Naruto IX: [Epilogue Intensifies]

[Ramza00]

Agreed, when it fails, it will fail BAD. The problem is, this type of person thinks they are far too amazing at manipulation and secrets to ever be caught.

Or they go Saruman in other fantasy works (they may be good at manipulation and secrets but they still do it anyway.)

Danzo and Saurman are actually very different people with different strengths, yet they have the same type of flaw for they lack strength in the other domain and you need both types of strengths to have faith in long term war that can last decades and may destroy your country.

But yeah Dunning–Kruger effect.

[Aotrs Commander]

Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

And we're back!

The New Akatsuki

The concluding episode of Obito's backstory... Not much to say, except Hanzo is kind of a moron.

95% sure the dude that delivers the message abut Hanzo's treaty to the Akatsuki is Danzo. Voice sounds the same, patch over the right eye, gloves on the left hand. It bloody would be, wouldn't it?

Sweet, on to Kakashi's ANBU arc! This ought to be jolly!

A Mask That Hides The Heart

*first scene is Kakashi having night terrors about killing Rin and then frantically trying to wash his hands with his eyes full of tears*

Oh.

Okay, then.

This is gonna be rough, ain't it?

Still, chibi sensei and seeing Minato and Kushina (Naruto is SO MUCH his mother's son) is always a bonus.

FRACKING DANZO though.

My Lichemaster, why will no-one shiv him up? Dude is more transparently Evil than I am, and I'm a freaking Undead abomination! How can no-one not see it? I mean, Orochimaru, by comparison, is like, the master of subtly comparted to Danzo, oh my Lichemaster.

C'mon, people just look at the way he practially chews the table up when Minato is put forward for Hokage! How is it not obvious you need to kill thsi guy NOW?

So... Minato... Your solution to Kakashi being deeply traumatised by Rin's death is to... Make him ANBU. Yeah... Yeah, that won't -

Minato's Death

*watches Kakashi gut five ninja without bothering to take prisoners and scare the crap out of the guy that calls him on it*

- okay, then.

99% sure they were, of course, more of Danzo's mooks dressed as Stone Shinobi (probably only hirelings, given the way the last one soiled¹ himself when Kakashi turned up).

Obito, you ACTUALLY took time out of you dangerously inflitration of the leaf to despoil Rin's grave (and yes, the fact that Kakshi left those flowers doesn't change that)? That's petty, man, even by my standards.

Bye Minato and Kushina! Again!

DEAR FRAG, how obvious does Danzo need to be?! He calls out the Third Hokage is incompetant (clearly wanting to be Hokage himself before Hiruzen cut him off mid-sentence) and Hiruzen literally just laughed him off, instead of, y'know, pile-driving him through the wall. You get a lot of flak Hiruzen, for Naruto's upbringing, but frankly, not killing Danzo DECADES AGO was your biggest failing. YES, even more than Orochimaru!

Woo, chibi Tenzo. And at least Kakashi is CLEARLY playing double agent so at least someone is fracking Danzo up.



Seriously, it is now VERY clear that the real bad guy was clearly Danzo all along, and this thing with the ten-tail and the magic tree lady is more or less incidental to Danzo's fricking villainy that had enough momentum to carry on.

Honestly, if it had turned out that Danzo was really the Ten Tails or something, it would have been way more credible.

I'm still not conmvined Danzo didn't somehow find a way to travel back in time to instigate all of everything, because he seems to have bee behind LITERALLLY EVERYTHING ELSE. Ye gods, he was probably somehow behind all the movie villains and the filler villains too...

And somehow NO-ONE NOTICED!!!!



¹So, in a moment of forgetting myself because it is so claggy and hot I can't think properly, I typed "shat himself" and discovered that was not blocked by the censor and censored it myself (except for here). You learn summat knw every day.

[Ramza00]

So the Boruto Anime is now at Boruto the Movie in the Timeline location.

