Naruto IX: [Epilogue Intensifies]

[Ramza00]

Oh my Lichemaster!

Madara is practically juumping up beside himself with excitement to fight the First and Hashirama just shuts him down and he has a little sulk. Oh my frack, that's just priceless!

-----

Hashrima creates a load of clones to open wholes to go attack the Ten-Tails - and one to fight Madara...

Who...

Just sists down and sulks because it's not the real one!

Ahahahahahahahaha!

Notice me Senpai! Notice me, for I am Mr. Bloodknight who is totally Chris Pinning for you!

Yeah, they showed that in flashback, but by the time they got to that I'd already just gone "Forth Hokage, that's good enough explanation!"

Remember also that it is the Yin half of the Kyubbi, the half related to stillness principles instead of active principles. Thus in my head cannon it makes sense with how the 4th Hokage actually fights.

yeah, thats kind of the insanity Sasuke went to. none of us really expected it either at the time. but he really did take the wrong lesson away from this, which is "I'm going to become Hokage! despite everyone hating me and I have no legal right or authority to actually make this happen other than the end of my lightning-tipped blade."

I am the Sasuke.
I speak for the Shinobi.
I speak for the Shinobi, for the Shinobi have no tongues.

And I'm asking you sir, at the top of my lungs - that thing!
That horrible thing that I see!
What's that thing you've made out of my ninja society?"

[khadgar567]

You know i cant wait for bleakbane catches up with boruto era. considering he still have kagura era and its damn flashbacks we might hit boruto Shippūden when he finally starts boruto reviews for real.

[Traab]

While yes there will be terrible horrible no good very bad episodes, I admit this set were good ones and there are a number of them in the series. I dont think it gets to the really bad stuff for a few more updates and instead turns into amusing and/or exciting stuff.

[Aotrs Commander]

Whelp, as another one of the highly infrequent and hopelessly untrackable BSoDs killed my mood while replaying (again) C&C Generals (in the last GLA mission) but at a right time, I guess we might as well carry on!



Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

Kakashi vs. Obito

So, Ten-Tails on fire. Naruot is like "dispel that when it weakens so we can get the others out" and Sasuke is like "no."

Honestly... I can't blame him. Wiping out seven of the nine superweapons isn't that terrible an idea (especially for a would be hokage). It's not a good (i.e. alignment) idea, but...

Aaand there we go, Ten-Tails just shoves the bit that was on fire off of itself.

Yep.

Meanwhile, apparently everything Kakashi and Obito have been doing is genjutsu (that's why that whole in him did nothing), so it's time go for it all proper-like.

After a more-or-less jutsu-free badass action sequence, Kakashi really DOES put his lightning blade through Obito's chets this time. And Obito's reaction is more like it.

I mean, he's still not instanlty dead, can talk and stuff, but it's quite clear he's buggered.

So buggered, he's off.

And Madara just goes "righto-doke, then, that didn't work" and disgards Obito like a soiled tissue (such a [Richard] ahaha!) and makes him do a the jutsu to make Madara alive so he can become the Ten-Tails jinchuriki.

Hashirama and Tobimaru lauch a paltry few clones to try and stop him, while Naruto and Sasuke rush to knobble Obito.

But dear old Minato put a harashin seal on Obito during that fiht that one time and beats them to the punch because awesome.

"Well, that was anticlimatic," says Sasuke, thus dooming everyone.

Turns out Obito wrested control away from Madara (who is just sitting all, "eh, it happens" ye gods he's amazing) and becomes Ten-Tails jinchuriki himself.

Well. Bollocks. And there was me thinking "ahaha, sucks to be you Obito, thart's one down."

The Directive to Take the Nine-Tails!

Filler break!

I've been looking forward to this one - Mecha-Naruto. I'm expecting this is going to hilarious...

And we start in good form, with Orochimaru going full-on mad scientist and Doing A Frankenstien.

It goes about as well as you'd expect.

Ten Iatchi finds the thing in the ruins, and brings to Pain, who repairs and adds to orochimaru's epxeriment usng Gedo statue science and sends Itachi off with it to grab Naruto.

This is apparently right in the middle of Naruto's rasenshuriken training period...

The cloaked figure lands in the middle of the vilage and proceeds to kick the excrement out of poor Team Guy. (Dear frag, Tenten got tossed aside like a ragdooll, and we next a shot of her while Lee is talking, upside down at the bottom of the wall with her arse uppermost and prominet. Harsh...)

Naruto appears to save the day, claiming he'll it finish with one attack, 'cos he's busy training.

Then proceeds to summon a bnuch of shadow clones, who only manage in stripping its cloak off.

Ahahahahahahahaha! It looks utterly ridiculous!

And from here, things go from bad to farce.

It starts hoovering up (literally) the Nine-Tails chakra, until Kakashi and Yamato grab him and run off, at which point Mecha-Naruto proceeds to level the surrounding area (in addition to eyebeams, it has rockets) and then bugger off.

Tsunade has a cunning plan. Use Naruto as bait, get it outside the village and blow the frack up.

And.. the plan is to have Naruto and Yamato in a paliquin, carried by Kiba, Neji, Chouji and Shikamaru (poor Shika, this must be way too much like hard work) escorted by Kakashi.

Pahahahahahahahaha!

So the dramtically explode out of the waterfall and leg it down the village. Mecha-Naruto, now using a delta-wing and rocket-power pursues and starts... strafing them with machinegun fingers. Then opens a bomb bay (!) and prepares to guided missile them to death. But Shino leaps in to save the day, fed-up with being left behind again, and launches his bugs it to destroy the missile!

Which then it splits into a load of cluster missiles. Leaving him, Wile E Coyote like, blackened and singed.

Japanese text happens, which is probably some really funny commentary (something like "Shino, bugs: fail" or summat) which I sadly cannot join in the fun of darnit. (Since apparently only on the telly do they bother to subtitle the kanj with English in the dub, which annoys me.)

Mecha-Naruto starts carpet bombing them.

Yamto is very seriously motion-ssick at this point, and vomit in the face is in Naruto's future and it is hilarious.

Shika swaps with Kakashi, as they run for the trees having an idea to take it with shadow. Doging MG fire and hair-rockets (ahahahahaha, far too many weapons, this is ridiculous, I love it!) - apparently, yes, Roachy or Pain made Mecha-Naruto's spikey hair rockets, Shika uses the cover of the expolosion tor grab it! Nice!

