Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

[Gallade]

Alex:"Hmm...I'll move 31 to..."
Dido:"If I were him I'd move 24 to 20 instead."
DM:"Just as you think about that move, the piece makes it on its own!"
Alex:"What the?"
Debt collector:"Magic checkers."
Alex:"Magic checkers?"
Dido:"****ing magic checkers!"

[Casimir-Ivanova]

During a V:TM fight.
Me: *having watched two Brujah going up against a Camarilla* There is a 10th circle of hell reserved for NPC's who use Majesty during a fight.
ST: He's making his way towards a small door at the back of the building. Declaring Fair escape. What do you do?
Me: *pauses* **** it. I shoot him in the head.
*wins majesty check*
*wins initial hit*
*wins willpower check*
*crits and kills him into a pile of ash*
Me: Huh, apparently I DID shoot him in the head. How the hell did I manage that?

[DigoDragon]

Ah, more surface area to hit with.

Exactly!


Sniper: “One guess what just happened.”
Rose: “Rose and Sniper's teen sword-wielding son from the future came back in time to warn us about androids, but the son also wants to earn the validation of his father which he never had in his timeline?”
GM: “That son's name? Simming Trunks.”

SweetieBot: “Also, I discovered that I have lasers! They pop out of my back. This is the best day ever!”

Love: “Did anyone do anything cool inside the kitchen this week?”
Rose: “I had Apple's pie. Damn fine pie too. That colt's got skill with those hooves.”
Brazen: “Phrasing.”

Sniper: “Some pony lob a stun grenade into the pantry. That's the safest way to check.”

GM: “Who's up for a game of prop hunt?”
Rose: “Yay. This is going to be like shooting fish in a... well, maybe more shooting the barrel itself.”

GM: “Heh. Lifting up Rose's tail. Scandalous. (No actually, scandalous.)”
Rose: “And yet Rose totally lets Chrysalis do that.”
Sniper: “Color the rest of the squad scandalized... Okay, color Sniper scandalized. The rest of the squad takes pics.”

GM: “I think Love's drone is probably in that cake too.”
Love: *Checks book* “The drone doesn't have a cake grade. I think your right. That's going to be such a pain to clean!”

Star: “Cake. [Pinkie] used quick-drying cake that works like cement. Of course she did.”

Sniper: “GM knows how to play a good Chrysalis. I'll definitely give him that.
GM: “Aw, thanks! Good to know I pull off the ruthless, loveless, homicidal villain well.”
Chrysalis: “You forgot 'beautiful'.”
Sniper: “Hey, someone has to. Where would the world be without well-written, ruthless, loveless, homicidal villains?”
Chrysalis: “It's the leg holes, isn't it? They're off-putting and no one considers me attractive because I whistle in mid-flight?”

[ZeroGear]

Spoiler: Responses

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SweetieBot: “Also, I discovered that I have lasers! They pop out of my back. This is the best day ever!”

Set Phasers to 'hug'.

Sniper: “Some pony lob a stun grenade into the pantry. That's the safest way to check.”

Quickest way too.

GM: “Heh. Lifting up Rose's tail. Scandalous. (No actually, scandalous.)”
Rose: “And yet Rose totally lets Chrysalis do that.”
Sniper: “Color the rest of the squad scandalized... Okay, color Sniper scandalized. The rest of the squad takes pics.”

You know how good your friends by their tendency to take pictures of your most embarrassing moments.

Star: “Cake. [Pinkie] used quick-drying cake that works like cement. Of course she did.”

Typical Pinkie.

Sniper: “GM knows how to play a good Chrysalis. I'll definitely give him that.
GM: “Aw, thanks! Good to know I pull off the ruthless, loveless, homicidal villain well.”
Chrysalis: “You forgot 'beautiful'.”
Sniper: “Hey, someone has to. Where would the world be without well-written, ruthless, loveless, homicidal villains?”
Chrysalis: “It's the leg holes, isn't it? They're off-putting and no one considers me attractive because I whistle in mid-flight?”

You could say she's quite 'holesome' too.

Rugar: *clunks Gorilla over head* "GARBAGE DAY!"
DM: NO ONE KNOWS THAT MOVIE!