Spoiler: Boruto the Anime

Show

So I have not been watching the Boruto Anime...much. Ocassionaly watching a few episodes. A recent episode (#64 Rescuing Naruto!) takes place after the Otsutsuki Clan attacked the Chunnin Exams and they take Naruto away. Then stuff involving the Otsutsuki Clan talking to Naruto on a different world with Naruto being strapped to the God's Tree, the 4 Kages+Sasuke rescuing Naruto, and Naruto and Boruto understanding each other and how Naruto does not understand what it is like to be Boruto and he is neglecting him even if its not intentional. Eventually Momoshiki eats his companion Kinshiki. It appears the anime is following some of the Boruto Manga character designs and minor storyboard plots for Momoshiki's character design is like the Manga and not the Movie and there are minor plot differences such as Sasuke trying to chop off Momoshiki's head right before the Chakra Fruit activates.

Oh yeah there is a 3rd Otsutsuki member (Urashiki) but he is the weakest of the 3 and does not fight during the time the Otsutsuki clan kidnaps Naruto. He seems to be a spy / spell-thief / rogue type character aka a person who is actually a ninja but also does not have the strength / durability to go up against someone like Naruto or Sasuke. He did take down the character Toneri Ōtsutsuki (aka the moon guy from Naruto the Last Movie, the one who currently has no eyes but he temporarly had the Byakugan and the Tenseigan.) Oh yeah it seems Toneri did something to Boruto and Toneri is the reason for Boruto having a weird eye.

But yeah while Urashiki is the weakest of the 3 Otsusuki he does have two Byakugan, and he can convert one of his Byakugans into a Rinnegan (6 tomoe like Sasuke Sharingan / Rinnegan)

----

Yeah Boruto is weird. The next episode is going to be July 19th and will probably include a fight scene between Momoshiki vs Sasuke and Naruto. Who knows when this anime arc will end but I bet with dialogue and such it will not be over till August. The Boruto Movie came out August 7th 2015, that means the Anime has been doing 3 years or pure filler and recaps and so on. The franchise has to be milked for all its worth .

[LaZodiac]

New chapter!

Spoiler

Show

Who ****ing cares.

Spoiler: Actual chapter lookover

Show

No but seriously, Four kills the man and then overheats because surprise he's a cyborg and the Karma is seemingly related to that, which means Boruto is also a cyborg maybe? Or at least has...something related to it. A natural born cyborg. Whatever. This is really bad! Mitsuki mentions he's a snake clone just off hand and everyone's like "wait what?!" and that's like, funny I guess, but good lord everything's so muddled.

[Aotrs Commander]

Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

Hashirama's Cells

*skulldesk*

*skulldesk*

*SKULLDESK*

AAAAAAAARGH!!!!

Hiruzen! You... YOU!

GRAAAAAAGH!

Danzo! ACTUALLY tried! To have you ASSASSINATED! VERY OBVIOUSLY. And you just... Say "don't do that again?"

WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY?

Literally NOTHING Danzo has EVER done has been good for the Leaf EVER!

FRICKING KILL HIM!!!

Ye gods.

I mean, it's clear the fire Daiymo is terrified of him, he's practically said (after he finished bricking himself when you CAUGHT HIM IN YOUR CHAIR) he's gonna get you next time or something... For FRACK'S SAKE, you're nearly proving Danzo's point for him by LETTING HIM LIVE!!!

Every. SINGLE. One of those experimented kidnappees tthat Dumbzo and Roachymoron collected is on your head, Hiruzen, because you couldn't get the stones to knobble two INCREDIBLY obviously Evil nutters in your own village.

GUUHHHH.

The Rogue Ninja Orochimaru

Slight timeskip, as we see Orochimaru's betrayal discovery, and just to PROVE MY POINT, frigging Danzo sends Tenzo to help him get away...

HA! Orochimaru got snagged by a snake with a tag in it! Ahahahahaha! Nice!

(Huh. You know, that leaf flak jacket actually suit him way better than his crappy purple-rope robe...)

And from Kakashi's backstory to Tenzo's. Cool.

Okay. So, Bear with me here... This secret clan Roachy found keep dying because they spontaneously turn into smoke sometimes and can be blown away by a slight breeze?

How the merry HELL did they last long enough to be a clan? Ye gods, they must be sex-mad!

And Tenzo seems to have picked up a one girl...

Who is his sister, purportedly... (Well, that wasn't going where I thought it was...!)

But is Tenzo really Tenzo....?

Orochimaru's Test Subject

And Tenzo escapes with the young lass (leaving Kakashi behind and, for the first time in this grim arc, we get something like a wise-crack! Hurrah! Real Kakashi is starting to emerge from the deeply traumatised young man at last! That's good, right?