It then just detaches its head, completely obviating Shikamaru's shadow strangle, and before Shikamaru's brain can comprehend that his plan failed so utterly, he gets hurled aloft with his own shadow as it blasts off, a la loony toons rope around the foot. The shadow "snaps" and, not content with letting him drop, Mecha-Naruto body slams him into the ground (when Rhodey did it, it crippled him!) and blasts off, laving Shikamaru burined to the waist in the ground, but otherwise unhurt.

Japanese text happens. I'm sure it is probably hilarious.

Tsunade, angrily tells Shizune to call the Sand.



Well, I was so not wrong! Ahahahahahaha!



Naruto vs. Mecha Naruto

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

This episode is pure, concentrated stupid and it is glorious!

Rock Lee's Ninja Pals is looking over and going "dude, steady on..."

Mecha_Naturo jets past our hapless heroes and extends Even More Missile Pods (this thing subscribes to the Megas XLR school of enginering) and blows them off a cliff.

Then is turns itself into a car by extended wheels (because of course) and then a series of rotatig blades. Chouji tries to human boulder it, but it dodges his first attack, Wacky Races style, and then on the second pass croket mallets him out of the episode (Japanese happens).

Kiba furiously attacks it with a two-headed wolf fang-over-fang. Mecha-Naruto just produces a drill, like it is that La gurren show or whatever, counter-rotates him and boom. (Japanese happens.)

It is at this point, Neji is crying (are we SURE that Shippuden didn't get a Ninja Pal episode by mistake...?) and Kakshi realises there is only the two of them carrying the palaquin.

Crash.

Mecha-Naruto then slices the freaking palaquin in half by shooting the rotating blade thingy (yeah, that's gonna help capture the Nine-Tails chakra...!)

Neji steps up, awesome music starts playing, and Mecha-Naruto repeatedly is fended off by Rotation- incuding it's freaking eye beams.

Then, while Kakashi just watches like a moron, Mecha-Naruto is the flash, sprintign around until it overtakes the speed of the rotation (it gets up to what I think was 1200 kph - which is actually MACH ONE at sea level). Neji is sent flying into the air, and drifts down into defeat with his usual grace and dignity. (Japanese happens.)

(Yamato rainbow vomits into orbit while Japanese happens...)

Kakashi legs it with Naruto, passes Naruto to a shadow clone, and then turn to send the wrath of the copy-ninja on Macha-Naruto.

Mecha-Naruto just becomes a sort of approxilately human shape with dozens of rocket launchers, which Kakashi can't copy. Boom. (Japanese happens.)

Why, Orochmaru, if you could create something with THIS MANY missile launchers - seriously, I want to have that technology for the Aotrs - did you not just destroy the leaf...?

Things look bad for Naruto - Mecha-Naruto (it has light-sabres now, by the way) finally speaks (in a ridiculous, squeaky mechanical voice) and demands the Nine-Tails...

But then Gaara shows up, and casually bats Mecha-Naruto away and prepares to crush it in his sand.

(Whle Naruto, providing shipping fuel for the masses, stares at him with heart-shaped eyes and gushes how awesome he is.)

Deidara proceeds to show up, ostensibly to see how things are going, but actually just mocking the frack out of Gaara and rubbing his defeat in his hands. Gaara actually loses his rag and all his professionalism, and chases after him in a furious rage. (Japanese happens.)

(I'm in hysterics by this point.)

Roachy turns up now, using a snake-mouth jutsu to grba Naruto and Mecha-Naruto and popping a hatch to reporgam him back to loyalty to him via a few knobs and switches. Because sure.

But who should poof in but Jiraiya. He accuses Oroachimaru of this being a rip-pff of his toa-mouth jutsu and Orochimaru - to his credit - just goes "yep."

Jiraiya summons Gamabunta, causing the snake to vomit them all out. Orochimaru - surfing on a flying Mecha-Naruto, because he has style if nothing else - makes the snake swallow 'Bunta and the toad-sage and then turn itself inside out and disgest them.

And so Naruto's other mento is uncerimoniously out of the way.

So Naruto has ti fight Mecha-Naruto and loses, but as he's about to be beaten (it goes into a first-stage chakra-cloak mode with flame exhuast instead of chakra tails) Naruto goes on his usual spiel and about portecting everyone and saving Sasuke... And we find out that Itachi - with the sharingarn someone reprogrammed Mecha-Naruto as a test for Naruto tio see if he was worthy to save Sasuke. Or something, I'm past caring at this point, it is Too Stupid, but it's so hilarious that it doesn't matter.

The two gang up on a stunned Roachy - and Mecha-Naruto cuts him in freaking half!

Damn.

Of course, this being Orochimaru, he not only survives this, but does a "screw you" and clicks a snake-shaped (of course) remote in his hand.

Which summons Mecha-Nine-Tails inside the village.

...

Well, I DID ask why he didn't do this earlier. Turns out he did. Point for Orochimaru.

And then Naruto is Ironaruto, becaue Mecha-Naruto becomes a suit. (This MUST have been post Iron-Man, given the visuals.)

Mecha-Nine-Tails is further pulverising the village.

Sakura is crying fro Naruto to come and save them (that seems completely like her character in Shippuden, doesn't it...?)

Naruto appears, and gives her a flower, and tells her to protect it, while he and Mecha-Naruto protect her. (Yeah, that seems like a good use for one of your best medic nin...)

But oh no, Mecha-Nne-Tails is too tough, so after one pass, the only recourse left (yeah, tried really hard there guys...) Mecha-Naruto decides that it must expend all the chakra it took from Naruto on one final attack, but because it's Gedo technology, it's somehow a jinchuriki or whatever, so it will die.

(Bleakbane is banging the floor in hysterics about now.)

It ejects Naruto hundreds of feet in the air (good job these guys are so tough) and then lands, transforming itself into a big cannon. Because of course it can do it. It shoots and boom, the day is saved.

Naruto, in tears, is handed back the flower by Sakura, but no, says Naruto "it wasn't me that saved the village." He says, the shot showing nothing but burning wreckage. "Saved." Pfftahahahahahaha!

Tsunade tells him to go back to training, while Naruto leaves it to her to rebuild the village.

