Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[Guizonde]

*breaking somebody's precious ming dynasty antique pottery does not count as a "vase-ectomy".
** unless it involves earthenware proppelled into the family jewels.
*** and getting surprisingly lucky on a crit roll.

[Socratov]

And those people are wrong. The little rat has a tiny adorable teddy bear in his little paws and just look at that adorable little face *squeeeeeee*

I want one. I will hug him and pet him and name him Mr. Whiskersnoot.

But then my cat would try to eat him and I should probably not get a rat.



Sure, Great Old Ones are cute when they're little, but then they grow up and build sunken cities with non-Euclidean geometries to await the return of the Outer Gods and—


Oh good Lord, that is sickeningly adorable. Well, Earth's had a good run, I guess.

*May not point out that the world and the cities we humans build atop it are already non euclidean in terms of geometry since the curvature of the earth exits
**May not insincerely apologise you turn out to be a flat-earther
***May not laugh so loud at the idea that I wake up my girlfriend who is currently sleeping.

[JAL_1138]

*May not point out that the world and the cities we humans build atop it are already non euclidean in terms of geometry since the curvature of the earth exits
**May not insincerely apologise you turn out to be a flat-earther
***May not laugh so loud at the idea that I wake up my girlfriend who is currently sleeping.

(I know, I know, Euclid never really got the hang of curved coordinate planes, so things like hyperbolic and elliptical geometry are non-Euclidean. But it's the term Lovecraft and subsequent mythos authors used a fair bit, albeit technically incorrectly.)

[Anonymouswizard]

And those people are wrong. The little rat has a tiny adorable teddy bear in his little paws and just look at that adorable little face *squeeeeeee*

I want one. I will hug him and pet him and name him Mr. Whiskersnoot.

But then my cat would try to eat him and I should probably not get a rat.

I have a friend where half of our relationship has consisted of squeeing over cute animals. Rats, bats, cows, hedgehogs, cats, bunnies...

Sure, Great Old Ones are cute when they're little, but then they grow up and build sunken cities with non-Euclidean geometries to await the return of the Outer Gods and—


Oh good Lord, that is sickeningly adorable. Well, Earth's had a good run, I guess.

Eh, sanity is overrated. Come here my little squiddymouth come here.

*May not point out that the world and the cities we humans build atop it are already non euclidean in terms of geometry since the curvature of the earth exits
**May not insincerely apologise you turn out to be a flat-earther
***May not laugh so loud at the idea that I wake up my girlfriend who is currently sleeping.

* May not burn down the setting due to the lack of curvature.
** May not ask how the world being shaped like a bowl affects perspective.

[JAL_1138]

I have a friend where half of our relationship has consisted of squeeing over cute animals. Rats, bats, cows, hedgehogs, cats, bunnies...



Eh, sanity is overrated. Come here my little squiddymouth come here.



* May not burn down the setting due to the lack of curvature.
** May not ask how the world being shaped like a bowl affects perspective.

I suspect it just looks like any valley ringed by mountains, except writ large. Like being in a low-lying area of central Switzerland with the Alps all around you many miles away. From what I gather the bowl shape is more from the increasing height of the mountainous regions surrounding the central sea as you move rimward; e.g., you don't end up standing parallel to the bottom of the bowl if you walk up the side of the bowl, you just climb. It effectively is a flat world in terms of the coordinate plane you'd use because you'd measure elevation over sea level instead of accounting for curvature for the sides of the bowl.

If the distance across is great enough (seems to be, given the map), there'd still be a horizon that looked very nearly like it does on Earth; you likely wouldn't see mountains on the far side of the bowl without optics. Although you'd notice greater visibility at altitude, and might even pick up the far mountains, might see the position of the horizon drop below eye level (might not; not sure on that). Ships on the ocean sailing away from you would deindle in size and fade into the hazy blue of Rayleigh scattering instead of dropping below the horizon. But on the whole it wouldn't be too terribly alien.*

(*based on something I skimmed over on teh interwebs and am probably misremembering, so possibly completely wrong.)

[Anonymouswizard]

I suspect it just looks like any valley ringed by mountains, except writ large. Like being in a low-lying area of central Switzerland with the Alps all around you many miles away. From what I gather the bowl shape is more from the increasing height of the mountainous regions surrounding the central sea as you move rimward; e.g., you don't end up standing parallel to the bottom of the bowl if you walk up the side of the bowl, you just climb. It effectively is a flat world in terms of the coordinate plane you'd use because you'd measure elevation over sea level instead of accounting for curvature for the sides of the bowl.