Delilah: "Wait, where did Laurence go?"
Rugar: "Not sure. He went into that room last I saw."
DM: As you look outside, you see a rather large shape skitter passed with, as far as you could tell in that moment, a rather large cocoon of some kind.
Rugar: So?
DM: Conrad was sitting on it.
Brune: What is it with wizards constantly getting kidnapped?

Laurence: "Hi guys."
Bune: "What are you doing?"
Laurene: "Oh, you know, just hanging out."
Delilah: "In the dark?"
Laurence: "It's relaxing."
Brune: "On a web?"
Laurence: "It's rather comfortable."
Rugar: "Without PANTS?"
Laurence: "The breeze feels nice."

Rugar: "Give me one reason why I shouldn't."
Laurence: "Dat abdomen."

Delilah: "It's half spider!"
Laurence: "Don't judge me!"

Brune: "You have an unhealthy obsession with spider butts."

Delilah: "Don't female spiders usually eat their mates?"
Anena (drider): "Not all of them."
Delilah: "How the heck did he get himself into this?"
Anena: "He said I had pretty eyes."
Delilah: "Which pair was he looking at?"

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Response

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You know how good your friends by their tendency to take pictures of your most embarrassing moments.

You could say she's quite 'holesome' too.

Yeah, we care about each other, but we're all terrible ponies.

Hee hee.

Sniper: “I'm tempted to suggest that the final mimic is disguised as a rubber ducky in Rose's hot tub.”

Sniper: “You have to give Rose props for turning an OOC comment that has nothing to do with the fantasy world into a pathway for her obsession.”

Love: “Are the four of you scheduled a date yet? Careful, ladies. Question Mark stole away one of my squad mates last time I left him alone for a second.”
Rose: “I'd like to add to that the part where he left the country the next morning without so much as leaving his number.”

Rose: “Love would be an easy meal to get. All that pent up desire for Rose? Oh yeah, like a nice multi-layered lasagna.”

GM: “Sorry Love. The dainty fashionista is a little skittish of being jumped on by a pony wearing a massive suit of armor that could very well bruise her or even break a bone.”
Love: “All good! Last time Love tried to hug Rarity it was to crush the life out of her.”

Star: “The mages have a few choice words for us, if you'd care to listen.”
Sniper: “Most of them butthurt, I imagine.”
Rose: “Can you record it? I wanna drift to sleep at night with it.”

Love: “Rose? Could you give her a transitive hug from me to you to her? I'm not in this body anymore, and I'm still in power armor.”

Love: “Do you want a stallion?”
Star: “What do you mean 'do I want a stallion'?”
Love: “Do you want a stallion? I could bag a stallion for you, no problem, if you ever wanted.”

[Inevitability]

Barbarian: The paladin is acting needlessly reckless.
DM: Says the barbarian?
Barbarian: My recklessness is very needed! It gives me advantage!

[Necroticplague]

Nesdu: why do you have over a dozen mana bars?
Gene: Only one of those is mana.
Nesdu: And the rest?
Gene: equilibrium, paradox, hate, psi, feedback, souls, stamina, positive, negative, vim, steam, and ammo. I like to have backups.

[Sky]

From a recent Starfinder one-shot

Spoiler: Characters

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SpaceStreamerXX123 (Like, Share, and Subscribe!!) - A Lashunta Icon Technomancer (Yes, that was his full legal name) We called him "SStreamer"

Exitplan - A Ysoki Soldier specced as a sniper

PewPew BoomBoom - An Android Outlaw Soldier with a Laser Cannon and grenades

Bert and Ernie - A Human Mechanic and his singularly incompetent combat drone

Moe Gameron - A Human Ace Pilot Operative

Serina - A Human Mystic xenobiologist who isn't allowed to touch anything that isn't part of her religion (the Prophecies of Kalistrade)

SStreamer: "I have over 33 million Spacebook friends, 6 billion followers on Space Twitter, and I brought back Space Vine. I am not scared of anything except a lack of WiFi."
*group immediately crash-lands on uncontacted Bronze-Age level planet*

SStreamer: "I stab it with my selfie stick."

Moe: "Oh no.....I'M the bait."

