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  1. - Top - End - #151
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *May not use Dimension Door to flee combat by saying "I holler "Run for your lives!" and cast "NOPE" to do a leave 500 feet thataway."
    **Especially not in the first round of combat.
    ***Especially not if I'm three levels ahead of more than half the party.
    ****Stuff like this is not why I'm three levels ahead of the party.

    *Not allowed to abuse raise dead and human sacrifice powers together.
    **May not do so in the cabal filled with people obsessed with dying and coming back to life.
    ***One major charge is worth one zombie army; any plan that involves assembling over a hundred of them is right out.
    ****No longer allowed to play a cleric.
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  2. - Top - End - #152
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    ClericGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    *cannot engant the frag grenade with seeking anymore.
    ** giving it returning will not give you infinite grenades and the idea may blow up in my face.


  3. - Top - End - #153
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    * There is a difference between stealth and nobody being able to describe me. I should learn the difference.
    ** I should not be the number one criminal in the land while still being lawful neutral.
    *** May no longer religiously follow contracts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  4. - Top - End - #154
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    *Bringing enough dynamite and nitroglycerin to level the town to a showdown at high noon is bad form.
    **I am now banned from purchasing, inventing, making, or otherwise acquiring explosives in six different RPGs (and multiple editions therein, for some of them).
    ***I am preemptively banned from purchasing, inventing, making, or otherwise acquiring explosives in any other RPG, too.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
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  5. - Top - End - #155
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    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *Bringing enough dynamite and nitroglycerin to level the town to a showdown at high noon is bad form.
    **I am now banned from purchasing, inventing, making, or otherwise acquiring explosives in six different RPGs (and multiple editions therein, for some of them).
    ***I am preemptively banned from purchasing, inventing, making, or otherwise acquiring explosives in any other RPG, too.
    Sounds like someone follows the Tao of Vaarsuvius a bit too well.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  6. - Top - End - #156
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    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Sounds like someone follows the Tao of Vaarsuvius a bit too well.
    I don't understand V's comment in the very last panel. Why would a factually-accurate statement be "wrong"...?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  7. - Top - End - #157
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *Bringing enough dynamite and nitroglycerin to level the town to a showdown at high noon is bad form.
    **I am now banned from purchasing, inventing, making, or otherwise acquiring explosives in six different RPGs (and multiple editions therein, for some of them).
    ***I am preemptively banned from purchasing, inventing, making, or otherwise acquiring explosives in any other RPG, too.
    *not allowed to complain that the dm is "beating me with the boring-stick".
    **there is no such thing as a "boring stick".
    *** "EEEEEEEDWAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!" is not a yardstick for "plot derailment efficiency", despite precedent.
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  8. - Top - End - #158
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    NinjaGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    * [D&D 3.5] When told to build a 15th level character who is supposed to be a legendary hero put in stasis who killed dragons to save the world, I should not build "the wielder of the ugly stick." The Ugly stick in this case was a Wand of Maximized Ego Whip (8 Charisma Damage in a Ray. Good luck mister Touch AC 8 Dragon. )
    * [D&D 3.5] Neither should it be the wielder of the "Clumsy stick". (Same, but with Dexterity damage.)
    * [D&D 3.5] "Will Save DC 32 or take 270 Untyped Telepathic Damage." Is not a line the GM ever expects to hear from a player, despite his level.
    * [D&D 3.5] No longer allowed to be Psionic.

  9. - Top - End - #159
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    Devil

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *Bringing enough dynamite and nitroglycerin to level the town to a showdown at high noon is bad form.
    **I am now banned from purchasing, inventing, making, or otherwise acquiring explosives in six different RPGs (and multiple editions therein, for some of them).
    ***I am preemptively banned from purchasing, inventing, making, or otherwise acquiring explosives in any other RPG, too.
    *If one of my players does this I am not allowed to make them roll to not set off the nitroglycerin
    **Not allowed to make the DC 23 when they have 16 Dex

    That was good TPK, well other than the rogue surviving, but otherwise a good TPK.

  10. - Top - End - #160
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    *In a space-western, my response to the saloon hold up that starts the game should not be to stand up from the table, hold out a huge bottle of nitroglycerine, and tell the criminals that if they don't put their guns down I'll blow the **** out of the entire bar.
    **Especially not if I'm the town doctor.
    ***The players are not all allowed to turn on each other withing minutes of the game starting.
    ****The town sheriff and the town doctor are not to conspire with each other to drive the alien who owns the bar out of town into the wilderness to die by convincing him that assassins are after him, then plan to take the bar and sell it for profit.
    *****They can not quickly switch to an insurance scheme when that falls through, using the doctor's nitroglycerine.
    ******The Sherrif can't up and kill people--especially the guy who drank the nitroglycerine thinking it was a shot of whiskey.
    *******I can't forget what scheme the town lawyers were planning against us.
    ********We can not turn the space-western into a space mafia story.

