Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[goto124]

**** Elf meat sandwich with capers, onions, fresh egg, and Worcestershire sauce is not the delicacy of my next homebrewed nation.
***** Swapping out fresh egg for cooked egg does not improve anything.
****** I'm not even homebrewing anything!

[Anonymouswizard]

* Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: Stop Eating the Elf is not a suitable thread name.

[JAL_1138]

In response to everyone's questions about the Thri-Kreen's shopping list, those are ingredients in a lot of recipes for steak tartare.

Edit: Probably should have a bit of dijon mustard and black pepper in there too; those seem to be frequent additions.

[DigoDragon]

* Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: Stop Eating the Elf is not a suitable thread name.

Whoops.


* I may no longer call dibs by the axiom, 'I licked it, therefore it's mine.'
** I'm also banned from licking magic rings, artifacts, adamantine doors, and other party members.

[JAL_1138]

Whoops.


* I may no longer call dibs by the axiom, 'I licked it, therefore it's mine.'
** I'm also banned from licking magic rings, artifacts, adamantine doors, and other party members.

...I was in a game once where it had been established (initially as a joke) that goblins used that method of determining ownership. That led to a Dragonborn Fighter becoming the new chief of a goblin tribe by grappling and licking goblins instead of attacking them. It became a pure comedy game after/because of that.

[ideasmith]

* Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: Stop Eating the Elf is not a suitable thread name.

** Nor is Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: Don't Eat the Troll.

[Rater202]

*I can not eat one of every race and monster to gain their powers.
**Especially not if I prepare them in gourmet fashion first.
***Especially not if it works.

[danielxcutter]

*I can not eat one of every race and monster to gain their powers.
**Especially not if I prepare them in gourmet fashion first.
***Especially not if it works.

****No, you cannot make a character based on Kirby.

[Katrina]

***** Enemies cannot use ranged weapons.

* [D&D 3.5] not even when the party includes a Frenzied Berserker* with a total Will Save modifier of +2.
* Not allowed to stock my dungeon with Confusion, Death Urge (Complete Psionics?), and similar effects because "The most dangerous thing to your safety is yourself." was written on the outside.

* I am discouraged from playing any character in a Super Hero Campaign whose introduction sounds more like the Big Bad.
* My Husband liked the twisted version of the Venom Symbiote as a parasite I built him. The Reactive Mental attack triggered by someone initiating mental contact with the parasite was especially well received. By both him and the party Telepath...
* I have been informed that the proper way to treat a critical with Mental Damage is not "I put Neosporin in his ears." Despite how funny it was.
* If the GM reads my backstory and remarks "Well, this makes my villain look like a common bank robber. You're the new major threat to the world." I may have taken my Child of Darkness archetype a bit far.

Spoiler: context

Show

Frenzied Berserker is a decidedly overpowered Prestige that grants a power similar to Barbarian Rage but makes you attack your friends if there are no enemies left. It also makes you automatically fly into this killer Frenzy any time you take damage and cannot succeed on a Will Save DC: 10+Damage Taken.
I believe you might be able to make a DC 20 Will Save to try and shake the Frenzy off, but with only a +2, that doesn't work often.

That player hated me, because he never got to trigger Frenzy on his own. He kept taking minor damage from something and flying off the handle. Archers, minor traps (which was fun for his comrades), and spells.

[Socksy]

*I can not eat one of every race and monster to gain their powers.
**Especially not if I prepare them in gourmet fashion first.
***Especially not if it works.

**** No! Bad! No Illithid Savant for PCs!

[JAL_1138]

*If a fellow player has made a mechanically terrible character in 5e (somehow...I don't know what the thought process was), may not point this out, lest I spur half an hour of "I'm not a powergamer" defensiveness.
**May not point out that that there's a difference between powergaming and basic competence.
***Even if I'm polite about it.

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not eat the Thri-Kreen.

[DigoDragon]

** Nor is Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: Don't Eat the Troll.

Dang, I just can't catch a break.


* The monk is not allowed to ascend to godhood.
** There is no Church of the Stunning Left Hook.
*** I may not enable the monk by praying to him for spells.
**** Deities do not respond to prayer requests with half-eaten Recces Peanut Butter Cups.

[JAL_1138]

* May not eat the Thri-Kreen.

The halfling kept looking for butter, garlic, lemon juice, and chives while casting aside glances at my thri-kreen (and taking notes on my recipe for elf tartare).

[Martin Greywolf]

Huh. I have this idea for a One Piece game villain that becomes convinced that eating people with Devil Fruit powers will get him their... well, Devil Fruit powers. I thought I was the only one weird enough to come up with that.

[Lord Torath]

* May not eat the Thri-Kreen.

** I may not encourage the halfling to try the kank instead.
*** I may not challenge the halfling to make the kank even minimally palatable. She just might succeed.

[Socksy]

Wow, all of you. Friends are friends, not food!

* If a character is scared of oozes, sticking the pseudonatural template on one because then it's technically an Outsider doesn't make things better.

[danielxcutter]

*No, you make not become an Ur-Priest, not even if you have a good enough IC reason.
**Beholder Mage is right out.

Spoiler: Context

Show

Both prestige classes go from 1st to 9th level spells in 10 levels, and can be entered at a fairly low ECL. Beholder Mage in particular is extraordinarily OP because later you can use up to 10 spells in a single round.

