Page 38 of 39 FirstFirst ... 13282930313233343536373839 LastLast
Results 1,111 to 1,140 of 1147
  1. - Top - End - #1111
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Shulk's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2018

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Shidachi (Player, Playing as Ronove Darkfiend) "You know what, Ronove has demonic disease powers, I keep rolling sixes, and he has 666 exp. He really Is the antichrist!"
    Me ( Player. playing as MGS3 Snake) "CALLED IT!"

    Carpegm(Player, Playing as GH0ST, the anarchist psion Stand user Bound with a hacking level of 6 and possibility of dealing damage on a heal attempt due to low stats) :" I hack the car, and i'd like to drive it towards the objective at ramming speed"
    Player who's name I forgot (Playing as bennelia) :"I'm going in the back"
    Me, As snake:"I'm taking the back"
    Shidachi, as old man antichrist: "I CALL SHOTGUN"
    Stoat, As Big bug boy With big sniper: "I'll just snipe the enemies (On the next map over) From here"
    We start Driving
    Dm boots up highway to hell
    "Two guards infront of the machine causing all these problems notice something coming, confused, they then realize what's coming, A car, on fire, blasting metal or rap music, with a psion, an antichrist, a warlock and snake in it. They are suprised, and... (dm rolls dex saves) Are run over"
    Me, OOC: "BOOM *****, GET OUT OF THE WAY!"



    Snake is a monk
    I'm throwing grenades around.
    i have a specific image attached to the grenade script
    Stoat: "You Call throwing grenades around a martial art?"
    Me: "Hey, Whatever works"


    Shidachi: "You're a natural SSBB Grenade spam snake"
    Me: "I still have like, Four of these left."

    Me, looking over kenshi rules and homebrew equipment: "I just realized something which is going to be really, really fun, related to kenshi weapons"
    CarpeGM: "Well, what is it?"
    Me: "Rocket launchers are valid kenshi weapons"

    Repas(GM): "The ghoul comes to bite you and..." (Rolls, rolls a nat 1) "You easily move and punch it in the face."

    me, right now "I just realized I went through that ENTIRE session without getting hit once."
    Last edited by Shulk; 2018-05-28 at 02:05 PM.
    Spoiler: Chronic Backstabbing Disorder
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Personification View Post
    If you or a loved one suffer from CBD, Cynnirjetyxcks may be right for you. Cynnirjetyxcks is a once per long rest medication proven to lessen, or even completely negate, the symptoms of CBD. With Cynnirjetyxcks, you no longer have to feel the urge to suddenly Sneak Attack your close friends.
    Side effects of Cynnirjetyxcks include (Long ass list)
    Talk to your Cleric about Cynnirjetyxcks, because tomorrow there can be hope. Hope for a world without self-inflicted TPKs.

  2. - Top - End - #1112
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    DapperReaper's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    DM:"you hear padded footsteps"
    P1:"oh no, its gimp trolls"
    P2:"what"
    P1:"they got bags on their feet"
    P2 & P3: *barely contained laughter*
    DM:"P1, has your character seen some ****?"
    P1:"I don't know, we all have amnesia, remember"

  3. - Top - End - #1113
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Coventry's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Spoiler: Response
    Show

    Quote Originally Posted by Shulk View Post
    me, right now "I just realized I went through that ENTIRE session without getting hit once."
    Taunting fate and the Random Number gods? Now you've done it.

  4. - Top - End - #1114
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    GreenSorcererElf

    Join Date
    Jul 2016

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Coventry View Post
    Spoiler: Response
    Show



    Taunting fate and the Random Number gods? Now you've done it.
    Heh, I once dared a pfs gm to try to kill my character. It was a 12th level scenario involving demons. My character was 11th playing up.

    The closest he came was targetting me for baleful polymorph, which I saved.

