Weird scenario, just for fun -- what would you do with a satchel of cash?

[Bulldog Psion]

Okay, here's the weird scenario I thought of this morning, actually while chatting with a friend on Skype.

What would you do if you were desperately poor, needed money for a loved one's medical treatment, and you walked out one morning and found a brown paper bag lying in your driveway containing $35,000 in cash (or the equivalent in your local currency)?

My convoluted and paranoid thought process went kind of like this:

1. I'd assume first off that it had something to do with a drug deal by some creeps in the area. I'd figure there was no honest way $35K would end up in a paper bag.

2. My next thought would be that there's a good chance someone unpleasant is going to come looking for it.

3. If I just leave it there, and someone else comes and takes it, they'll blame me if they figured out it was dropped near my house. Thus, if I just leave it lying, and some random person takes it, then the criminals show up, they'll kill me for spending it.

4. With that in mind, I'd probably bring it inside so nobody else would take it. But I couldn't use it, despite the temptation, because someone might show up looking for it.

5. For that reason, I'd probably keep it in a box. If someone showed up looking for it, and knew the bag contents, I'd give it to them, no questions asked.

6. If nobody showed up, and I didn't hear about the money being missing (i.e. no local pensioner lost their life savings, etc.), then I'd be tempted to use it for the medical expenses. But I probably wouldn't, because...

7. It might have been part of some crime sting; if I show up and start using the bills whose serial numbers are known, I'd be fingering myself accidentally as whoever they were trying to "catch in the act" of spending said money. Same if I take it to the cops and turn it in; it would be kind of sticking my neck out. "So you stole it, and now you regret taking it, huh? You have the right to remain silent, jackass..."

So, my conclusion is: if I found $35,000 in cash in a paper bag in my driveway one morning, even if I needed the money desperately, I would keep it for 2 months in a box in the hallway. If nobody showed up to claim it in that time, I would take it and throw it on the roadside somewhere. It would be too big a risk to ever use it, and dicey to keep it (especially with the temptation to use it if things got really bad).

Yes, I would actually throw away a large amount of apparently unwanted cash that I found randomly on my property and that nobody claimed.

What would you guys do?

[factotum]

Difficult one. I would hand it in to the police, I think, because there's no realistic way you could actually *spend* $35k in cash, and it would probably turn out that the bills are marked and you get clapped in jail if you ever try to use them anyway.

[TechnOkami]

Hm...

I'd probably drive over to the police station, explain the situation to them, and then let them deal with the giant bag o' money.

[PoeticDwarf]

Okay, here's the weird scenario I thought of this morning, actually while chatting with a friend on Skype.

What would you do if you were desperately poor, needed money for a loved one's medical treatment, and you walked out one morning and found a brown paper bag lying in your driveway containing $35,000 in cash (or the equivalent in your local currency)?

My convoluted and paranoid thought process went kind of like this:

1. I'd assume first off that it had something to do with a drug deal by some creeps in the area. I'd figure there was no honest way $35K would end up in a paper bag.

2. My next thought would be that there's a good chance someone unpleasant is going to come looking for it.

3. If I just leave it there, and someone else comes and takes it, they'll blame me if they figured out it was dropped near my house. Thus, if I just leave it lying, and some random person takes it, then the criminals show up, they'll kill me for spending it.

4. With that in mind, I'd probably bring it inside so nobody else would take it. But I couldn't use it, despite the temptation, because someone might show up looking for it.

5. For that reason, I'd probably keep it in a box. If someone showed up looking for it, and knew the bag contents, I'd give it to them, no questions asked.

6. If nobody showed up, and I didn't hear about the money being missing (i.e. no local pensioner lost their life savings, etc.), then I'd be tempted to use it for the medical expenses. But I probably wouldn't, because...

7. It might have been part of some crime sting; if I show up and start using the bills whose serial numbers are known, I'd be fingering myself accidentally as whoever they were trying to "catch in the act" of spending said money. Same if I take it to the cops and turn it in; it would be kind of sticking my neck out. "So you stole it, and now you regret taking it, huh? You have the right to remain silent, jackass..."

