Valentine's Day suggestions plz

[Lheticus]

I'd like some suggestions on what to do for my boyfriend for Valentine's Day. We are in a healthy long distance internet relationship, anyone commenting to the effect of poo-pooing internet romances or insulting same sex relationships will be summarily ignored at best. I like doing extremely romantic, dare I say cheesy even, things, and he doesn't mind it once in a while either, just keep in mind my limited options.

[Crow]

Send him a pineapple.

[AMFV]

Order flowers over the internet, they come in the mail, and can be pretty amazing. That's almost always a winner.

[Jaycemonde]

Send him a machete and a box full of chocolates. Keep him guessing.


As for people insulting same-sex relationships, I'm happy to say that this is one of the few places on the Internet where that's not only frowned upon, but generally an actionable offense. Not enough places like this.

[Douglas]

As for people insulting same-sex relationships, I'm happy to say that this is one of the few places on the Internet where that's not only frowned upon, but generally an actionable offense. Not enough places like this.

Indeed. Allow me to point out the Hate Speech entry in the Forum Rules, and which section it's in.

As for the thread topic, I'm afraid the first idea that came to mind is logistically difficult for long distance.

[Lheticus]

Order flowers over the internet, they come in the mail, and can be pretty amazing. That's almost always a winner.

I was really more hoping for something that would...ugh, how do I put this. Something that I can express using the internet rather than just ordering something with it.

Also, I'm pretty sure he isn't really a flowers person.

[Jaycemonde]

You could get two copies of a game you'd like playing together. If you're zombie fans, Dying Light's getting a huge new content update soon.

[McStabbington]

Well, what does he like? Is there anything that he's been trying to get that he hasn't been able to?

I don't know you or your boyfriend, but I do know people, and I know gift giving. And by far the best gifts are those small little niggling things that hit the perfect sweet spot between "important enough to actually invest the necessary time to get no matter the cost" and "aren't going to bug me." So, just for instance, I've got a character in a WoD campaign right now who is a) in Rome during the early days of the Pax Romana and b) is supposed to be well-versed in the popular philosophy of the day. This means that functionally, this character would know her Plato, know her Stoic philosophers, and she would know her Cicero. I've read De Officiis before, I know roughly what it says, but I haven't been able to get a new copy to brush up on. I haven't seen it in any of the book stores I've been browsing, it's not actually that common any more, and as a personal quirk I tend to just not use online vendors like Amazon. It's stupid, but I just hate having to keep passwords and usernames printed down somewhere and constantly refer to them.

So supposing I had a girlfriend, if that girlfriend got me flowers or something, I'd appreciate the sentiment, and yeah, it's pretty much a given that I have to be up for sex that night if she's in the mood, but it wouldn't strike me as a deep, significant gesture. If she got me a copy of Cicero, it would show that she's actually listening to the small stuff that bugs me, which means that she cares. Which in turn means she's awesome, even though in all probability the only thing she did was use her own Amazon account to just buy a copy of the book.

So here's the question then: is there anything like that you could get your boyfriend?

[StorytellerHero]

If you're having something delivered by mail, I'd avoid anything that has a potential expiration date or is vulnerable to weather.

Chocolates for example can melt or change flavor drastically depending on the environmental temperature that it is carried through.

[lio45]

Is showing up unannounced for a weekend really that out of the question...?

Otherwise, as some have pointed out already, it's pretty much impossible to suggest non-generic stuff (flowers) since we don't know anything about the guy.

[StorytellerHero]

Ooh just realized that if they have an internet connection they could meet for a date online in a MMO game.

If I had to recommend a free game for this, it would be Lucent Heart, touted as a dating MMO.

If money is not an issue, then Final Fantasy XIV's world would be an awesome place to go for a MMO date, since the art is beautiful for the landscapes.

That might be romantic.

[Starwulf]

Order flowers over the internet, they come in the mail, and can be pretty amazing. That's almost always a winner.

I was really more hoping for something that would...ugh, how do I put this. Something that I can express using the internet rather than just ordering something with it.

Also, I'm pretty sure he isn't really a flowers person.

