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2017-04-17, 02:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Sharangar's Revenge
- Gender
Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
This is now the eleventh episode of this illustrious thread series on exactly how best to make your DM cry. As usual, we are always willing to lend a kind ear to your frustrations on things that have been banned, vetoed or just plain killed off at your table. Previous threads are listed below:
1: [Any] Things I may no longer do while playing.
2: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing II: Stop Making The DM Cry
3: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
4: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas
5: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing V: Pun & Pun, Rules-Attorneys at Law
6: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VI: This Isn't A Checklist We Swear!
7: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing VII: No, Not Even Then
8: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing VIII: Why is the PLOT on fire?
9: Things I May No Longer Do while Playing IX: GNO GNOMES!
10: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing X: Bard is not a valid choice
Note: if you're going to use numbers, please keep the numbering in order. This means:
1) don't add sub-rules to previous numbers--people will think that number is the current one
2) look to make sure that the last post isn't a sub-rule to a previous number
Asterisks are highly recommended, though.
Suggestions for a better thread title will be considered and possibly implemented.Last edited by Lord Torath; 2017-04-17 at 02:07 PM.
Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season
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2017-04-17, 02:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2015
- Location
- Canada
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
I think the highest voted name was 'a kick in the tiefling.'
*May not say 'first!' for any reason.
*The fungus hive-mind cannot have the personality of an 8 year-old.
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2017-04-17, 02:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
While 'a kick in the Tiefling' was winning, I actually like the current thread title.
* May not postpone making a new thread because I made the last one for Baator's sake.
* The robot should not be the most emotional, illogical party member.
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2017-04-17, 02:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*"An Army of adorable serial killers to love back to sanity" is not a valid super power.
**Especially for a good guy.
***It barely qualifies as a goal.I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2017-04-17, 04:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*If my bard can effectively replace most of the rest of the party in Storm King's Thunder in Adventurers' League, must bring a lower-level character.
**It hurts the Ranger's feelings to get out-shot by the ditzy half-elf in the ridiculous hat.
***May not abuse the fact that we have an airship and I have a longbow and the Sharpshooter feat to nickel-and-dime giants to death from out of boulder-throwing range without letting the melee PCs engage the enemy.
*Even if I'm playing a Glitterboy pilot and it's pretty much all they do, the Boom Gun (yes, that's really what they're called) is not the solution to every problem.
**Even if it's worked so far.
***Cannot abuse the AoE damage from the muzzle blast to stack extra damage onto boss-level enemies.
****Cannot abuse the fact that it takes so long to stat up a Glitterboy that the GM won't throw one at the party.
*****When forced to do something that doesn't involve just shooting something with the Boom Gun, may not hack enemy communications to blast Richard Hell and the Voidoids' "Blank Generation" at max volume while I set theplotbuilding on fire.
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2017-04-17, 04:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2017-04-17, 05:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2017
- Location
- England
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*Fire immunity is not an excuse to burn everything and everyone party members included
**You may not marry a bear, no matter its gender or what the rest of the party says
***In a party of 8, "1 cleric will not save you all"
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2017-04-18, 11:24 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2014
- Location
- Los Angeles
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*May not have super senses for magic, minds, and technology, because then the GM can't think of anything to surprise me with
**May not have 2 of the above, being stuck in a campaign with only 1 of those available is less fun
***May use 1 of the above, then commit suicide so i can have the one most pertinent to the campaignThe first rule of gaming, before you have even chosen the game is and always should be
HAVE FUN
(FUN being defined as it is in dwarf fortress)
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2017-04-18, 03:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2011
- Location
- Below sea level
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*Whenever I find myself utter the words "Aww, you're no fun!" to my DM, the DM has rightly restricted me.
Warlock Poetry?
Or ways to use me in game?
Better grab a drink...
Currently ruining Strahd's day - Avatar by the Outstanding Smuchsmuch
First Ordained Jr. Tormlet by LoyalPaladin
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2017-04-18, 03:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*gratuitous nudity should not be encouraged.
**especially out of character.
***stealing all the clothes in a bathhouse just to start a riot is both mean and useless.
****even if i had a dm that did it once to the party.
*****when we ask for a ransom, we can't ask for 700,000 pairs of pants just to further humiliate the victim's family. it would cause a market crash.
****** dude, you're already allowed electromagnetic implosions in bank vaults. what's with you and destroying pants and the economy, anyway?!
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2017-04-18, 06:32 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2015
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*If the party is stuck in an illusion and I know about it, I should at least attempt to help
**Doubly so if I have the skills, spells, and abilities to get them out.
***Triply so if I am told by my mage friend what is going on
****I should not spend the time they are dying in the illusion to make pancakes and scribe spells
*****When the party members have just experienced being slowly devoured by thousands of weasels, my first words should not be "Pancakes? I've got syrup!"
******When the Druid has been besieged by now millions of weasels for hours, I should not cause him to associate delicious pancakes with death by weasel devouringOriginally Posted by krugaan
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2017-04-18, 10:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2016
- Location
- Between Bipolar cycles...
