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  1. - Top - End - #1171
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "Villain kidnaps dragon, villain ransoms dragon for a bigger dragon, dragon kidnaps hero, princess is actually another dragon, princess kills dragon, princess saves hero."
    Wow, my brain had to sit down a moment to parse that amazing crazy train plot.


    Sniper: “Sleeping in the bathroom, next to a corpse that refuses to decay, wasn't necessarily on my bucket list.”

    Love: “I've got all four legs.”
    Rose: “Over-achiever.”
    Sniper: “Technically, she has-- what? Thirty-two legs?”
    Love: “I can control up to twelve bodies. I'm a little shy of fifty legs. My question is why is Star only wearing two socks while I'm wearing 48?”
    Sniper: "Because, apparently, you're more leggy.”

    Rose: “She’s got too many eyes and I think we should shave the potato.”

    Sniper: “Hey, bulkhead. Now that you're done warming up your mare, get in here before breakfast gets cold.”
    Brazen: “Right... Right... Getting up... Probably pissed... Wake up Seafire... We need to get presentable before the others send out a search party.”
    Seafire: (throws pillow) “"Buck you... Oh... wait, I already did.”

    Love: “Does this look infected to you?”

    Rose: “I’m checking to ensure Cabal is still a pony. Because if this is a changeling, then he's already been replaced and Rose is gonna smack a filly.”
    Love: “I suppose there isn't any harm in checking as long as Rose doesn't start a riot. Unexpected riots aren't a good thing!”
    Sniper: “Now watch as Cabal just has a bad case of halitosis or something.”
    Rose: “I’m more than happy to accept that result. If the anticipation was any more stressed, I’d give birth to a litter of kittens.”

    Chrysalis: “As for working together, I stand behind the phrase that 'none of us are as stupid as all of us together'. If we did this by committee, we’d take a year to decide anything. So sit down. Do as you're told. And don't you dare to question me again!
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  2. - Top - End - #1172
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Sajiri's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Ruya: You wouldn't turn on me? Abandon me?
    Shirokumo: What?! No! What the f*** is going on here?
    Ruya: You could have left me in Llumala after you were revived, you didnt need me to carry you through the light anymore. You don't regret that?
    Shirokumo: Yeah
    Ruya: ....
    Shirokumo: You make me f***ing walk everywhere now.

    The very serious conversations when a (sort of) arranged marriage between a good and an evil character happens.
    Last edited by Sajiri; 2018-07-13 at 11:11 AM.

    3DS friend code: 0748-2783-1667
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  3. - Top - End - #1173
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    SamuraiGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Danger Noodle (Yes that is the character's name): "The goblins are obsessed with lint because they worship the god of lint."
    Magus: "I concur, that makes sense"
    Xaran (Paladin): "There is no goblin god of lint."
    Danger Noodle: "Not yet, I will become the god of lint."
    Magus: "That is simultaneously the most and least ambitious thing I have ever heard."

  4. - Top - End - #1174
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "You may have adopted two harpies and a demon-possessed human girl, but my wife AND daughter will both be twice my size in a few years. Also my grandpa was a five headed snake who asked me to kill him just so I could inherit his cult. I think my family is a bit more messed up than youts."
    Last edited by Gallade; 2018-07-13 at 02:11 PM.

  5. - Top - End - #1175
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "You said the tree has a face, is it a human face like Thomas the tank engine?"

  6. - Top - End - #1176
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Do you think Sambethe the oracle knew we were going to kill everyone in the Holy Land and tried to warn the others, but they didn't believe her?"
    "What if before we killed them they thought to themselves: 'Sambethe once told me the Knot was gonna roll me'?"

  7. - Top - End - #1177
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Drex: "Good news: No sign of strep throat. Bad news: Drex not know why your ponish sounds like tiny blue fish speaking whale."
    ???: "I imagine that would be because of the tongue depressor."
    Drex: "Oh, yeah. Drex forget."

