Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[JAL_1138]

* No, you may not play gnomes.
** Yes, you may play the mechanically identical Nac Mac Feegles.
*** No this isn't Discworld. I just realized that I'd turned gnome culture into the Wee Free Men.
**** My players are not allowed to not know what a Nac Mac Feegle IS.

* If my players figure out the deal with the endboss and manage to rig my own traps against it preemptively and successfully, I will not complain about how they ruined my cool encounter and let them butcher a solo monster while taking no damage. They earned it.
** In the future, I should provide less hints about the nature of foes.
*** Regardless of increased hit points and armor class, a sheep is not the best endboss anyway.

*...may not steal this for a campaign idea.
**May not try to convince all the players to speak in an incomprehensibly-thick Glaswegian brogue.
***May not devise a player race and/or class consisting of a swarm of Feegles.
****Even if it would make for an absurdly-good Fighter or Barbarian variant.
*****The campaign plot must me more than "drinkin', fightin', an' snaflin' coobeastie! Nac Mac Feegle wha hae!"

[noob]

*...may not steal this for a campaign idea.
**May not try to convince all the players to speak in an incomprehensibly-thick Glaswegian brogue.
***May not devise a player race and/or class consisting of a swarm of Feegles.
****Even if it would make for an absurdly-good Fighter or Barbarian variant.
*****The campaign plot must me more than "drinkin', fightin', an' snaflin' coobeastie! Nac Mac Feegle wha hae!"

******No I do not get bonuses at punching eldritch horrors no matter what I play.

[TeChameleon]

******No I do not get bonuses at punching eldritch horrors no matter what I play.

******* Of course not! Any true Feegle will headbutt the eldritch horrors.

[goto124]

* There is no goddess of headbutting.

[danielxcutter]

* There is no goddess of headbutting.

**My ToB characters do not have Battle Auras.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I will not link to TVTropes without providing a warning.

[danielxcutter]

* I will not link to TVTropes without providing a warning.

**Pointing out all the tropes in my game is frowned upon.
***As well as not pointing them out, while using them to figure out all the plot twists beforehand.

[JAL_1138]

* I will not link to TVTropes without providing a warning.

**May not attempt to assassinate a decker by linking them to TVTropes while they're jacked in and waiting for them to die of thirst.

[Catalessi]

*May not achieve omniscience downloading the entire Tvtropes in my brain

[Belac93]

*May not achieve omniscience downloading the entire Tvtropes in my brain

**Just because wikipedia only takes up 12 gigabytes, and my brain has room for 50 terabytes, does not mean I am allowed to memorize it.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Even if it's legal I cannot play a spellcaster without the necessary talents.
** At no point should I legally be summoning demons into host bodies.

[John Campbell]

* If I've brought two possible 'mech designs to a free-for-all, and I describe them as "regular" and "extra troll-y", I am not allowed to use "extra troll-y", even if I asked the other players which I should use and they all said "extra troll-y".
** Anything that I say, "Check this out, it's ridiculous," about, I should assume I'm not allowed to use.
*** I am not allowed to use 'mechs I designed with Experimental technology, even if everyone else is.
**** I am not allowed to use 'mechs I designed with Advanced technology, even if everyone else is using Experimental.
***** I am just not allowed to use 'mechs I designed.
****** I am not allowed to use anything else that I designed, either.
******* I am not allowed to use C³.
******** I am not allowed to use unarmed helicopters.
********* Or armed ones!
********** I am not allowed to use LRM indirect fire.
*********** I am not allowed to use hovertanks.
************ I am not allowed to use Inferno SRMs.
************* When I take out a custom XL-powered assault 'mech with half its BV and a tenth its cost in internal-combustion tanks, I am not allowed to gloat.

[JAL_1138]

* Even if it's legal I cannot play a spellcaster without the necessary talents.

**May not be fluent in a staggering number of languages.
***May not be an Olympic-level runner.
****May not have a large, animated, sentient, incredibly violent travelers' trunk as a familiar.
*****May not take weapon proficiency in "halfbrick-inna-sock."
******May not build the character to have an absurd degree of uncanny luck.
*******May not wear a hat that says "WIZZARD" (sic).

[Lord Raziere]

* My first words to my worshipers as a god of deception may not be "I am the god of truth, and I created everything."
** May not demand my worshipers to kill all the other religions for worshiping demons, when in reality those religions are just my fellow gods in my pantheon
*** May not justify potentially accidentally starting a religious crusade against my fellow gods with "I was just testing them to see if they were smart enough to see through my lies, any god would do the same."
**** May not name the first mortal who successfully sees through and calls me out on my lies my high priest.
***** May not take ideas from Tzeentch, Cegorach, Sheogorath, The Deceiver or the Ebon Dragon
****** My religious text may not be titled "The Book of Truth." and filled with lies about everything. Higher positions of power may not consist of people smart enough to realize the latter fact.

[goto124]

****** My religious text may not be titled "The Book of Truth." and filled with lies about everything. Higher positions of power may not consist of people smart enough to realize the latter fact.

******* May not use the Book of Truth to filter out any players who believe the lies in the Book.
******** Especially if the Book includes the statement "Pineapple is good on pizza".

[danielxcutter]

*No, you may not use Gate to summon monsters with templates.

Spoiler: Context

Show

In 3.5, Gate summons monsters with a HD total up to twice your caster level. The thing is, most templates don't add HD, making them far more powerful.