Then everyone else comes running up to thank Naruto, to do tat thing where they throw him up in the air that they didn't do until the end of the Pain arc which hasn't happened yet (and thus would have robbed it of any significance if we were going to treat this with any degree of seriousness).

And then Gaar buries the whole villages under hundreds of feet of sand trying to get to Deidara.

End! (in English.)

Orochimaru, why didn't you like, make more of those? Lots more? I mean, wow.

(Hell, I'd pay you to make a load for the Aotrs, it'd make our War Droids be insane levels of better...)



Well, that was way funnier than the first part, in absurd levels of insanity. It was like the show had been too serious for so long, the release was just too much.

That arc delievered exactly what I was expecting.

Next time, then, we go back to the actual plot...



Edit: Naturally, the ONE TIME I go looking for sub videos, the first things I find are dub... Eventually, I saw a translation of a few of the bit, and I was right-ish, but a pity I wasn't in on the joke.

Also, apparently 7610 on Mecha-Naruto's headband is a Japanese number pun 7 (na) 6 (ro) 10 (to) or something. I did wonder...

[Douglas]

Heh, I'm cracking up just remembering Mecha Naruto. That thing was hilariously silly with utterly WTF levels of ridiculousness, and it positively reveled in it.

[khadgar567]

Heh, I'm cracking up just remembering Mecha Naruto. That thing was hilariously silly with utterly WTF levels of ridiculousness, and it positively reveled in it.

for asmodeus and sareene sake please no considering mecha naruto was puppet with cpu. How much you gents think they can do when you have enough time to perfect that. And this time tech is way beyond the naruto era. we might hit uncanny valley sitiotion in boruto.

[LaZodiac]

New chapter!

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****.

This series is so bad. I have nothing to say about this.

[Ramza00]

New chapter!

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****.

This series is so bad. I have nothing to say about this.

Spoiler

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Plant people are not your thing?

[LaZodiac]

Spoiler

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Plant people are not your thing?

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Not plant people, to be honest I thought the weird reverse IV bag he put the kids in was pretty darkly fascinating and neat.

I meant more Boruto and Kawaki's interactions are basic, boring, dull, and I have no desire to see.

1: Two children pissing
2: NARUTO ON TEH ****ING TOILET

It's just really really REALLY stupid. That's all.

[Aotrs Commander]

Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

After a break enforced by Mum's dog Having An Operation, I finally can get back using the telly again!

And we're back to the midden hitting the windmill...

The Ten Tails' Jinchuriki

Yeah, I'd say it doesn't get worse than this, but it probably does.

Obito basically spends the episode kicking the living frack ut of evryone and basically one-shotting three of the four Kage. And the only reason he didn't go for the full set is because NOW Madara is insisting on his rematch with Hashirama. (Such a [Richard]!)

Minato... The flying frack is a "Spiralling Flash Super Round Dance Howl Style Three?" (I think that's the right version, I had guess fro Narutopeda, since I couldn't even remember all that.)


I laughed when Obito lost control and nearly had his soul torn apart, but then sadly, he pulled himsefl together (literally and metaphorically), right before be basically one-shotted Minato. And started talking again. Shame, I had been at least enjoying the fact he'd shut up for fifteen minutes...

An Opening

A timely save by Tobirama (he might be a frack-tard, but he's pretty cool tactically) - by dint of popping in, teleporting the beast-bomb Obito stuck to Minato and going "here. this is yours."

Didn't do squat though.

Meabwhile, Madara and Hashirama duke it out and give the entire shinobi allied forces performance anxiety until Shikamaru bucks them up.

Bonus points once AGAIN to Ino for her casual "I'mma just connect Shika to everyone" - okay, there are LESS of them now than when Inochi had to do it and they're more concentrated, but he had to doit with a device and nearly cooked his brain, Ino just takes it in stride. I'mma not going to hear anymore of this "Ino is a crap ninja" nonsense, because my frack. (And anyone who doesn't understand how fracking powerful in - basically EVERY other circumstance but this explict one - doesn't know crap,)

Temari, don't say he'd make a good hokage duck, you'll give him a heart attack.

Minato, seriously, the frack is a "Spiralling Flash Super Round Dance Howl Style Three?!"

Nevermind; Naruto, Sasuke, Minato and Tobirama combine to do a hilarious "teleport Obito into the rasanshuriken on amataresu."

Which, sadly, just does jack and squat. Because Obito is now Immune to Ninjutsu. Bollocks.

It is at this point they address what's been bugging me since the start of the episode - Minato's arm hasn't grown back. So, Obito can now just punch through the animation regen. Of course he can. (Whelp, that definitely means all the kages are going down before long, don't it...)

Gamakichi has a parting shot before he has to go but in doing so shows Obito's weakness.

So while Minato - possibly inadvertently - distracts Obito by getting him flashbacking, and then Naruto and Tobirama teleport above him and give him a good smack in the "regenerate this beeaytch" with sage-rasangan.

Hah! They got one good shot in then...

The Day Naruto Was Born

Obito is decided peeved about this, so decides to get nasty, and slaps a barrier up and prepares to detonate four ten-tail beast bombs and kill everyone trapped inside it.

(I mean, I'd hav done that, like, first. But he's easily distracted by trying to prove he's better/More Right than Naruto. I'd say Madara is better than that, but right now, he just wants to beat up Hashirama, so...)

So Naruto just goes "hey, Dad, fist-bump."

And he, Minato and the two Kuramas re-buff all the shinobi and teleport everyone outside the barrier.

Ahahahahahahahahaha!

Nice one Naruto!

That's pretty much it for this episode, as the rest is just Minato going on about Naruo having grown up and such... And again, my suspenstion of disbelief and any kind of tension is completely blown with the unintentionally hilarious scene of Kushna's final farewell speech to Naruto, where she goes on for a bout five minutes without much sign of strain while having a foot wide claw having destroyed her spine, lings and most of her internal organs. It is so frag-damn silly, I can never take that scene seriously.



Next episode, the magic tree arrives. And, from the narration, this is Madaras plan all along, but at the end of the day, it's a friggin' tree and I'm sorry, as an end of level bad guy a magic tree is kind of lame. (Especially whe contrasted to Madara, who I have noted before, is a fricking BRILLIANT bad guy. ) Oh well. Underpants on head fro here-on in...

(To be fair, thus far, it actually pretty-well held up, so I might be wrong, and maybe the execution can pull off the stupid, stupid, stupid concept, but...)

