Dysfunctional Rules VIII: When General Trumps Specific

[Telok]

Ah, ok. I was wrong. But are there any wizard spells that a wizard can't cast on himself? I mean, Planar Binding would be difficult but I'm sure you could work something out. I'm drawing a blank on spells a wizard is forced to target someone not himself.

[ideasmith]

Ah, ok. I was wrong. But are there any wizard spells that a wizard can't cast on himself? I mean, Planar Binding would be difficult but I'm sure you could work something out. I'm drawing a blank on spells a wizard is forced to target someone not himself.

A quick search turns up six candidates:

Animal Growth

Magic Jar

Planar Binding

Planar Binding, Greater

Planar Binding, Lesser

Stone to Flesh

[Inevitability]

A dysfunction that doesn't seem to have been listed yet: the description of Stone to Flesh says it can be used to turn a stone golem into a flesh golem. However, its target line seems to prohibit targeting a stone golem, unless you assume said monster occupies an area with a volume of 30 cubic feet.

[illyahr]

A dysfunction that doesn't seem to have been listed yet: the description of Stone to Flesh says it can be used to turn a stone golem into a flesh golem. However, its target line seems to prohibit targeting a stone golem, unless you assume said monster occupies an area with a volume of 30 cubic feet.

And yet, the Stone Golem entry simply says that stone to flesh temporarily negates the stone golem's damage reduction and magic immunity.

[The Viscount]

I had always understood that as you require 2 castings of stone to flesh. One negates the magic immunity, the second turns it to flesh.

[Bohandas]

Forgive me, but does "Sonic" not mean "Of, pertaining to, or at the speed of, sound"? Sure, it's not a spell with the [Sonic] tag, but it is a spell pertaining to sound.

I think it just means "pertaining to sound" in general

[Debatra]

A dysfunction that doesn't seem to have been listed yet: the description of Stone to Flesh says it can be used to turn a stone golem into a flesh golem. However, its target line seems to prohibit targeting a stone golem, unless you assume said monster occupies an area with a volume of 30 cubic feet.

It has to "fit within" that area, not occupy the entire space.

[Telok]

Animal Growth: Shapechange can change type so it's possible to make this work, but normally it will be impossible due to they creature type restriction.

Magic Jar: The target here is 'one creature', but the text is written from the point of the caster targeting himself. There appears to be no restriction then on casting Magic Jar on another person and having them receive the benefits of the spell. Specifically here the target is not the victim of the spell but the person who is initally transferred to the gem and can then possess victims.

Planar Binding (all): These are again type limits with an additional hit die limit. Nothing prevents a caster with the outsider or elemental type from binding themselves. Although a caster of 6 or fewer hit dice will need to use a scroll or other magic item for Lesser Planar Binding.

Stone to Flesh: I think this is the winner but only because being petrified is rather difficult to get around.

I think it's probably pretty possible for almost every spell a wizard can cast to be cast by the wizard on himself (Stone to Flesh may be the best exception).

[Troacctid]

It has to "fit within" that area, not occupy the entire space.

Stone golems are large-size, so they don't fit within that area.

[Malimar]

I think it's probably pretty possible for almost every spell a wizard can cast to be cast by the wizard on himself (Stone to Flesh may be the best exception).

There must be at least one spell somewhere with "object" and not "creature" in the target line. I can't think of any (shatter occurred to me, but the wizard could be a crystalline creature), but I bet they exist.

[Bucky]

Teleport Object can't affect creatures and also explicitly "teleports an object, not you."

[Telok]

Teleport Object can't affect creatures and also explicitly "teleports an object, not you."

Shrink Item might qualify too. That shrunken canoe was bloody useful today.

[ideasmith]

I was making a list of “spells a wizard is forced to target someone not himself”. I was also assuming that an object does not count as “someone”. If I had been including ‘object-only’ wizard spells, I might have included:

Animate Dead
Animate Rope
Arcane Lock
Continual Flame
Create Undead
Darkness
Daylight
Explosive Runes
Fabricate
Fire Trap
Flame Arrow
Gentle Repose
Grease
Hold Portal
Identify
Illusory Script
Instant Summons
Keen Edge
Knock
Light
Mage Hand
Magic Aura
Magic Weapon
Magic Weapon, Greater
Mending
Obscure Object
Open/Close
Phantom Trap
Rope Trick
Secret Chest
Secret Page
Shrink Item
Soul Bind
Stone Shape
Teleport Object

[ShurikVch]

Dragon #304, "Prestige Races" article:

Ember Creature [Flame]

Ember creatures have discovered how to fan the flame within them; they have learned how to draw upon its inherent power in order to reacts with speed and precision. An ember creature's skin becomes opaque, dark, and cracked, with the vague hints of a smoldering fire lying deep beneath its surface. All of the hair on an ember creature's body falls away or vanishes in a puff of acrid smoke, and its eyes darken, leaving only two tiny pinpricks of gleaming light.

Prerequisites: Kindled Creature, Sculpt Self feat.

Benefit: The creature gains fire resistance 10 and the ability to cast produce flame at will as a 3rd-level sorcerer.

Produce Flame isn't a Sorcerer's spell

[Forrestfire]

While that is true, sorcerers can use "unusual spells that the sorcerer has gained some understanding of by study." The two messy rules cancel each other out to get a functional one.

