Results 151 to 180 of 190
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2017-08-11, 07:17 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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- Ancapistan
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Hailing tilted his head. The answer must be something...primitive. Simple. Iron-age.
A space elevator?
He almost said that, but it wouldn't work. The thing about space elevators is that you usually only needed one. No, this thing was self-propagating.
A tree?Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2017-08-11, 07:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Riddle Temple
"Huh, thats actually correct!" the door says
"That was my answer to." the minion says.
The door opens and when you find a room with another door, which speaks:
"I let little things in early. They grow within me and develop with care. Then I let them out when they are big, ready to take on the world. What am I?"
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2017-08-13, 09:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
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- Ancapistan
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Hailing had to scratch his head in. Something about this riddle struck him as though something was growing. Comes in small, goes out big. But these are primitives. Then again, even with his 'enlightened' sensibilities, Hailing's mind couldn't help but go to basics.
Soil? His logic was that this was describing a farm. Seeds go in, crops come out. But he couldn't say 'farm' as that's way too broad.Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2017-08-13, 10:21 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2010
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Riddle Temple
The door is confused. That was technically an answer that worked, but at the same time it wasn't the answer that it was thinking of. Should it accept it? It was never clear what happened when someone said a technically valid answer to the riddle without getting the answer that was actually correct.
'Hm I erh well........you sir!" the door said indicating the minion. "What is your answer?"
"I was thinking a school."
"......Nevermind, your both correct." the door said, sighed and opened.
The third door seems.....different.
"Alright mothertruckers! Heres is MY riddle: whats big, fat and spews nothing but bull?"
The minion can think of two answers, quickly glances at Hailing then speaks the safer one:
"......A lawyer?"
"WRONG SUCKER! Try again!"
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2017-08-13, 10:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Location
- Ancapistan
- Gender
Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Hailing's mouth turned crooked. That was unexpected, to say the least. As though expecting an answer from his underling, Hailing simply turned to him, shrugged. 'School' would've been my last answer, actually. He remarked. This primitive Earth must be a very strange and alien world indeed if schooling is able to actually make children smarter than when they went in.
A politician! Hailing answers immediately with enthusiasm. He already liked this third riddle-door.Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2017-08-13, 11:16 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2010
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Riddle Temple
The minion sweatdrops. But....but.....HAILING was a politician! He remains silent regardless.
"A good answer!" the door proclaims "BUT WRONG! ITS YO ASS, MOTHER TRUCKER! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAAAAA !!!"
The crass door laughs uproariously while revealing its answer. Apparently it has a deathwish.
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2017-08-14, 02:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
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- Ancapistan
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
I'm not fat! Hailing defended himself with flashes of black and white ki-lightning arcing from his fingertips to rip the door into its component molecules.
Once the door was dust, he sighed. Perfectly healthy weight for an Arcosian of my size!
Right? He turned to the minion.Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2017-08-14, 05:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
OOC: I have no specific plans for this date.. if you feel like it. we move on to another adventure of them.
Vodkana's fangs shined.
'More' she demanded, putting her legs on his head, trying to push him down. Part of the game was dominating the monarch she has visited.Thanks for the OOTSkage of OOTS art, Lord Raziere.
------
My previouse Avater
Bazzilion legions of thanks to his highness Emperor Ing for the awesome avatar!
Who want to join some freeform Naruto Rp?
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showt...ound-ITP-OOC-1
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2017-08-14, 07:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
"Right." the minion agrees. "Your a martial artist. You work out. The door clearly had bad eyesight."
Anyways, when you go through the hole left by the door, you find The Book of Ultimate Happiness on a pedestal. On it a happy yellow rune glows upon it. What mystical secrets of happiness are held within?
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2017-08-15, 08:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- Koprulu Sector
- Gender
Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Celestia nodded. "Now, I will walk you through the technique this time, and if you are unable to replicate it later, we can simply supplant it with other methods," she said. "What matters is what you see."
Celestia focused, casting an illusion over the entire room. Drawing upon Apfel's memories, the two suddenly found themselves surrounded by them, as though brought to life on some sort of holodeck. Curiously, Celestia looked around -- this was the closest she had ever come to seeing Apfel's home planet, after all.
