Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition IV: Just what Doc Ordered

[goto124]

Spoiler: Digo

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Spoiler: Responses!

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That is... one heck of a birthday party.




Does Gray have a chart? You know it's serious businesswhen they actually write out a shipping chart.




A little bigger than a cow. :3

---

Viridia: “...River is going to get a short, sharp visit from the smack fairy.”

Viridia: “Have the party in generic Japanese gear (Schoolgirl outfit, samurai armor, and so on) with Fan Knife looking on like ‘Filthy Gaijin’.”
GM: “Fan Knife's reaction would likely be more along the lines of 'Roll Initiative'.”
Viridia: “You mean ‘Nyoro~n! Roll initiative desu ne!’”
GM: “In addition, in case anyone thinks of making Stitchheart their waifu, they might need to worry about getting the knifu.”
Viridia: “That significantly shortens one's lifu.”

Stellar: “The thing about paying mercenaries is that you need to pay reasonably. That price is there for your protection! If you get hit you want them to come to your rescue. ‘Damnit, I'm not losing my 500 caps!’ Rather than ‘Huh, there goes my 50 caps.’”

Moon: “Oh, and Moonshadow does not approve of this reckless money spending. She'd be disagreeable about letting the two of them tag along for free, let alone paying them for it.”
GM: “It's a good thing that Cassidy might as well have the phrase 'Element of Reasonability' tattooed on her forehead, then.”

Doc: “You'll like Viridia. She's pretty level-headed and responsible...”
Viridia: “Heh. Oh, wait. You're serious? Let me laugh even harder.”
Doc: “Also, a pretty pegasus.”
Viridia: “The prettiest pegasus.”

Viridia: “Although she seemed to recall Diamond Dazzle being in that area, which probably wouldn't be the best way of gaining allies. ‘Hey baby, we banged at a drugged-up party. Help me take care of my eight-strong entourage?’”

Doc: “We'll need to grab Flagon on the way. I want to put his head on some ice.”
Strawberry: “Oh, hey, we can get his drugs now!”

Did Cassidy ever reveal her cutie mark? Can ponies get more than one cutie mark?

Do tell me about Diamond Dazzle

Wait, which kind of ice? Not Strawberry ice cream, right?

[DigoDragon]

Did Cassidy ever reveal her cutie mark? Can ponies get more than one cutie mark?

Do tell me about Diamond Dazzle

Wait, which kind of ice? Not Strawberry ice cream, right?

I do not believe the GM has mentioned their cutie marks yet, so they're probably still covered by armor or such. I don't think you can get more than one. :3

Diamond Dazzle was a mare Viridia met waaaaay back at Abbaas' party. She did drugs (moon dust I think?) and they had a little bedroom fun. Dazzle told Viridia to stop by her place if she ever passed through Ministry Row.

I hope not. Chilled pony brains doesn't sound like a tasty dessert.

[GrayGriffin]

Does Gray have a chart? You know it's serious business when they actually write out a shipping chart.

Of course I do! Wouldn't be complete without it.

[ZeroGear]

I hope not. Chilled pony brains doesn't sound like a tasty dessert.

As opposed to what, chilled monkey brains?

From some games at a Con I was at:

"You're a fisherman, you know morse code!"

"You win some, you lose some. Are you feeling lucky?"
"I am resolved not to move from this spot."

"Good luck!"
"Said from 10ft away."
"15!"

"Mine's bigger."
"It's not the size that matters."
*Kills 3 mooks*
"...Maybe it is the size that matters."

"I am going to violate that child with my rapier!"

"I need to switch up my god. Apparently I'm not going to be healed if I worship Kanye West."

"Who put that stalagmite there?"

"I'm trying to swim in 3ft of water."

"Oh great, another pointy-eared f***er."

[goto124]

Something something half-elves.

Diamond Dazzle was a mare Viridia met waaaaay back at Abbaas' party. She did drugs (moon dust I think?) and they had a little bedroom fun. Dazzle told Viridia to stop by her place if she ever passed through Ministry Row.

Was that before or after the Reaver thing?

[RCgothic]

Just before. Viridia got lucky skills.

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses!

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Of course I do! Wouldn't be complete without it.

Hee. Now that's pro.

As opposed to what, chilled monkey brains?

One of my cuisine rules is never to eat any part an animal used for thinking. XD

"Mine's bigger."
"It's not the size that matters."
*Kills 3 mooks*
"...Maybe it is the size that matters."

I could see this conversation happen in those D&D games my wife plays in. She'd be the one killing the 3 mooks.

Just before. Viridia got lucky skills.

Luck is one of her skills. :D

---

Doc: "By the way, Stellar, Moon-- I had gotten a message from Nightcore. She might pay us a visit later. Said she had some info for us."
Stellar: “Stellar quirks an eyebrow at that last bit of news. How has Doc gotten news from Oakville?”
Doc: “Night got creative on how to reach us, with Captain Jack's 'special skills'.”
GM: “Strawberry slowly raised a hoof, looking like she was about to say something especially stupid.”