So, my conclusion is: if I found $35,000 in cash in a paper bag in my driveway one morning, even if I needed the money desperately, I would keep it for 2 months in a box in the hallway. If nobody showed up to claim it in that time, I would take it and throw it on the roadside somewhere. It would be too big a risk to ever use it, and dicey to keep it (especially with the temptation to use it if things got really bad).

Yes, I would actually throw away a large amount of apparently unwanted cash that I found randomly on my property and that nobody claimed.

What would you guys do?

I'd go to the police. I would not spend it because that's not right. Not because I can end up in jail

[Alent]

Hm...

I'd probably drive over to the police station, explain the situation to them, and then let them deal with the giant bag o' money.

This, only I would probably call them to come look at it without ever touching it myself. Tainting evidence is bad.

The upshot to it is that at the end of their investigation, in some territories if no rightful owner is found it rolls back to you. One way or the other, the Police are better equipped to deal with the details and possible mob issues.

I'd just hope they don't try detonating it under the idea it's a boobytrap/IED.

[Insane Trystane]

Hmm... I'd call the police and inquire if someone had reported a large amount of cash, and if not, I might check again after a week before using it. I do strongly believe in doing the "right thing" and turning it in, but I also believe in miracles, so it wouldn't hurt to see which'd be the case in that instance.

EDIT: Oh yeah, bad things also exist, don't they. Then yeah, I'd turn it in to the police, because as much as I'd like to help my family I can't do so from prison.

[Starwulf]

I guess for right now I"m one of the few who would keep it. I live in the middle of nowhere, with pretty much no known drug people within a 30 mile radius of me. I wouldn't spend it immediately, I would wait to see if there were any robbed banks or people reporting a large sum of cash missing, but if nothing shows up in the news within a few weeks, I'd just go to a decent car lot a 100 miles or so away and pay for a new car in cash(since my car is 10+ years old and breaking down constantly). With whatever left I'd fill up my cupboards/fridge/freezer, get my teeth fixed, buy a new couch(ours is now sitting on the floor, ie: no space between the couch and the floor, the legs went kaput). That would probably eat it all up, if there was anything left over I'd set it aside for Christmas for my girls.

[Winter_Wolf]

I've been thinking about it, and if I was in the US I'd probably turn it over to the cops. If it were China, it's mine now. This is all based on my dealings with the law and law enforcement officials in both countries. Any more specific and I know I'd be violating forum rules.

[TheThan]

You mean a suitcase full of pistols and money?

Difficult one. I would hand it in to the police, I think, because there's no realistic way you could actually *spend* $35k in cash, and it would probably turn out that the bills are marked and you get clapped in jail if you ever try to use them anyway.

Agreed. But I know I could spend 35K in cash quite easily.

[NichG]

Speaking of country-specific things, in Japan there's a sort of customary reward equal to 10% of something's value if you find it and return it to the owner. I don't know the degree to which that actually exists in the law here, and most times I've lost items and had them returned the person refused any kind of monetary reward (in the one case in particular, I'd accidentally left my coat with my passport in it in a taxi cab. I called the company, they were able to locate the cab but they told me 'you will have to pay the cost of the taxi trip for your belongings' which of course I agreed to. However, the driver himself refused to accept when I tried to pay that fare). That said, I've also had people tell me about how when their wallet was found and turned in to the police, the finder had already received the 10% at the police station before the owner had actually even come back for the wallet. So...

Yeah, in Japan, notify the police and there's at least some chance that you'd end up with $3500 of it no matter what happens next.

[Peelee]

Difficult one. I would hand it in to the police, I think, because there's no realistic way you could actually *spend* $35k in cash

Look, if you don't think there's any realistic way to spend $35k in cash, you need to get a better heroine dealer.

Conversely, I'd bet I could find a contractor willing to take on the house upgrades I want for cash.

[Bobbybobby99]

I'd get a temporary job as a stripper for a few days, and claim that some random guy threw the money-box at me when I was going to my car. I'd watch the news for a couple weeks, check if any banks had been robbed, that sort of thing; if so, I would sit on the money underneath a floorboard or similar. They likely wouldn't be actively checking that sort of thing after a few years, so then I could have it as an emergency fund. I could also give it back to someone, if needed, and they also likely wouldn't care after a few years.