If the distance across is great enough (seems to be, given the map), there'd still be a horizon that looked very nearly like it does on Earth; you likely wouldn't see mountains on the far side of the bowl without optics. Although you'd notice greater visibility at altitude, and might even pick up the far mountains, might see the position of the horizon drop below eye level (might not; not sure on that). Ships on the ocean sailing away from you would deindle in size and fade into the hazy blue of Rayleigh scattering instead of dropping below the horizon. But on the whole it wouldn't be too terribly alien.*

(*based on something I skimmed over on teh interwebs and am probably misremembering, so possibly completely wrong.)

I mean, my assumption was that the would did literally curve up, but at a rate closer to 'shallow dish' than 'soup bowl'. So that by the time you reached the edge mountain regions there was a noticeable incline but you could still walk.

[John Campbell]

Spoiler: cows

Show

* Adding a kitty to artificially inflate your cuteness rating is cheating.

[DigoDragon]

* No matter how good our Craft (Snow fort) skill is, we cannot build the Fortress of Solitude.

[Rater202]

* No matter how good our Craft (Snow fort) skill is, we cannot build the Fortress of Solitude.

Yes you can. you just need Gear's help.

[JAL_1138]

* Adding a kitty to artificially inflate your cuteness rating is cheating.

Since there's plenty of cute to be found sans feline, here, no cat this time:

Spoiler: cow, redux

Show

[Guizonde]

*no more conning the innocent cleric into looking up deviant sexual practices just to see the look of shock and disgust on her face.
**there is no reason for me to ever say "orifice", "golf club", "bag of gravel", and "total prolapse" in the same sentence while playing pathfinder.

*just because the monk and bard think it's funny doesn't make it ok for me to do.
**if it involves irl san point loss, this goes double.

*if the oracle and my inquisitor ever start whispering and taking notes, the dm will start having shakes.
**no giving the dm shakes.

(to be fair, we were just wondering on how to go from "meta-game" to "in-game" knowledge on how to make undead explode messily)

[Anonymouswizard]

Since there's plenty of cute to be found sans feline, here, no cat this time:

Spoiler: cow, redux

Show

* May not squee at cows.

* If the GM has to break out the calculator, the plan is banned.
** Especially when I'm the GM.

* If the group loves fantasy I cannot run the most bizarre science fiction setting I can find.
** Even if they okay it.
*** The setting including magic ghouls doesn't make it better (despite that it's slightly more science fiction than science fantasy, due to how it's treated).
**** I am to put down Eldritch Skies and back away slowly before the players gain Hyperspace Exposure (this game's version of SAN, due to it being Cthulhu Mythos, it's pretty neat).

* The players' first obstacle is not 'none of you remembered to bring a shuttle'.
** I am explicitly supposed to say they can ask to borrow one.

* Theme naming is fine. Naming spaceships 'Unfounded Hope', 'Bad Idea', and 'Imminent Explosion' is not.

(Right, that should be most of the one shot I'm running in October on this thread, and one from the one shots others are running.)

[DigoDragon]

Yes you can. you just need Gear's help.

Unfortunately, the concept of intelligent equines is why the wizard got a non-magical magical tiger and my ranger was not allowed free magical loot from a 40th level wizard who was giving us free loot.

Since there's plenty of cute to be found sans feline, here, no cat this time:

Spoiler: cow, redux

Show

* May not squee at cows.

If you find the image cute, but you're not normally a fan of cows, does that make you a non-dairy squeer?

* If the GM has to break out the calculator, the plan is banned.

What if you're playing GURPS?

[Anonymouswizard]

What if you're playing GURPS?

Considering I'm the only one in this group with a scientific focus, the GM seems to make half the characters (which is why I'm annoyed the current one is running GURPS). I'll be running Savage Worlds so there will be no need for calculators, and the GM who likes GURPS is also of the persuasion that fantasy is the best, so I don't get to pull out the fun stuff.

When I'm GMing I'm all for reaching for the calculator, although I'm also relatively quick at mental maths. But if I'm reaching for my calculator then that's because I have an idea of the effects, and that's unlikely to go well for the PCs

[Tinkerer]

Since calculators are being discussed.

