Grandfather, why? - The Mythology Building Game

[Thunderfist12]

Why do the dead people keep coming back?

Grandfather: "Would YOU like to lie in a box for all eternity?"

Child: "Not really."

Grandfather: "Well, neither do they."

Father: "Come on, pa, don't fill the boy's head with such nonsense. It's because - "

Grandfather: "Nope! Boxes it is!" *speaking again to the child* "Now off to bed with you."

---

"Father, why aren't the stars always there at night? Do they have somewhere else to be?"

[inuyasha]

Well child, as you may know, during the day the stars all group together to form the sun, in all its glory. Some say that during nights where the sky is dark and lightless, the stars have formed a secondary sun far away in the world, to grant hope when extreme tragedy of the highest caliber arises.

Grandmother, why does water banish flame?

[JNAProductions]

Grandmother, why does water banish flame?

Well, you see, squirt, water and fire love each other very much. But water, being inherently magical, is able to send fire to the Elemental Plane of Water, where it can be amongst the rest of the water. As a result, the water discorporates, being replaced by steam-a sort of magical backlash.

Goddess, why did you tell us to burn down... Everything?

[ArlEammon]

Goddess, why did you tell us to burn down... Everything?

"The souls of the slain children make their way to me where they may find rest or find parents once again through reincarnation."
"The city was put to the sword, men, women, old, and children, and the weak, because the demons empower them. Should they have been allowed to exist, their blood line would grow filthier with demons until there was nothing left but a living demon in corporeal form."
"The city of Thyra was once the capital of the world's first global empire. After three hundred years of dominance, the Empire became intolerable. The murder of children, the rape of women, the sacrifice of the weak for the strong, and the strong yet for false gods. Demon worship in order to sate their sinful appetites became so strong the people were transformed naturally into monstrous souls for all their filthiness."
"I, the Goddess Of Fire demanded you purify them all, lest their bloodline rise up to bring the End Of Days. You failed."

"Acolyte, why have you murdered the High Priestess?"

[inuyasha]

It was in the old days that students would kill their masters! I have slain the hierophant as a sacrifice to our goddess, and I seek to bring new order and discipline to this church!

A change has come about in the celestial hierarchy. I have heard mutterings from Her Holiness, saying that her will is to be formed anew. No more musty tomes, for these words decay, and instead our stories should be etched in shields and the blades of swords! No more pews, as they weaken the soul and body, instead we are to stand on nails to toughen our feet like true soldiers! And finally, no more ancient priestesses, droning on about grace, we will take evil and smite it with words of war and power!


Chirurgeon, why does the body grow rigid after death?

[Thunderfist12]

Chirurgeon, why does the body grow rigid after death?

Chirurgeon: "Because, child, dying is very, very painful. The reason you stay all tense is that you never wake up to feel relief."

Apprentice: "Never?"

Chirurgeon: "Well... usually not."

---

"Elder, who was the first Wizard? What was he like? Was he old and wise like you?"

[JNAProductions]

"Elder, who was the first Wizard? What was he like? Was he old and wise like you?"

"The first Wizard was actually a Sourcerer. That is, a source of magic. There were many Sourcerers before him-or her, or it, I'm not quite sure-but they were the first one to codify magic. They created the first spells-specific workings of the hand and voice to compel magic to act in a certain way. Hearsay has it that they accomplished all this by the age of 32, so not quite as old, but most likely far wiser."

---

"Grandfather, why do we use steel for coins AND swords?"

[Thunderfist12]

"Grandfather, why do we use steel for coins AND swords?"

Grandfather: "The living make coin and swords take the living. Steel is both life and death... both sides of the same coin, you could say."
---

"Brother eldest, who are the men in the Mountain?"

[inuyasha]

Well, young one, they say that the first of the wizards was also one you'd never expect. People always think the elves pioneered wizardly magic, but they didn't really need that. Their flexibility and intellect proved useful in other ways! No, the first Wizard was a young man, one human with a dream to look into the future. Using his magics, he managed to predict the weather perfectly, determine whether crops would grow, and eventually he progressed to more martial uses... predicting whether an attack would strike, and adjusting appropriately, divining proper battle strategies, and even figuring out how peer into the domains of gods! This human also made his dream easily understood, which is why it is so much easier to learn Divination magic than any other specialist mage.