  5. - Top - End - #1115
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Necroticplague's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "HEY!That is a horribly innacurate view of this unit! They're not bloodthirsty psychopaths, they're bloodthirsty sociopaths. Much better at following orders without questions."
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

  6. - Top - End - #1116
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Shulk's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2018

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Coventry View Post
    Spoiler: Response
    Show



    Taunting fate and the Random Number gods? Now you've done it.
    Its more of the fact that I Am a cleric of rngesus Am a warlock of the old dice one Have rng owing me a few favours after the **** it's pulled on me in xcom got lucky, and our tanks did their jobs really well.
    Last edited by Shulk; 2018-05-29 at 10:10 AM.
    Spoiler: Chronic Backstabbing Disorder
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Personification View Post
    If you or a loved one suffer from CBD, Cynnirjetyxcks may be right for you. Cynnirjetyxcks is a once per long rest medication proven to lessen, or even completely negate, the symptoms of CBD. With Cynnirjetyxcks, you no longer have to feel the urge to suddenly Sneak Attack your close friends.
    Side effects of Cynnirjetyxcks include (Long ass list)
    Talk to your Cleric about Cynnirjetyxcks, because tomorrow there can be hope. Hope for a world without self-inflicted TPKs.

  7. - Top - End - #1117
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Just outside Reality
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Spoiler: Responses
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    These quotes are really grounded in combat with the floor.
    Booooooo

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Rose: “Don't worry, it doesn't involve det-cord.”
    Well then it's not a very good plan, is it?

    Quote Originally Posted by DapperReaper View Post
    DM:"you hear padded footsteps"
    P1:"oh no, its gimp trolls"
    I really want to know the thought process here.


    Eric: "You could use your criminal skills for good! To help people! To save the world!"
    Nosey: "Nah, I'm just gonna steal things."

    DM: "Please don’t vore my mom!"

    Silas: "When I make a salad, do I do it with weed? Because, y’know, Devil’s Lettuce? And I'm a demon?"

    Eric: "He stole the hotel soap! What a b******!"

    Eric: "Are [the potential cultists] wearing suspicious black cloaks?"

    Silas: "That cloud looks like a... bigger cloud."

    Silas: "What’s his name?"
    DM (laughing): "It’s stupid."
    Nosey: "His name is Stupid! Mr. Stupid. Above his workshop it just says 'Stupid’s'."
    DM: "No, his name is Clyde."
    Silas: "Pfhahaha! That’s such a dirtball name."

    Zephania: "Orc pee cures hangovers."

    Eric: "Teletubbies vs Mechahitler, the blockbuster of the century!"

    DM: "This isn’t a farming town."
    Eric: "Then what’s their livelihood?"
    Nosey: "Their main export is feelings. They make the feelings."

    Zephania: "Can I roll to buy a fetus?"

    Silas: "Can I buy a cellphone?"
    DM: "Can I strangle you?"

    Eric: "They’re carrying pamphlets that say 'Have you heard the word of [horrific gurgling noises]?'”

    Nosey: "Monkey nuts are the Bitcoin of Runescape."

    Zephania: "Look at my pulsating butthole."

    Zephania: "The medallion is bad spaghetti."

    Eric: "Silas has never successfully said something that isn’t suspicious."

    Eric: "I started this game with the stated goal of being as ridiculously bats*** crazy as possible. How did I end up being the the Team Dad?"

    Eric: "Are we spelling “fairy” the normal way or the dumb fantasy way."
    DM: "It’s F - a - e -
    Eric: "Right, so the dumb fantasy way."
    Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow
    -Mark Twain

  8. - Top - End - #1118
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Diego Havoc's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2011

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    GM: You interogated a bar full of bandits by letting them shoot you until they ran out of bullets.
    Victor: Hey, it worked, didn't it?

    Doris: DORIS DESTROY!
    Titlecard: Doris (The destroyer)

    Naomi: It could be worse. There's a listing on the injury table that basically says "you ain't ever having children".

    Bolts: I pick up Zapp's head and throw it onto his body.
    Dice: *critical success*
    GM: The head lands perfectly on his body. You hear a doodily-doodily-doo sound.