I'm not gay, but I imagine even if I was, I still wouldn't want flowers, and I also imagine that would hold true for the majority of males on this planet, gay or not.(This of course excludes those who are specifically interested in flowers/plants in general)

Ooh just realized that if they have an internet connection they could meet for a date online in a MMO game.

If I had to recommend a free game for this, it would be Lucent Heart, touted as a dating MMO.

If money is not an issue, then Final Fantasy XIV's world would be an awesome place to go for a MMO date, since the art is beautiful for the landscapes.

That might be romantic.

That is absolutely brilliant, and I back that suggestion 100%, right down to FFXIV(or FFXI as well, which also has some very beautiful zones, Beaucedine Glacier being one of them)

[Jaycemonde]

Ooh just realized that if they have an internet connection they could meet for a date online in a MMO game.

If I had to recommend a free game for this, it would be Lucent Heart, touted as a dating MMO.

If money is not an issue, then Final Fantasy XIV's world would be an awesome place to go for a MMO date, since the art is beautiful for the landscapes.

That might be romantic.

This might not be viable since it takes so long to get everything set up the way you like it and there's literally hundreds of thousands of base avatars (to say nothing of actual accessories) to pick from--yay, 100% user-run content creation--but y'all could always do a date in SecondLife or something. Go to one of those secluded-couples sims or hang out in a music club.

[NekoMancer657]

Maybe you could try to set up a Skype date?
It really depends on both you & your boyfriend and the expectations involved. For example, a dinner date online can be hard to manage and generally excludes the iconic romantic options.
A serenade is a possibility, though I'd lean more towards a slideshow of your time together (with musical accompaniment) myself.

None of which requires ordering anything online.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

[golentan]

Umm... There are... toys that are remotely useable, if you are interested in an interactive video date you could send him one.

As a suggestion.

[Scarlet Knight]

I'm not gay, but I imagine even if I was, I still wouldn't want flowers, and I also imagine that would hold true for the majority of males on this planet, gay or not.(This of course excludes those who are specifically interested in flowers/plants in general)

There is only one plant to give a guy: a Venus Fly Trap. THAT is a plant for men , even those without botany degrees.

If he likes musicals; tell him it's name is Audrey....

[veti]

I'm not gay, but I imagine even if I was, I still wouldn't want flowers, and I also imagine that would hold true for the majority of males on this planet, gay or not.(This of course excludes those who are specifically interested in flowers/plants in general)

I'm not so sure. Most men I've discussed this with, which is a surprisingly large number considering, say they'd love to receive flowers, and are rather resentful of the gender stereotyping that means that almost never happens.

As to the question: how "long-distance" is this relationship exactly? If it's less than 4 hours' travel, I strongly recommend turning up in person. If at all feasible.

[golentan]

Agreed. I like flowers. And even if I were to request a carnivorous plant (which I would because they're the business) I'd go for the much more beautiful Drosera...

Spoiler: AKA

Show

The Sundew:

[TechnOkami]

Tell him how lucky he is to not have to share the crippling loneliness and desperate need for intimacy which comes with not having anyone to really spend Valentine's with on Valentine's day.

[Starwulf]

There is only one plant to give a guy: a Venus Fly Trap. THAT is a plant for men , even those without botany degrees.

If he likes musicals; tell him it's name is Audrey....

Ahhh, I loved Little Shop of Horror when I was a kid ^^ That's a remake I would love to see!

[veti]

Ahhh, I loved Little Shop of Horror when I was a kid ^^ That's a remake I would love to see!

Why, what's wrong with the existing version?

[lio45]

Tell him how lucky he is to not have to share the crippling loneliness and desperate need for intimacy which comes with not having anyone to really spend Valentine's with on Valentine's day.

LOL, unfortunately that doesn't suffice as an acceptable Valentine's Day gift for the typical girl -- far from it.

[Siosilvar]

LOL, unfortunately that doesn't suffice as an acceptable Valentine's Day gift for the typical girl -- far from it.

Considering we're not looking for a Valentine's Day gift for a girl, let alone a "typical" one...