*Cannot apply more than one exponent to a number
**That one exponent should be either a 2 or maybe a 3
***Any task which causes the calculator to crash is most likely banned

[Anonymouswizard]

Since calculators are being discussed.

*Cannot apply more than one exponent to a number
**That one exponent should be either a 2 or maybe a 3
***Any task which causes the calculator to crash is most likely banned

What? But exponents of five or six are awesome!

**** The factorial button is banned.

[JAL_1138]

*****Anything requiring Excel, JMP, or Mathematica software to calculate is banned.

[LordCdrMilitant]

*****Anything requiring Excel, JMP, or Mathematica software to calculate is banned.

What about MATLAB?

Also, I use Excel all the time when playing RPG's, for just about any purposes. It's actually kind of necessary.

[JAL_1138]

What about MATLAB?

Basically equivalent (although each has strengths and weaknesses that make them quite different to use) to Mathematica.⁺ Wolfram Alpha would be covered under the same umbrella, as would other such software. I didn't include Corel's Quattro Pro or LibreOffice's Calc spreadsheets either, just using "Excel" to cover spreadsheets.

⁺Although I've heard MATLAB is better for data, which means it has some overlap with JMP as well.

Edit: I can say that the only time I've ever used Excel for RPGs has been for gear lists (to quickly sum costs, quantities, and weight) and there was one time I ran the books for the party's WEG D6 Star Wars smuggling operation with double-entry accounting (and tried to pull some shenanigans with inventory methods other than specific identification to convince the DM we'd made more—or less, depending on circumstances—money than we actually had). I'd hardly call it necessary, aside from the smuggling shenanigans...although I've heard what I consider to be horror stories of 3.PF characters with bonuses so complicated from buffs and circumstance modifiers people made character sheets in Excel to deal with it.

[GiantFlyingHog]

* Never let a player have a lascannon.
** Especially not at character creation.

[Anonymouswizard]

Edit: I can say that the only time I've ever used Excel for RPGs has been for gear lists (to quickly sum costs, quantities, and weight) and there was one time I ran the books for the party's WEG D6 Star Wars smuggling operation with double-entry accounting (and tried to pull some shenanigans with inventory methods other than specific identification to convince the DM we'd made more—or less, depending on circumstances—money than we actually had). I'd hardly call it necessary, aside from the smuggling shenanigans...although I've heard what I consider to be horror stories of 3.PF characters with bonuses so complicated from buffs and circumstance modifiers people made character sheets in Excel to deal with it.[/QUOTE]

I've used it for systems like GURPS to streamline character creation, it makes adding up point totals and managing gear easier.

I've also considered using it to make formulas in other system's character creation easier, but I'm much better with that than the continual counting in GURPS.

[ZamielVanWeber]

* Never let a player have a lascannon.
** Especially not at character creation.

I mixed up two weapons and accidentally gave my player a lascannon session two. Things got a bit... deadly afterwards.

*Never again to encourage my DM to use monsters when he specifically opens with "this will get me punched"

[Lord Torath]

Edit: I can say that the only time I've ever used Excel for RPGs has been for gear lists (to quickly sum costs, quantities, and weight) and there was one time I ran the books for the party's WEG D6 Star Wars smuggling operation with double-entry accounting (and tried to pull some shenanigans with inventory methods other than specific identification to convince the DM we'd made more—or less, depending on circumstances—money than we actually had). I'd hardly call it necessary, aside from the smuggling shenanigans...although I've heard what I consider to be horror stories of 3.PF characters with bonuses so complicated from buffs and circumstance modifiers people made character sheets in Excel to deal with it.

Huh. I've got a spreadsheet that has the stats of just about every spelljammer ship, and a summary of Maneuverability Class and ships weapons. Another that tracks the motions of celestial bodies in spheres with a standard layout, and calculates the travel time between bodies in the sphere. Then I've got one that does just about everything else: helps you generate ability scores, show how your height/weight compares to the rest of your race, generate hp for Monsters and NPCs, keep track of treasure and XP (and how to divide them evenly among the party members), saving throws and THAC0s by XP total and class, a time keeper, encumbrance calculator, magic item creation costs calculator (using Magic Item Creation for Dummies from www.Dragonsfoot.org), Deck of Many Things draws, Wild Mage variable casting levels, Wild Surge Results, and Wand of Wonder use, speed vs encumbrance vs strength vs character size, and how to scale 2E dragons down to 1E sizes. Plus a PSP tracker/calculator, overland movement speed calculator, fired arrow recovery calculator, and a host of misc. calculations.

I've got something similar for Shadowrun.

I... I may have a problem.

[JAL_1138]

Maybe a bit. There's worse problems to have, though. Height comparisons may be a bit overboard :P

There's certainly neat things you can do with it for gaming, as your list indicates. I would posit that there's a difference between (a) using it as an aid for stuff if you decide to use a laptop, but which can be done reasonably well and/or handwaved away if you just use the books and no computer, and (b) having a character sheet so complicated that you pretty much need it to track your to-hit bonus in any reasonable timeframe because of how much modifier stacking you're doing or because what shenanigans you're trying to pull are just that complex.

(Oh--away from the table, I've used it for average damage calculations for theorycrafting. Forgot to mention that.)

My accounting professor always said Excel was a bit of a slippery slope. The more familiar you get with it, the more you start using it for everything, whether or not it's something you'd normally use Excel for. Eventually she started sending her resumé as an Excel file instead of a Word doc or .pdf. For that matter, all our class material was in Excel instead of Powerpoint, Word, or Blackboard pages, whether any calculations needed done for it or not.

[Anonymouswizard]

Maybe a bit. There's worse problems to have, though. Height comparisons may be a bit overboard :P

There's certainly neat things you can do with it for gsming, as your list indicates. I would posit that there's a difference between (a) using it as an aid for stuff if you decide to use a laptop, but which can be done reasonably well and/or handwaved away if you just use the books and no computer, and (b) having a character sheet so complicated that you pretty much need it to track your to-hit bonus in any reasonable timeframe because of how much modifier stacking you're doing or because what shenanigans you're trying to pull are just that complex.

True, I'm going to be using one for the starship stats for my next game, but that's because it's easier for me to make a data sheet in Excel than Word (although when I use Word it looks better, which is why the PC sheets will be made in it). I use it a lot for character sheets and other functions that benefit from automation but can be done out of game, but I also keep to games where the bonuses don't stack so much it's needed in game (bar Fate where every single bonus stacks).

[JAL_1138]

*May not mutiny over the quality of the ship's food dispensers.
**Even if they appear to have been programmed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
***No, really, I can't mutiny if I'm the captain of an independent ship. That doesn't even make sense.

[Lord Torath]

* I may not install a "fireman's pole" that crosses the gravity plane in my Tradesman to confuse hostile boarding parties.
** Yes, it'd be really funny to see the scro bang into each other at the plane.
*** No, it's still not allowed.

* Having an all-halfling/gnomish crew and 4' ceilings on all decks is bad form.

[Guizonde]

* Never let a player have a lascannon.
** Especially not at character creation.

... i got screamed at heavily when my players went nose to business-end of a lascannon. then they captured it. they demanded i give them adequate targets for plinking. with a lascannon. sometimes, i love my group. sometimes they love me. i also gave them multilaser equivalents, heavy bolter equivalents, and of course, lots and lots of flamethrowers. turns out that if it can't be solved by the above 4 ballistic skill tests, they tend to run (and so do i when i'm a player).

[Anonymouswizard]

* I cannot play the spaceship.
** Because my desire to self upgrade was bad enough when I was a spider droid.
*** May not mount my engines on poles in order to turn more easily.

[LordCdrMilitant]

... i got screamed at heavily when my players went nose to business-end of a lascannon. then they captured it. they demanded i give them adequate targets for plinking. with a lascannon. sometimes, i love my group. sometimes they love me. i also gave them multilaser equivalents, heavy bolter equivalents, and of course, lots and lots of flamethrowers. turns out that if it can't be solved by the above 4 ballistic skill tests, they tend to run (and so do i when i'm a player).

My group prefers meltaguns and demolition charges.

* Never let a player have a lascannon.
** Especially not at character creation.

Use a Leman Russ Stygies-Pattern Vanquisher Command Tank with Beast Hunter Shells, Co-axial Heavy Stubber, Sponsons-Mounted Multi-Meltas, Pintle-Mounted Storm Bolter, Hull-Mounted Lascannon, and Hunter-Killer Missile, and then let the real fun begin.