[Traab]

Honestly, I loved this chunk of episodes. Well, minus the flashbacks of course. And yes, his mother is epic and awesome. Even with a claw puncturing all of her organs but her brain at the same damn time. Because them uzumaki are a hardy breed. She just gave birth, had a nine tailed fox ripped out of her, and got impaled on a claw the size of a 50 year old oak tree, and still has time to chat to her baby before dying. BAD. ASS.

Im not sure though, did this set of episodes also cover tobiramas reaction to naruto and his plan? Its some great drama, great action, great humor. As for minato, apparantly thats a thing he does. He creates these awesome justus then gives them the most terrible obnoxious convoluted names possible. Im pretty sure his first name for hirashin was "Funky Hot Lightning Flash Port Thingy No Jutsu Mark 12" Had he invented henge it would be "Nifty Keen Appearance Changer Extreme No Jutsu" Had he been the first man to throw a punch, it would be known as "The Mysterious Movement of the Harsh Upper Limb Crash Down Collision!"

[Aotrs Commander]

Naruto's probably pretty lucky that Kushina had input on his name, as I shudder to think what Minato might have called him otherwise...



(Yeah, Tobirama is suitably impressed - he even SMILED once - at Naruto, and said it was juts like fighting with his brother, ahahaha.)

[Rater202]

I can't remember, was it the first time with the Fox Buff or this time where Kurama-buffed Lee kicks Madara in half?

[Ramza00]

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Not plant people, to be honest I thought the weird reverse IV bag he put the kids in was pretty darkly fascinating and neat.

I meant more Boruto and Kawaki's interactions are basic, boring, dull, and I have no desire to see.

1: Two children pissing
2: NARUTO ON TEH ****ING TOILET

It's just really really REALLY stupid. That's all.

Wait the highpoint of Naruto was not the episode 3 of the anime?







Personally I feel like Boruto is Groundhog Day, a story trapped in the eternal recurrence that will just not move forward 3 years later

[Traab]

I can't remember, was it the first time with the Fox Buff or this time where Kurama-buffed Lee kicks Madara in half?

I... honestly dont recall that happening at all really.

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Now 8 gates gai on the other hand, HE basically kicked madera in half, but it was without fox energy at all, the 8th gate just makes you glow red.

[Rater202]

I... honestly dont recall that happening at all really.

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Now 8 gates gai on the other hand, HE basically kicked madera in half, but it was without fox energy at all, the 8th gate just makes you glow red.

He kicked Rezzed Madara in half, but I distinctly remember a scene of Kurama Boosted Lrr kicking Zombie Madara in half?

[LaZodiac]

He kicked Rezzed Madara in half, but I distinctly remember a scene of Kurama Boosted Lrr kicking Zombie Madara in half?

I'm pretty sure both did it and they're both so similar people don't remember.

[Ramza00]

Lee kicks Madara in half like this.

1) Obito and Madara are controlling the ten tails and is killing the shinobi army like flies due to its overwhelming power. Power that is more than the 8 tails and 9 tails can handle and more than combination attacks of the shinobi army can handle.
2) Naruto runs out of Chakra juice (temporarily)
3) Neji dies defending Naruto from another Ten Tails attack (wood stakes)
4) Naruto regains Chakra and gives people Chakra cloak
5) Due to team work and chakra cloak they are able to sever both Obito and Madara's connection to the ten tails. Obito phases through a rasenshrukein but his umblical cord to the ten tails is destroyed by the rasenshuriken.
6) At the very same time Lee kicks through Edo Madara.

This is very early in the Final War / Ten Tails arc for it is beast Ten Tails being controlled by Edo Madara and Obito. This is prior to the HOkages being summoned by Orochimaru let alone them joining the battlefield, this is prior to the Ten Tails being a Jinchuriki. (Googles) this is manga chapter 617 and anime episode 365.

Remember this is the battle that never ends, remember the same conflict happens in the same crater where Naruto and Bee fought the edo tensai jinchuuriki / six paths of pain and the crater was created when the 8 tails did a spinning attack to get rid of all the trees in the forest for somehow that helped Obito and his Edo Tensai have cover and unobstructed eyesight while Naruto and Bee found it hard to see all their enemies and be situationally aware of the battlefield. Well Tobi and Naruto meeting in the forest was chapter 564 so that means 54 chapters happen in between there. Aka over 1 year of battles in real time that took place in the same exact forest and this was chapter 617 when Lee bisects Madara and the comic goes to chapter 700.

[Aotrs Commander]

Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

On wit' show...

The Divine Tree

After herocially svaing all the ninja, we arte reminded that, despite his power, Naruto is still a dumbass, when the Second has to remind him he can't go charging in without sage chakra...

But nevermind, Kurama says that they can use Nine-Tails chakra and sage mode together now, because Hax, and snd Minato can do as well because, frack it, Minato, and then Tombirama teleports into attack range...

And Obito, once again, no-sells the attack and then evolves the Ten-Tails into its Mega Form as the divine tree.

It's still stupid.

Madara, meanwhile gets on with lecturing Hashirama about the origin of Shinobi, and how humans are humans and they will continue to be humans even if given powers.

(The more fool Madra and Obito, under the impression that isolating humans from each other will stop humans being humans. Even if they ever won, they'd quickly find out that wouldn't work, either, like as not...)

The divine tree proceeds to massecre half the ninja and nearly grab Naruto, draining right out of his brand-new elite form before he could even get a freakin' hit in, if not for the timey save by Sarutobi.

Meanwhile, the Ninja-Nation Forme Exeggutor is charging it's solar luna beam.

Okay, at this point, the constant "and there's another thing" Obito has gotten out of his bottomless bag is starting to get tiresome, especially since it seems like he could have done this and won, like, fifty episodes ago or something...

The stupid part is, if it was Madara (and whe it IS Madara), I don't have a problem with it, because he has charisma and isn't a whiney [expletive]. Madara is so tragically wasted...


A Shinobi's Dream

The Five Kage are finally flying in.

Despite this, Rochy and the Comic Relief arrive first.

And at the point Karin wants to lick Saskue all over, we have officially passed the "haha, funny" into fracking "restraining order and plasma beam" territory.

Meanwhile, the Shinobi forces morale crumbles like Arnold Rimmer faced by an astrophysics exam.