And festival excitement, with and increasingly "I cannot believe this is happening" Tenzo as she runs riot with smoke-possession, giggling and enjoying life all the while, because she's never been outside or to a festival.

Dear Lichemaster, she is going to die so horribly, isn't she?

Meanwhile Kakashi runs the smoke-smeghead clan leader around until there is a slight gust of wind, which apparently cuts him in half or something in mist form.

Wow, Temari could take this entire clan single-handedly pre-chunin exams, couldn't she?

Oh, I see, Orochimaru (who I now understand why he so desparately wanted all that immortality stuff because he's actually not doing very well with all the explosion damage) needs her because all the others are worthless.

She's going to be Tenzo's Rin , isn't she?

Also, it is increasingly possible that our Tenzo, is in fact, not Tenzo, but that Tenzo (the girl's brother) was, in fact the last test-subject to die before Tenzo. Like he wasn't fracked up enough...!



One thing this arc has definitely made me realise, at the umpteenth time Kakashi had night-terrors about Rin and spends Lichemaster-knows how long trying to wash his hands clean, that all the frackers who keep bashing him and saying he's a lazy, crap teacher and favoured Sasuke and whatnot can got perform improbable sex acts with sharp objects, because WOW, considering how fracked-up Kakashi was, he did FREAKING WELL.

Actually, if you take the end of the series into account, HIS team actually all came out loyal and alive by the end of it, which puts him ahead of Third AND Forth... (Even though at least one of them probably shouldn't have.)

(Dammit though, I have not-quite zero familarity with Sarada (a few fan fics involving time-traval, clips and her battle theme) thus far and I already would feel guilty if she didn't exist. DAMN YOU SASUKE!)

[Rater202]

The only bad thing I can say about Sarada is that she has a crush on Boruto and the two of them cannot be allowed to breed for reasons that you should have explained to you eventually if you keep watching.

Also... In Fairness, since this is a filler arc, it's entirely possible that the Assassination attempt never actually happened and the Third wasn't that incompetant.

[Ramza00]

Newest Chapter and lets talk Ninja Tools

Spoiler

Show

So ninja tech can be adapted in a way that it is "micro" level and it can be integrated in the body with no apparent obvious use to external eyes that the body includes ninja tech.

Is this a surprise really? Is this really not just an extension of already existing Naruto tech / philosphy on how their magic system works?

We already know these things.

• Yang Release can breathe life into nonliving things previously as part of it nature of this type of Chakra. It is literally fundamentally what Yang Release techniques do.
• While many body repair techniques have a Yang component, we also have Yin based techniques such as Tsunade Yin seal allowing her almost infinite regeneration and Kabuto's part 1 Yin technique that healed / prevented major Rasengan damage.
• Sage Chakra can also breathe life into inorganic substances and literally animate them like golems as evidence by Kabuto animating the cave to move in his fight with Itachi and Sasuke.
• We seen with the Asura / Machine Rinnegan techniques that allow people to have inorganic forms that just appear.
• Chakra threads can manipulate inorganic substances.
• Humans have multiple transmitatory systems in a human body in the Naruto verse as a natural thing. The Nervous System, the Circulatory / Blood System, but also the Chakra system as its own unique system similar to the nervous or circulatory system but this system transmits chakra.

So is it a big surprise that someone can miniaturize ninja tech and create a new system in someone's body? A complete synthroid / synthetic system? And is it any surprise this system can be integrated with traditional chakra when we saw so much evidence so far that chakra can manipulate inorganics but also modify the body?

We do not know if the mark Boruto and Kawaki have is somehow tied to inorganic body parts / being modified. That is a jump in logic where you just assume it must be true for Kawaki has special non human stuff thus another non human stuff must come from the non human stuff we already know about and was revealed in this chapter. We can't just assume the Kama mark is tied even if it could be tied.

(But lets say Kama is tied to inorganics, well Momoshiki was a Rinnegan user and thus could access Asura path abilities and those already deal with inorganics, and per the anime Toneri Ōtsutsuki the Tennisgan guy Naruto fought in Naruto the Last Movie, well he did something to Boruto per Urashiki Ōtsutsuki.)

