Do waiters judge what kinds of food you order?

[The Eye]

People always told me they don't since they don't even remember your face; you are just one out of many, if you got to a waiter and say “I’ll have the usual” they will mostly likely say “Who the hell are you? Never saw your face before!”.

But, every Thursday I always stop by the same restaurant, right before it opens for lunch, I ask the same meal and usually for the same waiter.

Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

[lunaticfringe]

Yes. People are constantly judging you. It's going to happen for the rest of your life. You do it too.

[Kyberwulf]

The funny thing about this is. you claim to go to the same place, order from the same person. Yet you don't even mention you know her name. I am assuming her.

Do waiters judge people? Yeah, for the most part. They only really remember you if you do something really nice, or are a jerk to them. If you are just some random person who comes in once and you don't do anything particularly memorable. Then no, they don't know remember.

To assume someone is talking about you is kind of arrogant. They could have just been having a conversation. You walk in and they look at you, to acknowledge you then went on with their conversation.

[Razade]

People always told me they don't since they don't even remember your face; you are just one out of many, if you got to a waiter and say “I’ll have the usual” they will mostly likely say “Who the hell are you? Never saw your face before!”.

No they won't. Not if you're a regular customer and they know you by face. They'll go "is that the X"? to make sure they got it right or if you really go there every day and it's always the same waiter they'll just say ok. Hell, I've had a few places that I went to at the same time, every day, the same waiter who had the meal WAITING for me.

But, every Thursday I always stop by the same restaurant, right before it opens for lunch, I ask the same meal and usually for the same waiter.

You were asking for a meal for someone who works somewhere? Or do you mean this waiter is the one that typically takes your order?

Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Maybe? Who cares if they did.

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

Without knowing why he was laughing I'd say...no? Did they then go "you always order the same thing, you must really like that dish"? Did you ask why they were laughing?

Yes. People are constantly judging you. It's going to happen for the rest of your life. You do it too.

Demonstrably he does.

[Knaight]

First things first - it's entirely possible that the conversation was not actually about you, where "entirely possible" translates to "likely". Even if they are judging by the food, who cares? I'm not going to say that you should be able to totally ignore what strangers think of you, because that's an unrealistic expectation and not even particularly desirable, but in this case even the judgement that you're assuming has happened is just a comment that you eat the same thing a lot. It's recognition of a minor quirk*, and is generally seen as recognition of a minor quirk*.

*If that, lots of people eat the same thing a lot.

[SaintRidley]

People always told me they don't since they don't even remember your face; you are just one out of many, if you got to a waiter and say “I’ll have the usual” they will mostly likely say “Who the hell are you? Never saw your face before!”.

But, every Thursday I always stop by the same restaurant, right before it opens for lunch, I ask the same meal and usually for the same waiter.

Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

Well, what do you order?

Because some things are worthy of judgment. Like anyone who orders a steak cooked more than medium rare who is not a child.

[Starwulf]

Well, what do you order?

Because some things are worthy of judgment. Like anyone who orders a steak cooked more than medium rare who is not a child.

No, no it is not worthy of judgement. I really dislike people who get on others cases who don't like their steaks with pink/red in it. I personally will literally gag if I see even a hint of pink in my steak, so it is always well-done. On the other hand, my wife just prefers well-done, and has tried medium-rare and found it to be not to her tastes. Judging people by how they like their food cooked is one of the most rude and idiotic things a person can do, besides of course judging them based on gender/race/sexuality/religion.

As you can tell, I am very opinionated on this subject, I get so sick and tired of chefs/waiters looking at me like I just grew a second or even a third damn head when I ask for my steak to be well-done. You have no right to do so, just do your freaking job and get me my food.

[Aedilred]

The funny thing about this is. you claim to go to the same place, order from the same person. Yet you don't even mention you know her name. I am assuming her.

Even though he refers to him as "he"?

No, no it is not worthy of judgement. I really dislike people who get on others cases who don't like their steaks with pink/red in it. I personally will literally gag if I see even a hint of pink in my steak, so it is always well-done. On the other hand, my wife just prefers well-done, and has tried medium-rare and found it to be not to her tastes. Judging people by how they like their food cooked is one of the most rude and idiotic things a person can do, besides of course judging them based on gender/race/sexuality/religion.

As you can tell, I am very opinionated on this subject, I get so sick and tired of chefs/waiters looking at me like I just grew a second or even a third damn head when I ask for my steak to be well-done. You have no right to do so, just do your freaking job and get me my food.