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
As the GM:
* No longer allowed to ask a character "Have your read all your class features?" only to use their class featuresthe way they are written"against them" again.
* Giggling at a Will save modifer of +2 on a character makes my players nervous. Especially when they are 10th level.
* Sniping the Frenzied Berserker was hilarious the first time.
* The trapped room that locks the doors behind you and fills the room with Acid Fog was hilarious to me. The party found it less so when the Frenzied Berserker failed his Will Save.
* Just once, the Frenzied Berserker is to be allowed to initiate his own Frenzy.
* The Confusion Spell is banned. My players optimize so heavily that its more dangerous for them to hit each other than half the monsters in the book.
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2017-04-18, 11:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*There is nowhere in Faerûn that sells enough alchemist's fire to pack the party's airship full of barrels of the stuff in order to kamikaze it into an enemy lair, nor would I have enough money to buy enough if there were.
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2017-04-19, 06:32 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2013
- Gender
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2017-04-19, 07:06 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* The Martian Princess must wear something.
** Weaponry no longer counts as clothing.
*** 'Traditional Barsoomian garments' may no longer be accurate to the books.
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2017-04-19, 07:07 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
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2017-04-19, 07:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* Whatever my plan is it costs one copper more than what the party has.
* May no longer research the following spells: find plot (game), find plot (scheme), foil plot, derail plot, or serialise.
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2017-04-19, 04:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
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2017-04-19, 05:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Oh, do elaborate
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2017-04-19, 05:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
we accidentally deduced a plot point a couple sessions before the dm planned on setting it up. ok, fair enough. he'd left clues and we were bordering on paranoid by that point. once we actually hit the plot reveal, we proceeded to chain our reasoning into deducing long-term effects for the game-world, while deducing how the hell that revelation came to happen. something the dm had clearly NOT thought of. the ramifications hit him so hard he asked us to take a smoke break (the dm is the only non-smoker). after the smoke break, he'd gotten over getting blindsided by the plot, and we'd had more time to think about all the loose ends that were left over from the last campaign 100 years before and how they'd been tied up or survived into our then current campaign. by that point, we all got hit pretty hard by the plot. we brained the dm while braining the game while the game brained us braining the dm, if you will. as an aside...
*no braining the dm.
** no braining physically the dm.
***ESPECIALLY in the litteral sense!
****if the braining has an area of effect to the players included, you're allowed to feel like an idiot genius.
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2017-04-19, 06:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* There is no such thing as an 'anti-plot'.
** Must stop looking for ways to annihilate the plot.
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2017-04-19, 07:40 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2016
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* If the DM informs the players that the ruins we're currently in aren't really important, may not spend an hour scaling the local architecture looking for clues.
** Doubly so if one of the PC's falls and is seriously injured, requiring an extra day's stay to patch them up.
* Gnomes do not always wear pointy hats and blue vests, no matter what the players claim.
** Nor are they sacred guardians of lawns everywhere.
*** Do lawns even exist in medieval settings?
**** Should gnomes not exist in a given campaign setting, the explanation cannot be that they were all genocided centuries ago by a celestial lawnmower.
***** For the last time, GNO GNOMES!My Homebrew
Healer: Pathfinder remake of the 3.5 class of the same name. Light, restoration, and more positive energy effects than you can shake a cleric at.
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2017-04-19, 07:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- In my library
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* May not blow up the lawn.
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2017-04-19, 08:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
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2017-04-19, 09:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2013
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*may not laugh at the dm when it takes him 3 game sessions to get the party back on task.
**bad form shortly after to immediately derail the plot then turn left.
***not allowed to use diplomacy anymore.
****especially with orcs.
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2017-04-20, 07:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
- Location
- Sharangar's Revenge
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Warhammer 40,000 Campaign Skirmish Game: Warpstrike
My Spelljammer stuff (including an orbit tracker), 2E AD&D spreadsheet, and Vault of the Drow maps are available in my Dropbox. Feel free to use or not use it as you see fit!
Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season
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2017-04-20, 09:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*I may not corrupt the innocent, even if they're only innocent by reason of mental disease of defect.
I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2017-04-21, 08:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2013
- Location
- Red Dragon Territory
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2017-04-22, 12:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2015
- Location
- Canada
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* May not make an artificer based on Red Green.
Ascendancy [Mythopoeia, Only Ruins, 1900, the Far West (MythWeavers, Rules, and Setting), and Discord]
New Avatar by Smutmulch, Previous Avatar by Cuthalion
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2017-04-22, 05:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
- Location
- Within the sunbelt states
- Gender
Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* May no longer make a lawful pixie no matter how good my back story is. 3.5 monk is not acceptable for any race with high dex and wisdom bonuses and greater invisibility at will. :(
"The drive to massacre and annihilate, the compulsion to destroy your opponent...
Such wrath is power for the soul! By eliminating your foe, you attain your first sublimation of that drive.
It is this very sublimation that draws out the hidden powers within oneself! But, clinging to reason.. suppressing your wrath and desire, makes releasing your true power a dream within a dream for you."
- Grahf