[Samzat]

*flesh to plutonium is not a real spell
**nor is summon plutonium elemental
***all radioactive elementals are not allowed
****poisonous gas elementals are not allowed either
*****radon elementals are therefore right out!

[DeTess]

*I may not use illusions to make the druid's pet Rhino look like a unicorn.
**Not even to avoid getting found out and arrested by the corrupt lord's guards.
***I should not then use more illusions to turn the rhino into a mysterious shape-shifting beast to convince said guard he should not try to obtain it for the lord's personal zoo.
****"Suggestion" is not a spell of last resort in this situation!

[danielxcutter]

*I may not use illusions to make the druid's pet Rhino look like a unicorn.
**Not even to avoid getting found out and arrested by the corrupt lord's guards.
***I should not then use more illusions to turn the rhino into a mysterious shape-shifting beast to convince said guard he should not try to obtain it for the lord's personal zoo.
****"Suggestion" is not a spell of last resort in this situation!

Funny, I'm pretty sure that unicorns actually were inspired by the (extraordinarily vague) descriptions of rhinos!

[Christopher K.]

*Even if the rules allow it, no longer allowed to put all possible character points into a speed stat.

[Rater202]

*The Wish-Granting Deity with a Green Lantern Ring can not be the most balanced member of the party.

[Fable Wright]

* Bringing burned out magical crack addicts to a gunfight is no longer allowed.
** May no longer bring prostitutes to gunfights to toss magical crack to my enemy.
*** Even if planting some on them really motivates my allies.
**** Making drugged out enemies explode into many-legged eldritch abominations once per turn is no longer acceptable.
***** May no longer play magical drug dealers or card sharks.

* My battle strategy must involve more than 'bring a bunch of puppets'.
** Having the puppets dig grave after grave during the fight is a valid intimidation tactic, but probably a waste of time.
*** No longer allowed to steal other people's puppets and use them better than their owners ever could.
**** If my entire build is built around buffing my puppets, I am not allowed to surprise my enemy by murdering them in direct combat.
***** If I can wipe out the entire enemy force by turn 3, that character is now banned.

[JAL_1138]

*There is a difference between the brig and the airlock and I should learn it.
**Even if the last two adventures involving prisoners could've been solved by immediately spacing them.
***It is not an "ancient Prothean custom," and even if it was, a) I'm not a Prothean and b) we're not playing Mass Effect and they don't exist in this setting.

[druid91]

* I may not challenge the ancient evil god to a no holds barred throw down.

** I may not win this throw down via application of historical trivia about nuclear science and engineering.

[JAL_1138]

*I don't get XP for the kobolds or the wyrmling if, rather than engage in combat, I bamboozle them into killing each other so I don't have to fight either at full strength, and simply mop up whatever's left alive afterwards.

[danielxcutter]

*I don't get XP for the kobolds or the wyrmling if, rather than engage in combat, I bamboozle them into killing each other so I don't have to fight either at full strength, and simply mop up whatever's left alive afterwards.

Technically you should, actually.

[JAL_1138]

Technically you should, actually.

Yes, according to the DMG and general wisdom on what counts as "defeating" a challenge. Not according to the DM who was peeved at having to run the combat solo while the party stood back and watched with popcorn.

[Belac93]

Yes, according to the DMG and general wisdom on what counts as "defeating" a challenge. Not according to the DM who was peeved at having to run the combat solo while the party stood back and watched with popcorn.

Quick tip for and DMs that find themselves in a situation like this: Get the PCs to run PVP combat as the monsters. You can always step in if they're playing them stupid, but it's funny to watch them fight. Then you get to sit back with popcorn!

*Just because I'm bored over the weekend is not an excuse to design a fully-fledged rpg from scratch.
**We're sick of this. We want to stick with a game.
***The solution to this is not making characters super fragile so that I can say 'well, that was a TPK! Hey, wanna try something different?'

*Yes, the ability says 'you step out of any reflective surface you have seen before.' No, people's eyes do not count as reflective surfaces.
**'Teleport out of any shadow within 60 feet' does not include the shadows inside someone's nose.
***The above applies to any orifice on the human body.

[Anonymouswizard]

Yes, according to the DMG and general wisdom on what counts as "defeating" a challenge. Not according to the DM who was peeved at having to run the combat solo while the party stood back and watched with popcorn.

I'm surprised that the GM didn't hit on the old 'roll a few dice hidden from view, and reduce the encounter to one the PCs can easily mop up because they deserve it) trick.

Heck, I wish I had players with some response other than kill stuff. But no, set up a situation where if they did anything other than rush blindly in they'd win hands down, and they come out with half hp and no spell points left to heal.

Then I once brought a merchant to a combat game one time because I'd been planning solutions like this, didn't realise my build was wrong until the only thing I'd rolled my primary skills for was for my downtime stuff (and, because I was a merchant, I didn't have enough free time to train actually useful skills, too busy flogging merchandise).

On that note:
* Cannot assume the PCs will have at least one social skill between them.
** Cannot assume the PCs will use the environment to win battles.
*** The enemies cannot use social skills or the environment either.
**** Two gnomes running around the church roof taking potshots with pepperbox pistols while a couple of orcs on the ground use sabres and revolvers to keep the party's attention is not a balanced encounter.
***** Enemies cannot use ranged weapons.

[Lord Raziere]

* May not be the "Good non-edgy vampire" in Vampire The Masquerade or Vampire the Requiem
** This may not take the form of a vampire girl who sees humans as cute pets and thus acts like vampire Fluttershy.
*** May not buy a leash to "walk my pet hummies."