    GM: Make a boner roll to see how horny you are.
    Just call me Diego. Mr. Havoc was my father.
    Spoiler: About Me
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    Diego Havoc, one of the hoopier froods I've met, up there with DeLancie.



  9. - Top - End - #1119
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NinjaGirl

    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    Between Bipolar cycles...
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Wizard girl, Star: "Ah, it's an Asagiri! It possesses maidens and transforms them into...that thing that is ripping Dracos apart!"
    Warrior man Dracos: "wait, this is a spirit?"
    Star: "No, it's a host. Your axe should be able to harm it!"
    Warrior proceeds to miss four attacks.
    Brawler girl, Zoe: "are you sure?"

    Dracos finally gets a good hit and smears creature. It convulsed and turns into a murdered peasant girl.
    Dracos: "It was a monster, I swear."
    Star: "okay, now we have to deal with the spirit, which possesses...maidens. Well, I'm staying over here."
    Zoe: "what are you trying to say about me?"
    Necromancer Cruak: "Star did grow up in a covent. What is your excuse?"
    Zoe: "...I hate you all."
    Last edited by Katrina; 2018-05-29 at 09:14 PM.

  10. - Top - End - #1120
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by CrazyPenguin View Post
    Eric: "Are we spelling “fairy” the normal way or the dumb fantasy way."
    DM: "It’s F - a - e -
    Eric: "Right, so the dumb fantasy way."
    I like Eric. :3


    Love: “I got you that dog on your death bed! You gave it away for parts? It was a gift of Love!”
    Rose: “Wait, I was on my death bed?”

    Rose: “You say killing habit, I say military training to take out a threat.”

    Rose: “But if it's a dinosaur, wouldn't it get stuck trying to follow her down the rabbit hole?”
    Sniper: “Lewis Carroll sneers at your puny logic.”

    Rose: “Yeah, I know. I've kissed myself once.”

    Brazen: “Ah guess the CPI never looks at alternate plans or considerations then.”
    Emerald: “Alternate plans or...MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD, YOU INSENSITIVE JERK!

    Star: “Hey bughead! Message for the queen. Tell her to back her tank right up and give the poor ponies some breathing room.”
    Pins: “You sure you want it phrased like that?”
    Star: “Oh, but do add a please on the end.”

    Tantabus: “Normally stallions take a mare on a date before looking at their intimate bits, Sniper Scope. But you wouldn't know that, would you?”
    Rose: “He can do the first step flawlessly, but it peters out after that.”
    Sniper: “I'll have you know I've seen more than my fair share of mare insides. Mostly when I helped patch them up after an operation went bad, but the point remains.”
    Rose: “Point proven.”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    GitP Player Registry Entry
    Avatar by me - Springboard Jackie

  11. - Top - End - #1121
    Troll in the Playground
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Behind the Computer
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Sniper: Do you know what the absolute worst part of all this is?
    Love:
    What?
    GM: What?
    Sniper: A strong argument could be made that [the Tantabus] is the first mare Sniper goes to bed with.


    Chrysalis: "What, is there some dream hopping version of Uber now?"

    Sniper: "The Changeling you have dialed is not asleep. Please try again later."
    GM: Oh no, you caught the joke. Now I can't use it.

    GM: Concocts is a good word. I should use it more often.

    GM: There's a saying where, after you're scared badly, you say, "I think I just lost a few years of my life."
    Love: Aye. Love will try not to use that around Rem. P:
    Tantabus:
    "What? You mean I can steal people's life too? Huh. No wonder mother tried to kill me."
    Love: "Yeah, her trying to kill you makes a sense now. Well, even more sense. Knowing Scope he might just let you take a few years off the top too. You should definitely not steal anyone's life force!"
    Tantabus: "I...don't know how. And I don't know if I have been all along without realizing it and ohsunandmoonI'mamonster."
    GM:
    Long and short of it, don't confuse the Tantabus.

    Rose: Maybe after a couple dates Sniper can get the advantages fearless
    Love: That doesn't sound very nice to Tandy...
    GM: With a marefriend like that, he'll wake up tired. And heart going at 100 mph. From what I will leave up to your imaginations.
    Love: I'd prefer not to imagine it!