GM: "You know what bamboo looks like? It doesn't look like that."

*Player comes back from bathroom*
Moe's player: "What'd I miss?"
Serina's player: "PewPew just crit-failed a grenade throw. It went BoomBoom."

*During intense negotiations with a summoned Air Elemental*
SStreamer: "Sorry to interrupt, but do you know the WiFi password?"

GM: "The bodies of the wasps are now oozing fluids"
Serina: ".....I take a sample"

Moe: "Wait! If you shoot it, it will fall out of the sky."
PewPew: "....And?"
Moe: "I"M IN IT!"

GM: "Was there more to your plan than: Climb the grass and be bait?"
*silence*
Moe: "To be honest, even that was an accident."

GM: Due to your vlogging, SStreamer, you're a little behind the main group, enough that the wasps don't notice you as you all stumble into the clearing."
SStreamer: "Oh, they will." *charges* "FOR THE 'GRAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!"

[DigoDragon]

Moe: "To be honest, even that was an accident."

I feel like I shouldn't believe that. :3


Rainbow Dash: “That hurt!”
Twilight: “I know.”
Dash: “Why'd ya make me do it then?”
Twilight: “Confirming a theory.”

Twilight: “No, you wouldn't be. You're not Elements. But if we get in melee range of each other, we start feeling... how would you describe it, Dash?”
Dash: “Really bad tacos. That's how.”
Twilight: “How... Evocative.”

Rose: “There are a thousand things that have to happen, in order. We're on number 8. Heart surgery is talking about... number 692.”

GM: “Love's having a rough day today, it seems.”
Rose: “I have the bite mark to prove it. What ever happened to no biting?”
Love: “Love is sorry! She'll kiss away the ouchies latter! It was reflex! Rose was just too tempting.”

Rose: “Okay, one moment. Listen if you hear the sound of Sniper slamming his hoof to his forehead repeatedly.”
Love: “Love has selective hearing toward that sound at this point. It's white noise.”

Love: “Alright, mercy. We're still on the job. I suppose you do need to be able to walk. So many interruptions.”
Star: “Thank you. Grab some air-freshener.”

Sniper: “I'm sorry, Princess Celestia. I know that you're royalty and moments away from going all Nightmare Moon on our flank, but I'm just going to answer this text real quick.”
Rarity: “That's far more consideration than he gave me. He was an incessant texter when I was trying to choke the life out of him.”

Rose: “Sometimes I feel like the one thing that separates Sniper’s life from a RomCom is a laugh track.”

[Spookykid]

Yes i'm going to play kickball with a dragon.
No the dragon is the ball!


edited to add that this has nothing to to with dragonball Z

[Hellpyre]

Toshi: Ow! What the hell?

Durak: I lay out caltrops when I go to sleep. We've been bunking together for a week. You know this.

Toshi: But in the room at the inn?

[Gideon Falcon]

Overheard from within the room:

DM: The Cult leader turns [to the party] and says, "Welcome!"
Player: And takes a crossbow bolt to the face.

DM: You can't remember, you're drunk.
[Presumably a Dwarf]: Ye can go either left, or right. *Simulating other character* "From where?" ** From everywhere.

Player: I need some really shady-looking folks... So these are mercenaries, right?
Me, as peanut gallery: Not shady enough!

[Guizonde]

josé: i lick the owlbear!
dm: 0.o
korinn: he's weird like that...

grim: dude, your own god called you a heretic.
josé: i know, don't worry about it.
dm: the plot, on the other hand...
korinn: yeah, with us around, there's not too many survivors.

korinn: grim, you're teaching a 6 year old orc barbarian how to teethe... using your muscles.
grim: it tightens up the flesh and he gets to work on jaw strength!

grim: josé, if i'm teaching gorruk (the 6 year old orc barbarian) how to be brutal, and you're teaching him how to be cunning...
josé: *grins*
korinn: oh crud, you're turning the kid into gork!
dm: i'm sooooo not ready for that kind of god in pathfinder.

dm: elves are hunted on sight over in that quarter...
grim and josé: have we mentioned he's/ i'm human today?