EDIT: I got ninja'd hardcore, hold on!

Some call the Knockers, others call them mole men, and yet others still say that they're demons. Nobody's really sure what lives in the mountain, but they've proven useful thus far in warning of cave-ins and impending monster attacks, sending envoys under cover of darkness and spells. I personally think it's a small group of gnomes with a decent sense of humor and a good amount of magic behind 'em.

King of these wide realms, why do the Halflings not speak of their magical accomplishments?

[Thunderfist12]

King of these wide realms, why do the Halflings not speak of their magical accomplishments?

King: "Well, mage-to-be, if you must know, it's simply that few still walking the world remember them. Generations ago, before the first wizards penned the secrets of magic and before the first sorcerer felt the call of his boiling blood, it was they who bore the heavy burden of the world's greatest and most wondrous magic. It was under them that the first Wizard, a mortal man named Galen, studied his art. Learned though he was, he was unable to conjure any magical power save through the aid of his teachers, a circle of powerful warlocks known as the Druids. Until, legend has it, he struck a deal with the god Kurtulmac. While he promised great power and long life to the druids who devoted their craft to him, the god had his own plan. He stripped the little folk of their craft and shaped the druids into the first kobolds, whom he made loyal only to him. The resulting backlash of magical energy left many of the ungifted with strange and often aberrant gifts. Most of this power, however, went not to Galen or his cronies, but to the newly made children of Kurtulmac, who lorded over the land in the absence of the druids. Whether out of fear for the new order or out of sheer remorse for what he had done, Galen gathered a group of gnomish miners and led the druid-kings into a crypt where he promised they'd find a relic of ultimate and unchallenged power. Instead, the miners caused a rockslide, sealing them inside for all eternity. When the gods Garl and Boccob saw this, they rewarded mortalkind with magic, giving the greatest portion to the gnomes and the smallest unto men and halflings. It is so because time and again men like Galen have proven that men are too easily corrupted, just as halflings are too easily persuaded."

---

"Father? When the wolves come, why don't the sheep fight back?"

[JNAProductions]

"Father? When the wolves come, why don't the sheep fight back?"

"Well, kiddo, you see, sheep worship the wolves. They are their gods-mysterious beings that come from the forest, and claim their tributes. It's why they sometimes don't even run-they're especially pious sheep. It's like how we sacrifice someone once a month to the dragon on the mountain, only a bit more random. Speaking of which, eat up-the dragon likes 'em fat."

---

Why does salt taste good?

[jqavins]

Why does salt taste good?

Why must you ask so many questions? Oh, well, I can tell you.

Have you ever noticed that all of our food is either an animal or a plant? Well, Canalite, the Mad King of the Earth Elementals noticed. And he was jealous. Yes, jealous because mortals didn't want to eat him; didn't I say he was mad? "If plants and animals are good enough to eat," he roared, "then rocks are even better!" So he used all his magic to make us mortals like eating rocks. Fortunately for us, he never had much magic, and all he could accomplish is to make us love eating one kind of rock: salt.

-----

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. DADDY! Why are there stars? What is water made of? Who invented dirt? Who was that lady you were kissing? How come kitties don't lay eggs like chickens? Why is Henry so mean to me?

[DuctTapeKatar]

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. DADDY! Why are there stars? What is water made of? Who invented dirt? Who was that lady you were kissing? How come kitties don't lay eggs like chickens? Why is Henry so mean to me?

Grumble grumble...

Stars are there... because... stars... *dozes off...*

*snort* Stars! They're things that were... uh... souls. That's what they are.

Dirt? Dirt? ... Well, we did... kinda... There used to be no dirt. Then we ate stuff... Then, well, you know the rest.

That woman was your succubus mother, coming back from some etheral plane or somesuch so she could feed off... well, you'll learn that in the future.