Maybe it makes them "literally sick" in the same way it makes you "literally gag" to see a trace of pink in your steak?

I don't know about the type of steak you're ordering, but generally there's no point in ordering anything more tender than rump steak anything better-done than "medium". What you're paying for is the tenderness and those steaks tend to have less in the way of flavour: the longer they're cooked the less flavour they retain. Ordering, say, a fillet, well-done is therefore wasting an unnecessarily expensive cut of meat. It's in the same family as, though admittedly not as bad as, ordering the most expensive wine on the menu despite knowing nothing about wine, just because you can. You'd probably be happier with a burger, or a cheaper wine, and it'd save you money too. To someone in a (near enough) minimum-wage job, it doesn't look good.

That's probably why they're judging you. Or maybe you're just oversensitive and perceive them to be judging you when they're not.

[Starwulf]

Even though he refers to him as "he"?

Maybe it makes them "literally sick" in the same way it makes you "literally gag" to see a trace of pink in your steak?

I don't know about the type of steak you're ordering, but generally there's no point in ordering anything more tender than rump steak anything better-done than "medium". What you're paying for is the tenderness and those steaks tend to have less in the way of flavour: the longer they're cooked the less flavour they retain. Ordering, say, a fillet, well-done is therefore wasting an unnecessarily expensive cut of meat. It's in the same family as, though admittedly not as bad as, ordering the most expensive wine on the menu despite knowing nothing about wine, just because you can. You'd probably be happier with a burger, or a cheaper wine, and it'd save you money too. To someone in a (near enough) minimum-wage job, it doesn't look good.

That's probably why they're judging you. Or maybe you're just oversensitive and perceive them to be judging you when they're not.

I don't order fancy steaks, just a flat iron steak or whatever they might have that isn't terribly expensive. And no, they are judging me, I've been asked on many occasions "Are you sure you want it well-done" with a "Eww" look on their face.

And no offense, but I can't imagine how a person orders their food(at least, if it's a common food, I mean..there is balut and stuff like that) would make someone gag, not even if I was shelling out a hundred bucks or more for a steak(as an fyi, I'm poor, the most I've ever shelled out for a meal is $60). I've literally thrown up before because a place I was at sent me out a medium-rare steak, and I wasn't paying attention and took a bite. I immediately knew something was terribly, terribly wrong, looked down, saw the red, and threw up all over the floor(I didn't even have a chance to get up, it was nigh-instant).

And no, I wouldn't be "happier with a hamburger". I love steaks, one of my favorite meals, especially with caramelized onions(yum). And I've had plenty of tender steaks that were well-done. Well-done does not mean "Leathery" or "Burnt" like so many people believe. You can have a perfectly tender well-done steak, but most people, including you apparently, believe it just can't or shouldn't be done. It's not your place(Or their place, or anyone's place) to judge how I eat my food, and that goes triply for the restaurant I'm at. I'm a paying customer, and I'm not asking for anything outrageous, so keep your looks and comments to yourselves and give me my food the way I asked for it.(To be clear, this last part is not directed at you, it's me in a hypothetical restaurant that's being annoying by questioning my food prep).

[Rain Dragon]

It's probably best to not worry too much, OP. It was probably a coincidence or something and if they were judging you, it's pretty hard to say and might just have been a one off thing. Maybe I'm a bit laid back but IME selling things in a small shop, it's pretty pointless for me to judge whoever buying whatever and can even be a bit discouraging to customers if they pick up on it. Everyone has different tastes/interests and that's fine by me.

[sktarq]

*Waiters have conversation*
*OP walks into diner*
*waiter 1 continues conversation*
*waiters 2 holds off so as not to interupt professional relations between waiter 1 and OP*
*joke is completed*
*waiters 1 and 2 laugh*

Why assume they are laughing about you/your order, especially since you seem to think they don't recognize/remember you.

That said I'd say the chance they DON't know you by at least face/order is low. People have pretty good memories and once you show up more than a couple times they generally click in.
I don't think I've actually said what I want to order at my local bar in a couple months (and if I put my stuff down and go to say hi to someone my drink will appear by my stuff-I love that bar).

[JeenLeen]

I'd agree with the others that they likely were not laughing about you, but about something unrelated.
Now, it would be rude if they were laughing at you. I think it is slightly rude, or at least unprofessional, to continue a personal conversation like that around when customers are present--but I think I was way more a stickler for professional courtesy when I worked fast food than most of my co-workers. (I think it's poor taste for employees to carry on personal conversations around customers.)