    Sniper: So Tandy can kill Love? o_O
    GM: Potentially, yes.
    Love: Ha, that'd be a heck of a read. Literally scared to death.
    Sniper: It would be the high water mark on Tandy's resume.

    Love: Tandy can do a lot more damage to Love than that too. Love has brainblockers in her head. Tandy could probably mess with those there.
    GM: Yep.
    Tandy: "Let's see what's behind this door that says 'Do Not Open', shall we?"
    Love: Aye, behind one is about a year's worth of physical therapy!
    Sniper: The insurance dealings would be the real nightmare.

    Love: Love built a very nice wall! Lots of walls!
    GM: Tandy would look at those walls and go, "Ooh! Candy wrapping."
    Tandy: "And this one says Snickers on it. My favorite candy bar."

  12. - Top - End - #1122
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Diego Havoc's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2011

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Zapp: *jumps onto the roof of a moving vehicle* Avon calling!

    APC Bot: Hold on to your organs!
    Just call me Diego. Mr. Havoc was my father.
    Spoiler: About Me
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    Diego Havoc, one of the hoopier froods I've met, up there with DeLancie.



  13. - Top - End - #1123
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Shulk's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2018

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "You see ivan, when you cast spell like me, you roll nat 20, out of fear of accidentally doing a tpk on your own party."
    Spoiler: Chronic Backstabbing Disorder
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by Personification View Post
    If you or a loved one suffer from CBD, Cynnirjetyxcks may be right for you. Cynnirjetyxcks is a once per long rest medication proven to lessen, or even completely negate, the symptoms of CBD. With Cynnirjetyxcks, you no longer have to feel the urge to suddenly Sneak Attack your close friends.
    Side effects of Cynnirjetyxcks include (Long ass list)
    Talk to your Cleric about Cynnirjetyxcks, because tomorrow there can be hope. Hope for a world without self-inflicted TPKs.

  14. - Top - End - #1124
    Firbolg in the Playground
     
    Cristo Meyers's Avatar

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Chicagoland
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Come over here and get these bodies."
    "I'm not sure what's worse: that this counts as a greeting from you or that it's become routine..."

    --

    "We have achieved cat-bus, repeat, cat-bus."
    One half of writing pair Cris and Clare Meyers. The third book in our series, Shifting Identities, releases this Summer.

    Visit our Twitter or Facebook page for more info.

  15. - Top - End - #1125
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Diego Havoc View Post
    Zapp: *jumps onto the roof of a moving vehicle* Avon calling!
    DBZ Abridged reference? :3


    Alex: "Zuke procrastinates so hard that I have to finish his sentences."

    Ronin: "There's Iced Tea that's alcoholic."
    Xander: "There's water that's alcoholic."
    Zuke: "That's called vodka."

    Zuke: "What's our party make up?"
    GM: "Sassy cleric, fun-sized rogue, kitty cat fighter, wizard of Id, and a scaly something."
    Xander: "Half-dragon meat popsicle."
    Zuke: "That makes me the entertainment, bard none."

    Zuke & Xander: "Believe it or not, this show is still on, it should have ended two hours ago-oh-oooh."

    Zuke: "Craft (Engineering), Craft (Musical Instrument), Craft (Macaroni & Cheese)."
    GM: "That's a roll I have failed."
    Zuke: "How do you fail Mac & Cheese?"
    GM: "Dude, I have failed ramen."

    Xander: "The Halfling's Guide to Small Details."

    Alex: "The door is trapped."
    Xander: "So we saw. It's electric."
    Ronin: "Boogie woogie woogie."

    Xander: "On a scale of 1 to 46, how hurt are you feeling?"
    Ronin: "About a 29."
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    GitP Player Registry Entry
    Avatar by me - Springboard Jackie

  16. - Top - End - #1126
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    GnomeWizardGuy

    Join Date
    Sep 2013

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Godspeed Sir Squirrel. We salute your sacrifice in the name of Science!