monk, officially named kami: ok, so all you losers got 15k gp worth of loot, but cayden cayllean gave me a name. i'm so much more badass than you.
eva: says the loser who's still crying about getting a haircut 6 weeks later.

kami: guys, i'm going to the brothel.
dm: knowing you've got a nympho cleric in the party, that's a low blow...
eva: i have standards!! nobody under 16 wis!... and a solid 18 charisma, minimum.

korinn: ok, josé's secret identity should be: el beretta!!
grim: knowing he's fallen and finally turned chaotic neutral, i'm sure he'll be just as lethal as his namesake.
josé: i'm soooooo ahead of you guys, but if i told you, you'd change alignment too.
dm: *traumatized* what has been role-played cannot be unseen.
kami: so long as he doesn't steal my kills, i'm ok with that.

dm: i'm preemptively banning modern day italian firearms.
josé: pfff, i'll let you know i have taste. i won't fire anything lighter than grim.
grim: am i supposed to go on a diet now or should i forget it?
korinn: you weigh 180kg. i don't think it'll matter too much either way.

josé: korinn, can you please tell your pet dragon to stop smoking from my hookah?!
novikov, coughing up smoke: i ain't done nuthin'!
josé: i'm sure it's bad for his health, or something.
korinn: even you're not bad for his health, and that's saying something... novikov, can you ask josé before hitting his stash, at least?
josé: if he keeps living in my hat, i'm gonna charge rent!
novikov: *laughs in beret*
dm: one day, it'll make sense. today is not that day.

[DigoDragon]

DM: The Cult leader turns [to the party] and says, "Welcome!"
Player: And takes a crossbow bolt to the face.

Hahahahaha... love this one. :D


Alex: "If an elf farts in the woods and no humans are around to hear it, did it actually happen?"

Alex: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Xander: *leans in* "What do you think?"
Alex: "You're a freak."
Xander: "No, just an elf."

Alex: "Okay, let's go talk to the farmer about his gopher problem."
Xander: "I'll go get the dynamite."

Alex: "Five rounds later we finally reach the other end of the room..."

Xander: "Okay, follow my lead."
Alex: "Sure thing. Are we using the Joker rules?"
GM: "What are Joker rules?"
Alex: "1) Stay 25 feet away at all times, 2) Keep your answers to just yes or no, 3) assume he always carries a flamethrower."

Alex: "Who knew this was a hairy situation?"
Xander: "Chin up! It'll be a close shave, but we'll make it."

Xander: "All the benefits, and none of the stares at Prom Night!"

Alex: "Why are we poking everyone?"
Xander: "Dunno but honestly we need to limit each person to one poke a round."
GM: "So why is it taking Zuke so long to catch up?"
Zuke: "I'm a slow poke."

Alex: "Ah, she's a hearth witch."
GM: "That's HEEth, not HARth."
Ronin: "I thought Heath was a candy bar."

GM: "I think someone summoned a cat-pee spirit."

Nick: "You have a Scotsman and an Italian here but you give the alcohol to the kid?! What are we, France?"

Xander: "We reduced Tiamat to a hand turkey."

[Guizonde]

Alex: "Are you a boy or a girl?"
Xander: *leans in* "What do you think?"
Alex: "You're a freak."
Xander: "No, just an elf."

i may be stealing that one. nicely played.

Alex: "Okay, let's go talk to the farmer about his gopher problem."
Xander: "I'll go get the dynamite."

i'm starting to like how xander operates!

Alex: "Who knew this was a hairy situation?"
Xander: "Chin up! It'll be a close save, but we'll make it."

i think you meant "shave" ^^

Nick: "You have a Scotsman and an Italian here but you give the alcohol to the kid?! What are we, France?"

congrats, that got a snicker out of me.

[bc56]

"What's in there?"
"Uhh, apples. Definitely apples."

"I'm sorry, but my associate didn't have any parents, so no one ever told him that throwing bears at people is not nice."

"I check to see if the door wants to kill me."

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses

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i think you meant "shave" ^^

Whoops! I hate it when my typo is correctly spelled.

Happy to know others find Xander entertaining. :3

"I'm sorry, but my associate didn't have any parents, so no one ever told him that throwing bears at people is not nice."