I'd also say the guy probably does recognize you, but I'd expect it's a positive recognition (assuming you aren't a jerk, which I am very willing to assume, and that your regular isn't something really annoying to make.) A regular is someone whose order is known and thus slightly easier to make--takes less mental processing to make the meal.

I will admit, though, it's possible (if unlikely) they were laughing at you, especially if it's teenagers to college-age kids. Sometimes folk like making a small, mean joke about someone--BUT even if that happened, they probably don't really mean anything about you (as a person) but rather as an abstract customer (yet another cog in the system). Dehumanizing jokes like that stink, but it's best to just try not to take it personally.
But remember, more likely than not, the joke was unrelated to you.

Now, if this continues as you continue to frequent this eatery... well, that seems a reason to feel affronted.

[Keltest]

Speaking as somebody in the service industry, unless you and/or your order regularly inconvenience the staff in some way, its unlikely theyre judging you at all, and even more unlikely that theyre doing so negatively. We get a lot of customers where I work, and while I recognize a lot of faces and can, to a point, even anticipate some of their orders and behaviors, the only people who I could really describe to anybody else would be the people who regularly annoy us. Certainly those are the only people that my co-workers would also be likely enough to recognize to crack a joke about.

[BWR]

Speaking as somebody in the service industry, unless you and/or your order regularly inconvenience the staff in some way, its unlikely theyre judging you at all, and even more unlikely that theyre doing so negatively. We get a lot of customers where I work, and while I recognize a lot of faces and can, to a point, even anticipate some of their orders and behaviors, the only people who I could really describe to anybody else would be the people who regularly annoy us. Certainly those are the only people that my co-workers would also be likely enough to recognize to crack a joke about.

Seconding this. You remember the customers who are exceedingly nice, the ones that show up a lot (several times a week, usually), and the really unpleasant ones. 99+% of people do not fall into this category, and the OP in all probability does not qualify unless s/he is as whiny and complains as much IRL as s/he does here. At worst any recognition is likely to be a neutral "Oh, that person. S/he'll want X, IIRC"

The customers you remember in a bad light usually have to do something special to earn this distinction. The one we called Stinky, for instance. I could literally follow his trail through the store with my nose. I regret testing this hypothesis.

[Kyberwulf]

Not to seem all personal and whatnot. But I get the image of the OP being one of those guys who comes in sullen looking with a chip on the shoulders. No smiles, or akward jokes. I can imagine one of the waiters saying "oh look creepy guy is back."

I say this not as a personal attack or whatever. I am just curious about what people are like who post. When I read some posts, I get this image of what a person looks like, acts like, and just generally carries themselves. I often wonder how they see themselves, and how that differentiates from how I would see them.


I am wondering what kind of food is ordered. IT is never mentioned. The question is asked, Do waiters Judge what kinds of food you order? Yet no mention of food is really given. Is it meant, do they judge the food? Do they judge you for ordering that food? Are they surprised by what you order, versus what kind of food is ordered. Like, if a young woman comes in and orders a mushroom and swiss burger. I would be pretty surprised. Because in my experience that is something that isn't normally ordered by young women. Or if an obese person walks in and orders a copious amount of food. I judge them, both for making me work more, and also why do you need to eat so much?

[Amazon]

Not to seem all personal and whatnot. But I get the image of the OP being one of those guys who comes in sullen looking with a chip on the shoulders. No smiles, or akward jokes. I can imagine one of the waiters saying "oh look creepy guy is back."

I say this not as a personal attack or whatever. I am just curious about what people are like who post. When I read some posts, I get this image of what a person looks like, acts like, and just generally carries themselves. I often wonder how they see themselves, and how that differentiates from how I would see them.


I am wondering what kind of food is ordered. IT is never mentioned. The question is asked, Do waiters Judge what kinds of food you order? Yet no mention of food is really given. Is it meant, do they judge the food? Do they judge you for ordering that food? Are they surprised by what you order, versus what kind of food is ordered. Like, if a young woman comes in and orders a mushroom and swiss burger. I would be pretty surprised. Because in my experience that is something that isn't normally ordered by young women. Or if an obese person walks in and orders a copious amount of food. I judge them, both for making me work more, and also why do you need to eat so much?

I think the OP is more concerned with the fact s/he orders the same dish everyday than what he actually order.

A better question would be: "Do waiters judge you if you order the same food every day?"

