An Enemy Spy Reads The Wheel of Time II: Randy's Horny Hunt

[Wookieetank]

Before this thread I had no idea that they had changed something in the books. I guess that makes me a "Rand was careless with harp first!" fan.

Han shot first!!!

[An Enemy Spy]

Chapter 27: The Shadow in the Night
Ooh, foreboding!

Loial enters a game of dice with Dena and it's clear that she's a hustler, letting him win for a while and then crushing him. Rather than ripping her arms off, Loial is shocked by the mere possibility that Dena could have been cheating. Loial is that special sort of idealist who should never be allowed at any gambling table, because he'll leave with nothing left but his underwear. Dena calls it a little lesson.

Rand and Loial leave the inn with lighter pockets than when they came in, but hey, at least they can still see the sights of the city. They're a pair of swinging bachelors with nothing to do but wait for Ingtar. It's a beautiful evening, and Cairhien is alive with celebration of... well something. Look, there's one of those festive trolloc street puppets. It's quite a good puppet, in fact. Actually, if I didn't know better I'd say... oh ****! Acting more on reflex than thought, Rand whips out his blade and the monster that's far too tough to go down to a few swings of a sword goes down to a swing of the sword. The Darkfriends who had been pretending to puppeteer the Trolloc realize that Trollocs only go down that easily when it's a Main Character swinging the sword and wisely turn tail and run. They're making minimum wage here, let someone who has an actual name deal with this(Do Trollocs even have names?).

If Trollocs are in the city, that means that the Horn of Valere is in danger, and it's being guarded by someone who isn't a main character! They have to get back as fast as th-urk! Turns out that Trolloc's not quite as dead as we thought. It lifts Rand into the air to kill him, but Rand also has a big hairy monster in his court, and Loial wrestles the Trollocs arms away. They fight each other while Rand tries to stick the Trolloc with his sword, but Loial keeps getting in his way. Finally, Loial smashes the Trolloc headfirst into a wall and snaps its neck. Loial has saved the day, but he's disturbed by his actions. He's never killed anything before, and now that he has he doesn't like the way it feels. They don't have time to reflect on that though. Another Trolloc "puppet" is already bearing down on them, and they need to get moving.

They're in an empty part of Foregate right now, which explains why their battle against a supposedly mythical beast didn't seem to cause much of a stir. Once they get to the crowds, the Darkfriends won't dare follow them with the Trollocs. They run through the narrow winding streets, trying to reach the jovial throngs, but the Darkfriends keep cutting them off. They're being herded farther and farther away from the main streets, and our heroes are running out of places to go. They're right on the edge of town now, and Rand sees a big house on a hill with a strong wall around it and figures that the Trollocs won't be able to follow them there. That's the Illuminator's chapter house, Loial says. The Illuminators are very secretive and won't let anyone into their building. And suddenly Selene steps out from around a corner and calls Rand a wuss for letting himself get herded around by Trollocs. Selene is there because... shut up, there's nothing suspicious at about her. She says they just need to sneak into the chapter house instead of asking to be let in. Great men don't get invited into places, they sneak around the back and hide in the bushes. Rand doesn't care about greatness, but he does care about not being eaten by Trollocs, so he goes along with her plan. They go to the back door, and Selene pulls it open despite the fact that a secretive order like the Illuminators really would have kept that door locked, but Rand's not in the right state of mind right now to notice details like that, and Selene's influence might actually keep him from spotting all the inconsistencies that surround her like flies around a corpse.

It's better to be arrested by Illuminators than killed by Trollocs, Rand says. Yeah, I was trying to get to that, Loial says. See, the Illuminators kill anyone they catch sneaking into their building. Oh. Well, at least they probably don't eat you. They sneaky-sneak around and find a whole bunch of fireworks set up. Well, I can't see how this lead to anything but a completely inconspicuous and uneventful escape, can you? They go to the other side to get back into town, and Loial bumps into a stack of smoking sticks and knocks them over, which just happen to fall and hit some fuses, which light up and, oh dear.

