Pirates III- At Forum's End

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

*The many members of the SMBG' forums and sub-forums all line up and board the cruise ship affectionately called "Embrace the Madness." Its a celebration of the history and joy of the Silly Message Board Game forums and its sub-forums.
Its well designed and split into sections, representing the structured games and the Town. There is a game of Playground Squares played nightly and Trogdonald's is personally catering this affair.

The passengers all mingle and wave to the Friendly Banter folk who watch from the shore as the "Madness" sets sail. The FB people mutter because their forum never holds a cruise party although with so many secret crushes,perhaps a night of Spin the Bottle may be a good idea for the Banterers.

After only a few hours at sea, Timberwolf wins an intense "Answer a Question with a Question" tournament, with the classic "What are we going to do tonight, Brain?" Her opponent, the lovable German Shepard, Barnabas, could only reply with "The same thing we do every night, Pinky," which was not a question, and so he lost.

That evening, the party-goers settled down for supper. The finest bamhacon money can buy was brought in and everyone ate like kings, except Zeb who felt he should eat like a rebel. As supper was ending, El Jaspero hopped on stage to play banjo while the people danced. It was a surprise to all whenever El Jaspero brings his banjo down on Des' head. Des stumbled, surprised, by the assault, then by the skewering that El J performs on his interal organs. Obed-hai, a local plant deity that wanders around in Town occassionally gasps as it grows hard to breathe. His coffee cup falls and shatters to the ground. Seren tries to flee but is tripped and attacked by a gang of pirates. She is quickly dispatched, but at least she was tripped and didn't fall.

*El Jaspero stands on stage and hollers* "I used to be the big man on the forums! My post count was in the millions and then you all took it away! Now I'm not even a Titan! I'm just a bug bear. Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do about it. Me and my loyal crew are going to kill you all and loot you of your post counts. We'll split them up between us and soon we will all be titans once again and you will all be ghosts in the playground! Literally!"

*The crazed laughter of El Jaspero and his pirate crew fill the halls of the ship as you run to your cabin for safety.*

Seren, Des, and Obed-hai were all killed by pirates.
Night 1 begins and will end at 11PM EST on Wednesday. Please PM all night actions to Indurain; Atreyu the Masked Llama; Alarra.


Players

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Alive:
akaziel
evnafets
Faerwain
Ink
janusnori
Kyrian
Lord Magtok
shadow
Raldor
Supagoof
Timberwolf
whitehelm
Zar Peter
Zeb the troll

Dead:
Bookboy, smbger lynched day 1
hyramgraff, smbger killed night 2
vonriel, legion, korith lynched day 2
vicarin, smbger, autolynched day 2
The Almighty One, smbger, autolynched day 2
Serlahc, smbger, autolynched day 2
Inky 13112, smbger, autolynched day 2
fleeing coward, smbger, killed night 3
Castaras, smbger, lynched day 3
bassetking, legion, killed night 4
Calamity, smbger, killed day 4
Jontom Xire, smbger, killed night 5
Artemis 97, smbger, lynched day 6
Captain Van Der Decken, alarra or atreyu, killed night 7
B-man, smbger, lynched day 7
Eldritch Knight, legionaire, killed night 8
Smellie Hippie, smbger, lynched day 8
DolieMaster, thes or trog, killed night 9
Funky Odor, thes or trog, killed night 9
Khaldan, smbger, lynched day 9
Malmagor Legionaire, killed night day 10
almighty salmon, Legionaire (I think) lynched day 11
Pingcode Killed night 11
Lord Fullbladder, lynched Day 11
Helgraf, Killed night 12

Current Votes (as of 3:55pm, Thursday July 26th)

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Has Not Voted: 19

Roles (partial list at this point)

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(Alpha Pirate) = El Jaspero - The Pirate King is out to steal your post count. He chooses one person to be Smellie Hippie. He also scries as a normal passenger.

(Devil) = Smellie Hippie - Hippie uses his coffee senses to find the roles of one person each night. He scries as a pirate.

