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  1. - Top - End - #151
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    Emperor Ing's Avatar

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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Hailing tilted his head. The answer must be something...primitive. Simple. Iron-age.

    A space elevator?

    He almost said that, but it wouldn't work. The thing about space elevators is that you usually only needed one. No, this thing was self-propagating.

    A tree?
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  2. - Top - End - #152
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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Riddle Temple
    "Huh, thats actually correct!" the door says
    "That was my answer to." the minion says.
    The door opens and when you find a room with another door, which speaks:
    "I let little things in early. They grow within me and develop with care. Then I let them out when they are big, ready to take on the world. What am I?"
    My Fan Fiction:
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  3. - Top - End - #153
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    Emperor Ing's Avatar

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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Hailing had to scratch his head in. Something about this riddle struck him as though something was growing. Comes in small, goes out big. But these are primitives. Then again, even with his 'enlightened' sensibilities, Hailing's mind couldn't help but go to basics.

    Soil? His logic was that this was describing a farm. Seeds go in, crops come out. But he couldn't say 'farm' as that's way too broad.
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  4. - Top - End - #154
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    Lord Raziere's Avatar

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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Riddle Temple
    The door is confused. That was technically an answer that worked, but at the same time it wasn't the answer that it was thinking of. Should it accept it? It was never clear what happened when someone said a technically valid answer to the riddle without getting the answer that was actually correct.
    'Hm I erh well........you sir!" the door said indicating the minion. "What is your answer?"
    "I was thinking a school."
    "......Nevermind, your both correct." the door said, sighed and opened.

    The third door seems.....different.
    "Alright mothertruckers! Heres is MY riddle: whats big, fat and spews nothing but bull?"
    The minion can think of two answers, quickly glances at Hailing then speaks the safer one:
    "......A lawyer?"
    "WRONG SUCKER! Try again!"
    My Fan Fiction:
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  5. - Top - End - #155
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    Emperor Ing's Avatar

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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Hailing's mouth turned crooked. That was unexpected, to say the least. As though expecting an answer from his underling, Hailing simply turned to him, shrugged. 'School' would've been my last answer, actually. He remarked. This primitive Earth must be a very strange and alien world indeed if schooling is able to actually make children smarter than when they went in.

    A politician! Hailing answers immediately with enthusiasm. He already liked this third riddle-door.
    Banana
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  6. - Top - End - #156
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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Riddle Temple
    The minion sweatdrops. But....but.....HAILING was a politician! He remains silent regardless.
    "A good answer!" the door proclaims "BUT WRONG! ITS YO ASS, MOTHER TRUCKER! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAAAAA !!!"
    The crass door laughs uproariously while revealing its answer. Apparently it has a deathwish.
    My Fan Fiction:
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  7. - Top - End - #157
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    Emperor Ing's Avatar

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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    I'm not fat! Hailing defended himself with flashes of black and white ki-lightning arcing from his fingertips to rip the door into its component molecules.

    Once the door was dust, he sighed. Perfectly healthy weight for an Arcosian of my size!

    Right?
    He turned to the minion.
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  8. - Top - End - #158
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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emperor Ing View Post
    [
    Hailing & Vodkana

    Pure evil does not exist. It is simply a question of the extent to which one will act in their interest, and what they are willing to do. The stronger one becomes, the less push-back there would be. Their excesses to be pushed back against are met with silence. Silence sings of affirmation, such is way that power corrupts. Who has more power than Emperor Hailing?

    But pure evil? To always act in ways that inflict harm on others? That is not Emperor Hailing.

    As you wish, Your Highness. He dropped to one knee, bowing and saluting in supplication. How would you wish me?
    OOC: I have no specific plans for this date.. if you feel like it. we move on to another adventure of them.

    Vodkana's fangs shined.
    'More' she demanded, putting her legs on his head, trying to push him down. Part of the game was dominating the monarch she has visited.
    Bazzilion legions of thanks to his highness Emperor Ing for the awesome avatar!

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  9. - Top - End - #159
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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emperor Ing View Post
    I'm not fat! Hailing defended himself with flashes of black and white ki-lightning arcing from his fingertips to rip the door into its component molecules.

    Once the door was dust, he sighed. Perfectly healthy weight for an Arcosian of my size!

