Making FE Fates look like Shakesphere; Let's Play Fire Emblem Heroes (Yes, really)

[Zeus Killer]

Author's Notes: This is a fan based parody. Fire Emblem is owned by Intelligence Systems and Nintendo. Please support the official release.

Spoiler: Preface (warning: Large images)

Show

Long ago, in a distant land, there were two countries: a kingdom who respected a code of honor, and an empire that would do anything to gain power, consequences be damned.

This...is not their story.



This is the story of the Order of Heroes, a group dedicated to protecting Heroes from various potential abuse by anyone.

Formed by a group of royals who felt sympathetic to the Einjhar of past heroes, especially after Incident R89 (which resulted in at least 3.5 million deaths and countless totals in lost revenue), their main claim to power for those Einjhar was that they themselves supposedly knew about the history of the warriors.

Unfortunately, their historians have grossly underestimated their knowledge of the various legends surrounding the Heroes, and the heroes and the various Einjhar simply ignored the dimension as an oddity similar to that of the Invisible Kingdom.



Eventually, a legend foretold about a Legendary Summoner who would be able to summon Heroes by his will alone...and he (or she) who wielded the power of the Summoner, would change the fate of the Realm as we know it.



But with the rise of a legend, there will always be someone who would take advantage of the situation to gain power. Princess Apprentice Veronica, of the Emblanian Empire, sought this power for her own unknowable plans for the Kingdom of Askr...



Veronica:...he is here. Whoever brings him to me will be rewarded handsomely.

If you're wondering why this game...I did it just because. But seriously, I do know where I'm going for this. Trust me, you'll like where I'm going with this.

[Illven]

Oh. Haven't been able to play fe heroes. Best of luck.

[Zeus Killer]

The one reply

Spoiler: Replies

Show

Oh. Haven't been able to play fe heroes. Best of luck.

Thanks (resisting the urge to go full fan boy on you)

Here we go

Spoiler: Prologue

Show

???:...and that's it?

???:Sure. I don't want that much to change, I don't want the Alternate to be too powerful.

???:...You do realize that I have to compensate for your magic anyways?

???: Don't care.

???: Fine, just put your name here, and we'll be able to put in you by Chapter 29, 32 at the latest.



???: Hey, wake up sleepyhead!

Zach: Ugggh...



Zach: (Uh, what the hell was in that Root Beer?)



Zach: I think you done goofed.

???: Uh...you might have a point. Anyways...



Zach: (remind me to kill that SOB if I get the chance)



Zach:...is that a gun?

Anna: What's a gun? :)

Zach:...never mind. Mind if I borrow it?

Anna: Sure. What are yo-


































Virion: Wait, who are you people?

Anna: Anna

Zach: Aren't you self-absorbed?

Anna:...do you know what this means?

Zach: How should I know what this means? I just got here?



Zach: I feel like you guys should be dead by now.

Anna: It's all thanks to my lovely protégé that we've even lasted this long....where is she?

Zach: I'm sorry, you're the only one I saw when I woke up.

Anna: Oh crud, he's gonna kill me.

Zach: Who?



Anna: I'm fine!

Alphonse: Wait, who's this with you?

Zach: That depends on who you are Chrome.

Alphonse:...



Zach: Sarcasm is unbecoming of you.

Alphonse: Look, I'm just trying to stop my sister from doing something rash.

Zach: Like running away?

Alphonse: She got...very upset during a recent tournament. She said something about "Testing against some of the best warriors of Mystery." I don't want her to get hurt.

Zach:...riiiiiight. Look, I'm sure that your sister is probably going to piss someone off, but I've got to get home now. So if anyone is willing to show the portal to Florida, then I'll be on my way.

Anna:...

Alphonse:...



Zach: What?

Alphonse: Sorry, I don't recognize the name.

Zach:...let's just get your sister.

Anna: Okay, the portal should be...



Alphonse: Don't run out on us, you made the Castle Staff get a panic attack.

Sharena: Can I at least get decent training partners?

Alphonse:...who'd you anger THIS time?



Zach: Wait....is that supposed to be Min-



Zach:...We're ****ED!

Minerva: You, keep you're tongue in line! Sharena, we accept your challenge!

Alphonse:...is there any way we can back out here?



Zach: You go ahead with that. I'm gonna get some popcorn...you do have that, right?

Anna: Behind the water cooler, first hall on the right.

Zach: Thanks...um, who's the loli?

Anna: Loli?

Zach: Her.



Zach:...Anna?

Anna: Minerva, can we hold the fighting? We've got an invasion.

Minerva:...fine. We need to figure out how to suppress the Rebellion anyways.

Anna: Okay, now that that's settled...





Zach:...um, que?



Zach: Wait, what?



Alphonse:...*sigh*



Veronica: Oh dear, you broke my toys.

Alphonse: Get back to your evil empire, and take your Great Butler with you!

Zach: Looks more like a Palidan...

Alphonse: ?

Zach: Nothing!

Anna: Alphonse...



Sharena: Zach, are you okay?

Zach:...I'll be fine. I just need to...take in the sights...

Gameplay to come in the next update.

[Illven]

So a summoner, just summoned a better summoner?

Infinite loop time!

[Zeus Killer]

So a summoner, just summoned a better summoner?

Infinite loop time!

Anna's more of a General figure here than a summoner, but if the bill fits...

Incidentally, next update's gonna have a summon session, so let the (potential cash grab) infinite looping begin.

[Zeus Killer]

...is anyone still here?

