Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[Guizonde]

I don't know, plot-destroying or not, out-tricking a trickster God and stealing their macguffin as punishment for their overconfidence is so very Mythological that it probably gets a +5 circumstance bonus.

....

*May not give players bonuses to detailing my plot, no matter how cool the idea is.

should have known that a few years ago. i gave my players a rhino apc. long story short, my plot was in ashes and they invented monsanto.

*may not say with hindsight it's an arguably better plot than whatever i had planned.

[Fable Wright]

* I cannot play a cliche mage.
** Or an avatar of the Firebrand.
*** Avatar of the Fool is right out. That one will get the group TPKed.
**** I'm going to get my Unknown Armies privileges revoked at this rate.
***** What do I mean by 'Pornomancer of the Mystic Hermaphrodite?

... That's pretty tame for UA. (Also? It won't be a TPK. The fool can't die. )

Have I mentioned the time I accidentally broke the world?

* No longer allowed to take actions that cause the rest of the party to create the SCP society to counteract me.
** No longer allowed to play an Oneiromancer
*** No longer allowed to play any Charger, except as a plot device while GMing.
**** DEFINITELY no longer allowed to play an Avatar of the Healer. (Bringing someone back from the dead for the sole purpose of interrogating them while they have 5 failed notches, guaranteed, in two gauges, was a bit cruel on the whole.)

[Anonymouswizard]

... That's pretty tame for UA. (Also? It won't be a TPK. The fool can't die. )

Oh, the point was more that I'm in a lame group who can't even go as far as allowing the lesser aspects of UA. They won't even allow me to run it.

Have I mentioned the time I accidentally broke the world?

* No longer allowed to take actions that cause the rest of the party to create the SCP society to counteract me.
** No longer allowed to play an Oneiromancer
*** No longer allowed to play any Charger, except as a plot device while GMing.
**** DEFINITELY no longer allowed to play an Avatar of the Healer. (Bringing someone back from the dead for the sole purpose of interrogating them while they have 5 failed notches, guaranteed, in two gauges, was a bit cruel on the whole.)

Again, I've got no clue what's wrong with any of this. Sounds like a normal game.

...You mean PCs aren't supposed to be both crazy and amoral?

[RidEnigmadle]

Dark Heresy

*Not allowed to erase the party's memory of our current leaders promotion and take control of the party. Even if I could do the job better.

**Banned from buying explosive collars, tranquilizer darts, and manacles in bulk.

***Have been asked not to start any more riots during my previous character's funeral. Especially if said riots turn a planet spaning cold war, hot.

[Shulk]

No longer allowed to be a double agent if one of the teams i'm spying on is the party
*No longer to be a triple agent
**No longer able to be a quintuple agent
***No longer able to be anything between and including a quintuple agent and an octuple agent
****For god's sakes man, It's really a pain when you're spying on, and are a spy for, basicly every faction we throw at you!
*****You know what, I'll let this slide if you're playing a revolver ocelot style character, but that's it!
****** EVEN REVOLVER OCELOT IS CONFUSED AT THIS RATE. STOP IT PLEASE
******* WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE A DM ALL ALONG?
********AND NOW YOU'RE GETTING INTO THE DIVINE POLITICAL SCENARIO
********* ****it, I give up, you're the god of backstabbing now

Chronic backstabbing disorder is not a valid trait to take.
*nor does it count as a disibility
**CBD is not a disability
***Alright, Fine, That might make sense in GURPS, But we're playing DND 5e For ****s sakes
**** No longer allowed to bring along medicine for CBD
*****No longer allowed to file workers rights and insurance claims BASED around CBD
****** Not allowed to Kill the entire party on your own and say "It's because I forgot to take my chronic backstabbing disorder medicine"
*******"NO SHULK, CHRONIC BACKSTABBING DISORDER IS NOT A REAL THING."
No longer allowed to play evil characters

[Personification]

No longer allowed to be a double agent if one of the teams i'm spying on is the party
*No longer to be a triple agent
**No longer able to be a quintuple agent
***No longer able to be anything between and including a quintuple agent and an octuple agent
****For god's sakes man, It's really a pain when you're spying on, and are a spy for, basicly every faction we throw at you!
*****You know what, I'll let this slide if you're playing a revolver ocelot style character, but that's it!
****** EVEN REVOLVER OCELOT IS CONFUSED AT THIS RATE. STOP IT PLEASE
******* WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE A DM ALL ALONG?
********AND NOW YOU'RE GETTING INTO THE DIVINE POLITICAL SCENARIO
********* ****it, I give up, you're the god of backstabbing now