[Lord Torath]

Wow, all of you. Friends are friends, not food!

Just FYI, kanks are giant-ant-like mounts on Athas whose primary defense is that they taste terrible. Their exoskeleton doesn't hurt, but these things taste really nasty. Carrion eaters and "swallows-whole" monsters (like dune trappers and purple worms) are pretty much the only things that eat them. The eggs are tasty, though.

[JAL_1138]

Wow, all of you. Friends are friends, not food!

Athasian thri-kreen eat elves—consider them a delicacy, in fact. Elves' "fear-scent" actually causes a strong feeling of hunger and an impulse to kill and eat them even in thri-kreen that have never eaten an elf before.

Athasian halflings will eat anybody; their whole schtick is that they're headhunting cannibals. Thri-kreen and halflings can actually end up getting along fairly well because they respect each others' hunting skill and mentality (thri-kreen call it "tikchak," or "hunt-mind").

[John Campbell]

* [D&D 3.5] not even when the party includes a Frenzied Berserker* with a total Will Save modifier of +2.

Spoiler: context

Show

Frenzied Berserker is a decidedly overpowered Prestige that grants a power similar to Barbarian Rage but makes you attack your friends if there are no enemies left. It also makes you automatically fly into this killer Frenzy any time you take damage and cannot succeed on a Will Save DC: 10+Damage Taken.
I believe you might be able to make a DC 20 Will Save to try and shake the Frenzy off, but with only a +2, that doesn't work often.

That player hated me, because he never got to trigger Frenzy on his own. He kept taking minor damage from something and flying off the handle. Archers, minor traps (which was fun for his comrades), and spells.

** It is rude to tell the guy planning to go Frenzied Berserker that, as a mounted archery specialist, I can back away faster than he can run, while still making full attacks from out of his reach, and I have no qualms about putting him down like Old Yeller the first time he attacks the party.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I must carry a weapon with a blast radius smaller than a small town.
** Even in Paranoia.
*** Even if I won't take any damage my sword cannot have a blast radius.

[Rater202]

**** No! Bad! No Illithid Savant for PCs!

*Not even Ilithi Savant.
**May does not mention that Cannibalism Super Power is a favorite trope of mine and if I'm allowed to go for it in a way that I think works I will go for it.

[Catalessi]

*Yes, my players can eat troll meat
**And they won't grow mutations for this
***Specially if i never warned them about mutations

[Anonymouswizard]

*Yes, my players can eat troll meat
**And they won't grow mutations for this
***Specially if i never warned them about mutations

* May not play a troll who makes money selling his flesh to a butcher.
** Under no circumstances should the troll have a recipe for troll tartare.

[Twizzly513]

*When I am only vaguely female, I cannot infiltrate high security areas by pretending to be a stripper
**Taking off my red clothes does not mean I can enter a blue security clearance area
***I am no longer allowed to have Charm be my mutant power
****You cannot seduce a bot to avoid immolation
*****Not even if you have Machine Empathy as your mutant power
******I am no longer allowed to have Machine Empathy as my mutant power

*May not conspire to illegally order a bio-weapon from online to aid the communists in destroying a beach side resort
**Especially if my C-Bay score is 7
***Cannot use sexual harassment as a reason for why security cameras are not in bathrooms so I can browse the deep web to buy the bio-weapon
****Cannot be surprised when bio-weapon is a box of fleas carrying deadly virus
*****Cannot call my self the Ringmaster of the Deadly Flea Circus
******Turning fleas on the rest of my team is poor form when they helped me get the fleas
*******Preemptively banned from putting any points into C-Bay

[Katrina]

* [BESM D20] When the GM says "Your attack does what?", that is not a prompt to respond "you should have read my character sheet better." Even if its true and the attack wasn't hidden in any way. The GM is a busy guy who has a lot of other power gamers to look over. **
* Should not use the fact that I am female and my fellows underestimate me against them at all times. Once or twice a month should be the limit.
* Not allowed to extend the limit under the pretense of "teaching a lesson." You can't teach someone who isn't listening.
* Using Telepathy to implant a command word that will make the BBEG perform Riverdance is, while amusing, a gross misuse of my mental powers.
* My Telepath should do more than install various prank triggers in villians as punishment/prevention aids.
* Installing prank triggers in my companions is likewise frowned upon.
* Especially if said prank triggers go undiscovered and used for entire sessions and only come into play when said character has turned against the party and is aiming his BFG at the mostly unarmed group. Though it did save everyone in the party (except for that one guy who turned against us. Man the other guys messed him up.)

Spoiler: The Attack!

Show

The GM had failed to note the interaction between the Aura and Area Effect qualities in the Special Attack Attribute. Area Effect allows a Reflex save to avoid the effect, but Aura does away with this. In the end, I didn't consider it broken because the effect in question was a Will Save or be knocked unconscious for one minute designed as a sort of Mental Scream. Completely flat-lined his swarm boss though.

[Coventry]

** Nor is Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: Don't Eat the Troll.

Dang, I just can't catch a break.

*** Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: Earth Pony Tartare is delicious is right out.

("Tartare" is the google search term that you were looking for, Goto124).

[goto124]

**** Northen tribal ladies do not particularly enjoy earth pony sausage tartare.
***** Is sausage tartare even a thing?

* Must not make a halfing chef whose goal in life is to make tartare out of everything.

[danielxcutter]

*Stop with the tartare jokes, everyone.