Bards ?

[johnbragg]

The problem with the way D&D does it is that most songs are way too long. How many songs do you know that can be played in six seconds. Even for jingles that's pushing it.

This is a very good point. My vague counter-example is the rush of excitement in a wrestling crowd when the iconic first note/sound of a big star's theme music hitting. I can make some pretty convincing arguments for bardic music-magic, but it's all slowtime magic compared to combat rounds.

[Bohandas]

You know what's messed up? The spell that conjures up purple rain (Evil Weather, Corrupt 8, BOVD pg 94) isn't a bard spell.

[Fri]

It's not technically bard, but slightly related.

Dragoon in Final Fantasy XIV MMO have a skill called battle litany, it increases critical hit rate for the whole party.

So I put a macro whenever mt use that skill. "Chanting Battle Litany: We will, we will rock you...!"

I just thought that's exactly what a battle litany would be

[Storm_Of_Snow]

The implication with the Lancre Morris Men is that they "render the elves incapable of fighting back" by bludgeoning their brains out with the sticks they use in their Morris dance, which is a bit closer to a martial art the way it's performed on the Disk.

Sorry, but the Elves are mesmerised by their dancing, which is how the Morris men are able to bludgeon them to death.

The Eddie Valiant and the weasels thing is heavily mystical (the vulnerability of toons to certain things), combined with a hidden, somewhat mystical, ability of Eddie (he really did have a Sense of Humor).

I wouldn't say a sense of humour's mystical - Eddie just stopped using his after his brother died at the hands of a toon.

I guess another thing to consider is that some bards might be able to do something with natural skill, while others might need mystical help to produce the same effect - the technological version would be where some singers can absolutely captivate an audience with just their voice, while which ever talentless no-hoper that normally couldn't carry a tune in a bucket that Simon Cowell picks to have their name on the Christmas number one album, and who'll vanish roughly five weeks later, gets autotuned to the nth degree .

[Thrudd]

This is a very good point. My vague counter-example is the rush of excitement in a wrestling crowd when the iconic first note/sound of a big star's theme music hitting. I can make some pretty convincing arguments for bardic music-magic, but it's all slowtime magic compared to combat rounds.

Lol...it's a bard that only knows the first three notes of "Master of Puppets", and just plays that over and over as his combat "song". But it totally pumps everyone up.

DUN dun dun DUUUUN.

[JBPuffin]

In one of my stories, I had a combat artist - she drew with a stylus, then her artwork came to life and she controlled in telepathically. That is, until she multiclassed into soulknife...

I also had the classic sing-and-stab guy with a keytar-sword; he also multiclassed, but used his primary ability more than the other.

They were also siblings...

[Tiktakkat]

I wouldn't say a sense of humour's mystical - Eddie just stopped using his after his brother died at the hands of a toon.

In the context of the milieu of the movie, it pretty much is. Otherwise everyone would be an R.K. Maroon, and Roger wouldn't be so amazed at what Eddie is capable of when he lets his sense of humor loose.

Indeed, it even seems a tad mystical in the real world sometimes.

[Mutazoia]

Traditionally, a bard was a kind of Celtic lore master and teacher, in a time where very few people outside of the nobility, could read. Knowledge was passed from generation to generation orally, and the best way to do this was either with a catchy tune, or a story in the from of an epic poem.

So, although it is traditional for a Bard to be able to play any musical instrument, they can also inspire through voice alone (never underestimate the power of a rousing speech before a battle).

[Stealth Marmot]

The problem with the way D&D does it is that most songs are way too long. How many songs do you know that can be played in six seconds. Even for jingles that's pushing it.

[CharonsHelper]

The problem with the way D&D does it is that most songs are way too long. How many songs do you know that can be played in six seconds. Even for jingles that's pushing it.

Well - it's still 4 seconds too long - though you could probably use a faster tempo (though it would require changing one word).

[Mutazoia]

Did someone mention songs that are too long?

[Fiery Diamond]

Did someone mention songs that are too long?

So there's a Mandela Effect thing with that song. Look at the title of the video, and then listen to the song in the video. Notice: "Song that never ends" vs "Song that doesn't end." That's the big part that I think many people have. I, personally, also have other parts that I remember wrongly. As I (mis)remember it, it goes:

This is the song that never ends
It just goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And they just kept on singing it forever just because
(and then it loops)

[Mutazoia]

Well - it's still 4 seconds too long - though you could probably use a faster tempo (though it would require changing one word).

that's still too long....

[Bohandas]

Not a big fan of the concept, either. Magical music I can see a niche for, but music that is used in combat, often while the person is also fighting, not so much. Especially in WotC editions of D&D, they are far too lax on how many and what sort of things characters can do while they are supposedly engaged in combat and being threatened by deadly attacks.

It works more realistically with non-instrument perform skills. I think the most realistic in combat would be (in descending order):

Dance (compare Capoeira)
Buffoonery (compare Zui Quan)
Chanting
Oratory
Human beatbox
song

Or occasionally their guitar pick (Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny)

Or the score itself, unrelated to who's playing it (Read or Die, Tenacious D: Tribute, the Worldwide Recorder Concert episode of Southpark, and cthulhu mythos works relating to Hastur), which honestly makes the most sense out of all of these.

or a belt (edit: warning: I forget whether this particular clip has coarse language or not, but it's from ATHF so it might). I forgot that one the first time.

[Pauly]

If you look at some of the Renaissance artists, there's a few that would translate into Bards in D+D terms. Caravaggio in particular springs to mind. Maybe in combat he could be describing how epic his painting of this scene isgoing to be.

[LibraryOgre]

You know what's messed up? The spell that conjures up purple rain (Evil Weather, Corrupt 8, BOVD pg 94) isn't a bard spell.

You hear that sobbing?

This is what it sounds like when doves cry.

[Tiktik Ironclaw]

Personally, I rather like the idea of a bard jamming on a magical electric guitar to inspire his allies, but my rocker bards (as opposed to folk bards) are able to cause sonic explosions, deafen people, and, at 18th-level, outright cause people to bow down before you. And all the abilities are named after Rock songs.