[Erloas]

Yeah, without knowing anything of the situation it is hard to really say. A skype date might be great, but if you use skype all the time then it is nothing. Same with meeting in an MMO, ignoring the fact that you'll have to tell him ahead of time to download a probably massive download, if you're already playing a MMO together it wouldn't mean much.

If you both play games together online then a new game would be a good option (buy on steam and gift, easy). But maybe you don't like games at all or at least one of you doesn't have a good enough computer for that.

Considering how specific most people's tastes are, if you want to get something that actually means something, and that is really what romance means, then it is really hard for anyone else to suggest what that might be because we have no idea what he likes.

[lio45]

Considering we're not looking for a Valentine's Day gift for a girl, let alone a "typical" one...

I'm tempted to try to see if I can get away with this "your Valentine's Day gift this year is me, i.e. it's the fact I'm with you". Anyway, I will likely be 1,000+ miles away on Valentine's Day this year.

But if the OP and his bf are both well aware that the former is the "settler" and the latter is the "reacher", then maybe it can be pulled off, with the right attitude. Otherwise, it will just look like a lame attempt to escape having to do something special on Valentine's Day.

[golentan]

I'm tempted to try to see if I can get away with this "your Valentine's Day gift this year is me, i.e. it's the fact I'm with you". Anyway, I will likely be 1,000+ miles away on Valentine's Day this year.

But if the OP and his bf are both well aware that the former is the "settler" and the latter is the "reacher", then maybe it can be pulled off, with the right attitude. Otherwise, it will just look like a lame attempt to escape having to do something special on Valentine's Day.

This speaks to a very craven and manipulative view of relationships, trying to break it into dominance games and social climbing.

I don't think you can get away with it for long unless your partner is similarly misguided. And if so, it will only last until someone better comes along.

[Starwulf]

Why, what's wrong with the existing version?

The fact that it's ancient and hasn't exactly aged all that well, not to mention how much better it would look if they remade it ^^

This speaks to a very craven and manipulative view of relationships, trying to break it into dominance games and social climbing.

I don't think you can get away with it for long unless your partner is similarly misguided. And if so, it will only last until someone better comes along.

Are you reading something entirely different than I am? I really don't see how saying "I'm your gift" is "manipulative" and breaking the relationship down into "dominance games and social climbing".

Hell, me and my wife haven't bought each other anything for valentines day in about 6 years or so. We are "each others gift" essentially.

Honestly I don't really see the point of buying gifts for such an artificial holiday. I show my love to my wife(and she to me) every single day of the year. Valentines Day is absolutely nothing special or different, and it shouldn't be to be frank. If Valentines Day is the only day you consider telling your loved one that you love them, or get them something unexpected(assuming you can afford to do so), then I'd say your entire relationship needs work.(Please note this is not aimed towards Golentan or anyone else on this thread, it is just my general feeling towards Valentines Day).

[lio45]

This speaks to a very craven and manipulative view of relationships, trying to break it into dominance games and social climbing.

I don't think you can get away with it for long unless your partner is similarly misguided. And if so, it will only last until someone better comes along.

Well, last year I can't even recall what we did (we probably went out, but I know I didn't do anything that could qualify as reasonably romantic), and this year, I will likely be away. I was always upfront with the fact that I don't really do cheesy stuff, and I don't see that day as very special. It hasn't been a problem in this relationship so far (1.5 years) and in my past relationships it was at worst a very minor problem (the bar having been set high by a cheesy ex).

The OP, though, seems to want to do something cheesy, so he probably should go ahead, regardless of the dynamics between the two (which may or may not have allowed him the luxury of doing nothing special).

[golentan]

But there's a big difference to my mind between "Valentine's day isn't my thing, I'd rather not do that," and "I'm in a superior social position from my mate and so need not make any effort to impress them." In a relationship context the terms "Settler" and "Reacher" immediately put my teeth on edge. I think immediately of pickup artists, and it gives me an angry twinge.

[Jaycemonde]

I just assumed "settler" and "reacher" were context terms for who moves in with who (or who visits who, at least) in a long-distance relationship. Is that not what it is?