Chronic backstabbing disorder is not a valid trait to take.
*nor does it count as a disibility
**CBD is not a disability
***Alright, Fine, That might make sense in GURPS, But we're playing DND 5e For ****s sakes
**** No longer allowed to bring along medicine for CBD
*****No longer allowed to file workers rights and insurance claims BASED around CBD
****** Not allowed to Kill the entire party on your own and say "It's because I forgot to take my chronic backstabbing disorder medicine"
*******"NO SHULK, CHRONIC BACKSTABBING DISORDER IS NOT A REAL THING."
No longer allowed to play evil characters

If you or a loved one suffer from CBD, Cynnirjetyxcks™ may be right for you. Cynnirjetyxcks™ is a once per long rest medication proven to lessen, or even completely negate, the symptoms of CBD. With Cynnirjetyxcks™, you no longer have to feel the urge to suddenly Sneak Attack your close friends.
Side effects of Cynnirjetyxcks™ include vomiting, hallucination, alignment checks, disadvantage on certain saving throws and ability checks, and all of the possible results of the Wild Magic table. Some who take Cynnirjetyxcks™ have reported increased rates of natural 1s and experiencing the flaw "tastes good to dragons". If you experience any of these effects while taking Cynnirjetyxcks™, immediately contact your Clerical proffessional.
Talk to your Cleric about Cynnirjetyxcks™, because tomorrow there can be hope. Hope for a world without self-inflicted TPKs.

[TeChameleon]

* I don't care if it technically is toxic as well, any 'poison' that causes the BBEG to develop a ****ing blast radius when ingested is vetoed!
** No, the fact that it will also cause the BBEG to spontaneously combust while dissolving does not make things better.
*** Nor does the fact that the BBEG's remains will be spewing clouds of boiling acid.
**** The initial poison stopping the BBEG's heart is a bit moot when their heart is in three separate places, none of them inside their body!

* I am no longer allowed to play characters with knowledge of chemistry and access to transmutation or creation spells.

* I may no longer introduce relativistic kill vehicles to a standard D&D fantasy battlefield, no matter how much of a boost to power and knowledge my wizard may have gained, and should just be thankful that the DM didn't realize that the entire battlefield should have been sterilized by gigajoules of hard radiation.

[Guizonde]

If you or a loved one suffer from CBD, Cynnirjetyxcks™ may be right for you. Cynnirjetyxcks™ is a once per long rest medication proven to lessen, or even completely negate, the symptoms of CBD. With Cynnirjetyxcks™, you no longer have to feel the urge to suddenly Sneak Attack your close friends.
Side effects of Cynnirjetyxcks™ include vomiting, hallucination, alignment checks, disadvantage on certain saving throws and ability checks, and all of the possible results of the Wild Magic table. Some who take Cynnirjetyxcks™ have reported increased rates of natural 1s and experiencing the flaw "tastes good to dragons". If you experience any of these effects while taking Cynnirjetyxcks™, immediately contact your Clerical proffessional.
Talk to your Cleric about Cynnirjetyxcks™, because tomorrow there can be hope. Hope for a world without self-inflicted TPKs.

that was awesome

[Shulk]

If you or a loved one suffer from CBD, Cynnirjetyxcks™ may be right for you. Cynnirjetyxcks™ is a once per long rest medication proven to lessen, or even completely negate, the symptoms of CBD. With Cynnirjetyxcks™, you no longer have to feel the urge to suddenly Sneak Attack your close friends.
Side effects of Cynnirjetyxcks™ include vomiting, hallucination, alignment checks, disadvantage on certain saving throws and ability checks, and all of the possible results of the Wild Magic table. Some who take Cynnirjetyxcks™ have reported increased rates of natural 1s and experiencing the flaw "tastes good to dragons". If you experience any of these effects while taking Cynnirjetyxcks™, immediately contact your Clerical proffessional.
Talk to your Cleric about Cynnirjetyxcks™, because tomorrow there can be hope. Hope for a world without self-inflicted TPKs.

I have found my new signature
Or not. It's too big

[Personification]

that was awesome

Thank you.

I have found my new signature
Or not. It's too big

And you as well, though I am sorry that it is too big. You could spoiler it, and I will allow you to sig it if you credit me and make it clear that CBD is Chronic Backstabbing Disorder.