[Rynjin]

Maybe they're laughing at you because you look funny and aren't fit, according to the other thread. In fact, everyone is laughing at you. Everywhere you go, see all those smiling faces, laughing voices? They're all talking about you and making fun of you. You're the talk of the town, everywhere. They've all heard of you, and they all find you funny. To laugh at, not with.

That seems the most likely scenario. Or least. I sometimes get those mixed up.

[Amazon]

Maybe they're laughing at you because you look funny and aren't fit, according to the other thread. In fact, everyone is laughing at you. Everywhere you go, see all those smiling faces, laughing voices? They're all talking about you and making fun of you. You're the talk of the town, everywhere. They've all heard of you, and they all find you funny. To laugh at, not with.

That seems the most likely scenario. Or least. I sometimes get those mixed up.

That's kind of rude and uncalled for. Are you projecting your own insecurities on the Op? Tell me more.

[warty goblin]

I don't order fancy steaks, just a flat iron steak or whatever they might have that isn't terribly expensive. And no, they are judging me, I've been asked on many occasions "Are you sure you want it well-done" with a "Eww" look on their face.

The reason waitstaff ask is generally because a lot of people actually don't know what they want, and they're trying to head off the customer having a bad experience and making more work for everybody.

And do restaurant workers judge customers? Oh hell yes, what else is the kitchen staff gonna talk about all evening*? The only truly objectionable customers though are the ones who are either insufferably rude, or treat the menu like a goddamn ingredient list. No, there is not a special on where you can get $20 worth of food for $10, no we won't be happy to make three substitutions and two omissions, and if you wanted the vegetarian entree at the catered wedding you should have put that down on the meal card three months ago, instead of suddenly seeing the error of your meat-eating ways when your actual vegetarian friend's pasta looked good.

Ahem, not that I wished any of those people ill or anything.

*Probably corpse porn, actually. And unfortunately no, I am in no way joking.

[Aedilred]

And do restaurant workers judge customers? Oh hell yes, what else is the kitchen staff gonna talk about all evening*? The only truly objectionable customers though are the ones who are either insufferably rude, or treat the menu like a goddamn ingredient list. No, there is not a special on where you can get $20 worth of food for $10, no we won't be happy to make three substitutions and two omissions, and if you wanted the vegetarian entree at the catered wedding you should have put that down on the meal card three months ago, instead of suddenly seeing the error of your meat-eating ways when your actual vegetarian friend's pasta looked good.

Where do you get off, having opinions? You ought to be kowtowing to the paying customer, thanking them for their patronage, and respecting their superior knowledge of food and the menu at your restaurant, like the wage-slave you are!

I try to avoid substitutions/alterations of the dishes, but at breakfasts it's inevitable, because I always want to switch out my egg. Really I'd be happy to just have the egg taken off and pay the same but it seems silly not to ask if I can have something extra instead. I feel guilty every time though.

[warty goblin]

Where do you get off, having opinions? You ought to be kowtowing to the paying customer, thanking them for their patronage, and respecting their superior knowledge of food and the menu at your restaurant, like the wage-slave you are!

I try to avoid substitutions/alterations of the dishes, but at breakfasts it's inevitable, because I always want to switch out my egg. Really I'd be happy to just have the egg taken off and pay the same but it seems silly not to ask if I can have something extra instead. I feel guilty every time though.

That's not a bad sub at all, if you're asking for scrambled instead of fried or something like that. Eggs are getting scrambled anyway, so it's just a slightly weird ticket. It's the people who like to get creative that are bad, or who think they're just the biggest thing ever. Like the people who showed up once a week and insisted we stock an entirely different (and terrible) sort of French fry just for them.

[valadil]

I've never been a waiter. I was a cashier at a convenient store for the better part of a summer though.

Yes, I definitely judged the regulars. Yes, I definitely gossiped with the other staff about the regulars too. Why? That kind of work is boring. There's nothing else to do but count how much that one guy spent on scratch tickets each day. I'd be shocked if the staff didn't judge customers. I wouldn't lose sleep over their opinions either.

[Peelee]

No, no it is not worthy of judgement. I really dislike people who get on others cases who don't like their steaks with pink/red in it. I personally will literally gag if I see even a hint of pink in my steak, so it is always well-done. On the other hand, my wife just prefers well-done, and has tried medium-rare and found it to be not to her tastes. Judging people by how they like their food cooked is one of the most rude and idiotic things a person can do, besides of course judging them based on gender/race/sexuality/religion.

