Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[Guizonde]

*I may not attempt to throw the dungeon my party are currently exploring at an enemy
**nor can I throw my fellow party members
***possession of a vorpal throwing GREATAXE is right out

i like this guy without knowing anything else about them.

*favored enemy "subtlety" doesn't exist.
**neither does "boredom", "idiots", "tropes", "michael bay", "creatures", or "plot".

[Rater202]

*I can not drink beer out of the holy grail or any of its equivalents.
**Or wine.
***Or Rum
****Or vodka.
*****Or absinthe.
******Or any kind of whiskey.
*******No drinking booze out of any sacred cups.

[DigoDragon]

*I can not drink beer out of the holy grail or any of its equivalents.
**Or wine.

Not wine? That's... awkward.


* First contact with hostile aliens shall not include communications in Tamarian, emojis, or armpit farts.
** Evacuated colonists are not to be armed and sent back down just to pad my defense numbers.
*** I am not to dismiss a 104% survival rate of rescued colonists as an act of Starfleet efficiency.
**** If the aliens demand payment for the invaders I captured, I'm not to melt the prisoners down into currency.

[Sharur]

Not wine? That's... awkward.

Well, Rater202 didn't say that you couldn't put wine in, just that you couldn't drink it out.

Which depending on where you stand on Transubstantiation may be quite appropriate

[Twizzly513]

*May no longer replace hands with steel fists
**The wizard is no longer allowed to enchant said fists
***Magic +3 steel fists that launch like a light crossbow and can move and manifest with fire was a bad idea
****No longer allowed to take the sharpshooter feat with launching fists
*****No longer allowed to weld more pieces of metal to body for AC
******Rocket feet was also a bad idea
*******So was being allowed to become 20 feet tall at will
********No longer allowed to become 8 levels above rest of party
*********No longer allowed to play fighter

*No rolling to seduce the plot
**No not even if you're a bard
***Especially because you're a bard
****You cannot multiclass to cleric and worship a god of plot
*****You cannot become the god of plot again

[Morphic tide]

*May no longer get Metamagic Song as a gestalt Sorcerer/Bard
** May no longer get Lyric Spell as a gestalt Sorcerer/Bard
***May no longer play a Sorcerer/Bard, gestalt or not, with Lyric Spell or Metamagic Song
**** May no longer play any build that has both Bard and another spontaneous Arcane spellcasting class with Lyric Spell or Metamagic Song

Not OP, but silly and prone to messing up plans in a lot of ways. Bards get one use of Bardic Music per level. Metamagic Song lets you replace the spell level adjustment of metamagic on spontaneously cast Arcane spells with uses of Bardic Music. Lyric Spell lets you cast Spontaneous Arcane Spells by expending one Bardic Music use plus the spell level. Naturally, this makes Sorcerer/Bard gestalt get silly because you are replacing a bunch of Sorcerer spell slots with Bardic Music because the feats don't mention class restrictions. And it breaks for the Divine Bard AFC/variant class because it only works for Arcane spells.

But here's the biggest catch: You can use metamagic on your highest level spell with Metamagic Song and get extra uses per day of your highest level spell slot. You can break the Sorcerer's normal restrictions in nasty ways to let loose novas far above your normal level. It can make the DM feel safe when your level 3 Sorcerer/level 3 Bard gestalt has cast their full daily allotment of 2nd level spells, then they use their untouched Bardic Music uses to cast just one more 2nd level spell.

[JAL_1138]

*Explosives do not come in "vorpal."

[Socratov]

*Explosives do not come in "vorpal."

**Not even frag grenades

[DigoDragon]

**Not even frag grenades

*** Wrapping Detcord around someone's neck is technically cheating.

[Anonymouswizard]

*No rolling to seduce the plot
**No not even if you're a bard

Then what's the point of playing a bard?

* I cannot estimate the number of bards in a city by taking the square root of the number of unplanned pregnancies.
** Bards do not compete with each other to have the most illegitimate children.