Starlight almost fell for the feint, but paused. It was too telegraphed, almost as if it were a trap of some sort. She maneuvered her blade between the two, point down, to intercept the attack, then pushed back in an attempt to disarm her opponent.
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Tigra's defenses were not impregnable. However, just as Masala was trying to get around her defenses, so was she trying to get around Masala's defenses. As Masala tripped her, she used the momentum from the fall to thrust her scissor blades at the majin from ground level.Originally Posted by TheAmishPirateSpoiler: Previous Avatars!
Kitty Lacuna by Kymme
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2017-08-15, 08:28 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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- Ancapistan
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Alas poor door, this is the price of betrayal. He remarks in eulogy for the disintegrated door as he approached the book, and eagerly opened it.
Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2017-08-15, 08:52 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2010
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Riddle Temple:
You open, you gaze upon its mystical pages and......and......AND.......:
How many emperors does it take to light a torch?
Two. One to conquer the empire, his successor to write the law that eventually lights it when the useless third one gets on the throne!
How many gods does it take to light a torch?
Three. One to create the world, the second to kill the gods that existed before them, and the third to screw the mortal that gives birth to the demigod that lights the torch.
How many martial artists does it take to light a torch?
Two. One to train ceaselessly to light that torch, the other to be the rival that tries to outdo him in lighting torches.
It was a joke book. A magically preserved, but completely ordinary joke book. There are jokes for every single situation-at least all the ones you can conceive of within a primitive world like Earth- you just seemed to have turned to the torch joke section as you opened it. At no point does it ever explain how you get ultimate happiness, its just a bunch of jokes. The minion looks at it for a moment and remarks.
"Oooooh, I get it! Its the book of ultimate happiness because it teaches you to see the humor in all situations! Therefore you can be happy by finding all the comedy you can!"
Tournament
Masala didn't get expect that and as Tigra fell, Masala had to leap back from the thrust, thus buying Tigra time.
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2017-08-15, 08:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
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- Koprulu Sector
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Originally Posted by TheAmishPirateSpoiler: Previous Avatars!
Kitty Lacuna by Kymme
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Avatar made by Lightning Bliss.
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2017-08-22, 02:35 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2010
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
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2017-08-25, 09:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
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- Koprulu Sector
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Well, that certainly surprised Tigra. She was hit from both sides, and sent reeling back towards the edge of the stage. Hwoever, she caught herself before falling off, charging her blades with energy as she swung back at the half of Masala on the left. If she was right, the majin should be weakened, but since when did she ever follow the laws of physics? Tigra focused her energy and swung, her scissor blades seeming to clone themselves several times over as she struck with what seemed to be eight blades at once.
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[Emperor's Vanity]
In low Earth orbit, a visitor appeared aboard the Emperor's Vanity, teleporting directly into the Emperor's ... office? Starlight wasn't quite sure whether Hailing used an office or not, but regardless, she locked onto his energy signature and teleported in near him, immediately charging her horn with energy. However, she didn't use it to attack -- instead, she seemed to be focused more on maintaining a spell on herself, though its nature wasn't quite clear.Originally Posted by TheAmishPirateSpoiler: Previous Avatars!
Kitty Lacuna by Kymme
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2017-08-25, 11:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
The Emperor was sitting at a desk made of some exotic wood Starlight had never seen before, polished to nearly a mirror's finish and utterly flawless, like new. He sat with a pile of papers on his desk and a pair of glasses that, on closer inspection, didn't have lenses at all and were apparently worn just for style.
A distraction! Hailing cheered the new arrival with eagerness. Seriously though, Starbright Clicker, you should be careful about who you teleport to. You startle the wrong guy-BOOM! He raised his hand like he was gonna fire a ki blast at her. Fortunately, nothing happened and he was simply miming the action.
I'll tell you this, you've got bigger balls than half my Royal Guard and easily 99.9% of the Empire, and the alternative to chatting with you is reviewing tax proposals for Sector Boring so...what can I help you with?Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2017-08-25, 11:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
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- Koprulu Sector
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Starlight raised an eyebrow as she examined the mounds of paperwork, not even flinching as the emperor raised his hand to mime a ki blast. She had enough of a bead on him to know that he wasn't the type to simply blast away an intruder. And even if he had, she had a contingency in place for that.
