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  1. - Top - End - #1471
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    John Campbell's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    * When the GM tells us, "The most powerful magic-wielding NPCs in the setting are taking care of the eldritch horror. They have it handled," that does not mean, "They're just NPCs; they're going to screw it up. We'd better go help them."

    ** That they then screwed it up and we had to help them is totally irrelevant to this point.

    *** When an eldritch horror has overpowered the most powerful magic-wielding NPCs in the setting, the correct solution to this problem is not, "Our brick gives it the People's Elbow."

    **** ... not even if that has a 100% success rate to date.

    * When the GM tells us, "Someone organized a mass Arkham breakout. Batman is too busy to help you," that does not mean, "Go to Gotham and defeat all of the Batman villains so he doesn't have an excuse."

    ** ... especially if we then forget what we wanted Bruce's help for and leave town without even talking to him.

    * I am not to mess with Justice League members by taking advantage of having come from a universe where they're on Saturday morning cartoons to casually refer to them by their secret identity names.

    * When we totally fail to follow the GM's incoherent alleged plot, we should not default to going through the Heroes & Villains books and taking down everyone whose name is in red in alphabetical order.
    Play your character, not your alignment.

  2. - Top - End - #1472
    Pixie in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    hi all Actually, another thought, using dark gem, a sangromancer could get a troll body, or some other regenerating creature, then they would be regenerating health for spells. Note to self: Make a troll sangromancer for a party to fight.

  3. - Top - End - #1473
    Orc in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    *When my character has to do his taxes, he may not summon-chain thousands of fairies and claim them all as dependents
    **Yes, as an adventurer spell components are considered a work expense for tax purposes
    ***The charred remains of a tavern are not spell components
    ****Then you should have gotten insurance!
    *****Clerics still have to pay taxes, this is Faerun, not America
    ******Evasion does not work on taxes
    *******Neither does dodge
    ********Oh NOW you want to put simplicity over realism
    Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job

    Lots of people seem to use blue for sarcasm, I decided I should too

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    Nitpick: I believe you'll find that only our heads explode. Page 43 of Book of Pedantic Forumites, if memory serves.
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  4. - Top - End - #1474
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    * Cannot argue that if death isn't a certainty in this world, neither should be taxes.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  5. - Top - End - #1475
    Orc in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    * Cannot argue that if death isn't a certainty in this world, neither should be taxes.
    Well, I already said that spell components are tax deductible, so taxes aren't a certainty if you are undoing death.
    Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job

    Lots of people seem to use blue for sarcasm, I decided I should too

    Quote Originally Posted by nabcif View Post
    Nitpick: I believe you'll find that only our heads explode. Page 43 of Book of Pedantic Forumites, if memory serves.
    Thank you to Linkele for creating my avatar!

  6. - Top - End - #1476
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by John Campbell View Post
    * When we totally fail to follow the GM's incoherent alleged plot, we should not default to going through the Heroes & Villains books and taking down everyone whose name is in red in alphabetical order.
    ... I can see that ending poorly, considering how early you'd hit the likes of Amazo, Brainiac, Circe, Darkseid, and Eclipso...

    * Improved Tax Evasion still isn't a feat.
    ** And no, the correct answer isn't to use Mass Polymorph to turn all your taxable assets temporarily into spell components, either.

  7. - Top - End - #1477
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    * I an banned from researching spells for the sole propose of making my possessions tax deductible.
    ** There is no Greater Tax Ward spell.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  8. - Top - End - #1478
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    I'm surprised no one has ever made a Tax Collector Inevitable. Or Would that just fall under Kolyaruts?

    * May not throw tax collector Inevitables at the party.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toby Frost
    `This is just the beginning, Citizens! Today we have boiled a pot who's steam shall be seen across the entire galaxy. The Tea Must Flow, and it shall! The banner of the British Space Empire will be unfurled across a thousand worlds, carried forth by the citizens of Urn, and before them the Tea shall flow like a steaming brown river of shi-*cough*- shimmering moral fibre!`

  9. - Top - End - #1479
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    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Saintheart View Post
    * Ranks in Profession (Rebel) and Perform (Bagpipes) do not mean I am playing outlawed tunes upon outlawed pipes.
    But it should

  10. - Top - End - #1480
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    * Cannot argue that if death isn't a certainty in this world, neither should be taxes.
    Due to the sudden (and unintentional, I promise) turn that I have accidentally inspired in the thread, I suggest a modified version of this as the next title.