That's one heck of a throwing arm!

Love: “Should... Should we steal Twilight's personal rod? It's so useful! Detect magic once per 30 minutes.”
Rose: *Giggling Horse Noises*
Love: “I'm not the one that set the joke up! I'm just beating the rod on a dead horse.”
Brazen: “Phrasing!”

GM: “I’m not dead.”
Rose: “How do we know you're not like... some evil sister of the GM messing with us?”
Love: “That's true! We demand a bioscan!”
Rose: *snaps on the latex*

Love: “If Love couldn't even hug Star she'd explode.”
Sniper: “... Nah. Commenting about Star exploding when Love touches her is too easy.”

Love: “Nah, nah. It's the opposite. The mares come to him drawn in by his powerful chin gravity.”

GM: “So, relying on Sniper to solve this?”
Sniper: “You do have to love that the team's first reaction to an emotional crisis is to look at the homicidal Pegasus with anger issues.”

Rose: *whiffs Love's shampoo*
Love: (whispering) “It’s mango.”
Rose: “I trust your judgement, you delicious mango, you.”

Rose: “Set hams to maximum.”

Rose: “This might be a good moment for the EDF to gather in the library and have a little discussion of our own.”
Love: “Should Star Chaser come?”
Rose: “Didn't she already in the command center with you?”

Chrysalis: “Hello Brazen. Want to see my Cadence impression?” (Transforms)
Cadence: “Oh no! I’m so helpless and useless!” (Transforms back)
Chrysalis: “See? Perfect, right? I can imitate anything you desire. Care to go for a ride?”
Rose: “Careful, Brazen. There's no seatbelt.”
Chrysalis: “But a lot of horsepower.”

[Necroticplague]

Nesdu:.....This is a situation where an explanation will leave me more confused, isn't it?
Gene: Yes.

[ZeroGear]

Spoiler: Responses

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"What's in there?"
"I check to see if the door wants to kill me."

Always a good policy.

GM: “I’m not dead.”
Rose: “How do we know you're not like... some evil sister of the GM messing with us?”
Love: “That's true! We demand a bioscan!”
Rose: *snaps on the latex*

It makes a niche snapping sound!

Chrysalis: “Hello Brazen. Want to see my Cadence impression?” (Transforms)
Cadence: “Oh no! I’m so helpless and useless!” (Transforms back)
Chrysalis: “See? Perfect, right? I can imitate anything you desire. Care to go for a ride?”
Rose: “Careful, Brazen. There's no seatbelt.”
Chrysalis: “But a lot of horsepower.”

As long as knowing what's underneath doesn't bug you too much.

Nesdu:.....This is a situation where an explanation will leave me more confused, isn't it?
Gene: Yes.

So...the status quo?

Laurence: "I'm not going into that hole!"
Brune: "Yes you are."
Laurence: "No, I'm not."
Brune: "Any particular reason why?"
Laurence: "No sane person would willingly go in there!"
Brune: "I still don't see the problem here."
Laurence: *beat* "I RESENT THAT!"

Brune: "So, how do you feel about live bait?"
Delilah: "Nope. No. Uh-uh. I am NOT doing it!"
Brune: "...um..."
Rugar: "What's wrong?"
Brune: "My whole plan kinda hinged on her being the bait."
Delilah: "If you don't want me to turn something down, DON'T GIVE ME THE OPTION TO SAY NO!"

Rugar: "What's this?"
Laurence: "Hey! give m back my Thingie!"
Rugar: "Your 'thingie'?"
Laurence: "Yes, my Thingie! Now give it back!"
Rugar: "Can you please not call it that?"
Laurence: "What else am I supposed to call it, 'Richard'?"
Rugar: "Can't you just call it something normal?"
Laurence: "It's my Thingie, I can call it what I want!"

Brune: "Dammit! This thing is too tight."
Delilah: "Not a fan of it being tight?"
Brune: "I'd rather it be loose."
Delilah: "Tight is better though. You get more control."
Brune: "But that requires more force."
Delilah: "Not if you're careful. You've got to do it gently."
Brune: "And yet having it loose makes it so much easier."
Delilah: "The easy way isn't always the best way."
Brune: "But why make it harder. And easy makes it more enjoyable."
DM: Both of you stop or I'm flipping the table.