"I must apologize," she remarked. "I had you pegged as the kind of ruler to delegate this kind of paperwork, regardless of whether or not it's detrimental to your empire. I see I was wrong." Indeed, there was something ... odd about seeing the emperor doing paperwork, all else considered.
"Anyways, my point," she said, getting back on track. "I was hoping to discuss what my friends have termed the 'death field' you placed around the Lookout. Quite simply, it poses a threat to the local wildlife, and I wish to negotiate your fixing this issue, possibly by reprogramming it to ensure it does not target said wildlife?"Originally Posted by TheAmishPirateSpoiler: Previous Avatars!
Kitty Lacuna by Kymme
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Avatar made by Lightning Bliss.
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2017-08-26, 01:04 AM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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- Ancapistan
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Oh! Yes, the sentry array. Hailing recognized what Starlight was talking about, putting his elbows on the desk. I actually figured you might take issue with it. A part of me expected you to come in guns ablazing like last time. I'm fine either way.
How is your horn, by the way? A lot of our scientists didn't think you survived your teleportation attempt, damaged as it was.
Anyways. It's a security feature. That much is obvious. Meant as much to dissuade would-be intruders attempting to infiltrate our perimeter through conventional means. Though as you have clearly demonstrated, it's powerless against unconventional mentods of transport. The hypothesis is that this is not a common mode of transportation among the Rebel Alliance. However given the, well, obvious presence of a spellcaster among enemy forces, which would be you, He gestures to Starlight. We realized enemy forces may very well attempt to infiltrate either through polymorphic or illusory magic, thus our sentry array targets unauthorized intruders, be they insects, or people, with absolute prejudice.
For what it is worth, I believe you, that you want to protect wildlife. Hailing answered. I mean, you faced me down to buy the Tuffles enough time to evacuate as much wildlife as they could. Mad respect. He offered Starlight a genuine smirk with a wink. But without a clear alternative to Lookout security, well, we cannot.
Oh! I have one idea! Could you use your magic to create a ward? Something that makes wildlife go 'nooo, I don't want to go in that direction' before they enter Array range?Last edited by Emperor Ing; 2017-08-26 at 01:05 AM.
Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
Don't mess with a Primarch
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2017-09-28, 10:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
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- Koprulu Sector
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
"I shan't pretend it didn't hurt. A lot," Starlight replied. "Like, the single most painful experience of my entire life. But it's fine now. They grow back fairly quickly, you know, since they're basically just hardened hair. By the way, I would not recommend using the same tactic again -- I've set that as a trigger to teleport me so safety."
"Yes, I can hardly imagine what it must be like for a foreign group to come and attempt to conquer your property and kick you out," Starlight said, her voice laden with sarcasm. She shook her head. "I considered that," she replied, her voice back to normal. "I've been doing it as a stopgap measure, actually. Unfortunately, it wouldn't work. The field would fail as soon as I fell asleep. And even if it didn't, it wouldn't be a sure thing -- I can only make them not want to go there, it doesn't mean some young squirrel or wolf wouldn't do so for one reason or another. Besides, it's an entirely pointless measure anyways. The power output of your weapons, converted to thaums, is significantly inferior to a magic shield, or even what an individual with a power level over 100,000 can withstand. Which absolutely baffles me, but that's aside from the point. If we wanted to invade the lookout, your guards would be a much more effective line of defense."
The alicorn took a deep breath. "Besides -- and 23 would kill me for telling you this -- there's nothing we actually want on the Lookout. The animals I was taking care of were all released before we went to Talsaiga, all of the information is on our ship, and the only benefit it granted us is a bigger, more comfortable place to relax. Yes, there could be things there that we do not wish you to have, but in that case 23 could just snipe them with ki blasts from outside the field's range. There is absolutely no practical reason for us to invade.
