how to recruit local female gamers to increase group diversity

[Mr Beer]

So a girl pee'd in your oatmeal one day, and now all girls are suspected oatmeal pee inners.

Cool story I guess.

I'm willing to bet that somewhere there is a Craiglist ad asking for someone fitting this description.

[2D8HP]

So a girl pee'd in your oatmeal one day, and now all girls are suspected oatmeal pee inners.

So that's the cause of cooties! Who knew? This explains so much! I should have heeded the warnings I heard in Kindergarten!

(Back to seriousness)

To the OP, if your SO is working all those hours, what this seems like is thar she misses her female friend, and is maybe just a little tired of "the guys" (some of us guys, such as myself are pretty annoying). It's nice that your looking out for her, but instead of finding her a buddy maybe there's ways you can free up some time for her? Errands, rides etc.

[Acanous]

I'm actually in agreement that this isn't your problem. Not for the same reasons, you still have a problem, just "how to recruit women" isn't it.
Its cool you want to create a friendly and open environment for your players, but if the *only* female at the table is your SO? It's going to be hella off-putting to potential candidates. When your SO is new? That's worse.

So here's what I propose. Recruit someone experienced with the game who gets along well with your group. If that person is female, great! If not, you have a cohesive group that can have fun and teach your SO by inclusion, without hand holding.

Once she's more comfortable with the system and has some good stories about the game, *she will recruit a female friend on her own.*
Because they will have heard about the good times and want to check it out.

It sucks that you lost your other female member, but if you show her that it doesn't matter whats between the legs, only whats on paper you'll be building a better game culture.

[Madbox]

Here's an idea for a non-creepy ad, although it will require a bit of work on your part.

Post something along the lines of "Local gaming group looking for new member. We are losing one member, and are looking for someone who fits our group dynamic to join up. We are a group of X guys and 1 girl, and are into GoT, etc etc. Send an email to [email protected] with your name, general interests, and favored play style (hack n slash, political intrigue, megadungeons, etc), and we'll let you know what we think!"

You don't need to specify that your "dynamic" is another girl, and can just tell any dudes that they aren't quite what you were looking for. Downside is that you'll have to go through any number of applicants.

[Phoenixguard09]

I'm actually in agreement that this isn't your problem. Not for the same reasons, you still have a problem, just "how to recruit women" isn't it.
Its cool you want to create a friendly and open environment for your players, but if the *only* female at the table is your SO? It's going to be hella off-putting to potential candidates. When your SO is new? That's worse.

So here's what I propose. Recruit someone experienced with the game who gets along well with your group. If that person is female, great! If not, you have a cohesive group that can have fun and teach your SO by inclusion, without hand holding.

Once she's more comfortable with the system and has some good stories about the game, *she will recruit a female friend on her own.*
Because they will have heard about the good times and want to check it out.

It sucks that you lost your other female member, but if you show her that it doesn't matter whats between the legs, only whats on paper you'll be building a better game culture.

This. What I was trying to get at, but I got sidetracked in a drunken rant. Good stuff Acanous.

[Elvenoutrider]

I wanted to thank every... well most of you for your contributions. Its not exactly an easy topic and its one with a wide range of opinions that can escalate to difficult disagreements. Diversity in the hobby is not an easy topic to discuss and I appreciate those that put themselves out there. Another one of my players gave me a courtesy notice that he would be leaving in the next few weeks because he just got a new part time research job he wants to devote time to. he said if he finds a way to work it into his schedule after he gets used to the new work load he wants to rejoin but no promises. Because of this I asked another friend - huge history and fantasy/ sci fi buff to play and he actually says he may know a girl who would join.

Failing that, we have some time so we are going to try to run a session or two at the local game stores and my female player is either going to write or edit a post on gaming forums and craigslist to recruit. We agreed we wanted someone who would get along with us first, into the hobby second, and female third. If no female presents themselves, we grab another player. If we find an available female player at a later date, I am capable of running a 6 player party given that I have designed most of my encounters to involve both a boss enemy and some mooks - its easy enough to add more mooks or a lieutenant to all of my encounters to balance out the cr

Frustratingly enough the other player leaving hurts our diversity in other ways but I'm just taking what I'm going to get at this point rather than open up a whole new can of worms.

Still open to more advice and discussion if anyone wants to throw anything else in.

[othaero]

If you make flyers try to include a photo of your group. That way it seems less creepy. You will probably need every advantage

[ComaVision]

If you make flyers try to include a photo of your group. That way it seems less creepy. You will probably need every advantage

Or more creepy, depends on your group.

[Honest Tiefling]

I'm late to the party, but I'll chime in. Firstly, if I was a minority, I sure as heck would not appreciate being recruited only for my minority status, not my actual gameplay style. Also, super creepy dude.

I think the real issue is not increasing diversity. I think it is why your SO is uncomfortable around a table of only men. Are they cracking dirty jokes? Scratching their balls? Talking about the merits of peeing standing up? What are they doing that is so 'boy's club' and not 'inclusive social activity'. Because face it, you've got a pool of less then what, 20 people most likely? You're not getting diversity with that sort of numbers. So I say, address the real issue, instead of potentially getting yourself kicked out of the gamestore. Why is your SO uncomfortable, and how do you broach it?

I am going to second this, it is far better to have a table full of dudes that get along then an inclusive diverse group that have completely different desires. If you pass over completely good players because they have a meat and veg between their legs, you are doing your table a disservice. Especially if you have to settle for someone who is not a great fit for your table because they happen to be female.

[DRD1812]

I've actually got a resource for you: nearbygamers.com

Create an account, enter your location, and find nearby gamers. In keeping with the spirit of this thread, it's usually a bit like dating. "Hey, your profile seems interesting. Want to get a coffee and see if we're into the same kinds of plastic polyhedrons?"

Good luck, and happy gaming.