Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition IV: Just what Doc Ordered

[Taet]

P1: Wi-fi Doritos?
P2: GIANT Wi-fi Doritos.

Overheard at the game shop:
DM: (booming DM voice) We are now entering the lovely village of...This Town.

Different DM: Here's your character sheet, your status cards, your piece of scenery to chew on...

[Cristo Meyers]

As opposed to robbing the tomb, I presume?

... I just googled "robbing the cradle". I think my ignorant statement is now even funnier.

The context makes that one completely mundane, unfortunately.

Spoiler

Show

Rook's giving Medium grief for being A) the youngest member of the group (20) and b) being in a relationship with another character, Grace, who's 27-ish.

Gizmo: “Let me guess, there are a multitude of theories, but at this point it’s...” (puts on twenty pairs of sunglasses) “…up in the air?”
Background Theme: “YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

They got a Gibbs-cuff for that, right? Tell me they got a Gibbs-cuff...

--

NPC: So he turns into a crow, his ex-boyfriend a fox, she's a cat, and you're a coyote? What, do all of you shapechangers go to the same convention or something?
Medium: You try explaining to a normal person what it's like to shed every summer.

[Rater202]

Reuben: “Dang it, GM! I'm a sandwich maker, not an investigator!”

Sandwich maker named Reuben? Intentional?

[One Tin Soldier]

Sandwich maker named Reuben? Intentional?

He's a pony, of course it's intentional.
Sadly, I have no quotes to share at the mall moment.

[The Fury]

"Sit in the teacup, Annie."

[DigoDragon]

P2: GIANT Wi-fi Doritos.

Oooookay. O.o

They got a Gibbs-cuff for that, right? Tell me they got a Gibbs-cuff...

Possibly. Gizmo getting a Gibbs-cuff is a running gag to the point where I lost count. :3

Sandwich maker named Reuben? Intentional?

Well, intentional for the original reference, with the added pun that Equestrian Reuben sandwiches use corned-beets. Bonus points that the names of Reuben's family are Texas Rye (dad), Caraway Rye (mom), and Winter Rye (sis).

[Bard1cKnowledge]

Sadly no Gibbs cuff for Gizmo there, for that was ooc. And it was still funny (you need to know the context)

[TheTeaMustFlow]

CN Beguiler: You guys have no respect for human rights.

Cleric: You know, just once I'd like to have a theological discussion without it devolving into a swordfight or penis jokes. Just once.

[The Fury]

Nick-Knack the Invincible!: Is there a lot of paperwork in the afterlife? After all, I shall be dying after you, of course. And the rest of reality.

I guess that would make sense. To enter the afterlife you have to die, dying is entering the legend, legends are written in books, and books are made of paper. So naturally the afterlife will have loads of paperwork.

[GrayGriffin]

Jericho: "IT SPAWNS MONEY!"

* Surolam smiles as she manages to keep up with the much faster and somewhat random pace of Jericho’s dance. When they stop, she pauses, and after a while, as if driven by some instinct, raises his hand to her lips to kiss it.
* Travelling Maiden Huala absent-mindedly leans on Yin’s head and watches.
Travelling Maiden Huala: “…She’s a charmer, ain’t she?” *gives a cat-like grin, and blushes slightly*
Sacara: “No impure thoughts on the journey, Huala.” *She gives a gentle psychokinetic bap to her Trainer.*
* Jericho goes red as she kisses his hand and hurriedly pulls it away. “I- uh… You ladies and your Kirlia helped too. It’s only fair we share the money with you.”
* Surolam pauses, then blushes as well, realizing the actual context of the scene before drawing back.
Altair Azure: “Jericho, are you feeling all right?”

Surolam: *thinking* "Goddamnit, if we're related, this will make things so much more awkward."
Altair (OOC): sounds like Star Wars
Jil (OOC): between the fact that it's the pokemon world (and you clearly have strong poke-lineage), the fact that suro's nobility, and a couple other factors... may not be that awkward.
Surolam (OOC): Of course, eventually the fact that he's technically 7 will come up...
Jil (OOC): again, pokemon and nobility... and if we're getting into that technicality, jil's worse

[DigoDragon]

"Sit in the teacup, Annie."