As you can tell, I am very opinionated on this subject, I get so sick and tired of chefs/waiters looking at me like I just grew a second or even a third damn head when I ask for my steak to be well-done. You have no right to do so, just do your freaking job and get me my food.

Well, some places will use their oldest steaks for well-done orders, since by cooking it that much, it's easier to hide that it may be going off. That may account for some of the looks.

Now, I always get my steak rare, but I don't judge how other people want it cooked. I'm not eating what you're ordering, what do I care how you like it?

[Lycan 01]

Professional waiter here!

(Okay, technically I'm a "Carhop" but it's still a waiter by most standards, albeit with extra abilities/responsibilities.)

Allow me to go down the list?

First things first - no, I don't judge my customers for their eating habits. Me and my coworkers all realize we have our culinary quirks. If a customer orders something "odd" we may go through the motions of saying "ew I couldn't eat that" but we won't make fun of the customer themselves. That's rude. There's a difference in finding a meal unappetizing, and finding a customer disgusting.

In fact, if a customer asks me for something odd, I may make a light-hearted joke along the lines of "That's not the weirdest thing I've heard today" or "Okay you've caught me off guard, bravo." Because the customer usually acknowledges that the order is odd, and I don't want them to feel odd or bothersome. In fact, I encourage customers to ask for odd things - an extra ingredient on their burger, some odd sauces on the side, specific instructions, etc. If you're going to be paying us for service, you deserve to get the food you want, how you want it. (Within reason.)

It goes beyond me, too. Our whole crew, management included, encourages customers to ask for what they want. Even if we have to spend a minute or so trying to find the buttons on the computer to ring it up properly.

My second day on the job, I heard the owner taking a customer's order, and she asked if she could add graham cracker to her milkshake. He responded, and I quote: "Ma'am, this is [establishment]. We can put graham cracker on anything you want. "

Now, as for your more specific inquiries...

People always told me they don't since they don't even remember your face; you are just one out of many, if you got to a waiter and say “I’ll have the usual” they will mostly likely say “Who the hell are you? Never saw your face before!”.

I pay attention to my customers, to the best of my abilities. I mean I see 100+ people a day, but if they have distinguishing features - makeup, hairstyles, facial hair, tattoos, mannerisms, etc - it's easier to remember them, and I especially remember customers who play along with my lame jokes or banter with me. Alternatively, if they're a jerk or leave me emotionally traumatized, yeaaaaah gonna be pretty easy to remember them.

So, no, the idea of "waiters won't remember you" isn't entirely true, depending on your interaction with the waiter.

But, every Thursday I always stop by the same restaurant, right before it opens for lunch, I ask the same meal and usually for the same waiter.

Every restaurant has its regulars. Me and my coworkers not only have our regular customers who order the same thing every day or visit, but we respect the fact that those customers and workers have a relationship. If my coworker has a "regular" they tend to every time that customer comes by, I'll let them go tend to that customer rather than try to tend to them myself. And likewise, I have regular customers that other workers will let me tend to out of courtesy.

So yeah, if you're getting the same waiter every time without asking for them, they're probably doing the reverse, and picking you.

Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

Now this is the tricky part. How do you usually interact with the waiter? Do y'all banter, exchange pleasantries, or otherwise get along? Do you tip them? Do they act courteous to you?

Because if y'all get along, then my guess would be that he probably just made a joke about being psychic and knowing what you're gonna order before you say it - a playful quip about the order itself, not you. Waitstaff do this all the time - we're joking about the order or our own expectations, not the customer themselves, because that's rude. Aaaaand risks getting you in trouble with management at a lot of establishments, because nobody wants to have a waiter/waitress who mocks the paying customers and damages the image of the establishment.

So yeah. Given the context you've given, I don't think they were making fun of you. The waiter was probably just goofing around with his coworkers about already knowing your order, not mocking you yourself. But if there's more to the story, by all means share, and I'll tell you whatever else I can.

Where do you get off, having opinions? You ought to be kowtowing to the paying customer, thanking them for their patronage, and respecting their superior knowledge of food and the menu at your restaurant, like the wage-slave you are!

I try to avoid substitutions/alterations of the dishes, but at breakfasts it's inevitable, because I always want to switch out my egg. Really I'd be happy to just have the egg taken off and pay the same but it seems silly not to ask if I can have something extra instead. I feel guilty every time though.