Cats DO lay eggs. The eggs are just really good at hiding. That's right. They hide. They have legs to move around.

As for Henry? He knows that you're the daughter of a succubus.

On a different note, do you know where my ax is? I have work to do now.

Who are you? Why are you in the sacred chamber of Yg'yllsmot? Why are you naked, and for god's sake, why are you covered in blood?

[RazDelacroix]

Who are you? Why are you in the sacred chamber of Yg'yllsmot? Why are you naked, and for god's sake, why are you covered in blood?

"Who am I? Why am I here? What do you think?! YOU DID THIS TO ME! Your befouling of my sacred words have twisted my form into this woman's you see before you! The corrupt actions of your people have wrung me from my rightful domain and drenched me in the blood of the innocents you cruel debased mortals have murdered in MY NAME!

Now? Now of all times do you and your little spiteful charlatans cringe and seek my wisdom? Now you question my cloth and bearing? Now you ponder where all the blood you spilled has gone off to? Do you not know, the consequences, of SPEAKING A DIVINE NAME IN VAIN AND SLANDER?!

Have my holy texts been scrawled over with the filth and dung of merchants to slavery and death? Has my wisdom been lost to the ravages of avarice and arrogance? Oh how shall I ever deal with this now? Now that your misbegotten clerics have mangled the holy names of my divine servants and made mockery of their forms now manifest in these... 'Lords of the Realm'.

So be it. It seems I must seek out boon company to help me sort out this kingdom and remove the stain from my divine legacy. I shall in good time take back my name and see it spoken once more in those devoted to my teachings. First, I must clean up my holy house.

Oh look, my last paladin left their Holy Avenger here. Beneath my Altar. Just. In. Case.

Do not speak, for you are bereft of life and throat. And you make me angry.

I, am Ys'gymallsmotora. My word shall be holy once more."



"Grandfather, is it true about sticks and stones breaking bones but names cannot hurt us?"

[jqavins]

Grandfather, is it true about sticks and stones breaking bones but names cannot hurt us?

Ah, my dear child, it's strange how often tragic history is remembered in children's rhymes. (Yes, yes, I know it doesn't rhyme; that's just an expression.)

Do you know that Outsiders all have two names? One name they use to face the world, and the other, which is called the True Name (though I've never understood what's any more 'true' about it) is the key to holding power over them. You'll learn more about this if the Gift shows in you as has in your brother.

What most people have forgotten is that once, thousands of years ago, we mortals had "True Names" as well. The casters of magic sought often to learn the true names of their enemies, mortal and outsider alike. If your True Name was learned, a powerful mage could destroy you, body, mind, spirit, and soul; or he could destroy only your spirit, making you his slave; he could trap your soul in unending torment, either with your mind intact to experience the pain or without it, at his whim; a powerful mage could control or destroy you in a hundred ways, if he knew your True Name. But most people had nothing to fear, for most people never have to opportunity, let alone a reason to make an enemy of a mage; mostly they battled each other, and most would fight to put down those evil ones who tormented ordinary people. And life went on, generally in peace.

Then came the calamitous day when Morgloch (cursed be his name) devised a way to learn the True Name of any mortal. Morgloch (may the dust of his bones remain ever dry) was powerful among demons; by stealing and tormenting the souls of mortals he hoped to more become powerful than any other, and even to become a god. He made slaves of many mortals, and killed many more just to satisfy his lust for pain and blood. He demanded worship; his slaves constructed temples and many more, who were not his slaves, willingly gave themselves to him.

Why? Who knows why they would give themselves to him? Some, probably, thought they would gain wealth or status as worshipers of Morgloch (forever is he reviled) when he became a god. Perhaps some shared his lust for pain and blood. Others- I simply don't know why fools and evil men do what they do.