What's more, when our heroes look around the wall, there's three Trollocs hiding in an alleyway, and an Illuminator is looking out a window. If they move, they're going to be seen, and they can't stick around here after they just blew up enough fireworks to destroy an aircraft carrier. Rand has an idea though. The takes some smoke sticks and a big fireworks tube, points it at the trollocs and lights it.

The Trollocs are gone. The wall is gone. Most of the building is gone. Wowza, those are some badass fireworks. Selene is gone too. Not because she got blown up, she just got bored and left, apparently. Rand and Loial take off and run before a whole mess of people can show up to stop the fires spreading from that massive explosion. When they get back to the inn, there's a letter waiting for Rand from Selene saying that she's leaving because everytime she thinks he knows what he's doing, he does something else, and he's a dangerous man. She wants him to think about her, and think about being Great. Selene is weird.

[georgie_leech]

Hooray, he's back!

Not a lot to comment on story content, but I really appreciate the time to find the perfect youtube videos to link.

[Douglas]

(Do Trollocs even have names?)

There's that Narg fellow from the al'Thor farm back in Eye of the World. He went down to a single sword blow from an untrained wielder, though, so he's hardly a shining example of Trolloc competence.

[An Enemy Spy]

There's that Narg fellow from the al'Thor farm back in Eye of the World. He went down to a single sword blow from an untrained wielder, though, so he's hardly a shining example of Trolloc competence.

Oh Narg, what a dummy he was. Couldn't even talk properly like a real Trolloc, just made a bunch of human noises.

[Anteros]

You guys just don't appreciate Narg's brilliance. You see, he was playing dead to lure Rand back to the house and it worked so well that he decided to keep doing it. It's only a matter of time until the whole cast is lured into his trap.

[Ninja_Prawn]

Do Trollocs even have names?

Considering that Myrddraal don't have names, I think we can put Narg down as early episode weirdness.

[Seerow]

They go to the other side to get back into town, and Loial bumps into a stack of smoking sticks and knocks them over, which just happen to fall and hit some fuses, which light up and, oh dear.

In retrospect this is probably the single most ta'veren thing that happened in the series.

[Adderbane]

In retrospect this is probably the single most ta'veren thing that happened in the series.

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Just look at how much of Mat's storyline is tied into this one accident.

[ryuplaneswalker]

In retrospect this is probably the single most ta'veren thing that happened in the series.

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What about the time that Mat closed his eyes and spun around at random and went into the first shop he pointed at to find where Tuon went.

Also the time that Mat's luck worked on fixed dice.

[Traab]

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What about the time that Mat closed his eyes and spun around at random and went into the first shop he pointed at to find where Tuon went.

Also the time that Mat's luck worked on fixed dice.

I swear that first one was the author trolling us all.

[Psyren]

It lifts Rand into the air to kill him, but Rand also has a big hairy monster in his court, and Loial wrestles the Trollocs arms away. They fight each other while Rand tries to stick the Trolloc with his sword, but Loial keeps getting in his way. Finally, Loial smashes the Trolloc headfirst into a wall and snaps its neck. Loial has saved the day, but he's disturbed by his actions. He's never killed anything before, and now that he has he doesn't like the way it feels. They don't have time to reflect on that though. Another Trolloc "puppet" is already bearing down on them, and they need to get moving.

You missed (or at least didn't call out) an important part here. Rand wasn't just trying to use his sword; this also represents one of the key few times at this stage of the story where he actively tries to channel (then as ever, to save his friends.) And he fails, repeatedly, while also scooping up more taint. This is relevant to his thought processes later on.

Great men don't get invited into places, they sneak around the back and hide in the bushes.