Actually, you're not a bother at all if you're asking to leave off an item or substitute it. Most places are computerized now with order taking, so there's usually an "add," "remove," or "substitute" button that can be pressed. I actually have customers, some of whom are "regulars" as I just described, who ask for their breakfast items without eggs or with their eggs done a certain way. I just have to hit 1-3 buttons, and they're set up. No trouble at all.

So yeah, unless the staff are just rude, you shouldn't have any trouble with asking for your eggs done a certain way, or not having egg on the item in general. Heck, you're saving the cook the trouble of having to cook an egg nobody is gonna eat.

[2D8HP]

There's been a few posts where folks have mentioned that most customers just aren't remembered.

I've been the opposite.

A few times when I've been the customer, I haven't recognized the waitress as someone from my social circle, until she said my name, and again, when she was the cashier at a bookstore. The same thing happened at another bookstore, and it was my ex-girlfriend!

[tomandtish]

Well, some places will use their oldest steaks for well-done orders, since by cooking it that much, it's easier to hide that it may be going off. That may account for some of the looks.

Now, I always get my steak rare, but I don't judge how other people want it cooked. I'm not eating what you're ordering, what do I care how you like it?

Having worked in the kitchen of a few places (admittedly a long time ago), I can confirm that cooks LOVE people who knowingly order well-done steaks for precisely this reason.

OTOH, we always hated people who ordered them, complained that the steak didn't live up to the hype that other people had given theirs, and would send it back. Given that one of the places was a Ruth Chris steakhouse, we actually had a little blurb in the menu that the optimal prep for our steaks was medium rare.

[Faily]

I work in the service industry and know several people who do too.

Yes, some people are remembered, but the majority of customers throughout the day are not. It's either people with very memorable looks (like fancy and very visible tattoos, unusual hair or makeup), or those who are either super-nice and/or polite or left a very negative impression. I've learned that those who leave a negative impression is remembered more easily than those who leave a positive one, sadly... but those who leave a very positive impression just brightens your otherwise tiresome workday. Regulars after a certain amount of time will be remembered, especially if your regular visits coincides with the staff's workshifts, so even if you're just there once a week, it could be that this particular staff might actually just work a couple of days a week (because of studies, or this is just some extra part-time work?).


Did they talk/laugh about you? Yes, no, maybe? Sounds like from your description that they were having a conversation as you entered, and then they finished it off (on a humorous note), then got back to work. Will they ever talk about you? Yes, probably. Just like how other workers in other places will talk about parts of their workday, so do service staff talk about theirs... which does include customers.

[Scarlet Knight]

It's been years since I've waited tables, but I remember some things.

Wait staff are human and judge customers just as patrons judge us.

Better waiters don't show their judgements. Lesser ones will. This may be adjusted to the formality of the restaurant. Diners have seperate rules.

A good waiter will/should judge an order for the good of the patron: "Let me make sure I have that correct, sir. You wanted the flounder with BBQ sauce on the side?"

How helpful or rude the question often depends just on the voice inflection and that is not always easy to teach or keep under control. We can't all be Alfred Pennyworth.

[BWR]

We can't all be Alfred Pennyworth.

Alfred can toss sarcasm about with the best (Jeeves). They are both outdone by Edmund Blackadder Esq. in this arena, however.
(I totally want an ERB with those three battling about who's the best butler and who has the silliest master)

[Aedilred]

Alfred can toss sarcasm about with the best (Jeeves). They are both outdone by Edmund Blackadder Esq. in this arena, however.
(I totally want an ERB with those three battling about who's the best butler and who has the silliest master)

Blackadder has the advantage that his master is a complete moron, so he can insult him pretty much openly and the Prince won't pick up on it.

Prince: This fellow last night said I had the wit and sophistication of a donkey!
EB: An absurd suggestion, sir, unless of course it was a particularly stupid donkey.
Prince: You see, if only I'd thought to say that!

Wooster is more mentally lazy than stupid, so he's usually able to tell when Jeeves is needling him, and Jeeves only really gets away with being properly sarcastic when Bertie isn't paying attention, usually when effectively monologuing and not expecting anything more from Jeeves than acknowledgement. In fact he tends to have a pretty good idea of Jeeves's opinions and tends not to challenge them because it's easier (again: lazy), unless it's really important (like plus-eights or alpine hats) or feels like winding Jeeves up to make a point (moustaches, on occasion). I noticed it's also rather more of a feature of the show than the books (not that the show itself isn't great).