  17. - Top - End - #1127
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Diego Havoc's Avatar

    Join Date
    Jul 2011

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    DBZ Abridged reference? :3
    I've never seen it, but I think the player who said that has, so probably.
    Just call me Diego. Mr. Havoc was my father.
    Spoiler: About Me
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    Diego Havoc, one of the hoopier froods I've met, up there with DeLancie.



  18. - Top - End - #1128
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    The Underworld
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Diego Havoc View Post
    I've never seen it, but I think the player who said that has, so probably.
    Rectify this immediately.
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here.

    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  19. - Top - End - #1129
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Sniper: “Good news: No one else has to worry about nightmares. Bad news: Sniper's cheating on Chrysalis again.”

    Love: “First thing. Now, that I'm not working, Rem, you're welcome to jump my ~spoooky~ bones anytime.”

    Sniper: “Pacing is still covering ground. It just doesn't move you forward.”

    GM: “Rose is a doctor, darn it, not a magic studies major! That was where all the lazy unicorns or really over-achieving earth ponies went! She remembers something about not crossing the streams, but that's about it.”

    GM: “Now, however, the glass is shattered and dark stains run from the walls and down to the drain. A few white fragments of...something, possibly bone, lie scattered about.”
    Sniper: “Well, this isn't ominous at all.”

    Rose: “Rose suddenly developed psychokinetic powers.... no wait, that's just how hard she mentally face-hoofed herself.”

    Rose: “I mean, sure we all nearly died in nuclear fire and Brazen will probably be firing blanks for a week, but it all turned out okay in the end, right?”
    GM: “I think Seafire will be taking issue with those blanks.”
    Love: “It's not exactly how Love would have started her day, but everything isn't gone within a twenty mile radius so that's good.”
    Rose: “It's a wasteland of desert sand. Would anyone have noticed a 20 mile radius missing?”

    Sign: “Warning, you are now breathing radioactive dust that was once a pony.”
    Love: (whispers) “There is already pony dust all around us, a little bit anyway.” (Smells hoof)
    Rose: “Oh, eww! Don't tell me that! I’m gonna go shower.”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    GitP Player Registry Entry
    Avatar by me - Springboard Jackie

  20. - Top - End - #1130
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Guizonde's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    toulouse
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    i'll post a huge wall of text soonish for the end of the rt session, and the pf sessions. right now, here's a tidbit!

    korinn: undress josé immediately!
    grimm: why? he usually manages it just fine himself.
    josé: not under 800lbs of angry orc paladin beating me up!!

    dm: the villagers look at you funny.
    kami: why? i thought josé got dressed again.
    dm: him? yeah. you, on the other hand...
    korinn and grimm: *lay on facepalms*

    josé: i slept with the waitress and bought the restaurant. big deal.
    grimm: you were out of sight for barely 20 minutes!!
    josé: i know a good business move when i see one!
    kami: not my choice of euphemisms. that waitress looks better than just "a business move". *eyebrows intensify*
    Spoiler: quotes
    Show
    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  21. - Top - End - #1131
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    GOOLock: I say we have the neighborhood kids bob for apples in the street. That will draw the werewolf....Notice I didn't say sacrifice the kids, I just say, put them in extreme danger.
    Ranger: Uh, no.
    GM: I don't think your god is happy with you.
    GOOLock: I don't have a god, I have a pact with an alien man-eating worm.
    GM: Even so.
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  22. - Top - End - #1132
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Xander: "I hear tears and crying."
    Ronin: "You sure that's not me?"
    Xander: "These tears don't sound as salty."

    GM: "Who was the mathematician in Jurassic Park?"
    Alex: "The velociraptor."

    Alex: "My Con is down to two."
    Zuke: "What you need is more CON!!" [/Shatner]
    Xander: "Okay, I pick up the halfling and carry him over my shoulder."
    GM: "Why? He can still technically walk."
    Xander: "Okay, I drop the halfling and pick up the sack of loot."

