101 flavorful and mechanically useless equipment quirks

[Kami2awa]

Unnerving? Looking at the blade and seeing your own reflection is normal.

51. The weapon casts no shadow.

Or it's invisible, except for its shadow...

[Anderlith]

Why is the human a rose and the elf a dandelion? Why are orcs daisies?

No real reason. Thought it would be interesting. Something along the lines of elves being dandilion eaters, i wanted to avoid ugly weeds or plants with orcs, & thought onion sprouts would be inventive for dwarves since they do flower, they are a root vegetable, & it was amusing .

[Archpaladin Zousha]

112. The dwarf who forged this sword expertly carved several notches and perforations along the blade, carefully tuning it to "sing" by the air passing over it as it's swung, and so it rings clearly and beautifully when it strikes shield or armor.

[Barhandar]

* This Nordic shield has an insult appear on its inner side whenever the wielder takes a strike on the shield head-on, as opposed to glancing and redirecting it. It's about a third covered in writing.

* If you put this, otherwise completely ordinary, drinking horn to your ear, instead of the pseudo-noises of the sea you will hear sounds of an arbitrary point in the ocean two meters over sea level.

* This metal helmet, if turned upside-down and placed over a fire, always heats evenly and does not heat the rim past 20*°C.

* A candle that burns even when upside-down without dripping wax, with the color of the flame being dependent on the angle between candle and vertical. Otherwise extinguished like an ordinary candle.

[Celestia]

This sword is soft and drooping, like a leather belt. The blade stiffens after being rubbed and can thereafter be used normally until sheathed.

[LordCdrMilitant]

This silver blade is marked by dull gold runes. If wielded by a paladin or cleric of a good-aligned deity, the runes will glow brightly when she attacks, and fade slowly afterwords over the course of about 30 seconds. They are searingly hot when lit, but otherwise have no effect.

This rifle is made entirely of brass and iron, with spinning cogwork visible through vents in its frame.

This circlet is made of interlaced silver bands. One band, however, is a bundle of braided copper electrical wire with red rubber insulation, it's ends soldered together at the back.

This suit of full plate armor has a black box, about 1" by 2", on its chest. It's current owner will re-live the final fight of its previous owner while she sleeps at night.

[hymer]

This blade has faint runes etched into it. It spells in dwarvish: "Help, I'm trapped in a weapon smithy."

[LokiRagnarok]

This bedroll always adjusts its upper part into a pillow which is exactly as fluffy and big as you prefer. (Sleep in the bedroll is no more or less restful than in a usual bedroll).

This armor looks like it is affected by the weather in a far away place X instead of where you are. It may look like the sun shines on it despite the rain over your head, or will look wet during sunny times because it rains in X.

This armor has the same effect as above, but X is always set to your current destination so you know what the weather is like there ahead of time.

When this sword is drawn outside of battle, the wielder sees a random vision of a glorious moment fought with this sword. The criteria for "glorious" adjust to the wielder - a swashbuckler may see a particularly athletic moment, while a paladin may see the victory over a big evil.
On the hilt there is an inscription: "People forget, weapons remember."

[Barhandar]

* This melee weapon makes unrelated noises (such as birds chirping, wood cracking, etc) instead of the appropriate swoosh when swung. The noises are of same volume as the normal swooshes.

* This composite bow is uncomfortably warm, and slightly damp to the touch. It periodically tenses by itself, the bone parts sometimes have small fractures that quickly heal, giving them a slightly patchwork appearance, and the wood parts have visible sap running through them at appropriate times of year.

* This silver-polished breastplate reflects a modified version of the one looking and nothing else. Damage to the breastplate results in the reflection having appropriately damaged appearance, such as having scars for scratches, bruises for dents, old age for armor losing polish, et cetera.

* This lantern has a handle fit for being gripped by the mouth, instead by the hand.

[noob]

* This hat somehow always looks like a hat even when when transformed in something else.

[thelifeofapanca]

Wow great posts thx guys!

[Anderlith]

The plain unassuming mirror reflects back a better more inspiring version of whoever looks at it. It doesn't show the viewer any grand lies, but they might see their hair better arranged, thier clothes better fitted, their teeth straighter, their posture straighter & their waist slimmer. Many are compelled to be better people after seeing themselves in the mirror

[Skelechicken]

34) A small set of runes count down every time the weapon takes a life, at zero they reset to 255.