(The Seer)=Alarra- Alarra's puppy dog eyes and overall kindness can convince just about anyone to give up their role and the rumors of her networks can further help her sniff out the truth.
Each night Alarra may investigate someone and discern their role.

(The Baner)= Indurain-This naked emperor has fought in the halls of Valhalla and has spoken at the beginning of many an arena battle. His fighting skills are unmatched.
Each night he vows to protect someone from harm and watches over them. If anyone attacks that person, Indurain will protect them and send the villian home aching.

(The Fool)=Atreyu the Masked llama- Atreyu often tries to use logic to find the wolves and often the theories he comes up with are dead wrong despite their feasibilty. His history of bad guesses and inaccurate logic is quite long, but still he tries. Each night, Atreyu will piece together the clues and come up with an explanation that he is sure is correct. Sadly, Atreyu often yearns of being a Moderator and having a neat custom title and all the other perks of Modhood and sometimes imagines that he is Alarra. (There was no way to write that sentence and not make it sound ......awkward.)

(The Feuders) = Zombie Rock star and Korith - These two hate each other. They will not be happy unless the other is dead. The goal of each of these characters is to see the other one dead by any means neccessary. They can only win if the other is killed, but once the other feuder is dead, all the living feuder has to do to win is survive until the end of the game, regardless of which team wins.

The Legion of Fran will represent the Masons. Older membes of the SMBG's may remember the Legion from its prime back in March-July of 2006. Its distinguished members include its current leader Ceika, the amazing Supagoof, the violent Kyrian, the man with the talking toad called Reijas, and many more. The Legion used to battle the forces of Narf, but for this game they will attempt to protect the boat from the evil pirates and the dread AMENites.

The AMENites are vile ruthless evil people who started out as a small blight on SMBG's but grew in power and number. They are representing the role of "The Cult" The cult was first introduced in Mafia II and starts as a single person, but each night the cult recruits a new member. To win, there must be no one but cult members alive.

(Cult Leader)=Lord Magtok- His cold, evil, cybernetic ways have brought him quickly to the front of the evil movement, and other evil playgrounders find themselves compelled to join his corrupt group. The cult may only recruit members as long as the cult leader is alive.

(Lovers) = Two hearts who beat as one. If one member dies, so does the other.

Current Time: Day 9, Ends 11pm EST, Thursday, July 25.

[Bassetking]

((If the Vessel is named "Embrace the Madness"...

And the Ship's bell strikes the hour...

Is that the Madness taking its toll? ))

[pingcode20]

"Well you have fun doing that." replies Pingcode, sitting back down and giving El Jaspero a thumbs up.

He tapes a little bit of paper to his table and waits patiently for the inevitable roar of pointing and counterpointing the next day.

He also takes a red marker and draws a large red dot over his heart.

How to kill Pingcode and steal his posts
1. Stab in location marked in RED marker.
2. Wear surgical gloves on hands.
3. Make incision along left side of avatar.
4. Remove mailbox from under left lung.
5. Make incision across back of right shin and remove key.
6. Unlock mailbox with key and remove posts.
7. Dispose of waste forumite responsibly.

[Khaldan]

khaldan puts up a giant 'DONT PANIC!' poster up in his cabin while trying to remember why he got on this boat..

[Fleeing Coward]

The Coward runs back to his room muttering something about pirates ruining yet another of his vacations as he locks the door to his room and hides in the back of his closet.

[Helgraf]

"Tis an ill wind that bodes no good. To Lethe, and sleep, and hopes of a wakeful morn!"

[Funkyodor]

"Ok, Ok, get it together Funky." Hmm, what am I forgetting? *Sits down on foot stool* Doors closed, locked, fake me is in bed, blankie is under the bed. Heh Heh, that'll fool those El Jaspero pirates for sure. Maybe I should go for the double fake and put the fake me under the bed? Man, decisions decisions, I might not get any sleep if I keep this.... Zzzzzzz... Zzzzzzz...

[whitehelm]

whitehelm puts what few posts he has in his safe, and then hides the safe somewhere SECRET.

