Silly Childhood Misconceptions on Fantasy Elements?

[Grey Watcher]

Kids think up the craziest things sometimes, for no real reason other than that they're kids. That's part of why we love them so much.

So what're some of the wackiest theories and silliest misconceptions about elements common to fantasy and fantasy gaming that your young self, your own children, or other kids you've known pulled out of seemingly nowhere?

I'll start with myself. I really have no idea what inspired my brain to assume this and miss the most obvious choice, but for some reason, it took me watching my first R-rated vampire movie (at the tender age of... Actually, I don't remember, but I had to have been at least 9) to realize that vampires just use their teeth to make incisions and then drink the flowing blood in the normal swallowing methods. It blew my mind when I finally realized that, because I'd spent my whole experience with vampires working off the much weirder assumption that they drank more like four-pronged mosquitos, with their teeth having little tubes in them that sucked the blood directly out of your bloodstream. To this day, I'm both confused by what I was thinking, and cautiously optimistic about the idea of someday implementing insectoid vampires into a game.

Alright, you guys' turn!

Honestly, it didn't occur to me that the "multi-pronged humanoid mosquito" thing WASN'T how it worked until today. If nothing else, it accounts for how there's never any sign of spillage, which I think would be inevitable with the puncture-then-suck-and-swallow-like-a-living-human-would method.

Plus I figure that vampires don't metabolize blood the way we do food, so the digestive tract is essentially vestigial.

[Belac93]

I used the assume the syringe-vampire thing as well. It makes way more sense, anyway.

I used to have a very narrow view of witches, because my Oma convinced me that she was one. I thought that witches were very nice people, who kept slugs as pets, and always had a cowardly cat and a mean cat. I also thought that they had 2 brooms, made all of wood, one for flying and one for sweeping. I thought that they all had hooked noses, and that they all originally came from Germany.

I also used to wonder why minotaurs lived in mazes, because I thought their horns would get stuck on the walls.

[Lacuna Caster]

I also used to wonder why minotaurs lived in mazes, because I thought their horns would get stuck on the walls.

I know, right? ERGONOMICS PEOPLE.

[bulbaquil]

I used to think that:
- syringe vampires as has been frequently stated;
- griffins and pegasi were the same thing;
- hydras were creatures that showed up in plains and rocky terrain, because the hydra in Disney's Hercules wasn't in a swamp, and I associated "snakes" with rattlesnakes and arid regions;
- the 17th century Caribbean Sea and Atlantic Ocean were populated exclusively by pirates and the Virginia Company (which ran the slave trade), with the exception of the Mayflower. On that note, I believed slavery didn't exist anywhere between the fall of the Roman Empire and the colonial era.
- town guards and medieval prisons anywhere all looked like the ones from Aladdin;
- elves always wore green (I blame the Santa elves);
- Europe was bigger in medieval times (not figuratively due to travel limitations, but literally) because they had to have room for all the duchies and kingdoms that "no longer exist". (i.e.: "Tuscany" was some no-longer-existing location between the modern border of France and the modern border of Italy, not part of modern-day Italy.)
- ghosts always wore ethereal white sheets so that everyone could know they were there;
- zombies always looked and acted like ReDeads in Ocarina of Time

[Malimar]

When I first read Lord of the Rings (long before the movies - I'm old) I got the idea in my head that Boromir was a fat elf. That made his presence in the text sort of incoherent, because I kept making assumptions about Gondor, Faramir, etc based on their connection to Boromir... who I knew was a tubby elf-guy.

Before the movies, I used to picture Elrond as tubby. No idea why.

[Kami2awa]

- Europe was bigger in medieval times (not figuratively due to travel limitations, but literally) because they had to have room for all the duchies and kingdoms that "no longer exist". (i.e.: "Tuscany" was some no-longer-existing location between the modern border of France and the modern border of Italy, not part of modern-day Italy.)

That would be a rather fun way to hide "lost worlds". Robert Rankin's stories use a similar idea for the Forbidden Zones - they are the parts of a flat map which are lost when trying to wrap the (projected) map onto a globe of the same scale.

There is also an idea called the Mandela Effect, where commonly held memories don't match reality. A common manifestation of this is that people remember maps of the world being different in the past, even down to the location of islands like Sri Lanka. IRL this is probably due to different map projections, inaccurate maps and poor memory, but believers in the Mandela Effect believe that history is actually changing...