The Trollocs are gone. The wall is gone. Most of the building is gone. Wowza, those are some badass fireworks. Selene is gone too. Not because she got blown up, she just got bored and left, apparently. Rand and Loial take off and run before a whole mess of people can show up to stop the fires spreading from that massive explosion. When they get back to the inn, there's a letter waiting for Rand from Selene saying that she's leaving because everytime she thinks he knows what he's doing, he does something else, and he's a dangerous man. She wants him to think about her, and think about being Great. Selene is weird.

Man, you don't know the half of it. She's a raging female id. Eris and Hera could take lessons. Takhisis, Shar and Beshaba be like "that chick is crazy." Tiamat be like "calm down, you're all over the place."

In retrospect this is probably the single most ta'veren thing that happened in the series.

Mine is easily:

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JesusRand walking into the Hall of the Tower, shielded by a full circle of 13 - and marching right back out again, knowing their shield was completely irrelevant. Also, getting a room full of Aes Sedai to shut up.

[Seerow]

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What about the time that Mat closed his eyes and spun around at random and went into the first shop he pointed at to find where Tuon went.

Also the time that Mat's luck worked on fixed dice.

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I consider Mat's luck separate from his ta'vereness. I realize they're linked to some degree, but I consider the luck more akin to Rand's Channeling or Perrins' Wolf Brothering; a super power that he got because he is ta'veren, not a side effect of ta'veren. Otherwise we'd have to assume both Perrin and Rand could do the exact same things Mat pulls off, they just never think to... and I doubt that is the case.

So Mat being allowed to go to Rhuidan and get the memories? Totally ta'veren. Mat spinning around to create random chance and enter the correct shop? SuperLuck.

[Psyren]

@ Mat:

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His ta'veren-ness ended up getting him an additional superpower, which nobody knew about until the very end of AMOL.

[Ninja_Prawn]

Tiamat be like "calm down, you're all over the place."

"It's like she's got five different personalities, all arguing with each other or something!"

[ryuplaneswalker]

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I consider Mat's luck separate from his ta'vereness. I realize they're linked to some degree, but I consider the luck more akin to Rand's Channeling or Perrins' Wolf Brothering; a super power that he got because he is ta'veren, not a side effect of ta'veren. Otherwise we'd have to assume both Perrin and Rand could do the exact same things Mat pulls off, they just never think to... and I doubt that is the case.

So Mat being allowed to go to Rhuidan and get the memories? Totally ta'veren. Mat spinning around to create random chance and enter the correct shop? SuperLuck.

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We don't actually know that though. We don't know if Mat loses his luck after AMOL.

[lord_khaine]

Mine is easily:

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Also, getting a room full of Aes Sedai to shut up.

Very hard to argue with this..

[ryuplaneswalker]

See I never attributed that to Ta'veren and more to

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Rand hitting a level of pure Zen that he radiated "I am not a person you want to screw with." sort of like how when he was negotiating with Yuon pre-dragon mount she could fully feel his insanity and trying to force the pattern.

[georgie_leech]

See I never attributed that to Ta'veren and more to

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Rand hitting a level of pure Zen that he radiated "I am not a person you want to screw with." sort of like how when he was negotiating with Yuon pre-dragon mount she could fully feel his insanity and trying to force the pattern.

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When have the Aes Sedai ever let an inconsequential little thing like good sense get in the way of arguing?

[ryuplaneswalker]

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When have the Aes Sedai ever let an inconsequential little thing like good sense get in the way of arguing?

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Usually when someone very obviously takes charge by sheer force of personality and will they will all fall in line behind them. There is an Aes Sedai that outright admits it somewhere in the series too.

[Anteros]

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We don't actually know that though. We don't know if Mat loses his luck after AMOL.

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We don't know but I think it's a very reasonable assumption that it's separate considering that none of the other Ta'veren who show up in the series have this power. Birgitte thinks his luck is strange too, and she's in a position to know given that she personally remembers every hero of the horn.

Mat himself considers it seperate, although I'm not sure that means anything.