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  11. - Top - End - #161
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    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    My wizard may not raise Faerun to the technological level of Eberron overnight.

    I may not thwart the BBEG's carefully crafted manipulations with a nat. 20 on my insight check.

    Maxwells Silver Hammer is not a magic item. Even if it was, I cannot sneak attack with it. Especially not while singing the song.Especially not while singing it in real life.

    My ban on music systems is now extended to one week before a session. Especially if I am playing a bard.

    Bards and Wizards are banned for me. Sorcerers and Warlocks are discouraged.
    My DM allows UA and some homebrews, but not SCAG or EE.

  12. - Top - End - #162
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    Anonymouswizard's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    * Despite mythological precedence my dwarf cannot be the most powerful wizard in the group.

    * Even if they're out of earshot, may not call them 'The Amoral Folk'.
    ** I shall not insult the Fair Folk, because they are quick to anger and need a new rug.
    *** May no longer base a scheme on insulting the Fair Folk.
    **** May most certainly not come out of that plan successful with all my body parts and mental capabilities.
    Last edited by Anonymouswizard; 2017-05-31 at 09:36 AM.

  13. - Top - End - #163
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    GnomeWizardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    * Even if they're out of earshot, may not call them 'The Amoral Folk'.
    ** I shall not insult the Fair Folk, because they are quick to anger and need a new rug.
    *** May no longer base a scheme on insulting the Fair Folk.
    **** May most certainly not come out of that plan successful with all my body parts and mental capabilities.
    May not create a plan in the same vein that involves using subtle spell, vicious mockery, and awakened mind to telepathically genocide the Elves completely untraceably.
    As a DM, may not have the BBEG do the same for Gnomes, even if the players deserve it.
    My DM allows UA and some homebrews, but not SCAG or EE.

  14. - Top - End - #164
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    NinjaGirl

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    * Despite mythological precedence my dwarf cannot be the most powerful wizard in the group.

    * Even if they're out of earshot, may not call them 'The Amoral Folk'.
    ** I shall not insult the Fair Folk, because they are quick to anger and need a new rug.
    *** May no longer base a scheme on insulting the Fair Folk.
    **** May most certainly not come out of that plan successful with all my body parts and mental capabilities.
    * This strategy is especially frowned upon in Changeling: The Lost.
    * Surviving it is even more frowned upon. But just as impressive.
    * If I roll 14 successes on a Stealth check again, the GM is justified in declaring that I have won the Hunt (My Keeper was the Hunter and I was his declared prey) and am now a True Fae. o.o'

  15. - Top - End - #165
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    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    *May not TPK the party with three Kobolds. Again.
    **Especially after adjusting the encounter difficulty to below their Average Party Level and using average damage (without increases for the half-dozen crits I rolled in the encounter) because I TPK'd a party there before.
    ***May not claim it's not my fault my dice hate player characters with a fierce and fiery passion.
    ****It is my fault, somehow, even with open rolls and using a dice cup.
    *****It is also my fault if the players' dice hate them.


    This was an encounter most parties can take just fine, unless they get an improbably-bad set of dice rolls. They got an improbably-bad set of dice rolls. Twice.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  16. - Top - End - #166
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    may not convince the party to attack rocks while some giant evil entity is about to enter our plane of existence and kill everyone just so that I have time to get back my precious weapon

  17. - Top - End - #167
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    Daemon

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *May not TPK the party with three Kobolds. Again.
    **Especially after adjusting the encounter difficulty to below their Average Party Level and using average damage (without increases for the half-dozen crits I rolled in the encounter) because I TPK'd a party there before.
    ***May not claim it's not my fault my dice hate player characters with a fierce and fiery passion.
    ****It is my fault, somehow, even with open rolls and using a dice cup.
    *****It is also my fault if the players' dice hate them.