    Right?
    He turned to the minion.
    "Right." the minion agrees. "Your a martial artist. You work out. The door clearly had bad eyesight."
    Anyways, when you go through the hole left by the door, you find The Book of Ultimate Happiness on a pedestal. On it a happy yellow rune glows upon it. What mystical secrets of happiness are held within?
    My Fan Fiction:
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  10. - Top - End - #160
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    Hawkflight's Avatar

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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emperor Ing View Post
    Apfel & Celestia

    It sounds like it's a question of mindset and mood rather than drawing on any one memory, but then again what Apfel knew about his latent psychic abilities, he knew even less about magic. The existence of real magic is known in the Empire. It is by no means a secret, just extremely obscure, its utility having long since been supplanted by ki, or tech. My upbringing wasn't all bad. He smiled. I remember going to Ekariland on my brother's 11th birthday. That's a popular amusement park chain in the subsector, if you aren't aware. I...don't know if they're still in business though. That was a good moment for me. No insanity, no shouting, no negativity. Just...fun.
    Celestia nodded. "Now, I will walk you through the technique this time, and if you are unable to replicate it later, we can simply supplant it with other methods," she said. "What matters is what you see."

    Celestia focused, casting an illusion over the entire room. Drawing upon Apfel's memories, the two suddenly found themselves surrounded by them, as though brought to life on some sort of holodeck. Curiously, Celestia looked around -- this was the closest she had ever come to seeing Apfel's home planet, after all.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emperor Ing View Post
    Apfel & Starlight

    Apfel flew at her, telegraphing his intent to slash at her horizontally, only to feint into a thrusting strike.
    Starlight almost fell for the feint, but paused. It was too telegraphed, almost as if it were a trap of some sort. She maneuvered her blade between the two, point down, to intercept the attack, then pushed back in an attempt to disarm her opponent.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    Tournament
    Masala gets tripped, letting go of the hammer it being blocked and falling, however just as suddenly she flips and lands on her hands, making a hand stand. Then she begins attacking Tigra with her feet, kicking at her while moving crab-like on her hands to try and move around her scissor-blade, launching strange upside kick attacks, searching for a weakness in Tigra's defenses. Then when Tigra's focus is entirely on Masala's feet, she tries to grab Tigra's leg and pull on it to make her fall.
    Tigra's defenses were not impregnable. However, just as Masala was trying to get around her defenses, so was she trying to get around Masala's defenses. As Masala tripped her, she used the momentum from the fall to thrust her scissor blades at the majin from ground level.
    I'm having a bit of a medical issue, so posting may be sporadic. I will be fine, and I apologize for the inconvenience.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishimi View Post
    Well how the hell are we supposed to know what to do if you come right out and say it?
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  11. - Top - End - #161
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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Alas poor door, this is the price of betrayal. He remarks in eulogy for the disintegrated door as he approached the book, and eagerly opened it.
    Banana
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  12. - Top - End - #162
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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Riddle Temple:
    You open, you gaze upon its mystical pages and......and......AND.......:

    How many emperors does it take to light a torch?
    Two. One to conquer the empire, his successor to write the law that eventually lights it when the useless third one gets on the throne!

    How many gods does it take to light a torch?
    Three. One to create the world, the second to kill the gods that existed before them, and the third to screw the mortal that gives birth to the demigod that lights the torch.

    How many martial artists does it take to light a torch?
    Two. One to train ceaselessly to light that torch, the other to be the rival that tries to outdo him in lighting torches.


    It was a joke book. A magically preserved, but completely ordinary joke book. There are jokes for every single situation-at least all the ones you can conceive of within a primitive world like Earth- you just seemed to have turned to the torch joke section as you opened it. At no point does it ever explain how you get ultimate happiness, its just a bunch of jokes. The minion looks at it for a moment and remarks.
    "Oooooh, I get it! Its the book of ultimate happiness because it teaches you to see the humor in all situations! Therefore you can be happy by finding all the comedy you can!"

    Tournament
    Masala didn't get expect that and as Tigra fell, Masala had to leap back from the thrust, thus buying Tigra time.
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  13. - Top - End - #163
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    Hawkflight's Avatar

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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    Tournament
    Masala didn't get expect that and as Tigra fell, Masala had to leap back from the thrust, thus buying Tigra time.
    Tigra swiftly recovered her feet, pressing the attack mercilessly.
    I'm having a bit of a medical issue, so posting may be sporadic. I will be fine, and I apologize for the inconvenience.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishimi View Post
    Well how the hell are we supposed to know what to do if you come right out and say it?
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  14. - Top - End - #164
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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkflight View Post
    Tigra swiftly recovered her feet, pressing the attack mercilessly.
    Masala sees the attacks conjures scissor blades, lets herself get cut in half and the two halves attack from two sides.
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  15. - Top - End - #165
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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    Masala sees the attacks conjures scissor blades, lets herself get cut in half and the two halves attack from two sides.
    Well, that certainly surprised Tigra. She was hit from both sides, and sent reeling back towards the edge of the stage. Hwoever, she caught herself before falling off, charging her blades with energy as she swung back at the half of Masala on the left. If she was right, the majin should be weakened, but since when did she ever follow the laws of physics? Tigra focused her energy and swung, her scissor blades seeming to clone themselves several times over as she struck with what seemed to be eight blades at once.