I wonder if any of Mat's memories are from previous Ta'veren. You'd think he would have a few given the nature of the memories, but it's never mentioned.

[ryuplaneswalker]

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I wonder if any of Mat's memories are from previous Ta'veren. You'd think he would have a few given the nature of the memories, but it's never mentioned.

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I don't think so. Tav'eren are supposed to be incredibly rare. Moraine was astounded that all 3 of the boys were Tav'eren when Loial realized it.

The reason I think Mat's luck might be a Tav'eren thing is because it generally forces him into the situations he needs to be in.

Such as "Randomly buying a Ring while stalking a Darkfriend gets him a Ring that makes Tuon interested in him."

[Seerow]

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I don't think so. Tav'eren are supposed to be incredibly rare. Moraine was astounded that all 3 of the boys were Tav'eren when Loial realized it.

The reason I think Mat's luck might be a Tav'eren thing is because it generally forces him into the situations he needs to be in.

Such as "Randomly buying a Ring while stalking a Darkfriend gets him a Ring that makes Tuon interested in him."

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And not just randomly choosing to buy a ring, but randomly buying a ring because while pretending to be interested as a cover, it gets stuck on your finger until literally the second you pay for it.

[lord_khaine]

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Why do people think it was his luck that got him stuck on that ring though, and not just him being Ta'veren?
It caused him a lot of grief, but placed him on the path that the pattern wanted him to be on.

As for his memories, i belive it was said, and has been supported by a lot of evidence, that what he got were the memories the Elfin had collected from other people walking though the door.
Its generally great leaders or warlords who had access to such a treasure, and so a lot of his memories is about war.

[Traab]

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Why do people think it was his luck that got him stuck on that ring though, and not just him being Ta'veren?
It caused him a lot of grief, but placed him on the path that the pattern wanted him to be on.

As for his memories, i belive it was said, and has been supported by a lot of evidence, that what he got were the memories the Elfin had collected from other people walking though the door.
Its generally great leaders or warlords who had access to such a treasure, and so a lot of his memories is about war.

Really? I just presumed

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it was of his past lives. Like he got to remember the stuff from his previous incarnations or some such thing.

[Douglas]

Really? I just presumed

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it was of his past lives. Like he got to remember the stuff from his previous incarnations or some such thing.

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No, it's a bunch of memories they happened to have on hand from various other people who visited them one way or another. Mat demanded that the holes in his memory be filled, so they filled the holes with what was available. That's a direct answer from Robert Jordan when someone asked him about it, and it's also noted in the books that he's got memories from people who were alive at the same time as each other - even memories from both sides of the same battle - so it couldn't possibly be just past lives.

As for how this can be true despite various people's dying moments being included, well, Mat himself wonders about that at some point in one of the books. His theory is that they attached some kind of connection to each person that they could use to access memories wherever the person went afterwards. He's even worried that such a connection to him might warn them that he's coming.

[Seerow]

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Why do people think it was his luck that got him stuck on that ring though, and not just him being Ta'veren?
It caused him a lot of grief, but placed him on the path that the pattern wanted him to be on.

As for his memories, i belive it was said, and has been supported by a lot of evidence, that what he got were the memories the Elfin had collected from other people walking though the door.
Its generally great leaders or warlords who had access to such a treasure, and so a lot of his memories is about war.

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Sorry for the confusion, I do actually associate the ring with ta'veren.

[An Enemy Spy]

Seahawks win a preseason game! 19-0, baby! Tanner McEvoy is the GOAT!

Anyway, sorry my updates have gotten rather sparse recently. Between my mom moving out of my house, my work schedule, and the fact that I haven't been feeling good, it's been hard to find the motivation. But football is finally back and with my spirits have risen like the mighty pheonix, so here I am. From here on until this book is finished I will try to post a chapter at least every two days.