[Ink]

Ink pointedly ignores the commotion and walks noiselessly back to his cabin. A red and white bullseye hangs from the back of the door, and a second later three shuriken fly from his hand and plant themselves in the target. Ink retrieves the throwing stars and settles quietly into the shadows of the cabin. One thing is for sure, if he sees any sign of a pirate, he'll be ready.

((Hey Atreyu, how about putting up the role descriptions in the first post?))

[Jontom Xire]

Jontom sidles surrepticiously away. With no avatar he finds it surprisingly easy. Then he disappears off to hide somewhere secret and ...ummm... hidden. Hiding in his cabin would, he feels, make it too easy for him to be found and killed, and the locks on the doors are frankly flimsy.

[Shadow]

After having one-too-many gin & tonics with one-too-many drunken showgirls, Shadow decides that it's time for a good old fashioned skinny dip.

Unfortunately, what he mistook in his drunken stupor for the ship's showgirls was actually a bingo team vacationing from Miami.
Too much gin tends to do that at times....

Even more unfortunately, security notices him peeing in the pool and promptly banishes him to his room for the night.

While he's being escorted to his cabin, Shadow escapes their clutches for a moment and decides to climb the railing, yelling "I'm king of the world!"
He then passes out onto the deck and is carried off to his room by the much more sober and boring staff of the vessel only to awaken in the morning, hopefully in time for a mimosa or two.

[Zar Peter]

Zar Peter is standing on the deck and watching the night sky through his telescope.

Pirates who steal posts, eh? Thank goodness the SMBG posts don't count so I have nothing to lose!
And Shadow don't know when to stop with Gin. Maybe I will have a word with him tomorrow at the bar. Today I think he is not allowed to go there.

[Almighty Salmon]

I dash back to my room and slam the door behind me.

"Why!? Why do they want my posts! I'm just a pixie! Mine would hardly contribute.."

I lock my door and hide under my bed. Waiting anxiously to see what happens.

[Akaziel]

Akaziel decides to look out at the calm blue ocean, to get his mind off post-snatching pirates. Lousy no-good pirates... Trying to steal my posts... just after I got to Halfling status, too... *grumblegrumble*

[smellie_hippie]

I got knocked over and smashed on the first post!? No wait.... I'm still talking. That means that's not me on the floor there... leaking my precious coffee across the floor. Unless I'm a ghost. Didn't they say something about being a ghost? I don't want to be a ghost!

*Smellie_Hippie runs around frantically until someone points out that he is actually running and not dead on the floor. He then sits down and has a drink.*

[doliemaster]

Doliemaster smiles from his room watching all this through the porthole, before paling, dashing out of his room muttering,"Dolies for luck, Ham sandwhichs for protection."

[Vhaidara]

Bookboy, hearing about post-theft, does his best not to sit in a corner and look like a plot hook.

[B-Man]

B-Man runs to his cabin, at a loss for words, and slams his door behind him. He cradles a large jar of ground coffee beans and rocks back and forth.

When he regains his senses, he moves a picture of a safe to reveal a safe behind it. He spins the combination, opens it, and places the jar safely beside the many other jars of coffee. He closes the safe and hides it.

B-Man then flops on his bed and tries to fall asleep. He continually tosses and turns.

...I knew having 25 cups o' coffee was a bad idea... he says to himself.

[Captain van der Decken]

"Heheh.. them crazy pirates, eh?" Decken says, grinning nervously.

[Supagoof]

Supagoof looks around at the other passengers before heading to his cabin. He makes a few quick mental notes as to their actions, reading as he had in the past, the subtle hints of detection every villian inevitably pushes forth. As he enters his cabin, he opens up a storage locker and begins to pull out a few items. He thinks about times past when life was simpler in the forums.

He sets aside a plaque, a belt, and a bobble head. Any observer looking closer would find most of these items in his sig. But he digs a little deeper and finds a key and an old badge. He rubs the dust of the badge, on one side a enscription reading "Officer # 1" is engraved. On the other side, the work G.U.F.I.P.O.L.I.C.E is stamped. Supagoof pins the badge upon his chest. He tucks the key in his pocket, the letters S.M.B.R. are visible just before the key disappears into the pocket's folds. He pulls out another item, a shield marking the membership into the Legion. Though he long ago had ties to this organization, he had let the shield gather too much dust and the bonds be forgotten. With any luck other members, still noble in the cause would be aboard. If not, then the former Captain of the Gufipolice and Legionary of Protection would do what he could to find and fend off these pirates.