[Shulk]

Thank you.

And you as well, though I am sorry that it is too big. You could spoiler it, and I will allow you to sig it if you credit me and make it clear that CBD is Chronic Backstabbing Disorder.

Did it as a quote.

[Shulk]

No longer allowed to use explosives as a monk
*You call throwing Grenades and dynamite around a martial art?
** Hey, As long as it works
*** No longer allowed to make fist of the north star refrences
**** OH MY GAHHWD!
***** Jojo refrences banned too
****** Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!
******* No monty python either
******** FISSION MAILED
********* I give up.

[Anonymouswizard]

* 'I'm running Forgotten Realms' does not mean 'I lost the setting notes'.

Shall we use 'A kick in the tiefling' for the next thread? Or shall we come up with something new?

I recommend Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: My Sheet Cannot Be In Base One For those who don't get the joke, base one has only a single symbol...

[Personification]

* 'I'm running Forgotten Realms' does not mean 'I lost the setting notes'.

Shall we use 'A kick in the tiefling' for the next thread? Or shall we come up with something new?

I recommend Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: My Sheet Cannot Be In Base One For those who don't get the joke, base one has only a single symbol...

What about, "It's 'Beastmaster Ranger', not 'Scruffy Looking Nerfed Herder'".

It doesn't really fit, but I just wanted to put the pun somewhere. Personally, I like "kick in the Tiefling". More seriously, what about "Getting a RAW Deal"?

[Lord Raziere]

* May not make fate itself crash and start ranting in response to a players action
** Especially if its just an offhand comment about killing the final boss first
*** May not make fate itself a comedic obstacle to overcome for the rest of the arc
**** Especially not after tearing a hole in reality that requires a time god to fix.
***** Double Especially while an ork invasion is going on and they just blew up the moon.

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not have a copy of my character sheet in binary.
** Especially if it's just to annoy the GM.
*** Cannot abuse the fact the GM doesn't know binary that well to get away with a 1110 spell save DC at 1st level (I was lucky, rolled 10010 INT).

* Recording my character sheet in Vigesimal just so I never have to write more than one digit is bad form.
** Cannot ascend to higher bases as I level up.

[kitanas]

* May not have a copy of my character sheet in binary.
** Especially if it's just to annoy the GM.
*** Cannot abuse the fact the GM doesn't know binary that well to get away with a 1110 spell save DC at 1st level (I was lucky, rolled 10010 INT).

* Recording my character sheet in Vigesimal just so I never have to write more than one digit is bad form.
** Cannot ascend to higher bases as I level up.

14 spell DC and 17 int Isn't that bad

[Guizonde]

* 'I'm running Forgotten Realms' does not mean 'I lost the setting notes'.

Shall we use 'A kick in the tiefling' for the next thread? Or shall we come up with something new?

I recommend Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: My Sheet Cannot Be In Base One For those who don't get the joke, base one has only a single symbol...

since it'll be the twelfth iteration, why not: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: no matter my bab i can't hit the clock!! or another pun using ac...

[Evoker]

* 'I'm running Forgotten Realms' does not mean 'I lost the setting notes'.

Shall we use 'A kick in the tiefling' for the next thread? Or shall we come up with something new?

I recommend Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: My Sheet Cannot Be In Base One For those who don't get the joke, base one has only a single symbol...

DO you mean: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IIIIIIIIIIII: My Sheet Cannot Be In Base One

[Personification]

14 spell DC and 17 int Isn't that bad

I'm pretty sure 10010 is 18 in base ten.

What about "Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: Old Hobbits Halflings Die Hard"?I have recently been reading Irregular Webcomic, sorry.

[Aquillion]

14 spell DC and 17 int Isn't that bad

* When someone rolls a wizard with 17 Int, I will not confront them with "bro, do you even think?"

[Rater202]

* May not make fate itself crash and start ranting in response to a players action
** Especially if its just an offhand comment about killing the final boss first
*** May not make fate itself a comedic obstacle to overcome for the rest of the arc
**** Especially not after tearing a hole in reality that requires a time god to fix.
***** Double Especially while an ork invasion is going on and they just blew up the moon.

*May not comment that it's kind of funny that the time God physically arrived and we're all just kind of ignoring her and having our own conversations around her.

[Spore]

*May not comment that it's kind of funny that the time God physically arrived and we're all just kind of ignoring her and having our own conversations around her.