This one leaves a lot to the imagination. I like it. :3


Flagon: “Ah'm sorry for the trouble. Couldn't help myself. If you just keep calm, Ah'll step away and we can all forget this happened. Make ah move, and Ah'll blow her brains out. This place is big enough for the both of us, Ah'd think.”
Doc: “I've had folks cause me trouble, telling me to keep calm. I've been ignored by bartenders just ‘cause I'm a stallion. I've been threatened twice by unicorn iceholes who suffered superiority issues. I've been locked in a blood-filled cave without lights as a prank. But here we are, and you've just shot my friend. How calm do you think I'm supposed to be? Right now I'm not very, and if Moon suffers any kind of permanent damage cause of you, I'm going to make a certain dead unicorn wet herself with jealous when I apply that suffering on your face.”

[DaveSonOfDave]

Chris: "Should I just leave?"
Alex: "No, start walking towards John, because we're going to need someone to take the book off his dead body."
John: "What?"

[Madbox]

Fighter: Basically, Jesus just elbow-dropped me, so I'm feeling a lot beter now.

[AdmiralCheez]

Feng (Half-Orc Barbarian): You guys are all horrible people.
Julio (Bard): Not I, for I only played my lute to calm them down.
Feng: I say again, you are ALL horrible people.


Julio: How deep is your deep father?


DM: I love Franch Dressing!


DM: Skiddlyboop? Sloobudooblop? God, I hate Kuo-Toa names.
Mordai (Tiefling Fighter): Sounds like a scat song.


Julio: The sea goddess's name... you know... Oobaloobaloobamooba.
Dravin (Sorceror): Floobadoob?
DM: Close enough.


DM: No, Ploop is different from Bloop. Bloop is the son of Blop, who is someone different.
Nadarr (Dragonborn Paladin): It all sounds like a toilet to me.


Julio: I am glad you have enjoyed this performance! Spread the name of Julio Mandara across the Underdark!
Ploop (NPC): We shall tell tales of the legendary Blooblee'oh Manoodoora!


Aedan (Trickster Cleric)(to rescued prisoner): Come with me if you want to live.
Dravin: We should rename the escape boat "Choppa."


DM: An oily, black tentacle rises out of the water.
Nadarr: Oh, not this guy again! I thought we ditched him in the last campaign!
Julio: You also see a WW2 tank flying out of the water, firing high explosive rounds.
Aedan: And one of the Kuo-Toa is wearing a trench coat.

[GrayGriffin]

Mako: "I still can't believe you said you'd fight a shadow monster over the ocean."

Nira: "Sorry for the awkwardness." She ruffles Celestia's feathers. "Someone forgot about the human nudity taboo."
Celestia: "I'm still not quite sure what you define as 'nudity.' After all, you wear less than that on beach trips."
Nira: "Technically, Mako does."
Mako: "Yup!"

Celestia: "And here I was thinking your love would always be the ocean, like your father..." *puts on a fake-wistful look*
Mako: *grumps for a bit before smiling* "I mentioned the sea being my mistress ONCE only!"

[RCgothic]

DM: Skiddlyboop? Sloobudooblop? God, I hate Kuo-Toa names.

I think I've had this exact conversation.

[goto124]

Sweet Celestia, is that who I think she is?

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses!

Show

Alex: "No, start walking towards John, because we're going to need someone to take the book off his dead body."
John: "What?"

Yikes. :3
I'd be all "What?!" myself.

DM: Skiddlyboop? Sloobudooblop? God, I hate Kuo-Toa names.
Mordai (Tiefling Fighter): Sounds like a scat song.

Julio: The sea goddess's name... you know... Oobaloobaloobamooba.
Dravin (Sorceror): Floobadoob?
DM: Close enough.

Just looking at those names makes my head hurt.

I once named the villain Illithid in a D&D campaign as "Lord Skl'skith Sk'eth" or something like that. Players didn't even try and nicknamed him "Lord Squiggle-f***". Did not endear the villain to them. At all. XD

Mako:Celestia: "I'm still not quite sure what you define as 'nudity.' After all, you wear less than that on beach trips."

This Celestia isn't a pony, is she?

---

GM: “Flagon took a bullet to the chest, which seemed to take some wind out of him, making him groan in pain. Then Stellar's wingblade met the side of his face. There was a small explosion of electricity, and Flagon's lower jaw was entirely separated from the rest of him. Most of it landed in front of the other Doc.”

Viridia: “...so, what happened?”
Doc: “I found Moonshadow lying in a pool of blood and Flagon telling me he shot her. Before that... dunno. Stellar had left a while earlier to investigate prior gunfire.”
Stellar: “The first gunshot was Flagon's friends neglecting their gun safety.”