----

Sidenote, Kara the evil organization in Boruto means Husk / Shell. This is speculation. Since we are revealed that Outer Kara uses Ninja Tools I take it they have "outer ninja tools," while perhaps Inner Kara members have internal inside their body ninja tech?

[Traab]

The only bad thing I can say about Sarada is that she has a crush on Boruto and the two of them cannot be allowed to breed for reasons that you should have explained to you eventually if you keep watching.

Also... In Fairness, since this is a filler arc, it's entirely possible that the Assassination attempt never actually happened and the Third wasn't that incompetant.

Its also possible that they didnt bother to go into details. What do i mean? When you are a guy like danzo, having insurance is a necessity. He probably has insanely damaging info on everyone in power everywhere, all in case someone tries to put him on trial, or if he should mysteriously vanish some day. That makes it really really hard to do anything to him, because the end result is going to suck no matter what.

[Aotrs Commander]

Its also possible that they didnt bother to go into details. What do i mean? When you are a guy like danzo, having insurance is a necessity. He probably has insanely damaging info on everyone in power everywhere, all in case someone tries to put him on trial, or if he should mysteriously vanish some day. That makes it really really hard to do anything to him, because the end result is going to suck no matter what.

Nah, he was VERY visibly [excrementing] himself when Hiruzen caught him smugly sitting in Hiruzen's chair in his office and called him on it. If Hiruzen didn't... unfathomably just decide to let it slide (WHY???), Danzo was a dead man and they both knew it.

This is what gets me. They tried to write Danzo as some sort of expert politician of the Lex Luthor- Thrawn- or Palpatine-like chessmaster mastermind type, when in fact, from his demonstrated actions (yes, even outside filler¹, like when he became Hokage and IMMEDIATELY went Mad With Power) he has all the subtly - and competance - of freaking SKELETOR. His skills are entirely informed, not shown.



¹Not that "it was filler" carries any weight with me anyway, given that filler is often as good or better than the main plot and thus I will hold the writers to the same standard. You put it on the screen, guys, and it counts.

[Traab]

Nah, he was VERY visibly [excrementing] himself when Hiruzen caught him smugly sitting in Hiruzen's chair in his office and called him on it. If Hiruzen didn't... unfathomably just decide to let it slide (WHY???), Danzo was a dead man and they both knew it.

This is what gets me. They tried to write Danzo as some sort of expert politician of the Lex Luthor- Thrawn- or Palpatine-like chessmaster mastermind type, when in fact, from his demonstrated actions (yes, even outside filler¹, like when he became Hokage and IMMEDIATELY went Mad With Power) he has all the subtly - and competance - of freaking SKELETOR. His skills are entirely informed, not shown.



¹Not that "it was filler" carries any weight with me anyway, given that filler is often as good or better than the main plot and thus I will hold the writers to the same standard. You put it on the screen, guys, and it counts.

Ah ok then, i didnt watch that one so dont know the particulars.

[Ramza00]

Nah, he was VERY visibly [excrementing] himself when Hiruzen caught him smugly sitting in Hiruzen's chair in his office and called him on it. If Hiruzen didn't... unfathomably just decide to let it slide (WHY???), Danzo was a dead man and they both knew it.

This is what gets me. They tried to write Danzo as some sort of expert politician of the Lex Luthor- Thrawn- or Palpatine-like chessmaster mastermind type, when in fact, from his demonstrated actions (yes, even outside filler¹, like when he became Hokage and IMMEDIATELY went Mad With Power) he has all the subtly - and competance - of freaking SKELETOR. His skills are entirely informed, not shown.



¹Not that "it was filler" carries any weight with me anyway, given that filler is often as good or better than the main plot and thus I will hold the writers to the same standard. You put it on the screen, guys, and it counts.

The Third in reality is more Lawful Evil even though the people of the village assume he is Lawful Good for he is old and he has a laughter with warmth in it. So if he is Lawful Evil...something something The Third is Lawful Evil Megatron and Danzo is just Starscream and does not even deserve an alignment for he is just Danzo.

[Aotrs Commander]

The Third in reality is more Lawful Evil even though the people of the village assume he is Lawful Good for he is old and he has a laughter with warmth in it. So if he is Lawful Evil...something something The Third is Lawful Evil Megatron and Danzo is just Starscream and does not even deserve an alignment for he is just Danzo.