Brune: *high search roll* Anything interesting in these ruins?
DM: Not much of note, though one of the stones seems to have some kind of markings on them.
Laurence: Anything significant?
DM: Well, the markings are worn and faded from years of age, and it's really hard to make out. It's probably nothing.
Laurence: I try to decipher it! *Nat 20 roll*
DM: Alright, despite the decay of ages and the near-indecipherable nature of the markings, you are able to understand the misspelled writing on the rock.
Rugar: What's it say?
DM: The horrendously misspelled word on the rock reads: 'Reason'.
*DM is then pelted by miniatures and dice*

Laurence: "Prepare to face my Thingie!"
Orc: "Ah, but I too have a Thingie!"
Laurence: "So I see, but your Thingie cannot compare to MY Thingie!"
Orc: "I doubt that! MY Thingie is bigger than yours!"
Laurence: "True, but MY Thingie is long and slender, and far more versatile than yours."
Orc: "But MY Thingie has more power behind it!"
Laurence: "And MY Thingie is faster!"
Orc: "And MY Thingie hits many!"
Laurence: "And MY Thingie...
Rugar: "Laurence, for the love of the gods, stop or I'm going to punch you!"

Brune: "When I die, it's going to be either of old age or on the battlefield. It's NOT going to be in the gullet of a flying, over-sized, mutant Iguana!"

[Teleros]

Nameless warrior: "We are rolling the same values, what's next our periods sync up?"

DM: "Who here never saw the matrix? You have now."

Nameless: "An enema as ressurection!"

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Response

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As long as knowing what's underneath doesn't bug you too much.

Hee hee.

Speaking of things bugging me, I am not sure if the horrendously misspelled word on the rock that read 'Reason' was an injoke or something I simply didn't make the INT check for.

Sniper: “Just wait until that second squad shows us up.”
Love: “That shouldn't happen for a couple more months unless something disastrous happens.”
GM: “Months? This is Equestria. If a week goes by without a world-ending disaster, it's a good week.”

Sniper: “Indeed. Thanks to Cadence, he was starting to notice others again. Rose cut in line and bumped every pony else of of the way. Round hips help with that.”
Rose: “Rose could weaponize those hips. Either you can't resist or you can't dodge. Bottom line—you’re taking damage.”

GM: “Rose got a nice changeling to let her come in and make a special pie with her.”
Sniper: (denial) “...Was it vanilla?”
Rose: (not really exaggerating) “It rather was, yeah.”

Sniper: “I'm sure Luna was expecting a mansion of death-traps or a death-match over a river of blood. Instead, she got a trip to the principal’s office.”

Rose: “And that's when Rose does the flying headbutt. Which is especially bad because unicorn.”

GM: “I will note that Judge Doom only 'recommended' that Rose stop visiting Chrysalis. He didn't expressly forbid anything but your involvement in the de-horning debate.”
Rose: “Dude, the way he delivered the line, it was a recommendation in the same way that an electrical power transformer 'recommends' you don't open the unit up.”
GM: “You're not wrong...”

Rose: “Well, Princess Cadance didn't catch fire when Rose talked to her, so that's kind of good?”

Rose: “If confidence was a drug, I was doing cocaine off my own back!”
Sniper: “That's the entire problem.”

Love: “Oh! Come on! I say I want to jump out of a spaceship with an anti-grav unit and that's all 'no way', but Rose is going to set herself on fire and that's alright?!”
Sniper: “I'd like to point out that Rose wouldn't technically be setting herself on fire. Celestia would. Rose would just be goading her into doing it.”

Love: “Well, if Brazen put on a ton more weight… that'd be helpful.”
Rose: “I weigh 178 pounds. Double my size and I'll be up to 75% of a ton.”
Love: “Rose. We need to leave you behind because your huge ass is too big for the spaceship! A majesty flank is always appreciated and we do want you with us, but, we're going to have to call in a truck to pick you up.”
Rose: *loaded on a flatbed trailer under a tarp being transported across town*
Star: *wears a trucker hat*
Love: “Love will bring up the rear and make sure the cargo is secured at all times!”