[factotum]

Look, if you don't think there's any realistic easy to spend $35k in cash, you need to get a better heroine dealer.

But then I'd have to choose whether to go with Lara Croft or Ripley!

[Ebon_Drake]

Setting aside the medical bills aspect, it's a fairly simple case of weighing up the risks versus the reward. In the grand scheme of things, $35k isn't really all that much money. For the average person, it's about 1-3 years' salary: nice, but not exactly life-changing. For me, the risks of pissing off the owner (probably an organised criminal) and/or running foul of the police simply wouldn't be worth it for the sake of gaining $35k. If we were talking more like $350k, then I might consider keeping it - but then, the risks of holding onto the money and the challenges of spending it without getting caught would also increase.

For what to actually do with the money, I'd agree with handing it to the police. It's the right thing to do anyway, but I'd also think there'd be a fairly strong chance that they'd give you some kind of protection in case the money's owner came looking for it. At the very least, I'd hope they'd want to monitor your area to try to catch the people who'd left it.

The medical bills issue is a real kink though. That takes it beyond just being a nebulous sum of money and gives a much stronger benefit of keeping the it beyond just spending it on nice things. If the condition was outright life threatening and I had no other means of paying for it, then I'd be much more tempted to keep it. If time wasn't critical though, I'd probably hang onto it for a month or so first in case anyone came looking for it. If they did, I'd probably hand it over - I'm a coward and a terrible liar!

If nobody came looking for the money, then you'd have the challenge of spending it without arousing suspicion. I have some clear ideas on how I'd go about laundering it, but I expect going into that would be against the forum rules about criminal activity.

[TheThan]

It actually can be life changing.
35K can buy you a new car, hook line and sinker.
35K can pay off medical expenses
35K can pay off student loans
35K can be a huge down payment on a house

I could keep going but you get the idea.

Now 35K may not completely change someone's life like say a million dollars would. But it can certainly change things and improve someone's quality of life; which is certainly life changing.

[Ebon_Drake]

Eh, I'd describe most of those things as life enhancing, not life changing. In theory you could do something like start up a business or fund higher education with it, but I think people are mostly in the mindset of going on a spending spree. Also, good luck laying down $35k cash for a mortgage deposit without any way of explaining how you got it. I suppose becoming a money launderer would count as a life change?

Medical bills were already in the scenario, and I've said that something that extreme could change my attitude on taking advantage of blatantly dirty money. If you've only got six months to live, what've you got to lose? (Hmm, someone should make a TV series about that...)

[Peelee]

in the grand scheme of things, $35k isn't really all that much money. For the average person, it's about 1-3 years' salary: nice, but not exactly life-changing.

Whoah, hold up a second there. I'm assuming you are basing that on worldwide average, but regardless, if $35k is three years' salary, then it's a damn lot of money for that person.

[Insane Trystane]

Eh, I'd describe most of those things as life enhancing, not life changing. In theory you could do something like start up a business or fund higher education with it, but I think people are mostly in the mindset of going on a spending spree. Also, good luck laying down $35k cash for a mortgage deposit without any way of explaining how you got it. I suppose becoming a money launderer would count as a life change?

Medical bills were already in the scenario, and I've said that something that extreme could change my attitude on taking advantage of blatantly dirty money. If you've only got six months to live, what've you got to lose? (Hmm, someone should make a TV series about that...)

35k would be life changing for me. That's like $550 a month I don't have to put towards my student loans (I'm overpaying slightly so as not to accrue extra interest.) I could move out of my parents' house and afford to eat more than ramen.

The amount I'd save in interest itself would be life-changing, but as a young person with their first real job, 35k would let me jump into my "real life" so much sooner, plus save for retirement. I'd call that a life changer.

That said, anyone got 35k they're looking to get rid of?

[JeenLeen]

I'd probably take the bag indoors, research laws about it, then call the cops.

