Parenthood, am I right?

[Zigwat]

So, I'm kind of a new father. My daughter is now 7 months old, and I need to tell all of you something. Every single thing anyone says about how babies change your life in EVERY WAY is absolutely true. This is good, bad, ugly and everything in between. Anyone who says they are ready to be the best parent in the world is lying their asses off. You can prepare all you want, and read all of the books, getting all of the advice from everyone, but in the end, you need to experience it to see what it is truly like.

Still, it is strange to think about how much your child changes over time. It is just so amazing to see that their personality is starting to develop, as well as their voice, and their physical appearance. I'm only seven months into this, and I've already felt the full barrage of emotions in a very powerful manner. Everytime I turn around, she's changed in some way. She's very tall for a 7 month old at around 28''.

And I know this is only the beginning, soon she'll be talking, and standing up and walking around. I'll have to baby proof the whole house and set up barriers so she doesn't hurt herself or destroy our stuff. To think that soon, we will be able to mold her into a proper human being... so many things... so many.

I mean, isn't it kind of cruel to have her birthed into this world, not knowing that it's a really terrible, dangerous place? It's just a mystery how humans work, but it's also a joy to see it happen before your eyes.

How about you? Any parents out there?

[Jay R]

I mean, isn't it kind of cruel to have her birthed into this world, not knowing that it's a really terrible, dangerous place?

It is not merely a "really terrible, dangerous place". It is a magical, glorious place with some really terrible, dangerous parts.

"Nobody cries more than old folks at the death of a child, and this alone proves that life is good."

[Kid Jake]

I hate kids and I always have. I can't stand their sticky hands, their shrill voices set me on edge and their complete lack of common sense coupled with their idiotic enthusiasm about everything that comes into their head makes me nervous just to be around them. I've spent my whole life avoiding them and my disgust is so palpable that children usually cry and scramble away from me.

And you're completely right. They change you.

Just over 4 years ago my first niece was born, I never wanted anything to do with her but her mom wasn't equipped to raise the kid by herself so I'd pitch in where I could. I ended up moving out of state a few months later for a variety of reasons and she apparently started crying constantly; making it hard for her mom to find a sitter so that she could actually work and support them. I wasn't quite an hour off, so when she got desperate enough I told her to leave the kid with me; crying bugs me but I can put up with it if need be. The thing of it was though, she never cried.

Not a peep. She'd gotten used to my voice as a newborn and just me being nearby was enough to shut her up. So her mom started leaving her with me while she worked. Kid was easy enough to keep from killing itself so I didn't mind it much and it wasn't supposed to be a long term solution. But then the cost in gas for driving a state over for babysitting started piling up; so she just started leaving her with me for the entire work week. Eventually the kid grew more attached to my place than her mom's and would cry to 'go home' when she was with her mom on the weekends. So, they started having to settle for visits.

For 2 years I pretty much raised the kid alone and it surprised me just how much I enjoyed it. Sharing stuff that I remembered loving as a kid; watching simple things blow her mind. It's just amazing to watch a person being formed in front of your eyes...

I eventually moved in with my sister so that she could actually see her kid every day and then when her hours became less ridiculous/a place opened up I moved down the street. Where I've now had a second niece from a second sister thrust on me for a whole different set of reasons.

You never know what to expect day by day. As corny as it sounds, it's really an adventure. Will it be hilarious? (Both of them had trouble with my name when they started talking, so they settled for calling me Amy. The oldest one is scared of clowns and Bigfoot, but doesn't believe that clowns are real. Etc... ) Will it be horrifying? (Today the oldest one knocked the little one off a chair split her lip so bad it needed stitches. So I had to convince a screaming, blood soaked toddler with meat hanging out of her face that there was absolutely nothing wrong long enough to get it tended to...and the kid believed me because somehow I'm the adult now.) You just have no way of knowing.

It's also kind of sobering to realize just how much of an a-hole I am when I hear that a four year old said something like "We're all dying, some people just do it quicker than others." or "Santa Claus is just a lie that cheap parents tell stupid children so that they'll listen to them one month out of the year." to one of her friends/cousins/neighbors.

[Brother Oni]

It's also kind of sobering to realize just how much of an a-hole I am when I hear that a four year old said something like "We're all dying, some people just do it quicker than others." or "Santa Claus is just a lie that cheap parents tell stupid children so that they'll listen to them one month out of the year." to one of her friends/cousins/neighbors.

That's half the fun of being the uncle or aunt - you get to teach them twisted things and watch their parents deal with the fallout.

My mother's favourite picture of her grand-daughter is her at ~4 months old, peering out confused from inside a laundry basket full of dirty clothes because my sister thought it would be funny to dump her there. I was less impressed with the time when two of my daughter's aunts (my sister and sister in law) decide to paint her up as a drag queen clown and send me a picture while I was employed two counties over.