- ghosts always wore ethereal white sheets so that everyone could know they were there;

Though if ghosts were an optical phenomenon like a hologram, as has been suggested in the past, white would be the colour most likely to show up well. In future perhaps there'll be a lot of ghosts in high-vis jackets.

[enderlord99]

Uh... This actually is the first I've heard of vampires not having syringe-fangs...

Same here. I'm twenty years old; you?

[Bestigle]

Um.. I still think the syringe teeth makes the most sense.

Anyway, when I was little, I listened to LotR on tape, and I spent the first two books thinking Merry and Pippin were girls. I thought that all dragons wore gemstones like armor (thanks Tolkein) as well. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why, if centaur blood poisoned Heracles, how come they didn't poison themselves, and I tried to figure out why a well-tender would want Odin's eyeball, whether it was because he needed an eyeball (and subsequently, I thought that you could use someone else's eyeball in pinch) or if it was because he liked pirates.

[LooseCannoneer]

Woudl it help save the image if the glass had little coloured paper umberellas in it and bat-shaped ice cubes?

I was personally imagining one of those hot pink silly straws with the loops.

[nedz]

+1 to the hollow teeth, though Vampire Bats do bite and lap.

Also, bugbears had Pumpkin heads.

[Thrudd]

+1 to the hollow teeth, though Vampire Bats do bite and lap.

Also, bugbears had Pumpkin heads.

I thought goblins had pumpkin heads, especially the Great Goblin described as having a huge head, when the Hobbit was first read to me as a small child. I associated goblins with something that comes out on halloween, and halloween with jack'o'lanterns, and naturally the Great Goblin must have connected with the Great Pumpkin somewhere in my 5 year old head.

[nedz]

I thought goblins had pumpkin heads, especially the Great Goblin described as having a huge head, when the Hobbit was first read to me as a small child. I associated goblins with something that comes out on halloween, and halloween with jack'o'lanterns, and naturally the Great Goblin must have connected with the Great Pumpkin somewhere in my 5 year old head.

It was an OD&D reference - seriously

[bulbaquil]

That would be a rather fun way to hide "lost worlds". Robert Rankin's stories use a similar idea for the Forbidden Zones - they are the parts of a flat map which are lost when trying to wrap the (projected) map onto a globe of the same scale.

There is also an idea called the Mandela Effect, where commonly held memories don't match reality. A common manifestation of this is that people remember maps of the world being different in the past, even down to the location of islands like Sri Lanka. IRL this is probably due to different map projections, inaccurate maps and poor memory, but believers in the Mandela Effect believe that history is actually changing...

My campaign setting does something similar if for no other meta-reason than to make the equirectangular projection equidistant at any latitude. The world, seen from e.g. a moon, is a sphere, but due to the confluence of ley lines (the in-universe explanation), space is magically warped as you approach the poles - passing through the pole still deposits you on the other side of the map as normal, but stand even one 5-foot-square away and walk due east or west and it'll take you just as much time to go from longitude line to longitude line as it would on the equator.

As a "Berenstein"-er, I sympathize with the Mandela Effect - I'd imagine that a setting with time travelers might well have situations where the "ripple effect" doesn't fully parse when history changes, and leaves behind echoes of the history that no longer is. (In fact, something like that is arguably necessary in order for there to be "timecops" or any other way of knowing the history you're in isn't the correct one; otherwise, even the timecops' memories and records would be changed.)

[LooseCannoneer]

As a "Berenstein"-er, I sympathize with the Mandela Effect - I'd imagine that a setting with time travelers might well have situations where the "ripple effect" doesn't fully parse when history changes, and leaves behind echoes of the history that no longer is. (In fact, something like that is arguably necessary in order for there to be "timecops" or any other way of knowing the history you're in isn't the correct one; otherwise, even the timecops' memories and records would be changed.)

Continuum has something like that in the frag system where everyone who is affected by a paradox takes frag and goes insane as time is pulling them to fix it. This allows the player characters a way to weaken other narcissists (enemy time travellers) with minor edits without making every single spanner (time traveller) mad at you, just remember to fix the paradox once you've bagged the narcissist.

This also allows for interesting stacking of fragging yourself so you can frag yourself safely by blocking an unfixable frag, while editing your memories so that you think the unfixable frag happened when you went back to watch it.

[Sith_Happens]

+1 to the hollow teeth, though Vampire Bats do bite and lap.