[gmoyes]

Heh, I'm actually going to be running a Fallout Equestria game with my irl group soon and I already have a few pre-game quotes.

Spoiler: Cast

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Moonlit Dusk: A prodigal pre-war Unicorn mare caster, was part of complex infiltration spell matrix when the bombs fell and turned into a ghost for 180 years. Our previous GM.
Longhaul: A Pegasus Ghoul mare who was a trucker pre-war, pretty much didn't change at all after the bombs becoming a courier. Adopted Dusk as a roommate when she de-ghosted.
Windsheer: A Unicorn stallion born in the Enclave. Viewed as a bastard by a good chunk of his notable storm maker family, he ended up forced to work as a farmer. Scapegoated and marooned on the surface thanks to a magical mishap.
Excel Blazer: Earth Pony stallion, a rather average wastelander with a flair for fashion. Haven't quite nailed down all the details for him yet.
GM: Yours truly.

Dusk: You know, when you first showed me this system I was tempted to run it. But then I remembered that MLP is 80% puns. It's in good hands.

Dusk: Ah Fallout Equestria. The only setting where Apple products are actually good.

Dusk: I just want to be clear about you playing a pegasus when you already have a track record of being turned into skeet.
Longhaul: I know, but I'm self propelled this time!

Windsheer: I'm a Unicorn born to Pegasi with an Earth Pony job. I'm practically an Alicorn.
GM: *evil grin* You know I can arrange that, right?

Dusk: Oops, I accidentally min-maxed Dusk.
GM: "Accidentally"?

Dusk: Once I get Blessed by Luna and take a hit of Scholar, my INT goes up to 20 and my PER hits 12.
GM: Jeez!
Dusk: I know and see everything!
GM: Now I'm going to have to create a cthulu. Or you just turn into Pinkie Pie.
Dusk: I can see into other dimensions!
GM: Now I'm thinking something involving a Faustian deal...

[CircleOfTheRock]

Rhogar: So... they’re in the water and the yuan-ti pureblood is on top of him, right?
DM: Yeah...
Rhogar: *snicker*

DM: So what do you do?
Operine: We’ll charge in, of course.
DM: They’ve got hundreds of slaves that they’ve told you they’ll put to death!
Rhogar: So?

[Gallade]

Arena announcer:"And the winner for this round is Balderich the Owlbear"
Runak:"Dang, I was so close to beating him. But hey, at least I faced the champion---"
Arena announcer:"And now the next match, pitting Balderich SENIOR, the TRUE champion..."
Runak:"Oh COME ON!"

[DigoDragon]

Heh, I'm actually going to be running a Fallout Equestria game with my irl group soon and I already have a few pre-game quotes.

1. I'm jelly.
2. Which system are you using?


Sniper: “Look on the bright side, we blend in so well that our own luggage couldn't find us.”
Rose: “I can think of someone to stuff in that luggage then.”
Sniper: “If only all our problems could be solved so easily.”

Love: “Ninja! …Does our team have ninjas?”
Rose: (*looks at her own huge butt*) “I have a scale model of the moon.”
Love: (*looks at Rose’s butt*) “I raise no objections.”

Rose: “Sniper can ask her the question. Rose's primary reason to want to move back into her place at some point is primarily driven that she'd like privacy to do Rose things with Sniper pony.”
Sniper: “Mangled sentence is mangled.”
Rose: “Some posts you just can't grammar a save.”

Love: “Also, you have a suicide code if you wish to activate it, but don't activate it!”
Rose: “Why give someone something you don't want them to use?”
Chrysalis: “...Can it be done...remotely?”
Love: “No! Bad!”

Rose: “OMG, I just figured out those little red balls Love keeps in the dungeon aren't clown noses.”
Love: “Uh. They are noses. Who told you otherwise?”
Sniper: *quietly begins looking for other living arrangements*

Sniper: “Pancake torture.... I've got nothing.”
Love: “I'm adding it to the list!” (Buys 20 gallons of pancake syrup)
Sniper: “…Why?”