    Love: "Thanks Doc. I like you."
    Drex: "Drex raptor, not boat mooring point."
    Love: "I meant doctor."
    Drex: "Drex not actually doctor. Colleges not understand accelerated tissue growth, due to genetic modification and cloning practices, should create exemption to age requirements."

    Discord: *splits a wall in two to make a door and walks in like he owns the place* "Oh good! Superheroes. Just the sort of ponies I need."
    Love: "Thanks for the entrance! It really opened up the room!"

    Radiance: "He seems like prime villain material to me."
    Matter-horn: "As long as he doesn't steal any major landmarks during his visit, we'll be alright."

    Fluttershy: "Oh my! This isn't my pantry."
    Radiance: "This is an active portal between dimensions? Astounding! It's so... so... sublime compared to most existing Jump Tech. Wait, wait, wait. Did you say your pantry​?"
    Fluttershy: "Yes? I...I think so. I was looking for, um, sugar cubes. I'm sorry, should I leave?"

    Discord: *falls over laughter* "Practical applications?"

    Love: "Oh, no. My only way home has disappeared. I guess I'll just have to stay on this exciting new world, full of mystery and adventure for a while longer. I was so ready to leave and forgo all the exploring that has my heart pounding!"
    <BEAT>
    Love: "Let's have tea! Tea does really, truly sounds lovely!"

    Matter-Horn: "I am the Masked Matter-horn. The dinosaur tormenting gold coins in the corner is Drex--"
    Drex: *shouting over the sounds of screaming* "Drex playing with new friends, not tormenting!"

  8. - Top - End - #1178
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "You may have adopted two harpies and a demon-possessed human girl, but my wife AND daughter will both be twice my size in a few years."
    Are they dragons?


    Nick: "Did this guy have an allergic reaction to police brutality?"

    GM: "The ADM system doesn't swipe like Tinder."
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2018-07-15 at 12:03 PM.
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  9. - Top - End - #1179
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Are they dragons?
    Nope, giantborn Tritons.




    "...and of course with the machine being built around a tiny rift to the Negative Energy Plane it's also a handy garbage disposal solution."

  10. - Top - End - #1180
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    Nope, giantborn Tritons.
    Well that's efficient.


    GM: “Do you get the impression Chrysalis is a mite peeved right now?”
    Rose: “Like how cancer is a 'small' health problem?”
    Sniper: “Brought about by the ever-present radiation of this Fallout-knockoff.”

    Rose: “At least I made it clear I was sticking my hoof in the electrical socket.”

    Rose: “If I were Wildcat, I'd be perfectly in my right to shove a Big Chicken Dinner in Rose's face.”

    Love: “Our mission objective is to capture [Hyper Thought]. I understand Rose wants him dead (and doesn't mind him suffering) though.”
    Rose: “Point of correction for the record—I don’t want Hyper Thought dead. I just wouldn't mind if someone else kills him. It's more apathy and less anger.”

    Love: “Would bugbutt want some muffins?”
    Rose: “Eww, ours are laced with tear gas.”
    Love: “We can ask cabal about the gas. If it's safe enough, Love will volunteer to eat one of the muffins!”
    Rose: “I can think of several reasons why you shouldn't eat tear gas.”

    Rose: “Bah, I'm a doctor, not a pencil-pusher.”

    Love: “My delusions are real! I know it!”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  11. - Top - End - #1181
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    SwashbucklerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    DM: It does not acknowledge your pleads for a parley.
    Player: What!? Why not!?
    DM: Well, it's a bed; and beds don't talk.
    Last edited by ElChad; 2018-07-18 at 10:11 AM.

  12. - Top - End - #1182
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Necroticplague's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "...and of course with the machine being built around a tiny rift to the Negative Energy Plane it's also a handy garbage disposal solution."
    that’s practically a third rule of fantasy engineering: ‘anything that utterly destroys everything that contacts it will inevitably get used as garbage disposal. If it happens to do anything useful as a byproduct, that’s just a bonus.’