Don't vampire bats drink through their tongues?

[hamishspence]

Don't vampire bats drink through their tongues?

Not through them - tongue goes into blood, comes out with a little blood clinging to it - tongue goes back into mouth, blood is swallowed.

Just like a cat lapping up milk - but a whole lot faster.

[Kami2awa]

My campaign setting does something similar if for no other meta-reason than to make the equirectangular projection equidistant at any latitude. The world, seen from e.g. a moon, is a sphere, but due to the confluence of ley lines (the in-universe explanation), space is magically warped as you approach the poles - passing through the pole still deposits you on the other side of the map as normal, but stand even one 5-foot-square away and walk due east or west and it'll take you just as much time to go from longitude line to longitude line as it would on the equator.

As a "Berenstein"-er, I sympathize with the Mandela Effect - I'd imagine that a setting with time travelers might well have situations where the "ripple effect" doesn't fully parse when history changes, and leaves behind echoes of the history that no longer is. (In fact, something like that is arguably necessary in order for there to be "timecops" or any other way of knowing the history you're in isn't the correct one; otherwise, even the timecops' memories and records would be changed.)

It may interest you to know, then, that Robert Rankin describes pretty much exactly the same effect as the Mandela Effect in his book The Brightonomicon, calling the Chevalier Effect.

[nyjastul69]

I also thought vampires had syringe teeth. I didn't realize this misconception was so common.

I saw Star Wars in a drive-in theater when I was 7 or 8. I thought stormtroopers were robot's, like 3PO, and was bit confused about how Han and Luke could fit into robot suits.

[hamishspence]

Some stories specifically mention the hollow teeth - some don't (or even specifically state that the teeth themselves are solid).

[rooster707]

Honestly, it didn't occur to me that the "multi-pronged humanoid mosquito" thing WASN'T how it worked until today.

Same. This is a very common (mis?)conception, apparently.

[Rockphed]

I'm also pretty used to syringe vampires.

On a different note, when I was about 8 I read a military sci-fi series set in the far future which at one point described humans shooting shells with guns at some aliens. I wasn't familiar with artillery, so "gun" meant something like "rifle". The shell bit seemed a bit weird, but it was sci-fi so I pictured some sort of futuristic rifle that shot sea-shell shaped explosive projectiles. I can still call on that mental image, even though having reread the book I know that it's completely wrong.

This is an awesome sci-fi image. It must be made into a movie of some sort now. History demands it!

Before the movies, I used to picture Elrond as tubby. No idea why.

Um, he is old and knows lots of things. Obviously he is tubby like the librarian at your primary school.

[cobaltstarfire]

I saw Star Wars in a drive-in theater when I was 7 or 8. I thought stormtroopers were robot's, like 3PO, and was bit confused about how Han and Luke could fit into robot suits.

I had a long argument via writing exercises with my 11th grade English teacher about this, she was convinced that Storm Troopers were robots, and since we were watching Star Wars as part of a writing archetypes lesson she kept describing Star Wars as a Man Vs Machine story because of the Storm Troopers in particular.

[Strigon]

On a different note, when I was about 8 I read a military sci-fi series set in the far future which at one point described humans shooting shells with guns at some aliens. I wasn't familiar with artillery, so "gun" meant something like "rifle". The shell bit seemed a bit weird, but it was sci-fi so I pictured some sort of futuristic rifle that shot sea-shell shaped explosive projectiles. I can still call on that mental image, even though having reread the book I know that it's completely wrong.

On a similar note, I thought bullets were called missiles. I suppose, on a technicality, that wasn't wrong in the strictest sense, as they are still projectiles, but it led to more than one confusing moment when my brother and I would play with action figures.

I had a long argument via writing exercises with my 11th grade English teacher about this, she was convinced that Storm Troopers were robots, and since we were watching Star Wars as part of a writing archetypes lesson she kept describing Star Wars as a Man Vs Machine story because of the Storm Troopers in particular.

Oh... Oh, that must have hurt. Very, very badly; did you eventually convince her?

[nedz]

I also thought vampires had syringe teeth. I didn't realize this misconception was so common.

I'm not sure misconception is the correct term - it's just a different conception.

[Solaris]

So... Anyone else who never thought of them as having syringe-like teeth? I've honestly never run across the idea before. I mean, it makes a lot more sense than vampire bat-style bites, what with the lack of hickeys and all, but I've honestly never even heard of it, much less thought of it.
Definitely swiping the idea, though.