From TV shows (so probably not accurate), I gather that after 'x' days, found money becomes your money.
I would think calling the cops would assure the following:
1) keep me out of any sting operation (though that seems unlikely given the situation)
2) protect me if a if a criminal comes looking for it. If that happens, I can just say that I found some money and turned it into the police station. It's held there for any owners to show up and claim it. If they press me, I could state that the police know I turned it in, so hurting me would just draw additional attention.
3) keep me from getting in trouble if someone later says I stole it

IF it turns out that calling the cops would make me forfeit any claim to the cash, I may reconsider. I'd probably at least talk to some friends in law enforcement about it, to see what they recommend.
That much money wouldn't be life-changing, but it would be rather dramatic. Pay off several loans, get our savings set back up, etc.

[thorgrim29]

I would probably either hide it in my apartment for a month or two (to see if somebody not shady will come for it) then start spending cash and depositing random amounts between 500 and 1000 to my bank account every 2d8 day or call the police. That way I should get through it all in maybe 6 months. My uncle is a cop so I could probably talk it over with him first. I wouldn't be concerned about getting beat up because my area is full of apartments so they could never be sure it was me, and if a band of thugs starts systematically searching every apartment they'll get the police called on them in 15 minutes.

[Tyndmyr]

Difficult one. I would hand it in to the police, I think, because there's no realistic way you could actually *spend* $35k in cash, and it would probably turn out that the bills are marked and you get clapped in jail if you ever try to use them anyway.

Report the found money. If nothing comes of it, and nobody claims it, after a certain time, it's generally yours. Cheers!

A shot at a pile of money with no guilt or pending consequences? That's a good day, in my book. I mean, I'm 100% certain that I would have no difficulty in handling a pile of cash, but I like my life to be nice and simple and aboveboard.

I *have* had this happen with a case of modern masters 2015 that was delivered to me by mistake. That's not $35k, but it's well into "that's worth some money" territory. Promptly notified the sender. It ain't about the money, it's about what I want to do.

[Peelee]

Report the found money. If nothing comes of it, and nobody claims it, after a certain time, it's generally yours. Cheers!

You live in Maryland. Factotum lives in UK. Are you sure about claim?

[Ebon_Drake]

Whoah, hold up a second there. I'm assuming you are basing that on worldwide average, but regardless, if $35k is three years' salary, then it's a damn lot of money for that person.

I'm basing it on the UK average of about £25k ($35k) per annum, as that's where I live and it also happens to be roughly what I earn. I'd assume the average income in the rest of the developed world would be fairly similar. A quick look at stats for income in the USA seems to bear that out. It's actually more like 1 year's salary going by the averages, but the scenario said we're poor so I based it on the lower end of the scale - about 3 years of full time employment at minimum wage.

Even if we just said it was legitimate money that you'd come into (inheritance or something) so there's no issues with spending it freely, I think you'd be really surprised by how little you can actually get for that kind of money. It'd be very tempting to spend it on luxuries like overseas vacations, nice cars, TVs, electronics etc, but if you did that you'd find it'd disappear very rapidly. As far as I can see, the best options for using it to actually make meaningful lasting changes to your life would be to clear/reduce any debts with it to free up your actual disposable income, or to invest it - either in the bonds/stocks-and-shares kind of sense or in the sense of facilitating a career change in some way. You'd have to be very savvy about doing that though, it'd be all to easy to squander it.

That said, I'm the worst person to ask about how I'd spend a large amount of money because I'll freely admit I'm insanely frugal. If someone handed me £35k tomorrow, I can honestly say all I'd do with it is take it to the bank and add it to the pile I'm saving to buy a house *Yawn*. If people can think of all kinds of cool and exciting things to do with the money, I say go for it.

[Velaryon]

In the listed scenario where I'm desperately poor and a loved one needs expensive medical treatment, I'm taking the money and using it on those bills. My loved ones' life matters more to me than who the money rightfully belongs to. Heck, for all I know an anonymous benefactor left it there on purpose.

Take the medical situation out of the equation though, and my answer changes drastically. At that point I pull out my phone, call the cops, and stand there to make sure nothing happens to the bag until they get there. As tempting as it would be to finish paying off my student loans or put a down payment on a condo or something, it's not worth the risk of getting into trouble, legal or otherwise.