    -------------

    [Emperor's Vanity]

    In low Earth orbit, a visitor appeared aboard the Emperor's Vanity, teleporting directly into the Emperor's ... office? Starlight wasn't quite sure whether Hailing used an office or not, but regardless, she locked onto his energy signature and teleported in near him, immediately charging her horn with energy. However, she didn't use it to attack -- instead, she seemed to be focused more on maintaining a spell on herself, though its nature wasn't quite clear.
    I'm having a bit of a medical issue, so posting may be sporadic. I will be fine, and I apologize for the inconvenience.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishimi View Post
    Well how the hell are we supposed to know what to do if you come right out and say it?
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  16. - Top - End - #166
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    Emperor Ing's Avatar

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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    The Emperor was sitting at a desk made of some exotic wood Starlight had never seen before, polished to nearly a mirror's finish and utterly flawless, like new. He sat with a pile of papers on his desk and a pair of glasses that, on closer inspection, didn't have lenses at all and were apparently worn just for style.

    A distraction! Hailing cheered the new arrival with eagerness. Seriously though, Starbright Clicker, you should be careful about who you teleport to. You startle the wrong guy-BOOM! He raised his hand like he was gonna fire a ki blast at her. Fortunately, nothing happened and he was simply miming the action.

    I'll tell you this, you've got bigger balls than half my Royal Guard and easily 99.9% of the Empire, and the alternative to chatting with you is reviewing tax proposals for Sector Boring so...what can I help you with?
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  17. - Top - End - #167
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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emperor Ing View Post
    The Emperor was sitting at a desk made of some exotic wood Starlight had never seen before, polished to nearly a mirror's finish and utterly flawless, like new. He sat with a pile of papers on his desk and a pair of glasses that, on closer inspection, didn't have lenses at all and were apparently worn just for style.

    A distraction! Hailing cheered the new arrival with eagerness. Seriously though, Starbright Clicker, you should be careful about who you teleport to. You startle the wrong guy-BOOM! He raised his hand like he was gonna fire a ki blast at her. Fortunately, nothing happened and he was simply miming the action.

    I'll tell you this, you've got bigger balls than half my Royal Guard and easily 99.9% of the Empire, and the alternative to chatting with you is reviewing tax proposals for Sector Boring so...what can I help you with?
    Starlight raised an eyebrow as she examined the mounds of paperwork, not even flinching as the emperor raised his hand to mime a ki blast. She had enough of a bead on him to know that he wasn't the type to simply blast away an intruder. And even if he had, she had a contingency in place for that.

    "I must apologize," she remarked. "I had you pegged as the kind of ruler to delegate this kind of paperwork, regardless of whether or not it's detrimental to your empire. I see I was wrong." Indeed, there was something ... odd about seeing the emperor doing paperwork, all else considered.

    "Anyways, my point," she said, getting back on track. "I was hoping to discuss what my friends have termed the 'death field' you placed around the Lookout. Quite simply, it poses a threat to the local wildlife, and I wish to negotiate your fixing this issue, possibly by reprogramming it to ensure it does not target said wildlife?"
    I'm having a bit of a medical issue, so posting may be sporadic. I will be fine, and I apologize for the inconvenience.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishimi View Post
    Well how the hell are we supposed to know what to do if you come right out and say it?
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  18. - Top - End - #168
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    Emperor Ing's Avatar

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    Default Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?

    Oh! Yes, the sentry array. Hailing recognized what Starlight was talking about, putting his elbows on the desk. I actually figured you might take issue with it. A part of me expected you to come in guns ablazing like last time. I'm fine either way.

    How is your horn, by the way? A lot of our scientists didn't think you survived your teleportation attempt, damaged as it was.

    Anyways. It's a security feature.
    That much is obvious. Meant as much to dissuade would-be intruders attempting to infiltrate our perimeter through conventional means. Though as you have clearly demonstrated, it's powerless against unconventional mentods of transport. The hypothesis is that this is not a common mode of transportation among the Rebel Alliance. However given the, well, obvious presence of a spellcaster among enemy forces, which would be you, He gestures to Starlight. We realized enemy forces may very well attempt to infiltrate either through polymorphic or illusory magic, thus our sentry array targets unauthorized intruders, be they insects, or people, with absolute prejudice.

    For what it is worth, I believe you, that you want to protect wildlife.
    Hailing answered. I mean, you faced me down to buy the Tuffles enough time to evacuate as much wildlife as they could. Mad respect. He offered Starlight a genuine smirk with a wink. But without a clear alternative to Lookout security, well, we cannot.

    Oh! I have one idea! Could you use your magic to create a ward? Something that makes wildlife go 'nooo, I don't want to go in that direction' before they enter Array range?
    Last edited by Emperor Ing; 2017-08-26 at 01:05 AM.
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