Pssh, if he was Lawful Evil, he'd have executed Danzo there and then. Hiruzen is LN at best. The Third is not, at least, for his faults, quite G1Cartoon!Megatron¹.



¹Has to be specified, since, say, g1MarvelComics!Starscream Megatron a) actually had good reason to not kill, because he WAS actually very competant, b) Shockwave was at LEAST as traitorous as Starscream and came to blows with Megatron on several occasioans and c) Megatron was insane half the time, not Megatron but an imposer the other half, even in the rare occasions when he was actually in charge instead of Shockwave, Scorponok, Ratbat (yes, Ratbat), or Galvatron or that time both Soundwave and Starscream had enough of that crap and deposed both of the former and ruled between them. And yet, that Megatron, sill more competant than the cartoon...

Oh, and for the record, in the far-future timeline of 2005, Soundwave - the only one left alive - ruled the Decepticons quite well...

[Rater202]

Also, unlike Starscream, Danzo isn't as close to immortal as you can get in a setting without explicit magic.

[Traab]

Also, unlike Starscream, Danzo isn't as close to immortal as you can get in a setting without explicit magic.

Sasuke had to kill him like 13 times!

[Lord Raziere]

Sasuke had to kill him like 13 times!

and he used up all thirteen lives in one go like an idiot instead of doing an actual smart and making sure he he had to use them as little as possible.

[LaZodiac]

Danzo was killed by a ****ing shuriken.

[Douglas]

and he used up all thirteen lives in one go like an idiot instead of doing an actual smart and making sure he he had to use them as little as possible.

If you're referring to the fact that he didn't bother dodging or blocking anything, see the explanation quoted below. If you've already read that and don't think it's accurate or sufficient, please explain what part of it you think is wrong.

He tried that part way through the fight. He almost died because of it (it's the attack where he grew wood from his shoulder to defend).

The biggest problem with Izanagi for Danzo is that, unless you have specifically set up an automatic trigger in advance like Madara did, you can't activate it when you're already dead. You have to activate the technique in advance, and Danzo had to take a little time and form a hand seal to do it - not quick enough to react to many of Sasuke's attacks before they hit. On the flip side, once he has activated it, he's already paid the price for any and all uses of it for as long as the technique lasts, which was about a minute for him.

So, Danzo had to activate it in advance to be able to reliably survive Sasuke's attacks. Having done so, he had no reason to use any other defense until it expired.

[Reddish Mage]

They tried to write Danzo as some sort of expert politician of the Lex Luthor- Thrawn- or Palpatine-like chessmaster mastermind type, when in fact, from his demonstrated actions (yes, even outside filler¹, like when he became Hokage and IMMEDIATELY went Mad With Power) he has all the subtly - and competance - of freaking SKELETOR. His skills are entirely informed, not shown.

What gives you the impression they were trying to make Danzo appear so smart?

I don't recall he was around very much and, as pointed out, his moves were anything but smart.

[Rater202]

Sasuke had to kill him like 13 times!

As opposed to Starscream, who was still alive so many Giant-Robot generations in the future that the War between the Autobots and Decepticons is less "ancient history" and more "vauge acnient myths that we've buil out religion out of" despite having long since become a disembodied spark.

So Old ago that despite the Decepticons apparently taken up the use of "Starscream" as code for "Traitor" at some point, between the Maximals and the Predacons, only Dinobot, who is a colosal history nerd focused on the Era of the original war, knows that Starscream is not to be trusted.

Side note: Waspinator, the Predacon Starscream possessed in that episode, from that point on would be blown to scrap but remian conscious and be rlativly easily rebuilt even though Other Transformers would be killed by simar injuries--Starscream is so immortal that he can accidentally make other bots immortal.

[Aotrs Commander]

Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

Welcome back to "Young Girl About To Die Horribly For Character Motivation" theatre!

Their Own Paths

So Orochimaru basically just wiped out the smoke-body clan for no other reason than... What? Kicks and giggles? He knew their blood wouldn't help and he killed them anyway?

Okay, the person in the tank Tenzo kept seeing die when he was an experiment was a girl. I think. It's hard to tell.

And there we go, the horrible death. Nice try there with the wood, though Tenzo.

Except that no, apparently the smopke-ghosts of the clan can save her. But she will just disappear into the sunset (despite likely being Tenzo's actual sister). So she might as well have died, then.