[TheThan]

Now if this was an action movie scenario. I would take the money use it to pay for those medical expenses then spend the rest of the film fighting off the mafia or Yakuza or whatever criminal organization that happens to have lost their money.

granted I'd also have combat training and be hard boiled enough to look awesome.

[Artemis97]

Assuming I go through the whole "call the cops and make sure it's not stolen" rigamarole, 35k would be a real nice thing to have. I could pay off my student loans and medical bills and have a nice amount left over. If I'm smart, I'd invest it, but since we're talking magically appearing cash, I'll take my boyfriend and I on a trip to Egypt or something like that. Fly first class, get a nice hotel, arrange a fancy tour of the pyramids. It'd be a real nice time.

[Tvtyrant]

If I was living where I do now, I would turn it in as I live with other people.

If I was living in an apartment alone, I would immediately move and take it with me. 35K would be enough to get me through grad school and survive until I get a career going, instead of having to take any jobs that come near me and hope to stumble upon one I like somewhere in my 30s.

[Starwulf]

I'm basing it on the UK average of about £25k ($35k) per annum, as that's where I live and it also happens to be roughly what I earn. I'd assume the average income in the rest of the developed world would be fairly similar. A quick look at stats for income in the USA seems to bear that out. It's actually more like 1 year's salary going by the averages, but the scenario said we're poor so I based it on the lower end of the scale - about 3 years of full time employment at minimum wage.

Even if we just said it was legitimate money that you'd come into (inheritance or something) so there's no issues with spending it freely, I think you'd be really surprised by how little you can actually get for that kind of money. It'd be very tempting to spend it on luxuries like overseas vacations, nice cars, TVs, electronics etc, but if you did that you'd find it'd disappear very rapidly. As far as I can see, the best options for using it to actually make meaningful lasting changes to your life would be to clear/reduce any debts with it to free up your actual disposable income, or to invest it - either in the bonds/stocks-and-shares kind of sense or in the sense of facilitating a career change in some way. You'd have to be very savvy about doing that though, it'd be all to easy to squander it.

That said, I'm the worst person to ask about how I'd spend a large amount of money because I'll freely admit I'm insanely frugal. If someone handed me £35k tomorrow, I can honestly say all I'd do with it is take it to the bank and add it to the pile I'm saving to buy a house *Yawn*. If people can think of all kinds of cool and exciting things to do with the money, I say go for it.

I can't think of any poor people that would go out and frivolously fritter away 35k in cash on vacations and stuff, and that includes myself. Most people(that I know anyways) that are poor, aren't poor because of lack of education or lack of motivation, there are other circumstances involved(such as my disability of a broken back). That kind of poor person generally is much smarter when it comes to money. I can safely say I wouldn't spend the money on anything frivolous.

As I said in my first post: New Car(our car is 11 years old, and just about finished at this point, constantly having things go wrong with it), have my teeth fixed(due to bad hygiene when I was younger, I have many nasty cavities, thankfully I've staved off more serious damage by adopting very rigorous hygiene practices for the last 5 years), stock my cupboards with food(food stamps are nowhere near enough to feed a family of four, and definitely not enough to do so in a healthy manner), buy a new couch(this is the absolute "worst" purchase we'd make) because ours is literally falling apart. Pay off my parents the money they've helped us with(see previous mention of car constantly breaking down). See if we could get the leak fixed in our room, tired of mold growing in the ceiling. The rest would go into the bank. I doubt I'd even so much as buy a book with the money at this point. So yeah, 100% absolutely life-changing.

[factotum]

I can't think of any poor people that would go out and frivolously fritter away 35k in cash on vacations and stuff, and that includes myself.

It's happened. There was a couple who won the pools in the UK back in the 60s, and who famously said they were going to "Spend, spend, spend!"--and they did. Burned through all the money in a couple of years, as I recall. It was so famous they made a musical about it:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spend_Spend_Spend

[Jay R]

I might begin by trying to get advice from a group of people anonymously - perhaps on a forum where I am only known by an alias.

Ummmm...

Is this really a hypothetical question?