GM: “Cassidy looked confused too, but she wasn't gaping like a fish or anything like that, probably because she wasn't currently on drugs.”
Stellar: “Oh, um. Let me explain... No, there is too much. Let me sum up.” (Sums up the entire campaign adventure to date)
Doc: “Ah Stellar. When Doc needs to dance around a bush to paint his group in a good light so as not to cause concern or paranoia in potential allies, leave it to Stellar to set that bush on fire.”

Doc: “You gonna be alright, or did we scare you with our past adventures?”
Cassidy: “I'm just trying to figure out who in this city you haven't managed to antagonize.”
Moon: “A Reaver believe it or not. Apparently the main group did not appreciate the public image the one we fought was giving the ghoul community.”
Doc: “Yeah. The one that delivered the bounty said as much. So, brownie points for us with the Reaver faction.”

[goto124]

But... what was Strawberry about to say?

[ZeroGear]

"Ok, you need to take a left here."
"I can't take a left, it's a one-way street."
"But you need to take a left."
"I want to, but I can't. All the steets are one-way!"
"But we need to turn left!"
"What the hell do you think I'm trying to do!"
"Turn left?"
"I'M TRYING!"

[DigoDragon]

But... what was Strawberry about to say?

Dunno, she never said it. I imagine it was going to be dumb though. she's still out of her mind from the drug high she came off of.

[Necroticplague]

DM: Wow. I never knew it was possible for this to happen, but you've managed to overflow the sinfullness scale to it wraps right around to sainthood. It's like every one of your sins cancels out a different one.

AI: Technically, I'm not self aware. I just act like I am.
Gene: What's the difference?
AI: And that's one for philosophers to argue over.

[DigoDragon]

Gizmo: “Guess who is hunting a lost treasure in a forgotten city? Me. Your rival, Doctor.......no that sounds stupid. Professor Stien. Much better.”

GM: “Oh look. Those consequences are here early. Probably should have mentioned that.”
Reuben: “Uh oh.”

Autumn: “Well that was weird. I'm going for my evening flight. And if that happens to take me past Calamity's window, then that would just be coincidence, right?”

Autumn: *Spies on Calamity – Rolls a 20*
Reuben: “She’s like an Autumn breeze.”
Gizmo: *Whistle* “Dem wings.”
Autumn: “I am a leaf on the wind! Watch how I soa- uh, on second thought, walking is fine.”

Gizmo: #Possession, #CalledIt

GM: “[Calamity’s] wide, purple spheres have been seemingly replaced with decidedly un-ponylike eyes, with crimson irises that match the dark red aura around her and thin, vertical, almost reptilian pupils.
Autumn: “NOT. GOOD.”
GM: “Feel free to hand wave Autumn returning into the car so she can tell her friends about this at the beginning of your next post. The rest of you, feel free to panic.”

[ZeroGear]

"I examine the bodies."
"Heal check to determine c.o.d."
"16."
"You can't tell much from the skeletons, aside from the fact that they appear to have cracks in their pelvic bones."
"Interese."
"Also, they seem to be cracked from the inside."
"Ok...wierd."

*Later*

"A dark shadow looms at the end of the hallway. The monstrous form of a beastly creature lurches into view."
"That sounds bad. What does it look like?"
"Large, bulbous, with one malicious eye and oily black skin. You can hear wet slapping sounds as it pulls itself along the ground with long. Grasping tentacles."
"Wait, what was that last part?"
"That it has Long, Grasping, Tentacles?"
*girly screams of horror as entire group flees back down the hallway collectively yelling "NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!"*

[Necroticplague]

"I examine the bodies."
"Heal check to determine c.o.d."
"16."
"You can't tell much from the skeletons, aside from the fact that they appear to have cracks in their pelvic bones."
"Interese."
"Also, they seem to be cracked from the inside."
"Ok...wierd."

*Later*

"A dark shadow looms at the end of the hallway. The monstrous form of a beastly creature lurches into view."
"That sounds bad. What does it look like?"
"Large, bulbous, with one malicious eye and oily black skin. You can hear wet slapping sounds as it pulls itself along the ground with long. Grasping tentacles."
"Wait, what was that last part?"
"That it has Long, Grasping, Tentacles?"
*girly screams of horror as entire group flees back down the hallway collectively yelling "NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!"*

Ow. Never before has mere implication made me physically cringe this much.
Incidentally, it's the rest of the description that seals the deal more than the tentacles. One-eyed, bulbous, wet slapping....

[ZeroGear]

Ow. Never before has mere implication made me physically cringe this much.
Incidentally, it's the rest of the description that seals the deal more than the tentacles. One-eyed, bulbous, wet slapping....

It's always better when the PCs let their own imagination be their worst enemy.

[Anonymouswizard]

Priest: to be fair, taking an elf *points to shadowdancer* and two humans *points to self and alchemist* anywhere is a bad idea.
Dwarf Engineer: hey!

[GrayGriffin]

Fern: "What kind of human courting ritual is this?"
Coriander: "It's a pun."