Chapter 28: A New Thread in the Pattern

Perrin's wolf senses have finally gotten the column to Kinslayer's Dagger, which means that they aren't too far behind Rand, though I bet they won't arrive in time to stop the Horn from being stolen back. There's still quite a bit of book to go, after all, and unless Robert Jordan is gonna J.R.R. Tolkien it and just add hundreds of pages after the main quest has already been completed, I'm betting there's still some drama left to be found here.

The wolves tell him that there are people up on the mountain, but since wolves don't give a crap about humans, he doesn't know if they're the Darkfriends or not, but come on, who else would be up there? Ingtar ain't happy with the incomplete information though. He's getting antsy and he just has to get that Horn. Perrin's already told him everything he knows ten times, and Ingtars demanding him to tell it all again. Ingtar is a pretty high energy guy, but he seems to getting a little obsessed, and in fantasy stories you have to watch out for the obsessed guy. There's usually something going on with them. Luckily for Ingtar, this series already has a Gollum, so he probably doesn't have to worry about that happening to him.

They've come across the dead Trollocs from Rand's encounter with them, and the wolves refer to Rand as Shadowkiller, which is either really cool or the type of name a thirteen year old would give his original Sonic character because he thinks it sounds cool. Nothing is cool after it's been associated with Sonic. Seriously, google [your name] the Hedgehog and post the results on this thread.

Look at this thing. LOOK AT IT!

Perrin and Ingtar of course don't realize that this is Rand they're talking about, which is good because Perrin would be totes jelly that Rand got a better Wolfnet username than he did.

Uno comes back to the column and tells them that he saw an Aielman, which means that the man wanted him to see him because Aielmen are better than you at everything, and there's definitely other ones hiding somewhere nearby. I wonder what the story would look like if you replaced every instance of the word Aiel with Elf. I'll have to try that. It could be funny. The guy shows up and a couple of the Shienarians immediately try to ride him down, but before the Aielman can effortlessly kill them to show off just how superior he is to the decadent westerners, Ingtar shouts them down with his voice that would make a dead man stand up and salute.

The Aielman's name is Urien of the Two Towers sept of the Reyn Aiel, which must be an absolute bitch to fit on a business card, and Mat and Perrin can't help but notice how much he looks like Rand. What, all Aiel look the same to you? That's racist. He's here because he wants to talk to Verin. The Aiel don't have Aes Sedai, but they do have the Wise Ones, who are basically their version of it. There's a place called Rhuidean where men and women go to be judged by the Jenn Aiel. There's quite a bit of exposition about the Aiel culture here and I'm sure the Wheel of Time wiki would give you a much better explanation of it than I could here. Suffice it to say that Urion can tell Verin is a channeler by her ageless look. Anyway, he tells her the reason he and his unseen compatriots are here is that they are looking for Rand. I mean, not specifically for Rand, they don't even know who he is. They're looking for someone from the west who is of their blood and that he'll go to the Rhuidean and lead the Aiel out of the Waste(or the Three Fold Land as they call it. I mean, who would call they're own homeland the Waste? Aside from Clevelanders of course.) and he will conquer under the symbol of the Aes Sedai.

Now that he's delivered his exposition, Urion takes off and the column continues on its way, taking off their armor so as not to look like an invading force in Cairhienian territory.

[Lethologica]

Nothing is cool after it's been associated with Sonic. Seriously, google [your name] the Hedgehog and post the results on this thread.

Funnily enough, my real photo is apparently more closely associated with "<real name> the hedgehog" by Google than with my real name alone. This is probably a bad sign.

[Douglas]

As I recall, there's a bit of misinterpretation of Rand's wolf name going on around this point in the story - Ingtar thinks it means a killer who is of the shadow, when the real meaning is the one who kills the shadow. Wolves apparently have extremely good mystical senses, somehow identifying the true Dragon Reborn on first sight. If Aiel are the Special Super Humans, wolves are definitely the Special Super Animals of the series.

And of course the ever-incompetent Idiots Who Wear White Cloaks somehow have it as a basic article of faith that wolves are universally evil.