This is diabolical and I love it. My players would be so convinced some Grand Reward was coming when they finally hit zero. For it to just reset... I'm getting ideas

* Every night while the party is asleep or not looking a small row of clay figures appears by the wielder of this sword resembling everything the sword killed the previous day.

* While wielding this weapon, the wielder will sometimes hear their own name in a sharp whisper right behind them. This does not happen at critical junctures in combat scenarios or any scenario where the distraction may prove harmful.

* While wearing this armor people will assume the wearer is better at gambling. There is no reasonable explanation for this belief as the wearer is no more capable of winning at any games of chance than before the armor was donned, but they will be regarded as a force to be reckoned with at any gaming table.

[Rockphed]

* While wearing this armor people will assume the wearer is better at gambling. There is no reasonable explanation for this belief as the wearer is no more capable of winning at any games of chance than before the armor was donned, but they will be regarded as a force to be reckoned with at any gaming table.

Sounds either really good or really bad for poker.

* This ring of protection from elements has one stone for each element. The last one it protected from glows brighter than the rest.

[Anderlith]

This armor can be reconfigured into a small but comfortable chair with a small stand attached for taking notes or meals on.

This books rewrites everything written in it by a clear & legible hand

[DuctTapeKatar]

* These lockpicks moan sexually as they are used -- just quietly enough to irritate the user without alarming anyone in the vicinity.

* This wakizashi's blade is mottled black-on-red, with glowing yellow particles running between the onyx blotches. Its sheath is decorated as such.

* This gargantuan mace says "bonk" whenever it strikes a person's head. Does not matter how hard or softly.

* This saddle greets whatever backside is placed upon it with small vibrations for a couple of seconds. Perfect for practical jokes.

* A disembodied hand is attached to the end of this quarterstaff. It seems to be alive, albeit still being a floppy, disembodied hand that does not reply to any orders, spells, or anything trying to get it to move.

* This bag of holding always spits out a snicker's bar along with whatever is drawn from it once per day. Not that filling, though.

* This pair of embarrassingly tight, black leather pants follows its owner no matter where they go, bounding down with the sole purpose of being worn. Whoever kills the owner inherits this pair of pants, which will always fit.

* This pair of black gloves make cartoon "pows!" and "whams!" whenever they are used to punch someone.

* This helmet forces whoever wears it to make a poorly done Batman impression, making it incredibly clear who is behind the visor.

* This vest says "Oh, yeah..." whenever it is taken off accompanied by deep bass and sexy music.

[SomeNerd]

* This article of clothing is entirely impossible to describe; descriptions will be along the lines of "it's kinda floppy... scarf-ish... thing" or "the color? i think it was... like... a reddish-cyan?". These properties do not apply to the wearer.

* As this crossbow fires bolts, it carves its target's name into them. It uses it's wielder's knowledge to carve this name, which is not guaranteed to be correct.

* This bag of holding makes a loud slurping noise whenever something is put into it, followed by a lip-smacking noise and an 'ahhh'. It additionally makes a vomiting noise when objects are taken out of it.

* People who see this scabbard will be absolutely convinced that it is, in fact, a sheath.

* Tapping on this tower shield twice in succession will cause it to say "Who's there?".

[Anderlith]

This weapon has a brass hand instead of hilt or guard when wielded the hand animates to clasps the wielder. The wielder suffers no penalty for an awkward grip. When sheathed or stored it offers a heartfelt "Well Done" in a proper English accent.

[walfulninja]

*This sword tastes vaguely of strawberries

*This sword plays a long, random piano note whenever it is swung

[Braininthejar2]

The haft of this halberd is covered with bands of metal and runic inscriptions - it seems to be a used-up and repurposed wizard's staff.

This snakeskin belt is made from a whole taxidermied snake, with metal fangs serving as a locking mechanism (press both eye gems at the same time to unlock)

[Concrete]

This bag of holding s made from a preserved snake's head, and any small rodent put into it will be lost forever.

This short spear looks almost exactly like a musket with an affixed bayonet, but on closer inspection, the gun is actually painted wood, as if it's creator had studied a musket, but didn't understand its function.

[Barhandar]

* This blindfold, when worn, makes the wearer perceive the night-sky's twinkling stars instead of the inner surface of the blindfold (closing the eyes works to stop it), as if all obstacles but atmospheric turbulence between the wearer and the stars have vanished - looking down will make them see the stars that are currently in the nadir.
** The sky need not match their current world's.