The gods tried to stop Morgloch (the never-god) but he continued to gain power through the souls he possessed. And they could not break his method of learning True Names, for they did not know how he did it. But finally, Hyyallar the Trickster, whose mischief is not always so evil as many think him, and who was never so evil as Morgloch (ever cursed) figured out that if he could not hide the True Names of mortals, he could take their True Names away. And this he did. Some who were in Morgloch's (damned and accursed) thrall stood with him, and died with him when the gods struck him down. Some, whose souls he possessed, died on the moment, which was a great tragedy, for they were innocent. But this was a small price to pay compared to the darkness that would have befallen us all if Morgloch (curse his bones) had become the god he wanted to be.

Without true names, mortals ever since have been less magical than we used to be, fewer of us have the ability to become mages, for in the time before Morgloch (who must never return) we could all cast spells, even if most could cast only the weaker magics. But that, too, is a small price to pay.

And now, the great calamity of that time is remembered mainly in a child's rhyme (yes, yes; hush) for it is indeed true that though sticks and stones can still break bones, but Names can never more hurt us.

-----------------

Great Ys'gymallsmotora, not all of us have forgotten you. But we had almost lost hope; why did you wait so long to return?

[jqavins]

Did I kill the thread? I'm sorry. I could withdraw the question and come up with another.

[Thunderfist12]

Great Ys'gymallsmotora, not all of us have forgotten you. But we had almost lost hope; why did you wait so long to return?

The Great: Great what? What the devils are you - oh. I see. I had nearly forgotten that name, dust-child, for I have not borne so much as a rune for the past eon. Pray tell, where do your people say I went?

???: In honesty m'lord, they don't.

The Great: *scoffs* I'd thought as much. Have you heard of the Battle of Karadheine, when I battled the hag Czyra Ys'Ladrian?

???: Of course, m'lord. They say you fled the hill.

The Great: DO THEY NOW?

???: Many pardons, m'lord.

The Great: Accepted, soldier. In truth, I never fled the grounds - nor had I perished. Although in a manner you could say I had...

???: I don't understand, m'lord.

The Great: Neither do I, entirely. It's quite hazy - a few millennia in the Underworld can do that to a man.

???: The Underworld?

The Great: Yes.

???: So you met the Faceless One then?

The Great: Obviously.

???: What was he like?

The Great: Boring. His half-wit lackey of a gatekeeper held better conversation in his sleep. Which was when I slit his throat and escaped.

???: YOU DID WHAT???

The Great: Did I stutter, soldier?

???: No, my liege. But... if you killed the Gate-Keeper...

The Great: Yes. My return brought about these hordes of undead. If I had known I would never have dreamed of escaping. I grow tired of these questions, soldier, and we need to stop to make camp before the sun rises.

???: But m'lord -

The Great: Now.

???: Yes, m'lord.

--------------

Master Gransmyr? Why are the undead so afraid of water?

[jqavins]

All know that the undead are harmed by holy water, is it not so? But all water comes from Grandfather Sky and flows to Grandmother Sea, giving life along its way. And the life that water brings blesses the water in return, with algae and fish and, yes, even with its leavings. (With its leavings? You mean poop and pee bless the water? Yes, dear, because that too is part of life. Up to a point. Ewwww! Hush.) So all water is holy, at least a little. Oh, not all of it can harm the undead, but it hurts them and it reminds them - those that can think at all - of their vulnerability. So they fear it, as well they should. Now, drink up, and remember to thank your Grandfather for his holy gift.
----------
Grandpa, have you ever seen an orc? My friend Sally sais she saw one, but Ezra says he was only half orc. If orcs are so different from us, how come they look like us. Well, mostly like us.

[falcon1]

The differences are inside, little one. An orc's soul is connected to storms. That is why they always rage and roar, for they are thunder and wind trapped in mortal flesh. A half orc feels the call of the storm all the same. Of course, orcs do look a bit different.

What about the goblins, Grandpa?