Oh, Tree got Shika. Well. Bugger.

Naruto is starting to crack.

Madara, meanwhile, gleefully explains that the tree won't bloom without eight and nine tails chakra... Which is has, so boom, fifteen minutes.

(I also like how Madara is like "and befoe then, I'mma punt Obito out of the way and take over myself," because, as I have observed so often, Madara is freaking awesome. He's such a jolly fellow, you can't help but be drawn in. He's just having so much fun ending the world. Bless.)

Obito, lording over the despiar (seriously, though why does ANYONE listen to him...) decides to snag some more chakra.

And SASUKE is the one to jump in with a motivating attack.

The First's clone gets Ino (AGAIN, Ino is kunochi of the war, seriously) to link to everyone while Hashirama tries to motivate them.

And then Naruto start sharing is memories and feelings with everyone.

...

Wow. That... That... That's is going to be some pretty potent stuff. I mean, first-hand experience of what Naruto has been through... Wow.

Meanwhile, Saskue and Juugo team up to sage-mode the Susanoo. Rochi is well eexcited by this - and to be fair, that IS how you teamwork, so go Sasuke.

And then Saskue and Naruto, reclaoked with a boost from Dark Kurama, goes to attempt to smash Obito's stupid face in.

Hashorama takes Naruto's cue and dumps his own memores of how he tried to bring peace to the five great nations himself.

Obito, at this points, is like "[expletiving] Naruto, frackin' everything up!" Whihc is satisfyingly amusing.

Pursuing Hope

While Naruto and Sasuke attempt and fail to smash Obito, while he's distracted, the Kage rallies everyone. 'Cos, turns out I was right, after getting a direct sink of Naruto's feelings and all the crap he's been through, everyone is feeling a bit more steel in their spines.

(Aw. look at 'em getting their kunai and shurikens out like it will make a difference. That's cute...)

And as Naruto's determination grows, the dying Shikamaru's beast cloak kicks back to life. Because Naruto's ACTUAL best friend is friggin' awesome and isn't going to quit either, because he needs to keep Naruto in check when he's Hokage right. (Thi was the highlight of the episode for me, actually.)

(No Kiba, not you. I think Shino read Akamaru wrong too, I don't even tink HE thinks you'll make Hokage. Quit trying to be DBZA!Yamcha, dud, it's embarrasing...)

And the kage motivate their minions to attack with varying degrees of success:

"The magic is is tiny comapared to the earth, the land itself is our ally!" Onoki: good.

"As a woman, I don't need to be late into battle like I am with marriage!" Meu... Just... No. No, duck, no. *sigh* And there was much rejoicing. Yaaaaay.

Oh, look, there's Kakashi, sewing himself up in the Kamui realm! I'd forgotten all about him!

Tsunade and Sakura team up to coat the floor with slugs because all of the healing (and Guy and Lee just have to splash in it like children, don't they?), the Second starts teleporting people out of danger - even Orochimaru is like "hey, the world is where I keep all of my stuff!" and teams up with Sarutobi.

This might be more impressive if all wasn't basically to do some gardening, and give a tree a bit of a heavy pruning.

Really, ninja, nobody ever developed Weedol no jutsu? Five-molar Great Round-Up Techique? Ninja Art: Systemic Translocatory Herbicide Jutsu? Forbidden Jutsu: Glyphosate?

And, no, once again, he have Obito magic hax that allows him to beat Naruto and Sasuke down.

Ah - Kakashi's ready for battle, so he's gonna Kamui in with the save while Obito is distracted any time...

Any time...

...any time...

... Okay, then. Just... sit there and lecture him, then, where he can't hear you, Kakashi. Good job.

Obito, Naruto is not going to give up. Hell, I wouldn't give up if I was there, just out of sheer bloody-minded spite to make sure you NEVER get what you want and you spend the rest of eternity with your own failure, wrongness and loss gnawing at you in agony forever, and Naruto is actually using the good end of the spectrum, so you got no chancre, sunshine.

And now Naruto and Sasuke are going to team up more directly. Maybe we might get a FRAKING HIT IN again next time...

[Lord Raziere]

And now your finally getting to the real stupidity of this with the gorramed Tree. the beginning of it at any rate. from here its just pure stupidity. the bottomless bag of things coming out of nowhere is not going to stop, and not going to be solely from Obito.

[Aotrs Commander]

Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

Back to it!

A Heart Filled With Comrades

Naruto and Sasuke armour up Kurama's amnifestation with Susanoo (and Saskue's like, "yeah, I heard this described to me one i can I can now do it, suck it, beeaytches" and for once, yeah, he deserves that one, that is pretty impressive).

Obito goes off on one with a silly oversized shield and this impractical looking double helix is the Sage of Six Path's sword and how it's all super-oweredful blahblach who cares?

And the Naruto calls up the remaining Konocha twelve (minus Sakura) and uper-charges them giving each of them a giant ball rasangan to go smassh Obtio's shield.

Okay, NOW we're freaking talking! Bahahahahaha!

They lunge towards each other, and Obito has a sudden fantasy of what might have been if he wasn't y'know, a complete douche-nozzle.

This clearly distracts him long enough, as the rasangans shread his shield and Naruto ans Sasuke's combined sensible sword smashes the crap out of Obito's and sliuces im up good. And then Naruto's Cunning Plan comes oin, which is use use that bit of chakra the other tailed beasts gave him to grab hold and use the same chakra-grabbing thing they've been doing to literally pull the tailed beasts out of Obito! Ha! (Fair's fair, Ten-Tails is running off scraps of Kurama and a fraction of Eight-Tails...)

But, of cours,e they can't get Shakaku or Eight-Tails that way, because that didn't happen with them.

And the fracking Gaara jumps in an is like "get over here!" to Shakaku because firckin' Gaara, and B jumps in as well.

Obito is now screaming about how he's more powerful than the Sage of six Paths, right up until the point first the Konaha Twelve, and then the entire rest of the shinobi forces all jump in to help (via Minato) join in the tug of war and Obito starts bricking himself.

HAH!

(This all takes twenty minutes and is less aesome that in should be, because of the insistance of having too many slow shots and close-ups and flashbacks, all of which have the opposite of the intended dramatic effect, more or less killing the mood.)

Finally, Naruto gets to see Obito's thought and tells him he DID warn him he was gonna rip that mask of his face, and he wasn't talking about the physical one...