* This otherwise completely ordinary weapon looks like a hole in spacetime showing starry sky. Stars are different depending on what angle you look from, but they're entirely unfamiliar.

* This wooden cudgel, if buried in the ground for a year, will grow into a willow tree sapling.

[Hazrond]

95. Whenever this sword is tossed into the air such that it lands in an empty square, it always lands point-down and, if able, embeds itself into the ground. It can be freely removed, and is not damaged by the process.

I'd make a ton of these just for the animemes. They'd also make a good bombardment weapon since theyy always land face down.

[Barhandar]

I'd make a ton of these just for the animemes. They'd also make a good bombardment weapon since theyy always land face down.

They only land point-down in empty squares, i.e. not on top of the enemy. They're bad bombardment weapon, but pretty good terror weapon.

[Braininthejar2]

* This club is made from a smooth round stone attached to a human femur - it isn't nearly as brittle as it looks.

* This spear is a single piece of polished hardwood, covered in gruesome carvings that glow faint green when brandished at the enemy.

* This scimitar is made of wood, with the edge lined with shark teeth. They slowly grow back if chipped.

* This magical sap is a bag of coins - the coins are varied, and some of them depict kings that are clearly not human.

[Rerem115]

*When the command word is spoken, the object will recite loudly, in Common, the wielder's full name and all nicknames.

*This suit of armor can only be described as "holy"; it has holy symbols from every religion you know, and quite a few you don't, inscribed all over it, inside and out.

*This shield is covered with a strange grid. While it functions as a normal shield while wielded, when placed on the ground, it turns into a square gaming table, complete with legs and translucent tokens.

[Milodiah]

*Whenever the weapon is brandished at someone pleading for their life, the wielder hears a commanding voice in his head pass judgement upon the target. It does not explain why the target deserves to live or die, nor does it magically compel the wielder to abide by its decision.

**A small number of stinging insects frequently crawl across the surface of this bag; they sometimes, but not always, sting people other than the owner who are rummaging through the bag.

***A small handbell whose pitch and tone somehow seem to convey the current emotional state of anyone who rings it.

****Several coin sized crystals which all glow with a faint amber light whenever one of them is being moved. If more than one is moving, their light shines proportionally brighter.

*****A portrait sized piece of artistic canvas, with elaborate runes in gold leaf enlaid across the edges. If laid upon someone's face and pressed down methodically, it creates a well-drawn charcoal sketch of their likeness, which fades over time if it is removed from their presence.

[Velaryon]

*This magical bag, which is lined inside and out with fur, seems to breathe gently while it's open. When it's first opened up, it coughs once or twice before resuming its slow and steady breathing.

**This breastplate looks normal until it's worn. Once you put it on, it turns itself and the wearer's entire torso (but not the rest of their body) invisible.

***This staff has a small ornament on top that looks like a weather vane, but it does not respond to the wind. Instead, it seems to turn (or not) of its own accord, with no discernible cause.

****This bow is made of glass, but otherwise acts like it's made from a normal wood (bends when drawn, etc.).

*****This sword has runes engraved on the blade in an ancient, near-forgotten language. However, every time the blade is drawn, the runes will be different. Anyone who can read it will discover that all the different writings are lines from an ancient epic saga, seemingly chosen at random - the lines and verses are not sequential, nor are they typically relevant to the wielder's current situation.

...actually, I really like that last one. I might use it someday myself.

[Bohandas]

A small portion of the item is invisible in such a way as to spell out the name of the person who enchanted it, as if the words had been etched into of the item, except no material has actually been removed, just made invisible

[Concrete]

This heavy black tower shield depicts a stylized face with a large, square-toothed open maw and blankly staring white eyes.
The more humanoids the wearer kills, the more tiny stylized humanoids appear in the maw, drawn in white, seemingly trying desperately to claw their way out. Other humanoids are seen in the image, drawn in red, seemingly suffering the same fate. One of them looks vaguely like the creature you just looted the shield from.
The crudely drawn pastoral scenes on the inside of the shield, however, never change.


These magical sling bullets have an eye etched into them, which seems to close after having hit an enemy.


The pattern of this fine braided sling depicts a stylized moon in moonlight, and a sun in sunlight, looking completely plain in any other light.


This bucket helm appears to have been made from a bronze bell, inscribed with holy symbols. If the padding is removed, it still rings quite clearly.