Ninjas vs. Pirates vs. Robots

[Muz]

A storm is coming...

And right to my very own place of work, too.

[Castaras]

Woah...that sounds awesome! You lucky person...

I wanna see it! But I don't think I'd be able to...This annoying Pond in the way...

[Serpentine]

Robots are okay, but it's the robot clones you really have to watch out for.

[Khantalas]

You haven't had a real fight unless you had robotic pirate ghosts.

[Muz]

Well, there was a battle last year, apparently. Maybe there'll be pirate robot ghosts from that, too.

Don't miss the movie URL in the article. 'Tis...amusing.

[Khantalas]

OK, robots can't win in that plating. Limits their general mobility way too much.

(And shame on you for not getting the reference.)

[drawingfreak]

Sounds kinda like something that happened at my school last month.
The Battle of Forsyth
Two armies battle to the death for dominance. Fun fun fun!

[Koga]

The pirates lost the moment they decided to make it an all woman team. It's a known fact men are much better at being drunken troglodytes who rape and pillage then women could ever be!

Best women can hope for is to show thier "treasure chests" and hope to demorale the ninja and robots.


But any good ninja has trained himself to be asexual and is not phased by such cheap tricks.

And robots have no need for boobies, robots have no need for anything besides the scorched flesh of a destroyed human!



The ninja will probably fail too, the mixed genders will create relationships and they will sacrifice eachother for the sake of the loved one. Jedi proverb: Nothing worse then love.

Robots don't feel love! And how could they when it's just hairy, smelly, man-bots?!

Albeit if inverse law does take effect the last opposing ninja could pose as a problem, and he'd do good to turn pirates and robots against one another...


But ultimately the robots will win. That's The Koga's prediction anyway. You humans and your petty class based societies and futile attempts at fair-play! Not taking advantage of optimizing each according to thier race and gender!

"Mussolini!"
"Karl Marx!"
"Stalin!"
"Koga!"
"Jack the ripper! ...Why am I here again guys?"


Go Go Evil Rangers!
Mighty Statist Evil Rangeeeers!


Why do I gotta be Zordon?! I am zee fuhrer!

Koga: Because nobody likes you Hitler, and we can't afford to lose funds cause of you...

[Castaras]

The pirates lost the moment they decided to make it an all woman team. It's a known fact men are much better at being drunken troglodytes who rape and pillage then women could ever be!

Best women can hope for is to show thier "treasure chests" and hope to demorale the ninja and robots.

....

RAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH!

*Swashbuckling mutilaty death with katana*

That is for my female pirate friends.

[Samurai General]

THATS AWESOME.

[Mr. Moon]

...

Sweet. Lucky bastard, that looks like fun. My school should totaly do that. I'd even join the Drama crew if it ment I could involve in it. To bad the Drama teacher hates violence...

Record it for us! I don't care if you have to use your freaken' cell phone! Record it and post it!

....

RAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH!

*Swashbuckling mutilaty death with katana*

That is for my female pirate friends.

*joins in on the stabbing* That was for Anne Bony and... what was her name? Mary Read or something? Well, whatever her name was, the pair of them were an amazing team. They were told to be feircer then some of the male pirates.

[Koga]

MC you don't even like pirates, you're a ninja! XD

[Mr. Moon]

MC you don't even like pirates, you're a ninja! XD

I can't apreciate good pirates then?

Oh well. Just to make you happy...

OMIGODITSKABUTO! KABUTO I LOVE YOU! I WILL HAVE YOUR BABBIES! *fangirl squeal*

There, you happy?

[Penguinsushi]

The pirates lost the moment they decided to make it an all woman team...

...Best women can hope for is to show thier "treasure chests".

I think these two statements are mutually exclusive. The article *did* say the winner is generally determined by the audience...


Anyway, that's pretty cool, Muz. Let us know how it turns out.

~PS

[Muz]

I doubt I'll be out there when it actually happens, unfortunately, as I'll be stuck in my office most of the day and they don't pre-advertise the battle time. I'll keep an eye out, though.

And what is this "cell-phone" thing you speak off?

[Mr. Moon]

I doubt I'll be out there when it actually happens, unfortunately, as I'll be stuck in my office most of the day and they don't pre-advertise the battle time. I'll keep an eye out, though.

And what is this "cell-phone" thing you speak off?

...

*falls out of computer chair*

[Shott]

Ha, that's sweet. The best thing like that I've ever gotten was pirate vs. ninja day at school during spirit week. It's good to be class president. =D

[baltor85]

Sounds kinda like something that happened at my school last month.
The Battle of Forsyth
Two armies battle to the death for dominance. Fun fun fun!

DUDE! You were in the battle of Forsyth?!? That was freaking awesome! It inspired me to create a whole suit of armor and weapons out of cardboard and duct tape, just incase my school would follow along.