The Targeted Sharingan

FRACKING DANZO.

"Get me a replacement for my sharigarn right eye!"

Ye GODS.

He just beggars belief.

Also, how the hell did Tenzo never tell anyone about that if he knew...?

So off Tenzo goes to assassinate Kakashi in one of Roachymoron's hideouts, while the latter does a bit of recon.

("Wouldn't do for the villagers to find out what happened to their loved ones," says Hiruzen referring to the frightening number of people old Roachy (with Dumbzo's help no doubt) has kidnapped. No, ya THINK?)

Fortunately, Kakashi is Kakashi and Kakashis his way through the problem.

Uh, guys... Guys, that's a big snake thing, maybe you should look behind...

A Shinobi of the Leaf

That is a snake made of other snakes. And was probably some dude once.

Nasty.

Lightning Blade still kills it, though.

And becaue Tenzo is becoming sane, Danzo throws a screaming wobbly (don't practise what you preach even distantly, do you?)

But Kakashi is there to save the day!

And then Tenzo was an ANBU.



Danzo again never ceases to amaze me with his heavy-handedness that Hiruzen just - mostly tolerates. Though it was somewhat satisifying to see him turn up and say "no Kakashi was looking for you, Danzo, so you don't get to kill him, also, I would like you to give me Tenzo now, or else these ANBU around me and I might get a bit angry."

Watching Danzo cave like Grima Wormtongue is kinda hilarious. Maybe that's why Hiruzen kept him about, he took a perverse delight in occasionally stomping on Danzo's metaphorical foot.

Still shoulda killed him though.



Dumbzo aside, I'm really digging this Kakashi and Tenzo arc. The change of pace from ridiculous mega-jutsu is also nice. Not that I mind the latter, but variety is the spice of unlife.

[Ramza00]

So Boruto is getting an English dub.

Also Boruto 65 came out and the fight between Naruto and Sasuke vs Momoshiki is completely different.

One thing that ws changed that may have future plot significance (besides just looking cool with the battles) is the Vanishing Rasengan is now lightning release and not wind release like the movie version was.

[Aotrs Commander]

Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

SCREW that mission I just did on BATTLETECH, I need to do something that doesn't frustrate the HELL out of my before meditation time, so on with the insanity!

An Uchiha ANBU

Itachi enters the ANBU...

Guy is (not unreasonably) concerned about Kakashi's state of mind. The Hokage (very reasonably) says Guy is not suited to being ANBU. (No, REALLY?)

Hey! Eternal Genin Guy! They remembered you exist still! That was a nice little call-back.

Coup d'État and The Night of the Tragedy

And we witness the slow slide to the entirely avoidable tragedy of the Uchiha Massecre. And - once more - at the heart of it is FRACKING DANZO.

YE GODS.

It continually baffles me why no-one fricking killed him. In this last arc alone, he's tried to have the Hokage assassinated, tried to murder Kakashi and steal his eyes (twice) and now he flagrantly went out and stole Shisui's eyes on the eve of the tragedy. (WHY Itachi just didn't tell the Third, I don't know.) Furthermore, as he used Izanagi to do it, it sees he was ALREADY stealing eyeballs.

I just... AAAAAAAAARGH. He's not even SUBTLE about any of it.

It took the actual massecre of an ENTIRE CLAN for Hiruzen to go "y'know, maybe I should be lettign Danzo... Y'know, DO anything, ever."

I suppose Danzo might have had something of a point - Hiruzen wasn't hard enough to make the right calls - but the only calls he missed were just Danzo and Orochimaru.

I swear, kill freaking Danzo and sod Magic Tree Lady and Zetsu, that would have removed the single biggest threat to the Leaf, ever.

[Aotrs Commander]

Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

Jōnin Leader and Team 7

And we round out the whole Kakashi arc by bringing us to the start of the series, with Kakashu failing teams (only two, apparently) before getting Our Heroes.

Apparnetly Guy's critierion has nothing to do with teamwork, and everything to do with determination. Interesting...

It was interesting to see Kakashi's side of events (especially after so many years and so many different interpretations).

Ye gods, he was so fracked up. Yeah, ANBU really didn't help him at all, I get the impression it mostly just gave him an excuse to not actually deal. It's amazing he came out as well as he did, really.