    This was an encounter most parties can take just fine, unless they get an improbably-bad set of dice rolls. They got an improbably-bad set of dice rolls. Twice.
    Related (but opposite):
    * I may not plan encounters taking into account my unusually empathetic dice and then use someone else's dice.
    **No really, my dice like my players way too much.
    ***As in, rolling for enemies (saves or attacks) I either roll crap to hit/save or roll crap for damage.
    **My dice also have a comedian's sense of timing and a nasty sense of humor.
    ***Case in point: Fighter goes down, fails one death save. Cleric (metagaming that he has another round to do anything about the fighter) spends a round berating the wizard for being trigger happy. Fighter (before rolling his next death save) says: Hope I don't crit fail. Dice: Natural 1. Dead. First combat of the first session of the campaign.
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  18. - Top - End - #168
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    * Despite what the rules say I cannot pop off to Andromeda with the basic teleportation spell.
    ** Cannot point out that, as long as I can get a Spaceship less than three meters in diameter, I don't care if the portal can appear 500 yards from my chosen destination.
    *** Cannot wonder why people in this setting even use FTL drives, when portals are faster and take little power.
    **** Insanity is not a decent trade for getting to another planet, no matter what I say.

    Eldritch Skies is weird, there's no reason for the FTL drive other than 'science fiction settings have FTL drives', the setting would work just as well if ships used an enhanced version of the Gateway spell.
    Last edited by Anonymouswizard; 2017-06-01 at 06:13 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  19. - Top - End - #169
    Firbolg in the Playground
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    * Despite what the rules say I cannot pop off to Andromeda with the basic teleportation spell.
    ** Cannot point out that, as long as I can get a Spaceship less than three meters in diameter, I don't care if the portal can appear 500 yards from my chosen destination.
    *** Cannot wonder why people in this setting even use FTL drives, when portals are faster and take little power.
    **** Insanity is not a decent trade for getting to another planet, no matter what I say.

    Eldritch Skies is weird, there's no reason for the FTL drive other than 'science fiction settings have FTL drives', the setting would work just as well if ships used an enhanced version of the Gateway spell.
    Freight transport, transport for people who don't trust eldritch portals beyond comprehension, shipping things that make portals unstable, doesn't require much in the way of insane wizard pilots...

    I mean, why do we ever ship things by boat nowadays, when we can ship things by plane?
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  20. - Top - End - #170
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Fable Wright View Post
    I mean, why do we ever ship things by boat nowadays, when we can ship things by plane?
    Even though planes are faster, the ship will have still transported more cargo from A to B across an ocean in one pass than a plane traveling the same route back and forth several times. If I'm reading that post correctly, seems to be a similar case where the FTL drive is gonna still be used because one huge ship with a FTL drive is still more reliable than a portal through the heck dimension.


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  21. - Top - End - #171
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Fable Wright View Post
    Freight transport, transport for people who don't trust eldritch portals beyond comprehension, shipping things that make portals unstable, doesn't require much in the way of insane wizard pilots...

    I mean, why do we ever ship things by boat nowadays, when we can ship things by plane?
    Eh, it's not like you get much less hyperspace exposure from FTL, it's a level one event compared to a level two. Freight transport makes little sense actually, once you factor in surface to orbit and orbit to surface you can probably ferry anything smaller than three yards across through a gateway faster than with a ship (even taking into account the 500 yard inaccuracy at your end point). Most of the annoying limitations can be got around by using paired gateways, but those have their own problems.

    For the insane wizard pilots, that makes sense, although the Dragonfly Drive causes manes anyway. I'm not sure there's anything that destabilises a gateway, although I don't have all the resources for the song.

    (For the record, I was talking from a setting design perspective, the only drawback given to gateways is a lack of size [fixed three yards or one to five yards in my version, which is the Savage Worlds conversion], why have the FTL drive when ships could produce scaled up technosorcerous gateways? Maybe I'm just too focused on the fact that the game has relatively easy teleportation magic with no range limit)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  22. - Top - End - #172
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    (For the record, I was talking from a setting design perspective, the only drawback given to gateways is a lack of size [fixed three yards or one to five yards in my version, which is the Savage Worlds conversion], why have the FTL drive when ships could produce scaled up technosorcerous gateways? Maybe I'm just too focused on the fact that the game has relatively easy teleportation magic with no range limit)
    Maybe they can't produce technosorcerous gateways. Yog-Sothoth does not allow it, or whatever.

    You have FTL because, as Digo and I said, throughput is good. Heck, look at Google. When they need to transfer huge amounts of data over distance, they don't use the internet for near-instantaneous delivery, they hire a trucker to get the data where it needs to go. It just takes so much less time and resources that way. People don't use portals for everything the same reason why we still have mail trucks, rather than Amazon drones delivering all of our mail and packages to everyone.
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  23. - Top - End - #173
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    *May never open a portal to the core of a neutron star to demonstrate why easy dimensional gateways should be banned.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  24. - Top - End - #174
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Fable Wright View Post
    Maybe they can't produce technosorcerous gateways. Yog-Sothoth does not allow it, or whatever.