[DemonicAngel]

Ah yes, the goblins. the greenskins, cousins of orcs, gnomes and kobolds.

what do you mean, you never knew orcs and gnomes were related? orcs, although some think are demon-blooded, are actually connected to Storms. And you do remember the stories about the gnome in the sky? yes, the one with the gods and the thunder.

well, orcs were the creation of the great god warrior, demon blood, and the spark of lightning from the gnome itself.
but the great warrior god did not notice he missed a few drops of the demon blood, that dripped down into the earth, to the lairs of the kobolds.

kobolds, with all their mischievous technologies, worshiped the storm gnome for all his power! lightning and thunder! and when they found those drops of blood, imbued with power from different spheres of influence, and charged with the electrifying energy of their god,they decided they must make use of it! with their knowledge of science,, they did what no other mortal race has ever done, created new life!

but alas, the gods saw it, and were displeased. and thus,the trickster god decided he had enough, and created an accident,as one of the kobolds slipped into one of the incubation vets, and destroyed the research, but creating something new! combining the horrid appearance of the orcs, with the malevolence of the kobolds.

thus came the goblins, who we now see as pests, as they attack our farms and steal our cattle. thankfuly, they're knowledge of techonology isnt a grand as their kobold creators.

-------

My love, why does the war wage?

[Obesesniper93]

My love, why does the war wage?

Because the greed of men and the chaotic Nature of the Tiefling will fuel their rivalry on this land until were all dead.

------------------------------

Brother, where did the Orcs go?

[RazDelacroix]

Brother, where did the Orcs go?

Well, if you would look over that hill yonder, you'll see a whole lot of them heading northward. Something about some relic-city-throne-thing hidden in the peaks of the Ever Red Ice mountain. They really did not want to talk to ME about it, but... Oh hey one of them orcs is a girl... Okay lil bro, time for you to become a MAN! Go adventuring! First quest, get that girl to a festival! Then, when spring comes go make some half-orc kids for Mom to spoil!

Or you can just follow them to Ever Red Ice and see what's there. Your call.



"Oh Elder of the Chronicle Wall, how did the Ever Red Ice come to be what it is?"

[jqavins]

Oh Elder of the Chronicle Wall, how did the Ever Red Ice come to be what it is?

Once the mountains were warm and green. See here on the wall, long long ago, how the mountain has trees? And then the dwarves found gold under the ground, and the elves found magic in the trees. At first, these only brought more joy to the mountain, for gold delights dwarves, and magic elves; and humans, orcs, halflings, goblins, and many others came to the mountains to trade for the gold and the magic, which made everybody prosperous and happy.

Oh, but joy soon gave way to greed, as so often happens in the world. The dwarves wanted more and more mines, disrupting the elves' groves. And the mountain turned chill. And the elves used magic to make the groves grow larger until their roots wrecked the dwarves' mines. And the mountain became cold. Humans, hungry for the dwarves' gold, would at once help defend the mines against the elves and also steal the gold for themselves. Colder grew the mountain, and the rocky places were sprinkled with blood. The goblins - well, I'm sure you can guess - they coveted the elves' magic, so they acted much like the humans, both defending the elves and stealing from them. And snow fell in the groves, where snow had never been known, and the snow was red with the blood of many races. The war is on the wall, just here.

For centuries war raged, snow fell, and blood flowed. In time, all the magical groves and dazzling mines were gone, but the wars raged on, driven only by hate. The snow and the blood fell, and froze, and stayed. And still wars are fought on the mountain today.

Here you see the mountain painted on the wall, covered in red ice. So it has been for years beyond memory (which is why it must be recorded on the wall) and so it will stay. Forever? Perhaps. Perhaps only until something can bring back the joy of those rich, fertile early times. But who can dig mines though frozen blood, and what will grow in it? I think it will be a very very long time before there is any answer to that question.
--------------------
Grandpa, I know how the sun goes out at night while it's flying from the west to the east, and I know that the stars fall because they lose their grip on the sky. But what are the stars, anyhow?

[Belac93]

They are the oldest of the old gods, child. They did their work long ago, and now they have their fun flying around the world, forever.

Grandfather, why do the undead hate us?

[jqavins]

Grandfather, why do the undead hate us?

Because they are jealous of us. Being only half alive they are jealous of the fully living.

Grandma, where do the Northern Lights come from?