Kakashi's Resolve

Oh, hey, back the present! What were we doing again?

Oh, right, kicking Madara and Obito's arses!

Well, Kakashi not so much, until Naruto blocks both Madara and Obito's attacks in two different places simultaneously because FRACK YOU UCHIHAS!

And then Kakashi gets a Kurama recharge.

Highlight of the episode? Kakashi in the Kamui dimension, simultaneously attacking Obito with Naruto in the real one. "Oh, that's some pain on your face alright." *punches Obito in his stupid face*

Class.

And now Naruto and and B are doing a twin beast-ball attack on Ten Tails. That's goingto hurt. I mean, those are getting really big. Like, REALLY big.

Okay, guys, um, this is usually the point Goku aims at the sky because... Oh, okay, yeah that's going to...

...

Preeeeetty sure they just freaking nuked it.

Well, that ought to put a crimp in...

...

Aaaaand Ten Tails.

They just provided, with their beast-balls, enough eight- and nine- tailed chakra to complete the transformation, didn't they?

Well.

[Expletive].

[Ramza00]

Okay, guys, um, this is usually the point Goku aims at the sky because... Oh, okay, yeah that's going to...

Laughs if you think this is the time for a Spirit Bomb.

[Lord Raziere]

Laughs if you think this is the time for a Spirit Bomb.

Yeah he's still on ten tails, Bleakbane still hasn't gotten to the REAL nonsense yet.

[Aotrs Commander]

Laughs if you think this is the time for a Spirit Bomb.

Yeah he's still on ten tails, Bleakbane still hasn't gotten to the REAL nonsense yet.

Hope springs eternal (that the coming nonsense is an elaborate practical joke...?)



Bleakbane Catches Up With Naruto

The Allied Shinobi Forces Jutsu

Oh, yeah. Ten-Tails is kicking their arses.

Madara is such complete [Richard], and it is frackin' hilarious. It's just a shame since taking the mask off, for some reason, Tobi has become almost totally boring now. Pity.

Wow. That is some nuke-level partical beams there, Ten-Tails. No wonder Madara just wanted to play around.

And there go our tailed beasts, out of juice.

And again with the death-beam and...

Did... Did... INO just grab Obito mind-possession and make the Ten-Tails miss?!

That... That...

IS

FREAKING

AWESOME!

Bahahahahahahahaha!

And everyone is here!

And they're all going to die really horribly!

And Madara is like "all of the shinobi in the world fighting me. That's almost cute." Oh my frag. Obito is just angry, Madara is not only not bothered, he's enjoying himself thoroughly.

WHY couldn't he be the proper end boss? He's SO GOOOOOOOOD!

Okay, credit where credit is due, five ninja nations each doing a super-jutsu is kinda awesomely hilarious. It's a pity that - of course - this isn't going to be solved by the Will of Fire (like it frickin' should be).

Good plan, thought.

The Ties That Bind

Yeaaaaaah... That went about as well as I expected.

Obito's getting really snippy, and...Ahahahahahahaha! Madara gives no fracks! Like, at all! He is freaking side-splitting. He is such a [Richard] and it is AMAZING.

Ten-Tails new form is...

Really quite stupid-looking.

Okay, now we are throwing nukes around from Ten-Tails.

Wow, that one's gonna hit a city - oh no it didn't... Oh, wait it did.

And...

[Expletive.]

Ballistic missile attack on headquarters.

Frag.

Damn.

That... Is... Depressing.

But the fact Madara is urinating himself laughing about it practially somehow lightens the mood.

And then Obito goes off on one and decides to mass splinterbolt everyone.

Ohhhhh. Nasty.

Ha, leave it to Naruto and Neji to kick arse and splatter all the attacks and... Naruto just ran out of chakra.

And death spikes.

And... The moment I've been dreading more than any other in this entire series since I first heard about it.



Neji.



FRAG.

DAMN

IT.



Obito, to my astonishment, not content with poking the sleeping bear, is actually kicking the bear in the knackers while screaming "I banged your Mum, your sister, your Dad, ate all your honey and urinated in your salmon and I dare you to pull my intestines out of my eyesockets!" Metaphorically.

Throwing Naruto's "I won't let my comrades die! in his face after just killing one of his cloest friends.

I...

So...

Stupid...

