What's on the Shelf: 1001 Essays, Treatises, and Books on Magic

[FreddyNoNose]

Looks like Rockphed skipped a number, so our last entry is:

How about fixing that with
1353) The undetectable book!

[Uncle Pine]

1371) Caring for Fairies for Fun and Profit
1372) Kythrian Astrology for Bumfuzzled by Urial Thressek
1373) The Complete Pock-Speckled Guide To Effing Countercursing by Sloe-Eyed Ji'lam

[Lvl 2 Expert]

1374) The hidden world: Guide to the rare arts of physics and chemistry. Describes some pretty outlandish concepts and natural powers that might one day enable us to make everburning candlesticks and self moving horses.

EDIT: Although I guess most horses move themselves. I could replace it with carriages, but it's probably funnier to leave it like this.

[Lord Torath]

How about fixing that with
1353) The undetectable book!

It's already been fixed with an extra 1358, but we can still include that title if you'd like. Something along the lines of The Invisible Book of Invisibility^TM?
If so, it would be entry 1375.

[robnar]

1364.) The Savagery of Management

This is hilarious.

[Bohandas]

1376.) A Brief History of Space
1377.) The Future of the Past
EDIT:
1378.) The Death Of the Cosmos
1379.) Lo and Behold!
1380.) The Book of the Darned
1381.) The Magic of Magic
1382.) A Brief History of the Dreamtime
1383.) Death Up Close
1384.) Why Nothing Matters
1386.) Lexicon of Gramarye
1387.) Nootropic Birds of the World
1388.) Animal Undeath
1389.) Letters To An Ignorant Nation
1390.) Philosophy in the Bathroom
1391.) We, The Dead
1392.) The Book of Sparkles
1393.) The Treatise Of Infinite Impostors
1394.) An Unusual Faith
1395.) Polluted Body, Polluted Mind
1396.) Her Eaten Children
1397.) Myths to Die For
1398.) The Inevitables: Understanding the Technological Forces That Order the World
1399.) The Book of Abominable Devices
1400.) Chaining The Moon
1401.) Cognitive Deficit
1402.) The Age of Enlightened Machines
1403.) The Book of Insidious Devices

[Bohandas]

1404.) The Stannic Bible [sic]
1405.) Conquest and Control
1406.) No Place to Run
1407.) The Quintessence of Decision
1408.) The Fate of the Sun
1409.) Voices From Hell
1410.) The Adamantium Files
1411.) The Conquest of Interstallar Spaces
1412.) Paramilitary Communications
1414.) On The Nature of Air Smithing (De Re Aerosmith)
1415.) When Sorcery Fails

[Bohandas]

1416.) Innocents In The Hands of A Mad God

EDIT:
1417.) God In The Drunk Tank
1418.) 666 Poems
1419.) The Elementary Quanta of Solace
1420.) While Gods Sleep
1421.) The Old Book of Improbable Cats
1422.) Yellowpages of Lecan

EDJT:

1423.) A Is For Abominatiom

EDIT;

1424.) Blacklist of Threatened Species

[Bohandas]

1425.) The Five People You Meet In Hell
1426.) The Symbolism of Lawful Evil
1427.) The Seven Basic Schemes
1428.) Supernecronomics
1429.) The Freakonomicon
1430.) Fear And Loathing: A How-To Guide

[Lentrax]

1431. Coping With Forced Polymorphs and You, Vol I. So, You’re A Different Gender Now.

[Rockphed]

1431. Coping With Forced Polymorphs and You, Vol I. So, You’re A Different Gender Now.

1432. Coping With Forced Polymorphs and You, Vol II. On the gaining and losing of mass.
1433. Coping With Forced Polymorphs and You, Vol III. Spines: who needs them anyway.
1434. Coping With Forced Polymorphs and You, Vol IV. Senses both mundane and magical.
1435. Coping With Forced Polymorphs and You, Vol V. Just because you enjoy your new form, doesn't mean revenge is off the table.

[Bohandas]

1436.) Encyclopedia Satannica

(I can't decide if it should be "Satannica" or "Satanica")

[Resileaf]

1436.) Encyclopedia Satannica

(I can't decide if it should be "Satannica" or "Satanica")

"Satinica". The wizard picked the wrong book and now he has an encyclopedia on all things textile.
For added hillarity points, it's the most well-read book of his entire library.

[Lord Torath]

Okay, sure! Due to some numbering errors, we're currently at:

1434: Encyclopedia Satannica - A Comprehensive Exploration of Devils and their Domains
1435: Encyclopedia Satinica - The wizard picked the wrong book and now he has an encyclopedia on all things textile. For added hillarity points, it's the most well-read book of his entire library.