[suncrafter]

"Ninjas vs. Pirates vs. Robots" sounds like a great title for a video game! Just saying. :)

[AngelAndrius]

OMG Koga, you are SOOOOO wrong, the ninjas would OBVIOUSLY win. They would just like, ninja-step inside of the robots and chill there until the robots completely decimmated the pirates. They'd just be like hiding in the joints of teh robot or whatever ninja-invisible. So not only do you have robots, you have robots with shuriken flying out at them. Once the pirates were gone, they'd just grab a fistful of wires and ta da, the robts would be dust. As for the crowd, they would just kill everyone who didn't vote for them in between heartbeats.

ninjas pwon

just askaninja.com

[drawingfreak]

DUDE! You were in the battle of Forsyth?!? That was freaking awesome! It inspired me to create a whole suit of armor and weapons out of cardboard and duct tape, just incase my school would follow along.

INDEED! I was one of the "Bunny Barbarians". We wore stuffed Easter rabbits on our heads as our "helmets". It was a whole lot of fun.

[Koga]

"Ninjas vs. Pirates vs. Robots" sounds like a great title for a video game! Just saying. :)

The Koga had an idea for a videogame that would be ninja versus pirates. It'd be like Fable, but the alingment system is replaced with a compass of more ninja or pirate.


If you offical become pirate, you have access to badass weapons ninja or neutrals cannot wield. There are some ninja only weapons, but they don't compare to that of pirates! Ultimately neutral gets the shaft, as it should be. D&D made the mistake of giving neutrals all the bennefits. When you hit pirate stage in alignment, you also gain more HP and stat-points when you level. There are some pirate only spells, but they can't rival ninja.

However becoming ninja despite the lack of good weapons and being unable to wear armor (which pirates can), have access to the most spells.


The ultimate reward is if you become pure pirate or pure ninja.

Pure pirates gain the best spell in the game (despite how they were getting shafted earlier in that regard) which regnerates all your health!

Pure ninja gain the best weapon in the game (despite being restricted so much earlier) which is the lightsaber! The lightsaber's damage cannot be healed!


Ultimately it sounds like the ninja has a clear advantage over the pirate, (thier best spell is useless against ninja's best weapon..) but you forget pirates were having better weapons from the get-go. So they're probably attacking from a distance with a gun or wielding a giant axe that does more damage then the lightsaber! Most ninja spells have little to do with healing.


Bassicaly pirates are a gestalt cleric/fighter.

Ninja are a gestalt rogue/wizard.

[Marek]

Pirates beat ninja's. Why you ask? Because honestly,

Spoiler

Show

As for Pirates versus Robots, it's kind of a tossup. Depends on how much rum we have to short-circuit their machinery.

[SurlySeraph]

Counter-argument: Yes, but ninjas do not NEED wenches. Ninjas have self-control, unlike most meatbags. Rhetorical Question:And what if the robots' circuitry is water-proof? What'll you do then, meatbag?

[Emperor Ing]

In the age of robots being able to think for themselves, ninjas and pirates would get upgrades aswell, so ninjas would lean towards more efficient stealth, movement, and killing, and I always was a ninja guy.

Ninjas FTW!

[Cyrano]

Counter-argument: Yes, but ninjas do not NEED wenches. Ninjas have self-control, unlike most meatbags. Rhetorical Question:And what if the robots' circuitry is water-proof? What'll you do then, meatbag?

Yeah, but the kind of self control that makes you not NEEEEED wenches is the kind of self control that gets you lynched at parties. I'd rather have my fun and eat the livers of my enemies too, not just one.

And if the robots' circuitry is water-proof? Why do we care? This is rum. It is responsible for the sinking of the Titanic, and could dissolve adamantium with enough use.

[Marek]

If we cannot short-circuit them with rum, than by god we shall rust them into useless heaps of junk! Given enough time and stimulus anything can oxidize, though some things just take a really, really long time.

As for the ninjas not needing wenches, we shall release their inhibitions with fused TIR cannonballs (Tactical Intoxicating Rum), though it seems like a waste of good drink to me.

RUM IS THE ANSWER TO ALL THE WORLDS PROBLEMS!

[Arang]

I saw one angular armor-plated death machine decked out with shield and arm-mounted cannon, and I can only say that you are the luckiest person on Earth for being able to witness it destroying all humans.

[Koga]

Despite how I call myself ninja everyone says i'm pirate. By the way I look, sound, and act.

I don't know, let me rundown it hmmm...

Enemies:
I don't have any real enemies. Only people who aggarvate me. Who I either ignore or quickly punchout one way or another.

Missions:
None really, about the only missions I possess are those that draw me closer to getting a girlfriend or being a ****.

Weapons:
I suck at ranged attacks, and my melee isn't all that good either. I depend on sneak attacks. Which is easy for me because no-one sees me coming anyway. I'm not small, I just go un-noticed.

Alchahol:
Don't drink it. But if I did it'd be primarly for the buzz so I could use drunken fist style by being in a stupor and unable to feel pain or have inhbitions in combat.

Secrecy:
None, i'm tottaly honost about everything. It has nothing to do with honor. I just don't care.

Money:
Don't really care for it either way. But the more I have the less others have. So there's my only real motivation for obtaining more of it.

Magic:
I don't do anything really magical like pirates of the carribean or naruto. I just use cheap tricks of observation and psychology that work.

[Moff Chumley]

Why ninjas are better than pirates or robots: [insert stabbity doom here]
Barrister, I rest my case.