[MannHugo]

It is a uniquely terrifying yet gratifying experience to be charged with helping another human being shape their future, as well as being responsible for their care and their every need. However, you are right. It changes you in so many ways and these are not always positive traits. It shows you the highs of joy and the depths of frustration. There are those who choose to gush on all the positive aspects that it brigns to someones life and choose to ignore the negative traits it shows us about ourselves. In my opinion, this is not a really good thing to do, simply because the entire experience is benficial, even if you do not think so at first.

I do not have kids of my own, but i was blessed to watch my nephews grow up and its an experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. It showed me just how hard it is to be a parent and it also showed me how weird kids can be lol. But they are a true joy.

I always questioned whether I would want to be a parent simply because I fear not being able to give my child every opportunity that they deserve in this world and that wouldn't be their fault. They didn't ask to be here, that was a decision that was made without their consent, they were merely thrust into the void and told "Do something with your life". That is probably the hardest thing for any person to do and as a parent you are burdened with making sure that your child does not fall under the weight of that mantle.

Parenthood is tough, but goodluck to all those out there making it work.

[Bulldog Psion]

I mean, isn't it kind of cruel to have her birthed into this world, not knowing that it's a really terrible, dangerous place? It's just a mystery how humans work, but it's also a joy to see it happen before your eyes.

Actually, it's a lot less dangerous than it once was ... and as for terrible ... well, every grand and beautiful thing is also that. Beyond my personal difficulties, my response to the world is Nietsche's "everlasting Yes."

So, I guess that's my bizarre, roundabout way of saying congratulations to you, and welcome to the new sapient.

[Ruslan]

And I know this is only the beginning, soon she'll be talking, and standing up and walking around.

Remember this: for the first two years, you'll be teaching your children to walk and talk. Then you will spend the rest of your life trying to teach them to sit down and shut up.

[Lycanthrope13]

If you think it's great now, just wait. My son is 3, and nothing compares to the feeling of coming home from work and getting a big running hug, with him yelling, "Daddy! I missed you!" No matter how crummy my day has been, it always makes me smile. Just a few minutes ago, he came running up to my wife and I and said, "I wrote a song! Want to hear it?" Naturally, we said yes, so he ran and got his little toy guitar and started strumming and singing and dancing. It was adorable. I won't lie, sometimes you will want to smack them, but most of the time, they will simply amaze the hell out of you.

[Starwulf]

If you think it's great now, just wait. My son is 3, and nothing compares to the feeling of coming home from work and getting a big running hug, with him yelling, "Daddy! I missed you!" No matter how crummy my day has been, it always makes me smile. Just a few minutes ago, he came running up to my wife and I and said, "I wrote a song! Want to hear it?" Naturally, we said yes, so he ran and got his little toy guitar and started strumming and singing and dancing. It was adorable. I won't lie, sometimes you will want to smack them, but most of the time, they will simply amaze the hell out of you.

And then they hit about age 11 and start driving you insane with their back-talk and the typical attitude of "Pthp, you don't know anything, but I know everything". My oldest is going into that phase, she acts like we can't understand ANYTHING she has to deal with, despite the fact me and my wife are only 15 years separated from highschool ourselves(well, 16 for me, but only 13 for my wife). Her "boyfriend" just had to move and broke up with her, and she keeps going on and on about how her life is over and yadda yadda yadda. I'm like "Honey, you're only 12, you're in the 7th grade. You have no clue what real love is. You hadn't even kissed the boy yet. You'll be over this in less then a week", but she insisted she wouldn't be. That was 3 days ago, and she's already bounced back tremendously, but if I called her on it I'm damn sure she'd pretend like she was still devastated just to be contrary.

[Eldariel]

I mean, isn't it kind of cruel to have her birthed into this world, not knowing that it's a really terrible, dangerous place?

Life is a mysterious, wonderful thing. All the horrors and suffering, gargantuan though they may be and mostly products of the very same life, pale in comparison to all the good in this world. Being a pessimist is easy, of course, and makes one feel vindicated and appear intelligent when something horrible happens (as is wont to). I posit it may be worth it to go the extra mile and cast away those shackles though.

The very miracle of existing, and all the beautiful, ephemeral experiences and things in this world are things one can appreciate and marvel if one so chooses. Not to mention, all the accomplishments of life as a phenomenon are rather glorious to behold. And then at the end lies the solemn kindness of death to ultimately bring about the end of this journey and all its suffering as well as beauty - no matter how horribly things turn out, anguish isn't eternal either. While the living often treat the living horribly (by what morality we have created anyways), and to live is ultimately to live off other living things, all the good in a life makes it worth it in my books.