[Dalinale]

1436: Made In Faerûn: Coping To A Cosmic Economy
1437: Reincarnation And It's Principles Relating To Native Planar Species
1438: Self-Annihilation And You

[Bohandas]

1439.) The Book of the Comatose

EDIT:

1440.) Archfiend's Almanac
1441.) Fiendish Factbook

EDIT:

1442.) 101 Ways to Skin A Cat

[Bohandas]

1443.) The Book of the Terminally Ill

[Rockphed]

1443.) The Book of the Terminally Ill

1444.) The Book of the Unborn
1445.) The Book of the Terminally Bored
1446.) The Book of Those Who Were Killed in Ping Pong Accidents on the Last Tuesday in May
1447.) How to Kill With Books

[Lord Raziere]

1448: Talking Mimic Management
1449: Paths To Immortality, The Best And the Worst
1450: How To Spot A Magic Item Con Artist.

[Bohandas]

1451.) Optimization of Morphokinesthetics for Intense and Dangerous Activities (this is a book written by and for changeling adventurers and others with shapeshifting powers, in which it is concluded that the standard image of an epic hero as either a big beefcake guy or a large breasted woman are not practical forms for adventurers and others engaging in rigorous physical activity, and that the ideal form is in fact a small chested petite woman - as they present a smaller target and don't have anything flopping around and getting in he way - or else a something very much like a kobold, for the same reasons)

EDIT;

1452.) The Book of the Deaf
1453.) The Book of the Dead Tired

[Bohandas]

1454.) The Book of the Formerly Living
1455.) Liberation Through Lockpicking in the Intermediate State
1456.) The Book of Coming Forth Out Of The Closet

EDIT:

1457.) Chicken Soup For The Devil
1458.) The Idiot's Guide to Dummies
1459.) Chicken Soup For The Damned

[Lord Torath]

1459.) Chicken Soup Gor The Damned

I'm going to assume that should be "Chicken Soup for the Damned". Let me know if Gor the Damned is a particular character in your campaign, and I need to fix this.

[Rockphed]

1456.) The Book of Coming Forth Out Of The Closet

1460.) Extradimensional Spaces: On Closets, Wardrobes, and Hammers
1461.) The Tiger, The Tower, and the Tornado
1462.) Rule by Extradimensional Mortals
1463.) The Voyage of the Dusk Riser
1464.) The Plural of Apocalypse: How to Play World Ending Events Off Each Other for Fun and Profit
1465.) Chased by an Elephant: An Enchanter's How-to Guide
1466.) The Ultimate Preposterously Long Winded Sequipedalian Nature of Loquacious Academics That Rise in the Morning to Debate Until Dawn Is Herein Expounded and Explained For All With Ears to Hear and Eyes to See and Minds to Understand. Let None Therefore Be Not Warned!
1467.) Concision

[Knaight]

I'm going to assume that should be "Chicken Soup for the Damned". Let me know if Gor the Damned is a particular character in your campaign, and I need to fix this.

Either that or a character named Chicken Soup Gor. It's maybe less classic fantasy than Gor the Damned, but it's also more memorable. Maybe he's a warrior who gets sick a lot or something.

[Wraith]

1468) The Iron Grimoire - It's literally an otherwise untitled book with a cast iron cover, held closed by a very heavy brass lock. The key has long since been lost, but the corrosion and rust along the spine and a weight greater than one would expect even from it's unusual bindings, suggests that it's probably better that way.

1469) The Infernal Contraption - A Treatise on the Astrolabic Interactions of the Demonic and Devilish Planes
1470) How to Make Fiends and Influence People. That's not a typo.
1471) The Mirror of Smoke, authored by G.Ravenor. (If you have THAT one on your shelf, your universe is probably more screwed up than anyone could ever imagine....)
1472) Trust Nothing - The Amateur's Guide to Mimic Hunting. The first page reads "By having read the title and opened this book, you have already failed in your first lesson."
1473) Anticip- (Vol.I) - Have a wild guess what Vol.II is entitled?

[Bohandas]

I'm going to assume that should be "Chicken Soup for the Damned". Let me know if Gor the Damned is a particular character in your campaign, and I need to fix this.

Yes, it's a typo.

I don't use autocorrect on my phone because it leads to worse typos where instead of the obvious word being off by one letter it gets replaced by a completely different word that wasn't intended because the autocorrect program isn't very bright.

[Rockphed]

1473) Anticip- (Vol.I) - Have a wild guess what Vol.II is entitled?

Is the proper way to read both books to open them to the same page and read one line in vol I followed by the same line in vol II?

[Bohandas]

I think Volume 2 is a bunch of Rocky Horror fans yelling "Say it" and we don;t get to "-pation" intil volume 3

[Bohandas]

1474.) Deceptions and the Deceiving Devils Who Deal Them
1475.) The Myth of the Rational Congregant
1476.) Vol. 1 Addendum: Say It

[khadgar567]

1478.) gold paper and the con how to guide con your local bank.
1479.) royal rumble the rovanugs title deffence