Doc: “Stay with me, soldier. Enclave didn't raise no sissy!”

Stellar: “Stellar moves up to the sleeping mare and stamps the floor in front of her face. And if that doesn't work she'll be getting an electric shock in the rump.”

Cassidy: “So, are you taking us to the doctor who probably killed our doctor, or the doctor who we were going to steal from?”
Stellar: “Oh no, that was me. Doc Wagon just shot him a little.”
Doc: “How to intimidate two NPCs and downplay a teammate in one line.”
Stellar: “Terrified of me is better than terrified of their doctor.”
Doc: “They might take it as the doctor being harmless.”
Stellar: “More fool them!”
Doc: “Except that he kind of is at the moment.”
Viridia: “Don't be so hard on Doc. His kill:death ratio is fantastic.”

GM: “Best bet is probably to aim for the head, where most don't have armor unless specifically stated otherwise. Of course, that's incredibly unhelpful advice when it comes to using guns in general.”

[goto124]

Doc's clone is now dead.

[Doc can add Flagon's Lower Jaw to his inventory.]

I don't seem to understand the last quote though. Is it because it's harder to actually land a shot on the head?

[Cristo Meyers]

Doc's clone is now dead.

[Doc can add Flagon's Lower Jaw to his inventory.]

I don't seem to understand the last quote though. Is it because it's harder to actually land a shot on the head?

Significantly.

Landing a shot, at range, on someone's chest can be difficult enough. The head is much smaller.

Basically the only reliable way to shoot someone in the head is to press the gun to their temple.

[goto124]

That's IRL. FO:E (and Fallout) mechanics are different I imagine.

Should've looted Flagon's Pipboy! Or is it Pipbuck?

[DigoDragon]

Doc's clone is now dead.

I'm still a tiny bit sad that Flagon died so quickly, and not by Doc's actions. Nothing came of the fact he and Doc Wagon looked alike.
Missed story opportunities I guess.

[Doc can add Flagon's Lower Jaw to his inventory.]

Um... eww?

I don't seem to understand the last quote though. Is it because it's harder to actually land a shot on the head?

Significantly.
Landing a shot, at range, on someone's chest can be difficult enough. The head is much smaller.

In game terms, there is a -30% penalty to hit the head with a ranged weapon. That is a significant amount that is not easily compensated for. The highest bonus Doc can muster from an Aim action is about 21%.

Should've looted Flagon's Pipboy! Or is it Pipbuck?

Viridia got his sweet hat and Stellar has the pipbuck and his weapon. Doc and Moonshadow are the only two who have yet to gain any loot from this.

[goto124]

Strawberry: "His hat is sweet? Can I eat it?"

I like what's happening to Flagon now though

Stealth check: [roll]1d100[/roll]

Whoops, looks like dice rolls don't work outside the PbP section. Does that count as a fail?

[AdmiralCheez]

Just looking at those names makes my head hurt.

I once named the villain Illithid in a D&D campaign as "Lord Skl'skith Sk'eth" or something like that. Players didn't even try and nicknamed him "Lord Squiggle-f***". Did not endear the villain to them. At all. XD

Normally our DM gives us a hard time when we don't remember important NPC names, but with the Kuo-Toa, not even he can keep them straight. So, every time a name comes up, the session turns into a scat song.

The worst part is we have all of the names written down in the officially published campaign setting, but no one wants to go through the hassle of trying to pronounce them correctly!

[DigoDragon]

Strawberry: "His hat is sweet? Can I eat it?"

I like what's happening to Flagon now though

Strawberry did want the hat... but yes, she's a hilarious druggie.

Whoops, looks like dice rolls don't work outside the PbP section. Does that count as a fail?

Probably?

Normally our DM gives us a hard time when we don't remember important NPC names, but with the Kuo-Toa, not even he can keep them straight. So, every time a name comes up, the session turns into a scat song.

The worst part is we have all of the names written down in the officially published campaign setting, but no one wants to go through the hassle of trying to pronounce them correctly!

Official modules seem to have stranger names than most anything else. I guess being paid to write them means actually looking up obscure words! I just try not to get that far into names. If I can't remember it 15 minutes later, I know my players won't. :3

[RCgothic]

In game terms, there is a -30% penalty to hit the head with a ranged weapon. That is a significant amount that is not easily compensated for. The highest bonus Doc can muster from an Aim action is about 21%.