"However, if you are still concerned, we could sign a contract. We promise not to try to invade your base, and you deactivate the death field. You would be assured that we will not break the agreement because, quite frankly, if we did that, you would just reactivate the death field and probably expand it and kill a bunch of animals just to make a point."Originally Posted by TheAmishPirateSpoiler: Previous Avatars!
Kitty Lacuna by Kymme
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2017-09-28, 11:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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- Ancapistan
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Oooh... At the mention of excruciating pain, he sounded excited. Rather envious that Starlight got to experience such a strong feeling, painful or pleasurable. If only there were nerve endings in his own horns.
Forgive me, I have non-standard interests, ones not widely shared. Except maybe in the dark corners of the hypernet. Still, this mention of Starlight's contingency spell was noteworthy. Sure it wouldn't completely neutralize her, but it would get her out of the fight temporarily, which often was enough. File that information away for later.
Hailing thought about what Starlight said, carefully considering his options. ...exterminatus. He said back. Make no attempts to infiltrate the base. Failure is the forfeiture of the existence of all life on Earth, and the immediate annexation of the Sol System into the Arcosian Empire. In return we will deactivate the death field, unless a clear and present threat is made that can be objectively verified. Lifeless systems are still valuable. Raw materials for megastructure construction are always in high demand. Even if Hailing didn't have it in mind to terraform Earth back to life.
Our failure to comply will...let's say...forfeit our claims to this solar system and we immediately withdraw, forfeiting all future claims for a period of, say, one whole century. He suggested. We will recognize the Sol system as sovereign to humans, and will be regarded as Neutral Space unless human governments develop space travel and the means to communicate with our Empire, and wish to discuss terms of their relationship with our Empire in that century.Last edited by Emperor Ing; 2017-09-28 at 11:27 PM.
Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2017-09-28, 11:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
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- Koprulu Sector
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Well, that was interesting, Starlight noted. He seemed to be a masochist, information that could potentially be useful. She mentally filed that away for later use.
Starlight thought for a moment before replying. She was tempted to accept the terms on the spot, but she knew she couldn't do that on her own. "Understand that I cannot immediately agree or disagree on the others' behalf, as I will have to ask them first," she said. "Those are big stakes, one might even call them disproportionate, though I'm not one to judge. Still, they are terms I am willing to abide by, on two conditions. The first being that you reprogram the field to only affect sapient beings. That way, if you do have to reactivate the field, it does not inadvertently target the very animals we are trying to save. Our not infiltrating the base in the form of animals is already in the contract, so it's entirely unnecessary to even target them. The second condition is that, in the final official document, we specify in detail the specific entities involved, not just 'us' and 'them'. For instance, while you run a strict military with a distinct chain of command, my group is simply a bunch of disorganized rebels. It would not be realistic for the Rebel Alliance to sign a contract and expect the government of, say, East City to abide by it."Originally Posted by TheAmishPirateSpoiler: Previous Avatars!
Kitty Lacuna by Kymme
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2017-09-29, 01:24 AM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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- Ancapistan
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
You are speaking of technology that is able to discern the thought-patterns and brain-waves of creatures which must necessarily function with creatures of alien biology to determine a common intelligence level of 'sapience.' All in a matter of moments. Hailing answered. From a distance of miles, no less. Complying with that request is not probable. More simple would be to disable the death field entirely, only linking our turrets to our scanning equipment as a targeting aid. Make it manual, so that turrets will only select very specific targets when told to do so, rather than targeting insects indiscriminately. He suggested. As for your request for specificity, I can agree to that.
Last edited by Emperor Ing; 2017-09-29 at 01:25 AM.
Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2017-09-29, 02:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
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- Koprulu Sector
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
"Actually, I was just going to recommend keying the sensors to target pre-established sapient species based off of their unique ki signatures, but that works too," Starlight remarked. "I will contact Android 23 and get her approval on this."
Starlight pulled out her phone, but then paused, a question occurring to her. "Forgive the change in subject, but something has been bothering me," she said. "How is it that your 'hypernet' seems to be flooded with content and memes that will not be invented for several hundred years?"Originally Posted by TheAmishPirateSpoiler: Previous Avatars!