[JAL_1138]

*Wiping out a tinker gnome settlement by turning a kender loose and then running away will be considered a chaotic evil act.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Yes, I may refluff my powers as needed to fit my character concept.
** Magic Missile cannot be refluffed to 'two weeks ago I mind controlled an assassin and now I'm telling him to shoot where I want'.
* Cannot buy every single mind control and Divination spell in the game and nothing else.
** Especially because it's significantly more powerful than actually buying combat magic.

[JAL_1138]

* Cannot buy every single mind control and Divination spell in the game and nothing else.
** Especially because it's significantly more powerful than actually buying combat magic.

You say that until someone throws out a lead-plated golem with Protection from Scrying and Nystul's Magic Aura on it.

[Anonymouswizard]

You say that until someone throws out a lead-plated golem with Protection from Scrying and Nystul's Magic Aura on it.

Two things:
-This is very unlikely to come up with the games I play in, and would only come up in a game I'd run specifically as a counter to mind magic.
-I consider power here to be the ability to solve problems, and while combat magic can be used creatively (I sometimes like to take basic fire spells for utility) stuff like mind control and illusions solves more problems I tend to encounter in-game.

So yeah, if the GM or other player throws a construct defended against scrying at me, well done. It's the sort of shutting down that I'm totally fine with but few people are actually willing to do (which is weird, especially as I've been known to abuse enchantment magic like it's going out of fashion). Prove to me that investing in combat magic rather than avoid combat like the plague is worthwhile and I'll do it. But I've never had a GM make mind control useless yet.

[Fable Wright]

You say that until someone throws out a lead-plated golem with Protection from Scrying and Nystul's Magic Aura on it.

Then you scry and mind control the guy who can solve the problem for you.

[Dr_Dinosaur]

*May not build Imp
**or Skitter
***May not play as ANY character from Worm

*If the first step of my plan for avoiding detection is "Get found," it's a bad plan.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Not every weapon has a blast radius.
** The minimum safe distance from my character must be less than the average county.

[JAL_1138]

* Not every weapon has a blast radius.
** The minimum safe distance from my character must be less than the average county.

***The weapon's range must exceed the minimum safe distance.
****May not have an M-29 Davy Crockett.
*****May not purchase, engineer, invent, or otherwise acquire any functionally-equivalent weapon system.
******May not research any magic that can produce equivalent results either.
******Any character who can do more damage, by any means, whether in terms of immediate impact or long-term damage, than an M-388 miniature nuclear warhead is vetoed.


*In Deadlands, my Agent (Union spy/paranormal investigator/MiB) in Deadlands must be more subtle than summarily executing any NPC who owns slaves, works for the CSA, or witnesses something they shouldn't.
**I am banned from purchasing dynamite unless I can use it responsibly.
***"Responsibly" means not only minimizing civilian casualties and property damage, but also refraining from detonating the entire plot.
****My first reaction to hearing about a haunted mine may not be to spend all my dinero on dynamite.
*****"Spending all my starting money on dynamite" is not a valid character concept.

[Anonymouswizard]

***The weapon's range must exceed the minimum safe distance.

**** Any suggestion that this isn't true for standard thermonuclear hand grenades will result in immediate allocation to the nearest maximum fun chamber.
***** I can put an explosive enchantment on my arrows. I may not put an explosive enchantment on my sword.
****** Explosive enchantments no do stack.

* No matter what the rules say my monk cannot offensively sit on people multiple times a round.
** May not double my weight every time my martial arts damage die increases.

[Rater202]

*May not build Imp
**or Skitter
***May not play as ANY character from Worm

****Especially not Riley.
*****My character is not a good girl.

[Belac93]

***** I can put an explosive enchantment on my arrows. I may not put an explosive enchantment on my sword.

I had a player who got a 'chaos sword,' which had a 1-in-4 chance of triggering a wand of wonder affect every time it was used. He killed his teammates once or twice with accidental fireballs, and then couldn't save them because his previous strike summoned a swarm of butterflies.

*Not allowed to abuse the morality rules in world of darkness.
**Changelings who can murder any amount of people they like, but lose sanity from seeing bread, should not exist.

[Guizonde]

*Explosives do not come in "vorpal."