    Unrelated quote:
    “When I said I had no further intent to study war anymore, it was for the same reason a PhD would stop studying, not for a lack of capability. So if you try anything like that again, I will write my damned dissertation on war on your ***”
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

  13. - Top - End - #1183
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Pinkie: "ATTENTION EVERYPONY! THIS DONKEY IS REALLY BALD!!"
    Wildcat: “I am not! I shave my mane, as per military tradition. An old one, but still!”
    Sniper: *Cannot help but privately note the Commander established himself as a donkey*

    Rose: “Good mare! You're doing great on this! Really need to push Love on top of wasteland ruffians. She knows how to work them.”
    George Takei: “Oh myyyy.”
    Rose: “Uh... wow, that was... not intentional.”

    Sniper: “Love crit a magic check. All fear her EXPLOSIVE DEATH PUDDING!”

    Love: “We really could use Twilight's magic rod.”
    Rose: *Sees the low-hanging fruit - doesn't reach for it*

    GM: “Hey now, she has a very serious disease. Protagonistism. She does reckless things, has prescience about what's about to happen, and doesn't remember her life before the point she woke up in a doctor's office. I'm afraid it's terminal.”

    GM: (impersonating Rose) “I tire of this. OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”

    Rose: “it's time to ram those walls with the battering ram of friendship! If she explodes, then she explodes.”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  14. - Top - End - #1184
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    Coventry's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Symeon (OOC): Hah! The gnome can drink the brawler under the table!
    Milah (OOC): Yeah! He starts there!
    Symeon (OOC): ... yep. Walked into that!
    Milah (OOC): No! Under!

    Killian: Is the whole world on acid now?? Because I swear I didn't take anything!

    Killian: I'm not an adult. I'm just old enough to drink.

    Killian: Do you like my red shoes? *kicks NPC* They used to be white!

    Killian: Great. I got my *** kicked by a door!

  15. - Top - End - #1185
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    TurboGhast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Viet: I search the cells for Zana.
    DM: Who is that again?
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  16. - Top - End - #1186
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Discord: "Oh no! Where did Discord go? I mean, he can't be here! I'm wearing a mask."

    Discord: "And if we're going in for superhero names, dibs on 'Sheogorath'!"

    Love: "Mwhaha. They're going to positively explode when they feel me discovering the internet!"

    Matter-Horn: "And, Drex, of you're not going to join us, remember that there are no fireballs allowed in the lab-- not even if you're playing Godzilla."

    Matter-Horn: "It's nothing too special. We were working on a science fair project in my father's lab when a stray bolt of lightning hit my younger brother's plaster volcano. The explosion threw me into a shelf of chemicals. The chemical bath brought out some latent unicorn DNA and here I am."

    Fluttershy: The Elements of Harmony are...or they were, artifacts that Celestia and Luna used to defend Equestria. They take the power of our friendship and, um, Rainbow Dash calls it a 'Rainbow Death-Beam of Awesomeness', but it's never killed anypony! It purified Princess Luna, sent Tirek back to his prison, and..." She glances over at Discord. "Turned Discord into a statue."
    Discord: "A thousand years as a garden gnome gave me plenty of time to practice my comedy routine,"

    Matter-horn: To my knowledge, I'm the only pegasus/unicorn hybrid there is (if that's what you're asking). Although, I'm sure there's a mad scientist or somesuch out there trying to create one. They always seem to be up to something insane such as that.

    Humdrum: "So 'Celestia' is bour yoss? Is she the colice pommissioner?"