[Illven]

I'm still reading when you put the next update up.

[Starbuck_II]

I am unsure what is going on, but please continue. I like it so far.

[Zeus Killer]

I am unsure what is going on, but please continue. I like it so far.

Thanks. Don't worry, I'm planning the next update. I'll try to get some time on Wednesday hopefully to put it up.

I'm still reading when you put the next update up.

That's very kind of you sir. Thank you for giving me a chance.

[Zeus Killer]

Spoiler: The First Horseman

Show

In the Castle of Askr, hope had been raised since the Summoner was finally summoned by Commander Anna, and routed the Emblian Empire with the help of Prince Alphonse and Princess and Shareena. And for a few days, morale was high. Unfortunately, the Summoner was too busy suffering a breakdown to join in on the ceremonies, and the castle couldn't figure out why.

Thankfully, the castle had someone on hand to deal with people who may or may not have been suffering depression. Unfortunately, Raigh was too busy attending Shareena's Tea Party, but at least Matthew was available.

"What the hell do you want Matthew?"

"Look, I know you might be down under, but can you at least muster enough effort to come up today?"

"...fine."

As the duo walked towards the summoning circle, Matthew asked "How did you know my name?"

"Oh, that? I...heard of you somewhere?"

"...ok, you know how to work the Relic with the extremely long name, correct?"

"I think I know how. Just point out a target, ok?"

As Zach pointed the relic at the one big rock, he took aim, and then fired. There was a beam of light that shot through the rock, and from this...a certain arrogant ninja came up. And a Wyvern Rider who can communicate with the reincarnation of the Scarlet Princess.

And Eliwood.

Matthew stared back at Zach, wondering what would be the result of this...

Later







Zach: Okay, let me say this only once: Shareena takes on Sword Users, Anna takes Lance Users, and Alphonse might a good meathead for Hector. Any questions?

Celicia: Wouldn't this spread out our forces?

Zach: Not if we only send out one of the squads at a time. Now rest...and would someone tell me where the library is?

Anna: Down the hall, second door on the right.

While not much, It'll hopefully tide you guys over until Monday.

Spoiler: Next Update Sneak Peak

Show

[Illven]

So you can only bring the four people with checkmarks?

[Zeus Killer]

Spoiler: Replies

Show

]

So you can only bring the four people with checkmarks?

Unfortunately, you can only bring four people in at a time. While certainly unique, this doesn't prevent the AI from fielding up to six people at once. It gets a bit more tedious in the late game.

And now, a word from our experienced tactician...

Spoiler: The capabilities of the solders

Show

Dear Askr,

While I admit that I'm not used to the idea of being in a world that floats in the sky, nor the idea of our world being only one of hundreds, I can safely assure you that I am willing to do my best to accommodate for your war preparations. In here, are the assessments of all the..."summoned" heroes that your Sorcerer (is he that? He looks like he should be in the 3rd tier already) managed to find.



This Saizo character is like a traditional assassin: silent, but deadly. His experience speaks volumes as to his readiness even off the battlefield. However, from what I've been told by Commander Anna (I swear to Elmine that she looks familiar), in their wars, he can only do indirect attacks. While he is a formidable opponent on the battlefield on his own, I'd recommend getting him poison daggers so as to make his effectiveness even more deadly to our enemies.



Caeda claims to be a princess of Talys...or however you actually spell that. While I've never heard of this realm before, I can already tell that she's one of the more prepared subjects in this army. Her training with Pegasi ensures that she is a fast and mobile solder on the battlefield, whilst her armor slayer can pierce even the toughest of Knights. The only weakness so far is her weakness to bows. I should stress this: AVOID BOWS AT ALL COSTS WHEN CONTROLLING THIS UNIT.



Gunter, like Saizo, is a truly remarkable specimen. Both share aspects in common, such as being bodyguards for their respective lieges. Heck, they both come from the same world, albeit on different sides. From what I can see from Gunter, this "Nohr" seems like a powerful military empire. If I had to guess, I'd say that he's the most powerful person in the army right now, bar none. His powerful weapon, combined with his training as a...great butler(?), allow him to move through the battlefield with the speed akin to Death's Angel. Gods help the poor souls who get in his way.

From what I could gather from them both, it seems that Hoshido is a land of plentiful land, food, and peace whilst Nohr has none of those things. My personal opinion on the matter: I don't know enough about either land as of yet to even come close to deciding which side I'd hypothetically support in this war.



Cherche, like Caeda, come from lands that I have no knowledge about. However, Cherche isn't a princess, but rather a servant of a Lord Virion (who I've had the disdainful 'pleasure' of meeting the other day). While she lacks the utility of Caeda, she isn't to be totally ignored, as she has had more wartime experience against this "Walhart" character than any of the Askr's against the Emblian Empire.



I admit, of all the people I expected to be here, Lord Eliwood was not one of them. However, he seems to be like when I last saw him: in a state of illness. He is useful...but he wasn't as good as he used to be. A shame, considering he was the best knight in all of Lycia. Try not to hurt him, he is a good person.

As to the positioning of the solders around, I admit that while I understand Zach's reasoning for doing so, I can't help but feel that this will one day come back to haunt us in some way...

But I guess that's the worries of a woman who's spent years in Etruia's court as the Mage General. What can I say, it's part of the job.

Sincerely, Lady Celicia Verde, Mage General of Etruia, Tactical advisor of the Kingdom of Askr.

[Illven]

What's with all the stars!