Obito Uchiha

Naruto proceeds to deliver a point-blank talk-no-jutsu to the soul. One almost feels sorry for Obito.

Almost.

And the rest of the e4pisode is the pair of them spouting nonsense at each other and an extended flashback of Obtio as a child being slightly more skilled but in some ways, more hopeless than Naruto.

The flashback includes bits Obito wan't there for.

Wut.

Slow, pretty boring, actually.

Next!



I'm Always Watching

Pro tip, guys: if you're gonna spin things out for half-dozen episodes, don't say "fifteen minutes!" and then fill the time with blithering and flashbacks...

So, more talk no jutsu, more extended Obito flashbacks.

Which I find only tolerable because of everyone else.

We are, I think, supposed to see Obito as the Naruto that never was, but I just find him... Distasteful (and, as they keep showing that scene of him nearly snogging the photo of Rin, more than a little sleazy and creepy).

Rin's pretty cool though, though I find her decision to back Obito to the hilt questionable, but she's clearly going all-in with it, so there's that, I suppose.

Otherwise, this was a fairly banal and honestly rather dull pair of episodes.

The highlight being Guy one hit KOing Obito TWICE in the first chunin exams. That was hilarious and I laughed way too hard at that.

Though him looking like a scolded child when Naruto was tearing strips off him in the mindscaope was also kind of funny.



Looks like Things Might Fracking Happen next episode, maybe without too many more flashahahahahahahaha, yeah, that's not gonna be a thing, is it?



(Well, at least Madara showing up at some point shortly (I mean, he said as much to Hashirama) should make things fun again...)

[Starwulf]

And now your finally getting to the real stupidity of this with the gorramed Tree. the beginning of it at any rate. from here its just pure stupidity. the bottomless bag of things coming out of nowhere is not going to stop, and not going to be solely from Obito.

I can't say that I understand this attitude. There are a lot of things you can complain about with the end of Naruto, but the protags and antags pulling out new tricks from a seemingly never-ending bag of them is not one of them(I mean, you can, but it's silly to do so), especially at the climax of the entire show where it is virtually a requirement, as Naruto is a Shonen manga/anime. Heroes and Villains pulling out new moves/transformations/weapons/whatever from their nether regions is almost literally the definition of of the genre, and if you have a problem with that trope, you maybe shouldn't be reading/watching any show that is identified as Shonen. It's not like there aren't plenty of other manga/anime out there that DON'T partake in this particular trope, but still have good action in them.

[Lord Raziere]

I can't say that I understand this attitude. There are a lot of things you can complain about with the end of Naruto, but the protags and antags pulling out new tricks from a seemingly never-ending bag of them is not one of them(I mean, you can, but it's silly to do so), especially at the climax of the entire show where it is virtually a requirement, as Naruto is a Shonen manga/anime. Heroes and Villains pulling out new moves/transformations/weapons/whatever from their nether regions is almost literally the definition of of the genre, and if you have a problem with that trope, you maybe shouldn't be reading/watching any show that is identified as Shonen. It's not like there aren't plenty of other manga/anime out there that DON'T partake in this particular trope, but still have good action in them.

Well...

Spoiler: Spoilers so that Aotr won't see this

Show

Kaguya is just completely unnecessary and unconnected to the conflict that has been built up and talked about for years, the whole reincarnation thing was completely last second, Madara should've been the final boss, and a freaking world tree is stupid, its the most cliche and stupid thing ever.

and we definitely shouldn't be defining and defending a genre by its worst aspects. thats a slanted dishonest way of putting it. we can criticize a genre's worst points and still like it, its not this black and white thing where one either hates the whole thing or likes the whole thing, the whole point of pointing how stupid is, is to improve it. there is a difference between expanding the tricks of a thing in a thematic manner and just pulling something out of nowhere with no foreshadowing whatsoever.

because really "if you don't like this part of X, you shouldn't be watching it, because that DEFINES it" is a toxic attitude, because you can say that for anything. you can use that to justify shoving anyone out of any show, or genre or piece of media. so no, I'm not leaving, your argument is invalid and toxic, because its about allowing negative stuff to win for sake of "definition". screw that.

[Traab]

Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

Back to it!

A Heart Filled With Comrades

Naruto and Sasuke armour up Kurama's amnifestation with Susanoo (and Saskue's like, "yeah, I heard this described to me one i can I can now do it, suck it, beeaytches" and for once, yeah, he deserves that one, that is pretty impressive).

Obito goes off on one with a silly oversized shield and this impractical looking double helix is the Sage of Six Path's sword and how it's all super-oweredful blahblach who cares?

And the Naruto calls up the remaining Konocha twelve (minus Sakura) and uper-charges them giving each of them a giant ball rasangan to go smassh Obtio's shield.

Okay, NOW we're freaking talking! Bahahahahaha!

They lunge towards each other, and Obito has a sudden fantasy of what might have been if he wasn't y'know, a complete douche-nozzle.

This clearly distracts him long enough, as the rasangans shread his shield and Naruto ans Sasuke's combined sensible sword smashes the crap out of Obito's and sliuces im up good. And then Naruto's Cunning Plan comes oin, which is use use that bit of chakra the other tailed beasts gave him to grab hold and use the same chakra-grabbing thing they've been doing to literally pull the tailed beasts out of Obito! Ha! (Fair's fair, Ten-Tails is running off scraps of Kurama and a fraction of Eight-Tails...)

But, of cours,e they can't get Shakaku or Eight-Tails that way, because that didn't happen with them.

And the fracking Gaara jumps in an is like "get over here!" to Shakaku because firckin' Gaara, and B jumps in as well.

Obito is now screaming about how he's more powerful than the Sage of six Paths, right up until the point first the Konaha Twelve, and then the entire rest of the shinobi forces all jump in to help (via Minato) join in the tug of war and Obito starts bricking himself.

HAH!

(This all takes twenty minutes and is less aesome that in should be, because of the insistance of having too many slow shots and close-ups and flashbacks, all of which have the opposite of the intended dramatic effect, more or less killing the mood.)

Finally, Naruto gets to see Obito's thought and tells him he DID warn him he was gonna rip that mask of his face, and he wasn't talking about the physical one...

Obito Uchiha

Naruto proceeds to deliver a point-blank talk-no-jutsu to the soul. One almost feels sorry for Obito.

Almost.