  17. - Top - End - #1187
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "...You mass produced hundreds of clones, each, of a dozen superhumans so that you could harvest their hormones to make drugs? How are you a Superhero again?"
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  18. - Top - End - #1188
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    Necroticplague's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    GM: Your philandering has apparently gone from merely being a personal problem to being a pressing theological problem.
    Gene: I don't care if it's gonna be somewhat misleading, that's gonna be going on my resume.
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

  19. - Top - End - #1189
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Sniper: “I don't think Chrysalis would consider Roser her primary care physician any more. So Rose doesn't care about HIPAA laws?”
    Rose: “Roser. More than Rose! Soon to become Rosest! …sorry, got a floor company replacing carpets here at the office and the glue fumes have me in a weird mood.”
    Sniper: “Do the evolution levels correspond to her arrogance level?”
    Rose: “Arrogance, spellcasting, and the amount of metal in her body. You get all three!! Order now and we'll throw in a set of Zebra monk knives at no extra cost!”
    Sniper: “This whole In-App Purchasing thing has gotten out of control.”

    Sniper: “On another note, if everyone will permit me a moment of curiosity, what would you say Sniper's core motivation used to be Pre-Rem?”
    GM: “I think it was ‘find something to do other than give into my urges and be a mass murderer.’”

    Rose: “So, I've come to learn that those dinosaur fossils at the Canterlot Museum of History are all replicas.”
    Red Tape: “Doing research on the authenticity of dinosaur fossils?”
    Rose: “No, just had a series of disappointing museum trips as I'm studying necromancy.”

    Rose: “Bull, meet China shop!”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  20. - Top - End - #1190
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheTeaMustFlow's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Dieza (OOC): You see my character emerge from her tent with a giant hermit crab.
    Kassim (OOC): I back away slowly. ...Wait, how giant a crab?
    Dieza (OOC): About a few feet tall.
    Kassim (OOC): ...I back away quickly.
    Kassim: Why do you have that?
    Dieza: He's my friend! I call him Roly Poly!
    Kassim: I bet you do.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toby Frost
    `This is just the beginning, Citizens! Today we have boiled a pot who's steam shall be seen across the entire galaxy. The Tea Must Flow, and it shall! The banner of the British Space Empire will be unfurled across a thousand worlds, carried forth by the citizens of Urn, and before them the Tea shall flow like a steaming brown river of shi-*cough*- shimmering moral fibre!`

  21. - Top - End - #1191
    Orc in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Your èlite units of leather-clad antipaladins on motorbikes tear through the ranks of Bellinda's army with their shotguns and spiked chains. The heroes attempt to regroup and form a defensive wall to stop their advance...and then comes the tank."
    Last edited by Gallade; 2018-08-06 at 04:46 AM.

  22. - Top - End - #1192
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheTeaMustFlow's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Valathar (OOC, looking at the map): What are these rocks?
    Kassim (OOC): ...Rocks.

    Kassim (OOC): I'm enforcing feminism here, dammit. They don't call it the Enlightened Faith for nothing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toby Frost
    `This is just the beginning, Citizens! Today we have boiled a pot who's steam shall be seen across the entire galaxy. The Tea Must Flow, and it shall! The banner of the British Space Empire will be unfurled across a thousand worlds, carried forth by the citizens of Urn, and before them the Tea shall flow like a steaming brown river of shi-*cough*- shimmering moral fibre!`

  23. - Top - End - #1193
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    WolfInSheepsClothing

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "We crashed the spaceship into their town from Footloose because they were rude to us."

  24. - Top - End - #1194
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Cleric: “Just so you know, the A/C is out. And the pastor is preaching on Hell. We thought it'd be fitting.”

    GM: “Fortunately, no one needs Rose's offer to help with a case of death. That sounds quite painful.”
    Rose: “Apparently the M*A*S*H theme lied to Rose on this subject.”

    GM: “Now Digo, answer honestly. Is there any other GM you've had that's pitted you up against your waifu?”

    Rose: *flips a coin in the air, catches it, and looks at the result*
    [Beat]
    Rose: “You know, I probably should of called it before now.”

    Love: “We might be roommates with a changeling hive! That'd be something.”
    GM: “More than you know...”
    Rose: *picks up flamethrower*

    GM: “Thus begins the ballad of Flamer Punchy-Face of the western Punchy-Faces, a noble clan of bandits famous for their signature tactic of punching people they don't like in the face.”

    Rose: “I stopped a fight with my face.”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
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  25. - Top - End - #1195
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TurboGhast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Veit: Don't worry, we can offload our naming responsibilities to the dice.

    Random: My actual name is unpronounceable as a result of being generated using a Scrabble die. I use it as my bank account password.
    Link to true signature
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  26. - Top - End - #1196
    Banned
     
    GreenSorcererElf

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Gm: Ok, I am going to use the random treasure generator.
    ...

    Gm: Ok, you get 108 gold pieces, 230 silver, A potion of cure light, a masterwork staff and a potion of hold portal.
    Gnome player: Wait a potion of hold portal?
    PsiWarrior player: How does that work.
    Gm: I have no idea.
    Me: It gives a whole new meaning to the term tight ass.

  27. - Top - End - #1197
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by TurboGhast View Post
    Random: My actual name is unpronounceable as a result of being generated using a Scrabble die. I use it as my bank account password.
    That seems like a pretty good way to make strong passwords. And high Scrabble scores.


    Quote Originally Posted by Calthropstu View Post
    Me: It gives a whole new meaning to the term tight ass.
    Pffft hahaha! Nearly spat out my coffee.


    ~

    Rose: “She was a huge mare. You know, the kind that when they stand up the room gets dark? Yeah, she was accusing me of being a changeling. I played a little magical prank on her to rebuke the claim and she uh... well, she beat the snot out of me. Quite efficiently I might add.”

    Sniper: “Any day you avoid getting your face punched out is a good day.”

    Love: “Are you alright?”
    Rose: “On a scale of one to ten, I think my name is swollen.”

    Star: “Holy Sweet Celestia's flank! That thing's massive!”
    Sniper: “Language!”
    Love: “Brute force has its own simple beauty. A kind of ugly beauty.”

    Rem: “Here! Where's the patient? Oh! There she is.”
    Violet: “[Rem]... she has no mouth.”
    Rem: “Sure I do!” (*sound of rending flesh, she opens her mouth into that gaping, sharp-toothed smile*)
    Violet: (*goes white with fright*)
    Rose: “What is my life?”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  28. - Top - End - #1198
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    BlueWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    I haven't actually done these in a while. From the same campaign as my campaign journal, though a lot more recent than where the CJ is at right now. >.>


    Stan: "Keep up the regal look and we should be able to just walk back to where we came in. We can pull this off."
    Blossom: (giggling) "My, my sir, if I had known I'd be on a date, I'd have prepared something a bit nicer to wear!"
    Stan: "You already look lovely, my dear." (looks both ways) "No, but seriously, you fit it with this crowd pretty well. Did you grow up in a big city or something?"
    Blossom: "Oh you're too kind! I've been to too many soirees to count and I can hold a pleasant conversation even with someone having their fingers broken in front of me. That's Sung High Society for you."
    Stan: "...Okay, that raises some questions. I'm...going to want an explanation. Later."


    Stan: "You have two seconds to put your hands in the air before I fire. One."


    GM: "Shots and screams continue to ring out into the background as Sullivan punches in the number. The phone rings thrice, before a cheery voice picks up on the other side."
    Phantom: "Hey! This is Josephine. I'm not home right now, so go ahead and leave a message after the beep."
    GM: There's a beep.
    Sully: (Yelling into the phone) "Phantom! Sully here. Thought you should know that there's a shootout at the Red Lotus. Some guys barred the doors and started shooting with these green laser pistols. It might have scared off your customers upstairs, I'm not sure. Hope to see you later!"
    GM: The message is recorded with a susurrus of screams and the din of plasma pistols firing off in the background.


    Stan: (looking around) "She wasn't, no. ****, I--wow. This is the second goriest cave I've seen this week."
    Winchester: "Second?"
    Stan: "I'll tell you about it if we get a chance to look for our other missing friend. It's a long story."


    Stan: "Let me at least try to talk to - cough - them."
    Winchester: "You have a Scalpel in your chest."
    Blossom: "It'll make him seem more approachable."


    Cop: "We're just going to take you in for questioning."
    Stan: "No, I've had enough of your incompetence." (Reaches for back pocket) "Not grabbing a gun, just my wallet. What will it cost me to skip the questioning, and get me to my personal doctor?"
    Cop: "Your attempt to bribe us has been noted."


    Winchester: "Begone! Cast out the mutant!"
    (after a pause)
    Winchester: "So... What the **** was that thing?"


    Winchester: "What's a Frisss-beee?"


    Winchester: "What do you know about AZKBN?"
    Blossom: "High security prison, no one's ever gotten out, you'll lose your soul there, the same boring stories."


    Stan: "Does the term 'meat palace' invoke any sort of latent memories?"
    Boudicca: "Making one out of Dem... Oh. OH. Those weren't demons, were they..?"
    Stan: "Yeah, it was second scariest meat palace I've been in this month."


    Stan: "Yeah, those ones! You know how embarrassing it is to forget the name of the terrorists you're negotiating with, and then it gets too awkward to ask?"
    Last edited by BladeofObliviom; 2018-08-18 at 09:12 PM.

  29. - Top - End - #1199
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Ninja: "There's an old Kunai proverb that goes something like "Kissing someone's ass puts you out of their sight and within stabbing distance of their crotch." "
    Merchant: "Sure, but what if you don't want just to stab people's crotches? What if you want more?"
    Ninja: "Then get it while they're doubled over screaming "AAAAAH YOU STABBED MY CROTCH AAAAAAAH""
    Hate me if you want. But that's your issue to fix, not mine.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo.

    When Gods Go To War comes out March 8th

    Discord: HalfTangible

    Extended Sig

  30. - Top - End - #1200
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    PaladinGuy

    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Behind the Computer
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Discord: "Well if you're going to be that way about it, I guess I can settle for witty narrator. Hmph. And i only planned to steal the color green for a day. I would have given it back when we left."
    ---

    GM: Humdrum, meanwhile, feels as though he was in the receiving end of a lecture and punitive homework assignments-- and he wasn't even in the direct line of Stare-Fire.
    ---

    Fluttershy: I mostly take care of cute animals."
    Discord: "I still think that bear stretches the definition of 'cute'."
    Fluttershy: "Snuggles is adorable and nopony will ever convince me otherwise."
    ---

    Fluttershy: "Oh. Equestria's not...serene right now, We're being, er, invaded."
    Discord: "Infiltrated, and not even I can track down the source! It's very aggravating."
    Love: "They have very good spies."
    Fluttershy: "By aliens."
    *beat*
    Love: "Wait! We're being invaded by aliens!? Real aliens!?"
    Fluttershy: "Er, um, that is...the thing is...you see...you're not supposed to...I'm not supposed to say that. Er, prevent a panic... A-and besides. It's not...it's not really aliens. It's something, er, worse."
    Discord: *looks at the fourth wall* "Oh please, you all knew that already, right?"
    Pinkie Pie: *pops out of an urn* "Hey! Breaking the fourth wall is my job!"
    Fluttershy: "Pinkie Pie?"
    Pinkie Pie: "Uh, noooooo, I am...Madam LeFlour! And you didn't see me here. Nopony did!" *disappears*
    Fluttershy: "This is my life now."
    ---

    Green Burro: "So ya ain't never had an alien invasion before. Just how much of a rookie are ya?"
    Love: "We've been invaded plenty of times! Hundreds! I just don't. I just don't think we've ever been invaded by ponies from outside our solar system from within the same universe. I mean if it's not really aliens that's normal. Inter/extra dimensional threats. Time travel. Magic maelstrom Etc. etc. Everything has done, but aliens would be news to me! Aliens would have been really awesome."
    ---

    Love: "Everyone is teasing me with awesome aliens."
    Last edited by D.KnightSpider; 2018-08-27 at 10:25 AM.

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