    Xander: "I just got told No by a d10."

    GM: "He got a pair of... Golden Retrievers? No, not that..."
    Xander: "Silver Retrievers?"
    GM: "Sure, we'll go with that."

    Xander: "Liches are now a fashion accessory."

    Alex: "I want to turn this owlbear head into a helmet so I can be tall enough for the flume ride."

    Xander: "I roll a total of 20 to hit."
    GM: "You succeed."
    Xander: "Hahaha, he takes a whooping... 2 damage."
    Zuke: "Welcome to my world."

    Xander: "Alex is getting more criticals than Chernobyl on testing day."
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    GitP Player Registry Entry
    Avatar by me - Springboard Jackie

  23. - Top - End - #1133
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheTeaMustFlow's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Perfidious Albion

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Kassim: All is balanced, but apparently some are more balanced than others.
    Addi: ...So Balinor (TN God of Nature and Balance) is communist?
    Kassim: ...Sure.

    GM: I'm preemptively banning Wild Shaping into Trump Tower.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toby Frost
    `This is just the beginning, Citizens! Today we have boiled a pot who's steam shall be seen across the entire galaxy. The Tea Must Flow, and it shall! The banner of the British Space Empire will be unfurled across a thousand worlds, carried forth by the citizens of Urn, and before them the Tea shall flow like a steaming brown river of shi-*cough*- shimmering moral fibre!`

  24. - Top - End - #1134
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    Guizonde's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    toulouse
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    korinn: i feel a disturbance in the plot...
    free: i got an idea!
    korinn: called it!

    josé: free, step one of a two-man plan is to let the other know about it beforehand.
    free: whoops.

    korinn: here's your new clockwork arm, josé. try not to lose this one.
    kami: and no underhanded deals, ok?
    josé: *casts rude gestures*

    josé: before starting this whole "repentance" shtick, i'm calling it now: it'll do nothing whatsoever.
    *two weeks of torture later*
    grimm, mercilessly whipping: why. are. you. not. feeling. better?!
    josé: called it!!

    gm: there's an air of regret.
    team: we still have those?!
    Spoiler: quotes
    Show
    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  25. - Top - End - #1135
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    GM: So what about your character background justifies you having bagpipes?
    Hunter: My grandmother was a McDonald!
    GM: Nope.
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  26. - Top - End - #1136
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Sniper: “Aaaand we're back to the city of Critical Fail. Population: Sniper Scope.”

    GM: “Shortest crossover in the history of Crossovers.”
    Celestia: “Good morning, Dracula.”

    Love: “We've got the sealed door unlocked and are about to open it.”
    Rose: “Okay, scream if you need help.”

    Octavia: “Light passes right through me, so why does it stop in my eyes? The sort of things you wonder when you're undead.”

    Sniper: “I want her to know that I see her as an individual and not a weapon.”
    Rose: “Why not both?”
    Sniper: “Uh... because we're supposed to be the good guys?”

    Love: “Did Rose gain screaming telepathy?”
    Rose: “Don't tempt me.”

    Love: “[Chrysalis’] betrayal wouldn't be personal.”
    Sniper: “That's Sniper's take on the situation. Backstabbing is the price you pay for befriending Chrysalis.”
    Rose: “I don’t accept that price. I want to change the fee structure.”

    Rose: “This might turn into the first case of an incorporeal entity gaining 20 pounds of weight from eating.”

    Sniper: “Rose is doing her infiltrator thing. Words leaving her mouth may be less straightforward than they appear.”
    Rose: *MischievousUnicornTailWag.gif*

    Rose: “Now, chillin' with the Z-bras. …That just sounds wrong.”
    Love: “They're good people.”
    Rose: “But wear no bras.”
    GM: “How would that... even work?”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    GitP Player Registry Entry
    Avatar by me - Springboard Jackie

  27. - Top - End - #1137
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    RogueGuy

    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Broomfield CO
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Bad day one:

    GM: You raise your shirt, and the teenage Dwarves catch sight of your C'thu-boobs.
    One throws up and passes out, the rest run screaming. Somehow, they let you stay on the boat.