**unfortunately.
***not allowed to change that. we went over that five times, edward!!

******Any character who can do more damage, by any means, whether in terms of immediate impact or long-term damage, than an M-388 miniature nuclear warhead is vetoed
**I am banned from purchasing dynamite unless I can use it responsibly.
***"Responsibly" means not only minimizing civilian casualties and property damage, but also refraining from detonating the entire plot

you too, huh? we'd get along like a house on fire! (the dm on the other hand would weep tears of rage which one of us would proceed to weaponize.

*no weaponizing the dm's bodily fluids!

* No matter what the rules say my monk cannot offensively sit on people multiple times a round.

**teabagging is an offense reserved for multiplayer fps. not pen and paper...

preemptively throwing one out (to be confirmed tonight):

*dark heresy and pathfinder have a class in common: the inquisitor. don't mix up the two.
** pathfinder inquisitors will not *BLAM!!* anyone, unless they've got inquisition of black powder.
*** nope, no giving guizonde guns in pathfinder.
**** especially a scatter-gun to abuse crit rules.
***** or to "expedite" any problem by administration of high-velocity lead to a problematic face or twelve.

[Anonymouswizard]

* If I'm going to burn the heretics I must first establish what religion I follow.

[Guizonde]

* If I'm going to burn the heretics I must first establish what religion I follow.

**despite evidence to the contrary, "violence" is not a religion.
*** neither is "genocide".
*** "fire" on the other hand...

(well, in animist religions it is...)

[Dr_Dinosaur]

****Especially not Riley.
*****My character is not a good girl.

*Cannot play a Vivisectionist Alchemist interested in studying how the brains of psionic characters/sorcerers vary from other people
**Cannot perform surgery to make people psionic or sorcerers.
***Conversely, cannot remove/alter someone's innate casting abilities via lobotomy

[Guizonde]

*guizonde is no longer allowed to play the skill monkey.
** no becoming the face of the group with an 11 in cha.
*** just because i bypassed a mad playstyle by swapping wis and cha does not mean i've got "common sense".
**** despite evidence to the contrary, "common sense" is not a superpower.
***** becoming batman through multiclassing just to throw out a pun will get me books thrown at me.

[JAL_1138]

*May not use Dimension Door to flee combat by saying "I holler "Run for your lives!" and cast "NOPE" to do a leave 500 feet thataway."
**Especially not in the first round of combat.
***Especially not if I'm three levels ahead of more than half the party.

[Zarquon Illius]

My bardlock cannot summon his patron by singing 'hello darkness my old friend....'
Nor is that the verbal component for the "Silence" spell.

I cannot take expertise in "Pinball Machine" and incessantly play "Pinball Wizard".

The spell is called "Plane Shift", not "Stairway to Heaven"

I am banned from any musical instruments or systems during play.

[JAL_1138]

My bardlock cannot summon his patron by singing 'hello darkness my old friend....'
Nor is that the verbal component for the "Silence" spell.

I cannot take expertise in "Pinball Machine" and incessantly play "Pinball Wizard".

The spell is called "Plane Shift", not "Stairway to Heaven"

I am banned from any musical instruments or systems during play.

*Not required to play Stairway to Heaven if we take the Infinite Staircase to get to Elysium.
**Not allowed to not make a reference, however.

*If the last time I met my Enemy (from the Flaw) I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with the pea-shooter of a shoddy revolver I had, buying my Shooting skill up two die sizes, getting a Gatling pistol, and taking the Quickdraw edge before the next time we meet up is bad form.
**Not allowed to play the "*whistle* Wah Wah Wah" sound effect from A Fistful of Dollars every time we draw initiative.
***Under no circumstances can I ever make a Deadlands character who can be described completely accurately as "Slim Pickens with a Gatling gun." Again.

[sengmeng]

*"A wizard did it!" is not a good explanation for why everything in my campaign has terrible names.
**No, working said wizard into the plot doesn't make it better.
*Including extra rules for turning and rebuking creatures other than undead is fine. Revealing those rules to the party by having their warforged get commanded by an enemy cleric is not so fine.
**Especially when he tackles the wizard and beats him unconscious in two rounds.
***Even moreso when he hadn't been effective in melee when he fought FOR the party.