Sniper: “Typical. Love has to have the cake, be the cake, and eat the cake. That is as destructive as it sounds.”
Rose: “Hmm? I heard cake?”
Love: “We were talking about how the cakes are all mine. You're one of the cakes actually.”

GM: “Also, looking at all that equipment...I feel kind of bad for what I'm about to do.”
Rose: “What, charge us taxes?”
Sniper: “There's giving the GM Ideas, and then there's foolishly dangling annihilation over the team's head.”

[Necroticplague]

Gene: Don't worry, this is only the second most inescapable thing I've been trapped in this week.
Nesdu: And the first?
Gene: A relationship with an incredibly clingy telepath.

[ZeroGear]

Speaking of things bugging me, I am not sure if the horrendously misspelled word on the rock that read 'Reason' was an injoke or something I simply didn't make the INT check for.

Spoiler: Heretical Context

Show

To make a long story short, "Reason" was the weapon of choice belonging to the lovable half-giant Thud, who was a character of Rugar's player (you can find quotes from him in Edition V page 3. He is the guy that nearly hugged the warlock to death due to being so happy he was called big). One of his famous lines is "Thud use Reason to solve problem!"

Love: “Well, if Brazen put on a ton more weight… that'd be helpful.”
Rose: “I weigh 178 pounds. Double my size and I'll be up to 75% of a ton.”
Love: “Rose. We need to leave you behind because your huge ass is too big for the spaceship! A majesty flank is always appreciated and we do want you with us, but, we're going to have to call in a truck to pick you up.”
Rose: *loaded on a flatbed trailer under a tarp being transported across town*
Star: *wears a trucker hat*
Love: “Love will bring up the rear and make sure the cargo is secured at all times!”

I'm actually curious if that picture is accurate or just an exaggeration.

Dusk: Once I get Blessed by Luna and take a hit of Scholar, my INT goes up to 20 and my PER hits 12.
GM: Jeez!
Dusk: I know and see everything!
GM: Now I'm going to have to create a cthulu. Or you just turn into Pinkie Pie.
Dusk: I can see into other dimensions!
GM: Now I'm thinking something involving a Faustian deal...

To quote Littlepip, "He has a stick."

Sniper: “Typical. Love has to have the cake, be the cake, and eat the cake. That is as destructive as it sounds.”
Rose: “Hmm? I heard cake?”
Love: “We were talking about how the cakes are all mine. You're one of the cakes actually.”

The cake is moist and delicious. (It might also be a lie).

[D.KnightSpider]

Bo Mane: D'ya know what the best part of inventing things is? When they explode.
---

Random NPC: The timberwolves are attacking!
Truly Sweet: What do we do? I know! We'll scare them away!
Stethy Scope: Unlikely. According to my research they don't scare--
Bo Mane: *produces a BIC Lighter and an aerosol can*
Stethy Scope: --Well... okay... then.
---

Bo Mane: I'd like to introduce my sister (Ro), my other sister (Do) and my brothers (Chow and Lo).
---

Truly Sweet: It turned out there was a fairy behind the whole thing.
Stethy Scope: So what did you do?
Truly Sweet: I made it a brownie.
---

Stethy Scope: Be healed! *punches pony in the nose*

[Guizonde]

to be edited later:

raymond: cursing ignores cover saves.
dm: seeing his kill count... he's right, for reasons i can't fathom.
raymond: i told you so!
jace: i thought it was "pray the emperor" not "profanities in his name".
dag: whatever works. *curses in almost-occitan*

ross: *gun jams*
lux: *gun jams*
dm: raymond, can you show them how it's done?
ray: open the firing mechanism, spit on the lenses, and wipe them down.
dm: i meant "show them how to roll under a 96"....
ray: every bit helps!
dag: *almost-occitan cursing intensifies*

[gmoyes]

1. I'm jelly.
2. Which system are you using?

Thanks We're using Dead Tree Studio's system, which is based of Kkat's system that you're using. The difference is akin to the difference between 3.5 and Pathfinder, being the same system but some things were changed for balance reasons (for example Science is split into Hacking, Chemistry and Unicorn magic instead of being rolled into one skill). With any luck we'll be starting tomorrow. Until then, one more for the road:

GM: Excel is almost too cute to belong in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Dusk: That's what I said!