[Diachronos]

"Why would you take 'attempted murder'? Not only does that mean that you're evil, it means you suck!"

"The most evil think I can think of, and I made a lawyer."
"I think he really did go off the deep end, Dan."

[Inevitability]

Me: Don't take it seriously; it's a satire.
Player: A satyr?
Me: Yes, a satire.
Player: A satyr? Really?
Me: Yes! It's a satire!
Player: Okay, I'm lost.

[goto124]

How was the confusion eventually cleared up?

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses!

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It's always better when the PCs let their own imagination be their worst enemy.

For real. :D That was thehighlight of my time running Expedition to Castle Ravenloft. I had put together some lovely descriptions of sounds and shadowy sights. Few if any were from actual monster/undead encounters. Those that were though...

Me: Don't take it seriously; it's a satire.
Player: A satyr?
Me: Yes, a satire.

Haha, I love where this is going.

---

Strawberry: (Cradling Flagon’s head) “Alas, poor Flagon! I knew him well!”
Doc: “Yes, a pony of infinite jerk, of most excellent dumbass.”

Viridia: “If they do have a skywagon, can we fly over the radiation?”
GM: “You would be able to avoid most of it.”
Moon: “So much for Fan Knife's secret plan to turn Viridia into a ghoul.”

GM: “Doc could see Flagon's pistol laying on the ground, although the stallion was laying on top of it, at the moment.”
Doc: “This a different gun than the one Stellar looted?”
GM: “...What gun? Ah, wait, there was some sort of duplication bug with Flagon's items. The next patch should fix it.”
Viridia: “The gun is his p****.”
GM: “Spoiler alert: Flagon's already had cyber-surgery.”
Viridia: “Doc ‘Hot Load’ Flagon.”

Doc: “To quote the GM, ‘I think the party getting completely plastered after a fight should be a party tradition.’”
Viridia: “Won't make us vulnerable at all.”
Doc: *Shoots opponent in the leg, opponent falls over helpless*
Stellar: "Nice shooting!"
Doc: *slurred words* "I was aiming for his head."

Viridia: “A very accurate prediction. If said opponent were a radroach.”
Doc: “Or Strawberry Surprise.”

Moon: “Hmm, Stealth Check. Cool, I passed. Now I've successfully lost track of where I am.”
Stellar: “With Stellar, Doc, Strawberry, Cassidy and the late Dr. Flagon.”
Moon: “Regardless, I'm way too amused by not knowing where my character is.”
Doc: “That means the Vicodin is working.”
GM: “Moonshadow traveled with the rest of the group, and is with Doc and Stellar and the two misfits of the month.”
Moon: “But I wanted to be quantum!” *Rarity-whine*

[cavalieredraghi]

Doc: “To quote the GM, ‘I think the party getting completely plastered after a fight should be a party tradition.’”
Viridia: “Won't make us vulnerable at all.”
Doc: *Shoots opponent in the leg, opponent falls over helpless*
Stellar: "Nice shooting!"
Doc: *slurred words* "I was aiming for his head."

DOC IS JANE NOW!!! hehe i love that.

[PoeticDwarf]

Me: Don't take it seriously; it's a satire.
Player: A satyr?
Me: Yes, a satire.
Player: A satyr? Really?
Me: Yes! It's a satire!
Player: Okay, I'm lost.

I still don't know what a satire is

[PoeticDwarf]

How was the confusion eventually cleared up?

I said after that, how can a satyr ever do that, and Dire said that he means another kind of satyr/satire

[RCgothic]

As Digo, you missed out the other firefly references.

[goto124]

GM: “Doc could see Flagon's pistol laying on the ground, although the stallion was laying on top of it, at the moment.”
Doc: “This a different gun than the one Stellar looted?”
GM: “...What gun? Ah, wait, there was some sort of duplication bug with Flagon's items. The next patch should fix it.”
GM: “Spoiler alert: Flagon's already had cyber-surgery.”

All I have to say about this: Brilliant

[DigoDragon]

DOC IS JANE NOW!!! hehe i love that.

Heh, I wish I was that cool.

As Digo, you missed out the other firefly references.

D'oh, I missed some? Point 'em out to me and I'll add them.

[RCgothic]

Doc: “To quote the GM, ‘I think the party getting completely plastered after a fight should be a party tradition.’”
Viridia: “Won't make us vulnerable at all.”
Doc: *Shoots opponent in the leg, opponent falls over helpless*
Stellar: "Nice shooting!"
Doc: *slurred words* "I was aiming for his head."

After a few:
Stellar: We're not gonna die. We can't die, Viridia. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for Luna to let us die.

Later:
Stellar: You've got the light.. from the console.. keep you, lift you up. They shine like... ...little angels...
Moon: Did she just go crazy and fall asleep?

[Dr TPK]

"So you're saying that feeding PCs and cohorts to a T-Rex so that it goes away with a full belly means that you overcame the challenge and earn XP for it, right?"

[Diachronos]

"We're off to fight the Whispering Way. Care to join us? Gold, glory, b****es..."