To clarify, to hit someone in the head with a ranged weapon is -30 to your skill and in this system you need to roll under your skill to hit. At this stage of the game, unless you've gone all-in on guns skill, you probably have about a skill of 60. Thus aiming for the head halves your chances.

It's less difficult for Stellar because in Melee all to-hit penalties are halved. And as thanks to weapon special rules and perks most of her damage happens when she rolls under 40 anyway, she tends to go for head shots because it doesn't cost her much if her miss is in the 40-65 range.

[DigoDragon]

At this stage of the game, unless you've gone all-in on guns skill, you probably have about a skill of 60.

It's worse than that for Doc; his gun skill is only a 45 because he's thrown a lot of skill points behind Medicine and now Science. On the other hoof, that investment has really saved the team (and many NPCs) several times over, so it is a valuable investment. Doc just needs some equipment to catch up in the combat skill category.

[GrayGriffin]

This Celestia isn't a pony, is she?

She is. This is from a semi-crack side RP featuring me and The Other Pony Fan in the group.

[ZeroGear]

From the first Alpha Test of my own system that uses a playing-card generator mechanic (instead of dice):

"...being a horny teenager."
"Well, APART from being a horny teenager..."

"~I'm a lumberjack, and I'm oookay~!"

"So voodoo or Santeria or..."
"The voodoo that you do!"

"A kodak camera comes flying at you."
"Now that's what I call a Kodak moment."

"Were they blinking? I had TVs blinking at me today."
"I HAD BODIES! Cold, blank bodies."

"There's costumes or animatronics or SOMETHING that will kill us!"
"I'm perfectly sane. My mother had me tested."

"We'll probable be beaten to death by [adult toys]."

"Burn the building down!"
"We're still inside!"

"The shelf fell down, so it can't get back up to get us."
"Wanna bet?"
*beat*
"No."

"Do you continue to resist?"
"Um...no."

"It's dark inside [the room]."
"[The light-switch] is beside the door."
"I don't want to reach in!"

"I'm not dying! Not dying!"

"Then there's nothing sacred! Not even clothing!"

"Is there an AP system..."
"PA system."

"So there's a microphone I can..."
"ATTENTION KMART SHOPPERS!"

---

Form a CoC game I played

"Optimus Prime is not Jesus!"

"Did you hear something?"
"No."
"No."
"No."

"You going to force the door?"
"I'm standing ready with the shotgun."
"I'm standing behind the guy with the shotgun."

"The ground starts to shake."
*Everyone simultaneously* "Wesley!"

"You know the puzzle-box because Ryan has been obsessing over the Hellraiser series. He was also gloating about winning an exact replica [of the puzzle-box] on Ebay."
*Everyone facepalms*

"I just hears 'Dan Radcliffe's delicious a**hole'."

"You shove the keyhole though the eyeball."

"YOU'RE GOING TO TRUST A GUY WITH NO SKIN??!!"

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses!

Show

She is. This is from a semi-crack side RP featuring me and The Other Pony Fan in the group.

Neat!! :D

"Burn the building down!"
"We're still inside!"

This does not stop some.

---

Gizmo: “We are going to need sonar, und sextants. Heh. Funny word. Sextants.”

Autumn: “And I know a lot about beating bushes.”
George Takei: “Oh myyyyy.”

Gizmo: “Princess Sparklebutt has Spike, Past has Calamity, and Gizmo has Autumn. Why must there be a force that hinders us eggheads?”
Reuben: “Does Spike really hinder Twilight that much, you think?”
Gizmo: “I count snarky comments and quick asides as hindering.”

Reuben: “Gang, are you pondering what I'm pondering?”
Gizmo: “Maybe, but how are going to get fifty seahorses to ride jet skis?”

Reuben: “I think this comparison is breaking down slightly. Or maybe you're just trying to get Gizmo shipped with the white-haired beauty.”
GM: “Would that be the ancient monster dragon in this case?”
Reuben: “Aww snap.”

Morning: “Ever wanted the perfect posterior, but didn't have the time on your hooves to work out? Well, Morning Star is here with her miraculous PLOT-BUSTING SPELL, guaranteed to give you the most radiant rump you could ever hope for! Whether you want big buns or a petite patootie, Morning Star's PLOT-BUSTING SPELL can do all you need!”