    Maybe:
    Just Because Death isn't a Certainty, it Doesn't Mean that Taxes aren't
    or
    Raise Dead Doesn't Make Taxes Uncertain as Well
    Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job

    Lots of people seem to use blue for sarcasm, I decided I should too

    Quote Originally Posted by nabcif View Post
    Nitpick: I believe you'll find that only our heads explode. Page 43 of Book of Pedantic Forumites, if memory serves.
    Thank you to Linkele for creating my avatar!

  11. - Top - End - #1481
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    ... I can see that ending poorly, considering how early you'd hit the likes of Amazo, Brainiac, Circe, Darkseid, and Eclipso...
    We'd actually destroyed Brainiac in an earlier encounter, due largely to our team munchkin using his Fast Talk (GM) skill. Darkseid was AWOL at that point (along with the rest of Apokolips (who I can't take seriously until they learn to spell)) due to something related to the incoherent plot that we never did figure out. There were others that the GM ruled to not be around yet, or already in custody for one reason or another. And some where we went, "They're not really all that bad, just misunderstood. Let's get them some therapy and offer them a job doing something more beneficial all around than threatening humanity."

    And, yeah, there were a few we looked at the entry, went, "Yeah, no, maybe if we gain a half-dozen PLs or so." Amazo was one of those.

    But there were a lot of low-to-mid-tier villains where we just gated in, brutally owned them, and delivered them to whatever relevant authorities, leaving them shocked and dazed, with no clue who we were or what they did to get on our bad side.
    Play your character, not your alignment.

  12. - Top - End - #1482
    Dwarf in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    * I may not play a ninja in Renaissance Italy just because there was an historical diplomatic mission from Japan to Italy.

    ** I may not play a rapier wielding swashbuckler in late Muromachi era Japan (immediately prior to Edo era) just because there were a few Europeans allowed in Japan at that time.

  13. - Top - End - #1483
    Ogre in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    *May not replace searching traps by pointing at the thing to check and then saying dramatically "it is trapped!"
    **Even if it have a near 100% success rate unlike searching for traps with a skill.
    ***I may not say "this door is very very trapped" if it successfully dodged the ranged touch attack of being pointed at.
    ****I may not replace spot and listen checks to check if there is people following my team by saying "We are followed" as much often as possible and then adding stuff like "those spys are surely sneaky" or "that assassin is really patient for attacking us when we stop being wary"
    *****Even if it have a 100% success rate.

  14. - Top - End - #1484
    Orc in the Playground
     
    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    In our Iron Kingdoms game:

    * I am no longer allowed to play a pistoleer
    ** I certainly am not allowed to say I'm just another anonymous gobber when I openly carry six pistols
    *** Especially since one is an anti-warjack pistol that fires shells that explode in a radius almost exactly equal to its range, and two more are quad-irons
    **** And two of the others are the nice expensive guns that approximate autofire
    ***** I am most definitely not allowed to treat them like Reaper's drop shotguns
    ****** And I will not be allowed to take the feat that lets me boost my attack/damage rolls on the first round on enemies who haven't gone yet, while having the best initiative in the group
    ******* And I am encouraged to leave one or two enemies for the rest of the party to kill