    You have FTL because, as Digo and I said, throughput is good. Heck, look at Google. When they need to transfer huge amounts of data over distance, they don't use the internet for near-instantaneous delivery, they hire a trucker to get the data where it needs to go. It just takes so much less time and resources that way. People don't use portals for everything the same reason why we still have mail trucks, rather than Amazon drones delivering all of our mail and packages to everyone.
    Part of my problem is that technosorcerous gateways are a thing anyway. Relatively reliable although you can't ​make an accurate Stargate network.

    As it is, I'm just going to hostile that the dragonfly drive us a variant of gateways instead, and let people run their versions how they want.

    As I've said to me it's different, but I understand why people might not agree. Maybe I've just got the Commonwealth Saga on my mind

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    *May never open a portal to the core of a neutron star to demonstrate why easy dimensional gateways should be banned.
    Useful as a disposal system, unfortunately the game doesn't specify if gravity reaches through, only solids get through though (or things in solid containers)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zelphas View Post
    So here I am, trapped in my laboratory, trying to create a Mechabeast that's powerful enough to take down the howling horde outside my door, but also won't join them once it realizes what I've done...twentieth time's the charm, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Raziere View Post
    How about a Jovian Uplift stuck in a Case morph? it makes so little sense.

  25. - Top - End - #175
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    *must not assume my wife is OK fighting giant spiders under any circumstances. Descriptions alone can cause her anxiety.
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  26. - Top - End - #176
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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    **May no longer assume the above poster was speaking of fighting giant spiders in real life.

  27. - Top - End - #177
    Troll in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Part of my problem is that technosorcerous gateways are a thing anyway. Relatively reliable although you can't ​make an accurate Stargate network.

    As it is, I'm just going to hostile that the dragonfly drive us a variant of gateways instead, and let people run their versions how they want.

    As I've said to me it's different, but I understand why people might not agree. Maybe I've just got the Commonwealth Saga on my mind



    Useful as a disposal system, unfortunately the game doesn't specify if gravity reaches through, only solids get through though (or things in solid containers)
    If you suddenly opened part of a neutron star's core to an area of massively-lower pressure along a single plane and from only one side, would gravity continue to hold it firmly on its own side of the portal, or would it fountain through like water would if you'd opened one end of the portal at the bottom of the ocean?
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    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  28. - Top - End - #178
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    2D8HP's Avatar

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by JAL_1138 View Post
    ...it fountain through like water would if you'd opened one end of the portal at the bottom of the ocean?

    Again with the ocean fear JAL!


  29. - Top - End - #179
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    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
    Again with the ocean fear JAL!

    Well yes. Water is always bad. The only safe(ish) water is water that's been created by a Cleric via Create Or Destroy Water or Create Food And Water, then subsequently purified magically with Purify Food And Drink—and then boiled, to be on the safe side. You might also want to try to target it with a cantrip that can only target a creature, just to be absolutely sure it's not an elemental or water weird or crystal ooze or something.

    EDIT: My goodness, I almost forgot. Prod it with a 10ft pole and observe the effects thereof to make sure it isn't secretly acid or something, then purify it again (in case you might've inadvertently introduced some contaminant or other via the 10ft pole).

    Even then, you can still drown from it if it goes down the wrong pipe, so it's not really "safe"...
    Last edited by JAL_1138; 2017-06-03 at 06:18 AM. Reason: fixed typos
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    Quote Originally Posted by Safety Sword View Post
    JAL_1138: Founding Member of the Paranoid Adventurer's Guild.
    Quote Originally Posted by TeChameleon View Post
    - If it's something mortals were not meant to know, I've already found six different ways to blow myself and/or someone else up with it.
    Gnomish proverb


    I use blue text for silliness and/or sarcasm. Do not take anything I say in blue text seriously, except for this sentence and the one preceding it.

  30. - Top - End - #180
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    Devil

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    Default Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

    *May not use JAL's posts for trap ideas

    EDIT:
    *No matter how clever we think we are, we are not allowed to make a system that allows the characters inside D&D to play D&D.
    **We are not allowed to further this by allowing D&D characters to play D&D characters playing D&D characters.
    ***We are not allowed to take this to its logical extreme by having every player DMing at once.
    Last edited by Alias Unknown; 2017-06-03 at 06:19 AM.

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