And the rest of the e4pisode is the pair of them spouting nonsense at each other and an extended flashback of Obtio as a child being slightly more skilled but in some ways, more hopeless than Naruto.

The flashback includes bits Obito wan't there for.

Wut.

Slow, pretty boring, actually.

Next!



I'm Always Watching

Pro tip, guys: if you're gonna spin things out for half-dozen episodes, don't say "fifteen minutes!" and then fill the time with blithering and flashbacks...

So, more talk no jutsu, more extended Obito flashbacks.

Which I find only tolerable because of everyone else.

We are, I think, supposed to see Obito as the Naruto that never was, but I just find him... Distasteful (and, as they keep showing that scene of him nearly snogging the photo of Rin, more than a little sleazy and creepy).

Rin's pretty cool though, though I find her decision to back Obito to the hilt questionable, but she's clearly going all-in with it, so there's that, I suppose.

Otherwise, this was a fairly banal and honestly rather dull pair of episodes.

The highlight being Guy one hit KOing Obito TWICE in the first chunin exams. That was hilarious and I laughed way too hard at that.

Though him looking like a scolded child when Naruto was tearing strips off him in the mindscaope was also kind of funny.



Looks like Things Might Fracking Happen next episode, maybe without too many more flashahahahahahahaha, yeah, that's not gonna be a thing, is it?



(Well, at least Madara showing up at some point shortly (I mean, he said as much to Hashirama) should make things fun again...)

It really is amazing how epic yet painful these scenes can be. I mean come on, the ninja crew showing up to back up naruto? The whole going it alone versus having friends argument thats been going on ever since obito started ranting way back now paying off? Epic. 17x more time spent on reliving obitos entire lifetime in this battle of wills? Not so much. As for the picture kissing, come on, dude was like 12. I cant count how many movie scenes ive watched with youngins just discovering the other gender is hawt, kissing some picture they have, either of a celebrity from tiger beat magazine or a snapshot they have of their crush. If he was doing it NOW that would be creepy for oh so many reasons, but give him a pass as he was a hormonal kid who didnt realize he is a part of the truman show and cameras are EVERYWHERE!

[Aotrs Commander]

I can't say that I understand this attitude. There are a lot of things you can complain about with the end of Naruto, but the protags and antags pulling out new tricks from a seemingly never-ending bag of them is not one of them(I mean, you can, but it's silly to do so), especially at the climax of the entire show where it is virtually a requirement, as Naruto is a Shonen manga/anime. Heroes and Villains pulling out new moves/transformations/weapons/whatever from their nether regions is almost literally the definition of of the genre, and if you have a problem with that trope, you maybe shouldn't be reading/watching any show that is identified as Shonen. It's not like there aren't plenty of other manga/anime out there that DON'T partake in this particular trope, but still have good action in them.

380-odd Episodes into the second series and this is the first time it has been an issue.

The problem is, as usual, the execution. They are rushing through the actual fighting in favour of filling the time with - well, basically talking heads, philosophising, SYMBOLISM!1!111! and frag-damned flashbacks, because someone there believes that we have the memory of goldfish can can't remember things we were told last episode (let alone that have bee hammered in time after time after yet). It seems deeply afraid of letting itself stand

And, what it basically boils down to is the difference between Amoron, from season one of Korra and Thrawn from Star Wars - or even between Obito and Madara (or Kabuto or Orochimaru or even, I hate to say it, Pain); Obito is basically being given narrative leave to no-sell everything IMMEDIATELY via brute force (I mean, come on, not ten minutes ago in actual time he was getting his arse by kicked by Kakashi single-handedly). He has not previously nor is he now EARNING those power-ups; he's getting them because the Plot Says So. And it is all brute-force, no cleverness on is part (UNLIKE the stuff that is coming from Naruto's side).

ANY case of The Plot Says So is a case of bad writing, no matter who you are or what you're writing and it doesn't matter if this is a failing of Kishimoto or the anime adaption writers, it is just not good.

Let's be fair - Naruto IS better than this normally. Even up to a handful of episodes ago - it's only now that it's becoming obnoxious.



They really, REALLY just needed to cut some the the talky-crap and make Obito actually WORK for swinging it back into his favour.

Because at the minute, it's like the DM's pet NPC who he's railroading the plot, no matter how clever the PCs are getting and giving it plot shields.



Mercifully, it looks like it might be over (whe hoepfully Madara comes in) and hell, Madara can probably get away with it even if he does do that, because HE has charisma and isn't an unlikeably [Richard] like Obito is (and always has been). It's kind of hilarious the ONLY time Obito was good was when he was pretending to be Madara. He really IS nobody.

[Traab]

380-odd Episodes into the second series and this is the first time it has been an issue.

The problem is, as usual, the execution. They are rushing through the actual fighting in favour of filling the time with - well, basically talking heads, philosophising, SYMBOLISM!1!111! and frag-damned flashbacks, because someone there believes that we have the memory of goldfish can can't remember things we were told last episode (let alone that have bee hammered in time after time after yet). It seems deeply afraid of letting itself stand

And, what it basically boils down to is the difference between Amoron, from season one of Korra and Thrawn from Star Wars - or even between Obito and Madara (or Kabuto or Orochimaru or even, I hate to say it, Pain); Obito is basically being given narrative leave to no-sell everything IMMEDIATELY via brute force (I mean, come on, not ten minutes ago in actual time he was getting his arse by kicked by Kakashi single-handedly). He has not previously nor is he now EARNING those power-ups; he's getting them because the Plot Says So. And it is all brute-force, no cleverness on is part (UNLIKE the stuff that is coming from Naruto's side).

ANY case of The Plot Says So is a case of bad writing, no matter who you are or what you're writing and it doesn't matter if this is a failing of Kishimoto or the anime adaption writers, it is just not good.

Let's be fair - Naruto IS better than this normally. Even up to a handful of episodes ago - it's only now that it's becoming obnoxious.



They really, REALLY just needed to cut some the the talky-crap and make Obito actually WORK for swinging it back into his favour.

Because at the minute, it's like the DM's pet NPC who he's railroading the plot, no matter how clever the PCs are getting and giving it plot shields.



Mercifully, it looks like it might be over (whe hoepfully Madara comes in) and hell, Madara can probably get away with it even if he does do that, because HE has charisma and isn't an unlikeably [Richard] like Obito is (and always has been). It's kind of hilarious the ONLY time Obito was good was when he was pretending to be Madara. He really IS nobody.