**May not SMACK the time god's envoy for not telling us the whole prophecy.
***God I hate cryptic divinations. They could be like "go to the capital and shove this magical rod into the shrine of the corrupted god" but noo, it's "You will find the taint in the eye of the storm."
****You know what, you can shove your purifying artifact rod where the overgod made the sun not shine.
*****Cannot joke about the sun god having no such place.

[Guizonde]

**May not SMACK the time god's envoy for not telling us the whole prophecy.
***God I hate cryptic divinations. They could be like "go to the capital and shove this magical rod into the shrine of the corrupted god" but noo, it's "You will find the taint in the eye of the storm."
****You know what, you can shove your purifying artifact rod where the overgod made the sun not shine.
*****Cannot joke about the sun god having no such place.

from my pf campaign:

* yes, the time god has time stop at will. no, i can't smack him due to his plot armor.
** talking is a free action, but i can't hurt him with words.
*** even when he hasn't cast time stop.
**** colorful insults aside, the dm will slap me if i make him laugh beer out his nose again.
***** "when weapons fail, you improvise" should not be the group's motto!!

[Shulk]

May no longer play a spellcaster if I have under 10 points in my spellcasting stat
No longer allowed to play a barbarian with a negative modifier to strength
No longer allowed to create weird multiclass builds
*That includes Monk Barbarian. You really should not be doing martial arts while raging
** That also includes Wizard barbarian
*** Bardbarian, while Absolutely METAL, is also not allowed
**** Rogue monk is Simply remembering the basics of cqc Fine, actually.

[Personification]

from my pf campaign:

* yes, the time god has time stop at will. no, i can't smack him due to his plot armor.
** talking is a free action, but i can't hurt him with words.
*** even when he hasn't cast time stop.
**** colorful insults aside, the dm will slap me if i make him laugh beer out his nose again.
***** "when weapons fail, you improvise" should not be the group's motto!!

******May not get around this by being a bard who has Tavern Brawler (A character who knows about plot armor and how to circumvent it, can literally hurt people with words, and, thanks to Tavern Brawler, actually has an ability that says "when weapons fail, you improvise") (yes, I know this is 5e not pf, but I don't play pf so I don't know the proper equivalents)

[Shulk]

from my pf campaign:

* yes, the time god has time stop at will. no, i can't smack him due to his plot armor.
** talking is a free action, but i can't hurt him with words.
*** even when he hasn't cast time stop.
**** colorful insults aside, the dm will slap me if i make him laugh beer out his nose again.
***** "when weapons fail, you improvise" should not be the group's motto!!

****** Not allowed to ask if the god of time is a vampire
******* Or if they're british
******** Or if they have a blue box
********* Or if they have two hearts
********** Casting time stop right before they do does not result in a time stop duel, it results in action economy deciding it doesn't want to live any longer
*********** Not allowed to account physics into the time stop ability, by including divide by zero errors, to result in the god litterally ripping himself appart as soon as time restarts due to causing multiple divide by zero errors in reality.
************ Putting a watch on the time god does not counteract their time stop ability. Nor is it necessary to use to determine if he's using it. it could however give a count on how long he can use it for
************* It should be assumed that if you can move in a time stop, all your clothes and equipment can too, so you dont have to be completely naked to use time stop.

[sengmeng]

****** Not allowed to ask if the god of time is a vampire
******* Or if they're british
******** Or if they have a blue box
********* Or if they have two hearts
********** Casting time stop right before they do does not result in a time stop duel, it results in action economy deciding it doesn't want to live any longer
*********** Not allowed to account physics into the time stop ability, by including divide by zero errors, to result in the god litterally ripping himself appart as soon as time restarts due to causing multiple divide by zero errors in reality.
************ Putting a watch on the time god does not counteract their time stop ability. Nor is it necessary to use to determine if he's using it. it could however give a count on how long he can use it for
************* It should be assumed that if you can move in a time stop, all your clothes and equipment can too, so you dont have to be completely naked to use time stop.

************** It should never be assumed that if the PCs are doing something in the nude it's out of necessity.

[noob]

*can not reach elan conclusion that I must be naked to do stealth.
**even if I argue that when you hide you do not hide your equipment.
***even if I say that if I could hide my equipment by hiding then I could use a tower shield to hide.

[Anonymouswizard]

* My character must put clothes on at some point.
** 'There's no law against public nudity', while true in the country we're playing in, might not be true in-setting.