Like "attempt to steal Bleakbane's chocolate" stupid.

He's even crowning it with a "join us and together we will rule the galaxy!"

Madara just keeps his mouth shut. Because he is awesome and not stupid.

Then Hinata literally slaps Naruto in the face and not quite so literally tells him to shinobi-the-frack--up and kick arse.

(Dude, seriously, HOW DID YOU MISS HER your whole life. Ye gods.)

Obito is like "enough talk, now all of the die!"

Pfftahahahahahahahahahaha!

B and Eight-Tails just shoved the Ten-Tail's Beast bomb back down it's own gob! Brilliant!

Why is Hinata glowing red with chakra now with Naruto?

You know, I actually don't care, because there is about (I should bloody hope) to be a righteous arse-kicking about to go down.



That was a difficult episode to watch. And I think, honestly, that I am sort of relieved I knew it was coming at some point, since it meant the shock was already gone and it has had some years for it to settle in.

Doesn't mean I'm not still mega-fracked about it, though.



Those Who Dance in the Shadows

Pahahahahahahahahahaha!

Naruto just buffed the entire shinobi forces!

Madara isn't smirking anymore.

Obito is REALLY peeved.

And for the SECOND time, Obito gets Ino'd. In the words of a famous lagomorphic scholar what a mar... Crap, I keep forgetting I looked up the origin of that phrase and I REALLY shouldn't be using it. you are naughty rabbit Bugs. And he's like "not again!" Yeah, again, fracktard! Go Ino, go Ino, go Ino! Huzzah! Pahahahaha!



One thing I will give Naruto a series credit for. I am not a fan of character death, but Naruto DOES IT RIGHT. Not only does it do it largely sparingly, but it makes it important. And, most importantly of all, it NEVER lets you forget the dead characters, where as most everything else just goes "they died, no-one ever speaks of them again." So we get more reactin' to Neji's death.



Madara's smirking again.

Until buffed-up everyone collectively completely slaps aside Ten-Tail's attacks.

And he and Obito just brick themselves.

Charge of the everyone! (In which Hinata just casually slaps Naruto's dislocated shoulder back into place IN MID AIR because why the frack not?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Combined Shinobi Army no Jutsu Mark 2 just seriously cut two of Ten-Tail's tails off with a combined leapy-slice thing (how even do you DO that?) and Lee and Naruto just snapped Obito and Madara's magic demon-cords while smcking hem miles away to land about to get their arses well and truly (I so hope) well-kicked (before it all goes pear-shaped again...)

Screw you, asshats!

Aaaaand then Sasuke.

Bollocks.

That was just getting interesting and now: brakes.

...

Well, okay. Maybe not entirely, since Roachy is proving HE, at least, can Necromancer. I mean, sacrifice yourself, cut open the death god, gets your soul-arms back (that is just prciously hysterical), kick Zetsu in the shins (six times) and then resurrect yourself AND four Hokages all at the same time. Props, Roachy, props.

We're gonna just get exposition up the wazoo for umpteen episodes again, though, ain't we?



Well.

That were a hell of three episodes, weren't it?

[Rater202]

Basically, you're about to hit a flashback arc where the four Kages explain everything straight and honestly to Sasuke.

[LaZodiac]

Basically, you're about to hit a flashback arc where the four Kages explain everything straight and honestly to Sasuke.

And then proceeds to ignore ALL OF IT.

Also yeah rip Neiji he never scored.

[Rater202]

Oh no, Sasuke doesn't ignore it.

He just learned the wrong lesson from it.

[Lord Raziere]

Yup thats Sasuke in a nutshell: Don't remain static, learn all the wrong lessons.

y'know how Sasuke could've been a better rival? if he knew that his brother was a double agent from the start and decided to follow in his footsteps to be a double agent as well, that he was loyal to the village the whole time, and was simply going along with all the villains around him to find out their plans, feed information to the Fire Village until the right moment to sabotage the villains plan- like REAL ninja would- and thus provide an example of him carrying out his duty in a way that Naruto never could and thus provide a real challenge for Naruto's dream for Hokage by providing someone willing to go that deep undercover to save the world. because as its stands, Sasuke despite his power was never a real rival for Naruto, because he became too much of an enemy to be viable for the position, because everyone was hunting and hating him down at the point where he'd want to BE Hokage.