Im not giving it away entirely but there WILL be a change with the whole obito dynamic that might help. The flashbacks wont be stopping though. I seriously think the series would have ended a year sooner had they removed that garbage from this entire arc. Just so FREAKING MUCH!!!! *EDIT* I want to add, I watched this entire war through disjointed battle clips on youtube and I still got burnt out on the flashbacks. Thats how obnoxious this part truly is. Knowing that even with editing to remove large portions of them and sticking primarily to the punching there were so many repetitive flashbacks is a horrifying thing.

[Ramza00]

They really, REALLY just needed to cut some the the talky-crap and make Obito actually WORK for swinging it back into his favour.

Because at the minute, it's like the DM's pet NPC who he's railroading the plot, no matter how clever the PCs are getting and giving it plot shields.

You don't respect Obito for he didn't "earn it", well that is one of the themes of Obito and other villians in Naruto. Power Relations drive the world where the strong have the leverage to move the world in a way they find satisfying and there is nothing anyone else can do about it, they just have to take it, they just have to suffer.

Respect has nothing to do about it, Earning it has nothing to do about it, nor Justice has nothing to do about it, just Power.



So let Obito be the steroid / venom user who "cheats" in order to rise to the top. Yes he doesn't have Charisma or Respect. That is the entire point!

[Aotrs Commander]

You don't respect Obito for he didn't "earn it", well that is one of the themes of Obito and other villians in Naruto. Power Relations drive the world where the strong have the leverage to move the world in a way they find satisfying and there is nothing anyone else can do about it, they just have to take it, they just have to suffer.

You misunderstand my point entirely. I din't mean "earned in universe, hardwork verses blahblahblah" I mean, earned in the narrative, out-of-character sense. He is given these power-ups with no NARRATIVE justification (unlike, say Madara, whose ridiculous over-the-top power was very heavily foreshadowed AND who has been consistently demonstarting that).

Obito isn't shown having to even try to just go "nuh-uh, no effect because."

As I say, it is the difference between Grand Admiral Thrawn, who is shown doing the clever things that make him a tactical genius (and we get the explanation), and that [expletive] from season one of Korra, who just had stuff happen to put the heroes even more into a corner because the plot says so.

(I would expand more, but it's time for me to go out.)

[Ramza00]

This is you Aotrs



Scar=Obito , and Madara is Mufasa if he was a Villain (note this is not point is not a literal 1:1 mapping, there are so many differences between these 4 characters). Yet what they have in common is there are different types of villains, some villains subvert the importance of name / titles, while other villains are villains specifically because they are legends and their name is a title, an epithet, a rod of commanding power.

What makes Obito is a good villain is he deconstructs these things and shows another way of being a villain besides names. Obito is all about the primal human needs of being

1) [The Primal Human Need] of being seen by others, our true self being acknowledged behind the titles, our actions, our rank, our role, our names, our masks.
2) [The Primal Human Need] of be inspired by others, how inspiration is the source of desire, the desire that leads to growth and change.
3) [The Primal Human Need] of being connected to others we individual humans are worlds onto ourselves yet at the same time we are social creatures and we need our individual world to be part of a greater world, a web, a system of bonds. The idea of "belonging."

All humans have these 3 needs (plus many others), and Obito is an example of a person who when he did not get one of these needs fufilled it infected him and his trust in the world and it spread to these other 2 needs.

-----

Obito is a villain who is the counterpart for Madara for what drives them is so fundamentally different even if they are similar enough to be allies towards a greater goal.

Obito is a great villian from the narrative standpoint. Madara is just far more fun !

[Aotrs Commander]

This is you Aotrs

*snip*

Poor Scar, I don't think he deserves that comparsion...!

What makes Obito is a good villain is he deconstructs these things and shows another way of being a villain besides names. Obito is all about the primal human needs of being

1) [The Primal Human Need] of being seen by others, our true self being acknowledged behind the titles, our actions, our rank, our role, our names, our masks.
2) [The Primal Human Need] of be inspired by others, how inspiration is the source of desire, the desire that leads to growth and change.
3) [The Primal Human Need] of being connected to others we individual humans are worlds onto ourselves yet at the same time we are social creatures and we need our individual world to be part of a greater world, a web, a system of bonds. The idea of "belonging."

All humans have these 3 needs (plus many others), and Obito is an example of a person who when he did not get one of these needs fufilled it infected him and his trust in the world and it spread to these other 2 needs.

-----

Obito is a villain who is the counterpart for Madara for what drives them is so fundamentally different even if they are similar enough to be allies towards a greater goal.

Obito is a great villian from the narrative standpoint. Madara is just far more fun !

Honestly - I really kind of don't give a flying frag about deconstructions and what not. Hell, I don't even care how technically competant you are, if you are not being entertaining in a peice of entertainment media, you have failed. (The best you can get is a "well done for being techincally competant" badge.) But technically competant doesnt mean automatically GOOD - nor even does being clever. (And they are not, narratively, being particularly technically competant at the moment, they are being Arty. And I hate "Arty.") It matters not a single, flying FRAG about what something represents in the thematic concepts if the execution is poor.

Naruto is often at its worst when it is trying to be to... thematic, because it frequently does it so badly and so heavy-handedly and - as now - completely sabotages its own pacing to wade into what amounts to "people looking sad" for minutes on end. That is not entertaining. I don't find that to be entertaining in any medium, anime, live-action or otherwise, and sure as hell not in a show about magic ninjas.

What makes Obito a terrible villain is as soon as he took the mask off, he stopped being entertaining. Now he's just a whiney little [expletive] that we've seen in other things a thousand times before, only with additional plot armour. His thematic mirrors to Naruto kind of don't matter if I just want him off the screen because he's boring (and him no-selling pretty much all the escalations instantly - not after a short bout where he manages to switch things around and "earning" it - is boring). I don't write up my power fantasies where I effortlessly crush all opposition under my boot while laughing manically at there terror and despair because no-one other than me wants to see that. The same applies here, really.

I mean, we have had worse in some respects, but this time the philosphising and thematic elements are getting in the way of everything else.

The daft thing is, Naruto is just usually so much BETTER than this with regard to the fight sequenes - and let me me brutally honest, that is what, ultimately I am here for.