  15. - Top - End - #1485
    Halfling in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    I am not allowed to make shaggy from scooby doo into a DND character
    *Even if he's a ranger with a dog animal companion
    **Or a monk who constantly runs
    ***Or a monk/Ranger multiclass who has a dog companion and is an absolute coward
    ****Shaggy is not allowed to punch out the dragon
    *****Shaggy is not allowed to pull of fist of the north star stuff
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    If you or a loved one suffer from CBD, Cynnirjetyxcks may be right for you. Cynnirjetyxcks is a once per long rest medication proven to lessen, or even completely negate, the symptoms of CBD. With Cynnirjetyxcks, you no longer have to feel the urge to suddenly Sneak Attack your close friends.
    Side effects of Cynnirjetyxcks include (Long ass list)
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  16. - Top - End - #1486
    Ettin in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Shulk View Post
    *****Shaggy is not allowed to pull of fist of the north star stuff
    ******Even though it is somewhat "canon"
    Quote Originally Posted by Psyren View Post
    "Dammit man, I said to use the MORALLY GREY flaming catapults!"
    Kriv, the Boastful - Dragonborn Fighter//Bard - Calm before the Storm
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  17. - Top - End - #1487
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    Debatra's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Saying "This campaign is now on rails" when the party boards a train was funny the first time.
    * It was even kind of funny the second time.
    ** It was not funny the third time.
    *** Or the fourth.
    **** It won't be funny the fifth time. Please stop.
    Kaedanis Pyran, tai faernae.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
    Roland just endorsed a crack pairing?


    Did... did we break the universe?
    Quote Originally Posted by SassyQuatch View Post
    It is a major flaw in the game. Destroy a moon? Sure. Talk to somebody a hundred miles away, that's going to be difficult.
    Quote Originally Posted by Rizban View Post
    Realistically speaking... D&D style magic doesn't exist, so... let's ignore reality.

  18. - Top - End - #1488
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    HalflingPirate

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    * I may not fireball the rogue just because they are using a potion of invisibility and I have no way of knowing they're standing next to the enemies.
    ** I may especially not do it a second time after knocking them down to 4 hp.
    *** No, killing the rogue is not justified just because they occasionally lied to the party.
    Quote Originally Posted by Coffee_Dragon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Millstone85 View Post
    To be overly precise, you roll 1d20+0+2.
    I usually add +0+0+0 to account for wind speed, lunar precession and the feeble attempts of jungle cults to curse the party from the other side of the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by mephnick View Post
    Because stormin' through the forest, movin' rocks, bashin' doors and killin' monsters is true D&D.

    Leave that social and political **** to Game of Thrones and the Five Rings.

  19. - Top - End - #1489
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    RedWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    * If enough NPCs are introduced in a brief span of time that I, the GM, have trouble remembering their names, there's a problem.

    * If I can get my players nervous simply by repeatedly describing a string of shopkeepers as all wearing the exact same shade of blue, I probably shouldn't be our group's first pick to run an action-comedy campaign.
    ** Especially if our last campaign had more mundane horror elements like tomb-raiding and fighting off hordes of mindless skeletons.
    *** If I'm managing to psych out the table's resident Cthulhu-horror specialist, we should probably consider re-orienting our group's respective roles.
    My Homebrew
    Healer: Pathfinder remake of the 3.5 class of the same name. Light, restoration, and more positive energy effects than you can shake a cleric at.

  20. - Top - End - #1490
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    About ten posts left, and apparently 'A Thousand Yard Stare is not Permission' is one character too long for the thread subtitle, anybody got a quick idea for the thread name?

    'A Thousand Yard Stare is not Approval' does fit, for the record.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  21. - Top - End - #1491
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    About ten posts left, and apparently 'A Thousand Yard Stare is not Permission' is one character too long for the thread subtitle, anybody got a quick idea for the thread name?

    'A Thousand Yard Stare is not Approval' does fit, for the record.
    "A Thousand Yard Stare Isn't Permission"?
    Last edited by Tohron; 2018-11-14 at 09:23 AM.

  22. - Top - End - #1492
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Tohron View Post
    "A Thousand Yard Stare Isn't Permission"?
    Works well enough.

    *May not link to the new thread.
    ** No, not even if I made it (again).

    EDIT: wait, that explains the problem.
    Last edited by Anonymouswizard; 2018-11-14 at 09:35 AM.
    Snazzy avatar (now back! ) by Honest Tiefling.

    RIP Laser-Snail, may you live on in our hearts forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

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