[ShurikVch]

While that is true, sorcerers can use "unusual spells that the sorcerer has gained some understanding of by study." The two messy rules cancel each other out to get a functional one.

But which level will be sorcerer's produce flame?
2nd?
1st?
Maybe, 0th?

[Inevitability]

While that is true, sorcerers can use "unusual spells that the sorcerer has gained some understanding of by study." The two messy rules cancel each other out to get a functional one.

When two dysfunctions touch each other, they both transform into pure energy. This is called the law of inversed RAW-functionality.

[Flickerdart]

But which level will be sorcerer's produce flame?
2nd?
1st?
Maybe, 0th?

It can't be 2nd, because a 3rd level sorcerer would not be able to cast it. So it must be 1st or 0th. Since it's 0th for nobody, but 1st for druids, we can assume the same is true of sorcerers.

[Inevitability]

It can't be 2nd, because a 3rd level sorcerer would not be able to cast it. So it must be 1st or 0th. Since it's 0th for nobody, but 1st for druids, we can assume the same is true of sorcerers.

A 3rd-level sorcerer would be able to cast it with Precocious Apprentice, though.

[Flickerdart]

A 3rd-level sorcerer would be able to cast it with Precocious Apprentice, though.

Sure, but it doesn't say "cast produce flame as a 3rd level sorcerer with Precocious Apprentice." Or a 3rd level kobold sorcerer with Greater Draconic Rite of Passage or Versatile Spellcaster or whatever.

[Inevitability]

Perhaps not dysfunctional, but quite weird. A chaos beast can use its corporeal instability ability on another chaos beast, which writhes in pain and crawls around blindly for a minute or so, then dies and becomes... a chaos beast.

[No brains]

Perhaps not dysfunctional, but quite weird. A chaos beast can use its corporeal instability ability on another chaos beast, which writhes in pain and crawls around blindly for a minute or so, then dies and becomes... a chaos beast.

I thought chaos beasts were supposed to weird and miserable all the time and this perfectly explains why they are always solitary. This is another one of those weird weirdness inversions that ends up not weird.

[Troacctid]

Chaos beasts are protected from other chaos beasts' corporeal instability by their immunity to transformation. No dysfunction.

[Inevitability]

Chaos beasts are protected from other chaos beasts' corporeal instability by their immunity to transformation. No dysfunction.

Immunity to transformation takes a free action to use, though. If we render a chaos beast unconscious for a minute (there's poison that does this) it can't revert to its original shape while it melts away.

[ShurikVch]

Certain Special Attacks poorly interact with Size change of base creature

Swallow Whole
While general rules for this SA sound sensible enough,

Unless otherwise noted, the opponent can be up to one size category smaller than the swallowing creature.

some monsters have RAW which list explicit size categories - such as Legendary Shark:

A legendary shark can swallow a Large or smaller creature

Sure, grapple rules - in general - prevent swallowing creatures of much bigger sizes, but it can be countered in some cases: for example, Half-Ogre Anthropomorphic Legendary Shark with Hulking Brute feat (Dragonlance Campaign Setting) will be able (even if Minute Form shrunk it down to Fine size) to grapple and Swallow Whole any "Large or smaller creature"

And it gets even better
Some Vermins (such as Hoard Scarab, Worm of Kyuss, or Ember Spawn) are able to burrow into other creatures
This ability is completely independent of Size category - even "as is" they already able to burrow into creature of the same size category as they are
But what if this vermin somehow got bigger - say, because of application of Titanic (or Kaiju) template?
They still able, by RAW, to burrow into creature of any size, and stay inside until either they want out or host is dead
(Also, in case of Symbiotic Creature template, Vermin guest will grant it's burrow SA to the host - even if the host is dinosaur)

[Inevitability]

(Also, in case of Symbiotic Creature template, Vermin guest will grant it's burrow SA to the host - even if the host is dinosaur)

Firstly, a dinosaur typically can't be a host because it only has 2 intelligence.

That said: a similar case is the Giant Leech. It's undetectable if attacking from water a few feet deep, and its giant host shares the ability with it.

[ShurikVch]

Firstly, a dinosaur typically can't be a host because it only has 2 intelligence.

Since when being a host have anything to do with intelligence?
Symbiotic Creature template is legal for animals (who are all Int 2 or 1) and Vermin (mindless)

[Inevitability]

Since when being a host have anything to do with intelligence?
Symbiotic Creature template is legal for animals (who are all Int 2 or 1) and Vermin (mindless)

Could've sworn it said something along those lines, huh.

[No brains]

Maybe this isn't a true dysfunction, but it's weird to me that of all apparel, only full plate needs to be resized to fit its wearer. This would still apply if you captured the armor of your identical twin. This would not apply if your body was transformed (but maybe if your type changed).

[The Viscount]

Here's a basic one I should have caught sooner.

Soulknife gains Weapon Focus (Mind Blade) as a bonus feat at level 1. They gain Greater Weapon Focus (Mind Blade) at level 9.
Unfortunately at level 1 the Soulknife lacks a +1 BA, so cannot gain the benefit until level 2. They can't gain the benefit of Great Weapon Focus at all, since they lack the ability to count as a fighter.

Less dysfunctionally but still annoyingly, Soulknife gains Speed of Thought as a bonus feat at level 6, which requires Wis 13. Soulknife has no reason to have Wis 13.