, but apparently he pulls it off.

Wait, an actual little furry rodent? :3

Something something high elves.

I'm now imagining Cheech Marin as an elf, and I can't stop snickering.

I'm thinking he does, in fact, have a whale of a tale or two.

You got the reference? :D

---

GM: “High up in the sky above you, heavy and thick clouds are gathering at a faster rate than what should be naturally possible. They swirl together as if sucked in by a gigantic, invisible vortex, molding into a carpet that quickly starts to block out the sky. And their colour, disturbingly enough, is a deep, glowing crimson.”
Leviathan: “Remember. I am the creator of all serpents, and queen of the ocean. And I will reclaim my ruby, no matter what you do.”
Reuben: “Did we get her attention? I think we got her attention.”

Reuben: “Hey Gizmo, you think you can do some calculus on the fly to find the perfect surface areas we need the sails at?”
Gizmo: “Maybe? I'm more or less in the same boat as the GM here (no pun intended).”
Reuben: “Puns are ALWAYS intended.”

Reuben: “Reuben is getting into a bad habit of nearly falling off the edge of something. He seems to have a poor grasp of the ... gravity of the sitch.”
GM: “The constant threat of falling must really be taking a toll on his sanity. I hope he doesn't lose his grip.”
Reuben: “I hope not. I'm waiting on the Gymnastics check results to see how all this will... go down.”
GM: “If he does fail, it'd certainly be a fall from grace for him.”
GM’s White text: “Is this seriously how I am spending my time on Christmas? Oh well...”