Kitty Lacuna by Kymme
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2017-09-29, 03:27 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Would you believe me if I told you I have a computer that connects to the Hypernet exactly 498 years, 2 months, and 11 days into the future? And does Hailing use it to educate himself on future events by tapping into a vast, ever-expanding archive of history, philosophy, or politics, or otherwise use the knowledge of the future at his fingertips to solve sociological, medical, scientific, and other conondrums, or even get one-up on his enemies by knowing exactly what their strategy is from analyses written centuries in hindsight?
Nope. He uses it to s***post dank memes and play video games.Last edited by Emperor Ing; 2017-09-29 at 03:28 PM.
Dark Souls Remake in a Nutshell
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2017-10-05, 10:16 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2010
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
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2017-10-06, 11:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2010
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- Koprulu Sector
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Tigra grit her teeth as she charged through the assault, some of the bullets bouncing off of her scissor blades as she faced the attack head-on.
"Like I said before," she said. "You'll never learn to beat me if you don't learn to face danger head-on!" She swung her scissor blades wide, swinging them with one paw while the other charged up an explosive blast of energy, which she thrust at the majin ... causing it to explode in (hopefully) both of their faces.Originally Posted by TheAmishPirateSpoiler: Previous Avatars!
Kitty Lacuna by Kymme
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Avatar made by Lightning Bliss.
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2017-10-08, 01:40 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2010
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Masala gets exploded- then puts herself back together and puts on a determined face, unleashing a flurry of blows, a machine gun storm of punches at Tigra while charging forward trying to distract her with all the punches so he can get close and unleashing a beam from her mouth when she gets up, pointing upwards at the majority of Tigra's body from her smaller position.
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2018-03-12, 01:19 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2010
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- Koprulu Sector
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Tigra also put on a determined face. A few measly punches were nothing, she'd suffered worse in her own training. Granted, mostly by accident, but still. When Masala fired a beam of ki energy at her, she grinned, drew back her fist, and punched straight through th beam towards Masala's mouth. It was like a salmon swimming upriver, only the river was a giant ki blast and the salmon was her fist.
Originally Posted by TheAmishPirateSpoiler: Previous Avatars!
Kitty Lacuna by Kymme
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Avatar made by Lightning Bliss.
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2018-03-12, 01:44 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2010
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Tournament
Masala is surprised and gets punched in the face, skidding back to the edge of the arena. It was clear to you now: even though Masala was technically stronger, you had years of training and skill simply by being an adult warrior that Masala lacked. She had been using nothing but pure power to defeat all those villains the entire time, coasting on her greater strength. But now she was facing someone where that truly would not work, sure Fenrir and the pirate guy pushed her to be more skilled, but she was still a long way before she would truly be a great warrior.
Masala roars, her muscles flexing, her pigtail rising upwards as she glares with determination at Tigra.
"Your good Tigra! I think its time we end this- one way or another! I'm glad to have a friend like you!"
She cups her hands together, saying.
"KA.........ME............HA.........ME....... ..."
The blue energy gathers in her hand as she charges it. You sense that she is shaping it to push you out of the ring with all her might rather to pierce anything, the arena vibrating as she begins her final attack.
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2018-03-17, 11:33 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2010
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- Koprulu Sector
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Re: [DBitP Sidequests] Do Equestrian Dragons Have Balls?
Tigra, by contrast, took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a second as she focused and lifted her blade. Scissors ... a tool made for sheering things in two. Her weapon, it was no mere piece of metal. It was a tool created by the majin, a being some in her village still considered a god. She could feel the weapon quivering in her hand, responding to her will. Her eyes snapped open, full of steely determination.
"If I can't knock you out, or shove you out of the arena ..." she started. Her Buster Scissors shook, then suddenly seemed to grow more blades, doubling, then tripling in length, over and over, until the weapon spanned the length of the arena. "... I'LL JUST HAVE TO SHOVE THE ARENA TOO! THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS TO FIGHT HEAD-ON!" She drew her weapon back as the crowd gazed in awe....Originally Posted by TheAmishPirateSpoiler: Previous Avatars!
Kitty Lacuna by Kymme
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Avatar made by Lightning Bliss.