He looks over at his bunkmate, a large 1/2 orge 1/2 orc. He quietly wonders if Graklok would assist him. Yeah, of course he would. The big guy always did what he could when he was asked. Supagoof takes his bunk, and despite Graklok's snores, he falls asleep.

[Artemis97]

A dark haired woman leans against the railing staring out at the ocean and muttering to herself. "Darn Pirates, what right do they have to spoil our cruise? and all over a silly post count too. Don't they know it's not how many posts you have but their quality that counts? *sigh* I hate pirates, never should have dated that one..."

[Castaras]

Castaras looks around, pies circling round her.

Hmm. Interesting.

She turns to Smellie Hippie.

While we wait for El J(Who must have gone insane!) to come kill us, could you get me some coffee please?

@V <.< >.> You saw nothing.

[Alarra]

It's night sweetie.

[Madmal]

((i saw it... ))

Mal decides to wait too, besides, he's been sleeping all day long, and couldn't sleep even if he was knocked over...

[faerwain]

Faerwain stands perplexed at the ensuing chaos.
"Titan? Bugbear? Post count?"

He grabs one of the running New Pixie Characters.:

"Are there other ranks than Pixie? What are they? How do I get them? What do they do? How many post counts can I get? Does it count when I post my favourite recipe? And my adress? Or my favourite song? Where are you running...?"

With the decision to find out more about this mysterious post counts tomorrow, he wanders to his cabin.

[Eldritch Knight]

"Hey! That's my Peanut! And why is all the rum gone?" Eldritch Knight chases after the cloaked figure who has stolen his secret stash. What is most confusing is that EK doesn't drink, so why would he have rum in his secret stash? Even more mindboggling is the fact that EK is allergic to peanuts...

[Madmal]

Mal watches EK running past by...

oh, that's it...this is getting annoying...and more importantly...i'm sinking into boredoom...

*takes a shotgun out and begins to chase after EK*

No impersonations of famous movie characters here!! Just go away, Ben!!

((kudos if you figure out the webcomic reference))

[Artemis97]

Artemis watches Mal chase after EK. "We've been out of port for less than a day and we're already trying to kill each other? This is going to be a fun voyage." She laughs and shakes her head.

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

During the night, the passengers are awoken by a noise.

if you make a DC 35 listen check, you awaken to the sounds of someone unlocking a door and opening it.

one round later, if you make a DC 30 listen check, you'll hear El Jaspero yell "Die Barbarian." Followed by him yelling "Who are you?"

one round later, if you make a DC 25 check, you'll be awakened by a man boasting "I'm the Emperor and the elected king and I protect my subjects. Run El Jaspero, or face the wrath of Indurain."

one round later, if you make a DC 20 listen check, you'll hear or be awakened by the sounds of a good old fashioned canadian beatdown. The trademark sounds of a Canadian beatdown include the sound of steel chopping into wood, stone smacking into flesh, and someone ordering a "20 pack of Timbits".

If you're still asleep at this point, a listen check DC 15 will wake you up as you hear El Jaspero running away, swearing loudly.

Anyone still asleep will wake up as another pirate is thrown out of Shadow's room through the door.

Anyone who goes to investigate will find Shadow alone in his room, his mouth hanging open in horror. All Shadow can say is "He...he saved me...he fought them off....but..but.....*cries*...he was naked! It was horrible. It was everywhere."

Shadow was attacked by pirates, but was protected by Indurain.

Day will end at 11 PM EST on Friday night. Well, it will end sometime Friday night, since Friday is supposed to be the GitP meet up.

(p.S The checks are just flavor text. There is no need to really make listen checks. )

[Artemis97]

Artemis runs down the hall when she hears the commotion. Seeing the destruction of the door she asks. "Is everyone alright?"