Bard related puns

[Mozill Marshal]

Hi

Because of the ranks dashing swordsman Elan has took would Bard themed puns work?

Some I've thought of

"Bard news travels fast"

"SORRY to be the bard of bad news"

Some is a stretch as there's only two but can you guys think of any?

[hamishspence]

Makes trouble in a tavern. The bartender glares at him and says "You're bard!"

[Peelee]

You're bard from making these kind of jokes.

Makes trouble in a tavern. The bartender glares at him and says "You're bard!"

DAMMIT, MAN.

[Vinyadan]

If you don't cut your bard, it will itch.

Barding won't make your horse sing, but you can always add some bells.

"I still have a bard up my sleeve!"

How do you call a fat bard? Lard.

How do you call a protective bard? A ward.

How do you call a halfling bard? A yard.

[Uigeadaily]

“I’m working on a new song. You any good at decomposing?”

“I’m not a verse to getting mixed up in such troubadour!”

“Perhaps this will "a-muse" you?”

“You just got skald-ed!”



YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

[Peelee]

All the bards I've known were immune to lightning. They were terrible conductors.

[Euclidodese]

As a Bard, master of musical magic, I'm always trying to keep composed, I guess the key, D-Major thing, is to not let any musical birds interrupt me, such as an owl, or kestrel and I'll be instrumental in that. And this is definitely the real me, not some phony ... Well that's horn-estly the best I can do, how about you players, can you trump it?

[Jaxzan Proditor]

Without bards, life would B flat.

[Ebon_Drake]

"SORRY to be the bearer of bard news"

FTFY. There's nothing worse than a bard pun.

[One Step Two]

I love puns! Keep in mind, it's more difficult to make use of puns when people are bard of hearing. But for any punster good wordplay is your bard and butter. You need to keep an open mind and not be a-verse to any different changes in tone of the jokes you make. Sometimes it will make people think you're Harp-ing on, but you just need to keept at it. Don't let anyone call you on a poorly used pun, they're usually a Lyre, you need to keep on the Ballad. Once upon a time, everyone enjoyed storytelling and song puns too!
Also, when focusing on Bard puns, don't be afraid to branch a little, there's of course more than enough famous bards than you can Shakespere at, and they can be quite Hearty, and leave people pretty Burns'd! (Though it might be hard for people to pick up the Patterson, and they will lay down the Lawson)
And if you can spin a good enough tale, you can keep going for One Thousand and One Nights.

Well, I think I've given enough examples for people to Lute from if they feel the need, so I think I'll end my song there, and bow out.

[RighteousWarior]

These are pretty good. Okay, I'll take a shot at it.

It's pretty Bard not to break a sympho knee when you're fighting the Orc, Estra.

Okay, we're done here.

[Savil]

Where does a bard keep his clothes? In his bardrobe.

[KorvinStarmast]

Bards join adventuring groups for one reason: the lute.

The most senior official at a musical college is the Chairman of the Bard.

Brads are sometimes confused for thieves by barbarians, who ask if their key will open a locked door.

Anytime the group wants to negotiate a sale of items, they send in the bard: he's a perfect pitch man.

[keybounce]

If a bard were to play baseball, would they throw the perfect pitch?

[Aedilred]

What's a bard's favourite prison?
I don't have the heart to finish this joke.

What happened when the bard got into hot water?
He skalded himself.

[Onyavar]

Brads are sometimes confused for thieves by barbarians, who ask if their key will open a locked door.

Inspired by Korvin:


What's the difference between a bard and a brat?
There is one?

[SZbNAhL]

So you're looking to lute our puns, are you? I suppose it would be a cymbal of our helpfulness if we pitched in. I can't exactly help for free, but these ones are going for a song. Actually, no, I'll change my tune and let you have them without a pebble on the scale, just to maintain harmony on the forum.

[monomer]

Dweomer? I bardly know 'er!