As for silly childhood misconceptions: When I was 7 or so, I saw Star Wars for the first time. When I saw the scene of Vader chocking the rebel ("If this is a consular ship, where's the ambassador?"), my young mind thought the sound of him asphyxiating was actually Vader snapping his neck. I was also disappointed that I couldn't get anything else to make that noise.

Yeah, me too. Try as I might...

[cobaltstarfire]

Oh... Oh, that must have hurt. Very, very badly; did you eventually convince her?

I think I did eventually, basically take the part that confused young nyjastul (how Han and Luke could wear robot...eh skins? Cases?) It's understandable for a child to make that mistake, but was exasperating even now thinking about it coming from an adult. In her defense, I don't think she watched all of the original Star Wars, cause I feel like she characterized Darth Vader as completely a robot too....

It might have actually been 10th grade now that I think about it harder...that was a long time ago. Either way my grades didn't suffer for continuously arguing with her about it, she was a pretty good teacher overall.

I do wonder if she amended her lessons , or if she completely forgot about it and went right back to teaching Star Wars: A New Hope as Man Vs Machine because the Storm Troopers are robots.

[Vknight]

@Cobaltstarfire
Depends on the teacher really I hope they did.
I have a different story on the matter involving the book Grendel and calling it published fan-fiction with the same quality, and during my senior year I heard the teacher use the same phrase when talking about the book to there class.

I never thought the vampire thing though that is helped in part because; I knew about Vampire bats when I was 7 and how they work

I had a few
-I thought evil witches had to be teachers around 6 to 8 area, or otherwise in a position of power over children. Evil Nurses, bad babysitters, Unreasonable Parents etc.
-I thought it was strange that vampires in movies wouldn't go out into the sun, because Dracula did that in the novel(its super common in a lot of vampire lore they can but with some limitation)
-I thought a elf had to be short(5'2" and shorter), or really tall(6'6" and taller), which I don't know why I just remember I only though of elves as being really small or giant willowy people
-Dwarves had no beards because they need to work on the forge without obstruction
-A curse isn't something that is malicious but is instead always meant to impart a life lesson on the person.

[Sith_Happens]

Not through them - tongue goes into blood, comes out with a little blood clinging to it - tongue goes back into mouth, blood is swallowed.

Just like a cat lapping up milk - but a whole lot faster.

I could have sworn I read at a zoo or someplace as a kid that they have tubes running through their tongues that they use like straws.

-A curse isn't something that is malicious but is instead always meant to impart a life lesson on the person.

Technically true, it's just that sometimes the life lesson is "Don't piss me off" or just straight up "**** you."

[GorinichSerpant]

@Cobaltstarfire
Depends on the teacher really I hope they did.
I have a different story on the matter involving the book Grendel and calling it published fan-fiction with the same quality, and during my senior year I heard the teacher use the same phrase when talking about the book to there class.

I never thought the vampire thing though that is helped in part because; I knew about Vampire bats when I was 7 and how they work

I had a few
-I thought evil witches had to be teachers around 6 to 8 area, or otherwise in a position of power over children. Evil Nurses, bad babysitters, Unreasonable Parents etc.
-I thought it was strange that vampires in movies wouldn't go out into the sun, because Dracula did that in the novel(its super common in a lot of vampire lore they can but with some limitation)
-I thought a elf had to be short(5'2" and shorter), or really tall(6'6" and taller), which I don't know why I just remember I only though of elves as being really small or giant willowy people
-Dwarves had no beards because they need to work on the forge without obstruction
-A curse isn't something that is malicious but is instead always meant to impart a life lesson on the person.

The thing about witches is amazing. I think that the thing with the elves is probably due to "elf" referring to either tall willowy people or tiny people that live can use leaves for cover, so really it checks out. Now I want to have an ability in an RPG that is called "Curse" that causes a target to suffer some supernatural effect until they learn a valuable life lesson.

[Vknight]

I could have sworn I read at a zoo or someplace as a kid that they have tubes running through their tongues that they use like straws.

Technically true, it's just that sometimes the life lesson is "Don't piss me off" or just straight up "**** you."

Snappers got a parasitic bug that eats there tongue. Some animals wrap there tongue around things using it like a channel to help draw in food
Well those last two didn't apply to the misconception because those would only be a life lesson if the curse ended when you learned leave that person alone/don't piss them off