    Bad Day two:

    GM: When you wake up, instead of seeing some sort-off "harmless" gizmo you built while asleep, you see a fabricated steel statue of a woman, posed in dispair, with a black oily liquid pouring out of her eyes and mouth into a receptacle in the bottom, with your signature stamped into the base.

    Bad Day three:

    GM: The Big Bad comes swinging down from his airship on a Rope, and (rolls) hits you in the face with a Plume of fire from his hand. The damage is going to scar you badly.
    P1: Ow, I suppose horrible disfigurement will improve my intimidation. I'm never asking for anything ever again.
    Now, Back to Lurking!
    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant
    Hmmm, looks like Roland locked this thread while I was responding.

    I think I'm going to defer to his wiser judgment in this case, because I'm probably going to keep writing responses and that will only lead to me getting myself in trouble somehow.
    - I should follow this advice more often.

    Belkar's Death Countdown best guess: 28/49 days used before Belkar is gone forever more!

  28. - Top - End - #1138
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Gallade's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2016

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Girl (Tiefling's daughter): "Daddy, is it true you're going to meet Grandpa? I've never seen him."
    Tiefling: "Sorry, but you can't meet Grandpa...he's a really bad person, that's why we never invite him over for dinner."
    Girl: "Ah. Is he one of those people who hate eating meat and those who do?"
    Tiefling: "Well...not THAT bad."

  29. - Top - End - #1139
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    MonkGuy

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Hunter: I was going with an elk, but, I figure we're gonna be really really hungry out there in the woods, so, why tempt you guys with a meat animal?
    GM: When have I ever made you guys track rations? I don't do that! Nobody is going to eat your elk!
    Hunter: You're sure you won't allow them to eat my elk?
    GM: Positive.
    Hunter: Would you allow a megaloceros?
    GM: Yeah, that's in the book.
    Hunter: Kewl! Prehistoric elk!
    Witch: mmm venison!
    Slayer: yum!
    Hunter: I was in a party where an Exalted got a simhata mount, and it approached our campsite and roared his name, and we killed it and ate it.
    GM:...
    Hunter: We offered him leftovers while he wept.
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  30. - Top - End - #1140
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Dang, eating mounts? That's hardcore. XD


    Rose: “Geez, raising kids from the dead is more expensive than just raising the kids.”

    Sniper: “Sheesh. It's like everyone we run into is either a ghost or a megalomaniac or a ghost megalomaniac.”
    Rose: *pokes her zebras to ensure they're substantial*
    Zebras: *don't exist*
    Also Zebras: *Suddenly reveal megalomaniac tendencies*
    Rose: *cries in the corner*

    Rose: “I just helped move two tons of rock out of the exit shaft. I could peel paint by lifting my foreleg pit.”

    Sniper: “Dear Princess Luna, Congratulations! It is my duty to report that you are the proud mother of a baby girl. You now owe over a hundred years of child support and overdue birthday presents.”

    Rose: “First mare Sniper beds and she's physically insubstantial.”

    Love: “Make sure to grab everything out of our old room!”
    Sniper: “Like Happy's tear-gas infused muffins.”

    Rose: “A one-night stand with a nightmare? Sniper, you deviant fox. My evil changeling-half is proud.”

    Sniper: “[I’m] a bad influence on Red Tape.”
    Rose: “Don't stop.”

    Love: “Love gained more respect for Scope in the bathroom because of his conversation with Rem. He seems pretty skilled with handling 'kids'.”
    Sniper: “This is both amusing and terrifying.”

    Rose: “A drunk Rose would probably lead to the party getting wild with Spin the Bottle, Truth or Dare, Timiti getting kissed, and Rose coming back to the office wearing a lamp shade as a festive hat. Bonus points if there wasn't a lamp shade AT the party for Rose to have acquired.”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    GitP Player Registry Entry
    Avatar by me - Springboard Jackie

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •