Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[Lord Torath]

I bet its because he has a pocket watch. As everyone knows, anthropomorphized white rabbits are fine, but the pocket watch shatters suspension of disbelief.

I'd comment on this, but, unfortunately, I'm running late.

* I may not derail the game session by demanding to know just how massive the combat drones are.

[Guizonde]

I bet its because he has a pocket watch. As everyone knows, anthropomorphized white rabbits are fine, but the pocket watch shatters suspension of disbelief.

uh, actually, it's not the pocket watch he doesn't like. it's the land-hammer locomotive, 39 culverins, 20 canons, and the 299 children grandpa bunny insists on taking everywhere with him. grandpa used to have 40 culverins and 300 children, but there was a bit of an accident.

just goes to show you how deep the rabbit hole goes with this character's sense of humor.

as if i'd go for the low-hanging fruit. noooooo, i have to make it even more absurd.

[JAL_1138]

"Half-Kender, Half-Tinker-Gnome"

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if thousands of DMs cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

[Anonymouswizard]

uh, actually, it's not the pocket watch he doesn't like. it's the land-hammer locomotive, 39 culverins, 20 canons, and the 299 children grandpa bunny insists on taking everywhere with him. grandpa used to have 40 culverins and 300 children, but there was a bit of an accident.

just goes to show you how deep the rabbit hole goes with this character's sense of humor.

Still not seeing anything out of the ordinary here.


* Cannot change my entire planned character because I have a snazzy new avatar I want to double up as my character portrait.
** Charlatan Wizards should not exist. Especially if I have Alter Self. Doubly so if I'm a transmuter.
*** Just because I can spend ten minutes transmuting objects to more valuable materials doesn't mean I should.
**** The investigator tracking me down is not my second identity.

[Wookieetank]

*In VtM the medic should not be the most deadly character in the group.
**Just because you have an impressive drive skill, doesn't mean every car is a weapon.
***Using a party member's car as a weapon is just poor form.
****Arguing that they didn't know how to drive it anyways will not earn you brownie points with said party member.

[Anonymouswizard]

*In VtM the medic should not be the most deadly character in the group.
**Just because you have an impressive drive skill, doesn't mean every car is a weapon.
***Using a party member's car as a weapon is just poor form.
****Arguing that they didn't know how to drive it anyways will not earn you brownie points with said party member.

***** Generally Potence is considered the prerequisite, not drive.
****** It does not matter if doing it with drive doesn't count as a masquerade breach.

[Rater202]

*Delivering a tray of pot brownies to the night guard while disguised as a "stripogram" while my teammate rigs the PA system to play Puffy Ami Yummie's cover of The Night Begins to Shine on a loop will certainly keep the guards occupied while the rest of the party steals the painting from the museam.
**It's also needlessly complicated.
***And doing it more than once makes us surprisingly easy to track.
****Especially when we do it twice at the same museum.

[Knaight]

*The one shot concept "Magical Girls, except everyone is a sorority member" is now strictly banned.
**Slipping in a bunch of pregen characters with built in character arcs, drama, and general humanity and relatability under a concept that gonzo is also now strictly banned.
***This getting a large amount of solid roleplaying out of players that don't normally do that doesn't justify that concept in any way.

[Shulk]

I am now forbidden from: Using a mother****er's corpse to hit another mother****er, thus forcing a wisdom save against the traumatizing experience. Taking the tavern brawler feat. Taking proficiency in thrown horse. Taking proficiency in "Things that are, or were formerly, alive". Using grenades as a monk.

Spoiler: Image related

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, Rolling more than two crits in a row. Playing highway to hell at any point in a session. Running over people in a vehicle. Letting the psion drive. And so on

[Guizonde]

I am now forbidden from: Using a mother****er's corpse to hit another mother****er,

yeah, dm's tend to hate that. like seriously, how much impact damage is a full-grown man in kit worth? when my players did that (twice, i may add...) i just told them to roll 4 dice and take the best 2.

*despite my excellent throwing abilities, i cannot kick someone in the nether regions from across the room.
**yes, even if i spent a turn taking my boot off and aiming carefully.
*** i am preemptively banned blunderbusses, potato guns, grenade launchers, and any pneumatic mortars that can hold a size 6 or higher boot.
**** using child-sized footwear costs me karma/corruption/alignment points.

[Katrina]

* using Telekinetic Projectile on a boot is right out.
* I should inform new players that the phrase Anima: Beyond Fantasy "is like Pathfinder if you beat Pathfinder with the anime stick" means that the monsters are also Anime.
* No longer allowed to use the werewolf spirit that possesses "maidens" when half the party is female.

[Anonymouswizard]

*The one shot concept "Magical Girls, except everyone is a sorority member" is now strictly banned.
**Slipping in a bunch of pregen characters with built in character arcs, drama, and general humanity and relatability under a concept that gonzo is also now strictly banned.
***This getting a large amount of solid roleplaying out of players that don't normally do that doesn't justify that concept in any way.

**** Cannot be confused at the lack of Les Yay.

[Shulk]

**** Cannot be confused at the lack of Les Yay.

Cannot be upset by the lack of les miserables

[CrazyPenguin]

*If I insist on giving my character an accent, it will be one that I can actually do.

*Unmodified dwarven ale cannot be used to make Molotov cocktails.
**Nor does it result in flammable belches.

[Anonymouswizard]

Cannot be upset by the lack of les miserables

* There is never an excuse to quote Les Miserables in-session.
** Even if the GM's railroading has become dictatorial.
*** 'Do you hear the players sing, singing the song of angry men...'

[Personification]

* There is never an excuse to quote Les Miserables in-session.
** Even if the GM's railroading has become dictatorial.
*** 'Do you hear the players sing, singing the song of angry men...'

...It is the music of a PC tired of exposition!

[TheTeaMustFlow]

...It is the music of a PC tired of exposition!

When the casting of the dice
brings forth the smashing of the rails
A new game's about to start when the DM bails!

****I am limited to one musical interlude per session.

[Shulk]

Not allowed to steal invincibility granting plot artifact from the god of trickery mid monologue.
*Even If Said god of trickery is the enemy
**Even If I could probably make the sleight of hand check
***Even If he's an overconfident nob and needs to be taken down a few levels
****Even If he's trying to release a god which is the escence of order which wants to eliminate all sentient life, and all things chaotic
*****Even if he thinks He, a god of trickery, would be treated favourably by that god even though by nature he's a chaotic god, and would likely be a first target
******Even if he's too dumb to live
*******Even If the plot artifact is shiny as ****
********Even if it would save us a lot of problems
*********Even if your faction is opposing to the god OUTSIDE of him being a foe of the party
********** ESPECIALLY if one of your party members wants to impose disadvantage on you
*********** EVEN IF YOU ROLLED A NAT 20 ON AN INSIGHT CHECK ON HIM BEFORE HAND
************ Just... Don't yoink shiny plot item
************* Please.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Cannot throw my mage's staff like a javelin.
** Even if magically retrieving it has a better mana to damage ratio than casting a combat spell.
*** I do know a combat spell, don't I?
**** No longer allowed to spend skill points on thrown weapons while playing a mage.

Spoiler

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Just a fun thing I noticed in The Dark Eye. Of course there are advantages to using attack spells, most notably that you do damage more quickly, but it's still a nice little ability.

[VelociRapture12]

*I may not disintegrate one of the main antagonist on our second encounter.
** Not even if it means we stop all of their evil plans
*** Sending him to another plane is just inconvenient and rude.
**** Him killing you girlfriend just comes with the territory if he makes his fortitude save.

[Anonymouswizard]

* I cannot play a cliche mage.
** Or an avatar of the Firebrand.
*** Avatar of the Fool is right out. That one will get the group TPKed.
**** I'm going to get my Unknown Armies privileges revoked at this rate.
***** What do I mean by 'Pornomancer of the Mystic Hermaphrodite?

[sengmeng]

*I can be a cleric of a god of cheese, but it does not imply or necessitate the existence of a cheese domain power or spell list.

[Personification]

*I can be a cleric of a god of cheese, but it does not imply or necessitate the existence of a cheese domain power or spell list.

**Channel Divinity: Curdle Blood is not an ability granted by the Domain of Cheese
***You do not have access to the spell Power Word Grate
****You may only summon the Nachos of Death if you let the DM taste them first, and then make enough for everybody

[DigoDragon]

*You do not have access to the spell Power Word Grate

Summon Grater Munster?

[Evoker]

(All from Cypher System)
*Cannot make a computer from scrap metal, sticks, and rocks.
**I don't care what the craft rules say.
***No more characters with training in Craft skills.

*Cannot reduce all Positive Social Interaction checks by 5 levels with a starting character.
**Cannot convince the massive army of genetically enhanced humans riding dinosaurs to turn around and leave.
***Not even with a natural 20.

*Even if the the Gm said yes when I asked if the Medkit had trinitroxypropane in it, I can not have Nitroglycerin.

*If all the PC's belong to the same organization, no spending XP for a promotion within the organisation for the purpose of bossing the other PC's around.
**No buying status with XP.
***Not with in-game money either.
****Definitely not with real money!

(D&D)
*No giving a summoned creature a fully charged Staff of Power, and commanding it to break it while within 10 ft of the BBEG. (200 dmg, no save.)

[sengmeng]

*the commoner railgun does not work.
**firing commoners out of a railgun also does not work.

[Personification]

*the commoner railgun does not work.
**firing commoners out of a railgun also does not work.

***The Uncommoner Railgun is not a more powerful version of the magic item Commoner Railgun

[Anonymouswizard]

* There is no demiplane of looping bottomless pits.
** I may not create it.
*** I certainly can't use it to got the BBEG with a relativistic anvil.

[Personification]

*the commoner railgun does not work.
**firing commoners out of a railgun also does not work.

***The Uncommoner Railgun is not a more powerful version of the magic item Commoner Railgun

* There is no demiplane of looping bottomless pits.
** I may not create it.
*** I certainly can't use it to got the BBEG with a relativistic anvil.

On the topic of abusing free actions and magic to break relativity:

*I may not get a three hundred foot long chain of skeletons to hold hands, with me at the end of the line, and then have them all jump in place while I pivot slowly in a full circle over the course of six seconds, thereby destroying everything in a three hundred foot radius circle, and hitting someone three hundred feet away at a speed of ~214.1994 miles per hour
**there are not lines of skeletal hands criss-crossing all of the civilized space in the Prime Material Plane
***these nonexistent hands do not use the "passing an object" free action to deliver packages and mail over long distances in under six seconds
****this nonexistent system is not called the Bony Express

[Adrastos42]

Not allowed to steal invincibility granting plot artifact from the god of trickery mid monologue.
*Even If Said god of trickery is the enemy
**Even If I could probably make the sleight of hand check
***Even If he's an overconfident nob and needs to be taken down a few levels
****Even If he's trying to release a god which is the escence of order which wants to eliminate all sentient life, and all things chaotic
*****Even if he thinks He, a god of trickery, would be treated favourably by that god even though by nature he's a chaotic god, and would likely be a first target
******Even if he's too dumb to live
*******Even If the plot artifact is shiny as ****
********Even if it would save us a lot of problems
*********Even if your faction is opposing to the god OUTSIDE of him being a foe of the party
********** ESPECIALLY if one of your party members wants to impose disadvantage on you
*********** EVEN IF YOU ROLLED A NAT 20 ON AN INSIGHT CHECK ON HIM BEFORE HAND
************ Just... Don't yoink shiny plot item
************* Please.

I don't know, plot-destroying or not, out-tricking a trickster God and stealing their macguffin as punishment for their overconfidence is so very Mythological that it probably gets a +5 circumstance bonus.

....

*May not give players bonuses to derailing my plot, no matter how cool the idea is.