New OOTS products from CafePress
New OOTS t-shirts, ornaments, mugs, bags, and more
Page 42 of 50 FirstFirst ... 1732333435363738394041424344454647484950 LastLast
Results 1,231 to 1,260 of 1476
  1. - Top - End - #1231
    Orc in the Playground
    Join Date
    Feb 2016

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    DM:"You examine the greenhouse. You find nothing of interest besides rotten soil and mushy vegetal biomass"
    Player:"Just regular plants? Aren't there any technological objects?"
    DM:"Were you expecting rhododendrons?"
    Player:"More like robo-dendrons"
    Last edited by Gallade; 2018-10-18 at 03:17 AM.

  2. - Top - End - #1232
    Pixie in the Playground
     
    BlueKnightGuy

    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Obviously the solution to your problems is to create one hundred flying engineers snipers."


    "There's nothing wrong with eating dead people. Everything I know about souls means their bodies are nothing to them now. Unless they're brought back as undead, I guess? I don't think undead are a good thing, though."


    "Now, to be fair, she pressed the emotion control button pretty fast."
    "Oh well, live and learn I guess, except the death people, they aren't going to learn anything any time soon."

  3. - Top - End - #1233
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Necroticplague's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Why does everyone say 'corpse-eater', 'eater of the dead' and 'necrovore' like that's supposed to be impressive or ominous? Last I check, all you f***s preferred your meat very long dead by the time you ate it, so you really need something more defining of this creature. Heck, probably be more notable if they ate the still-living."
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

  4. - Top - End - #1234
    Banned
     
    GreenSorcererElf

    Join Date
    Jul 2016

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Necroticplague View Post
    "Why does everyone say 'corpse-eater', 'eater of the dead' and 'necrovore' like that's supposed to be impressive or ominous? Last I check, all you f***s preferred your meat very long dead by the time you ate it, so you really need something more defining of this creature. Heck, probably be more notable if they ate the still-living."
    Sounds right to me.

  5. - Top - End - #1235
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Telonius's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Wandering in Harrekh
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Please move the hamster up into the dragon's face."


    "Wow, there are an awful lot of people who are really @^&*( off at us."

  6. - Top - End - #1236
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Viridia: “...and I mean, Stellar's cute, but Moonylicious has a butt that fits the name, y'know?”

    Fan Knife: “I know there's kids here, but if you're not going to destroy this place, what are you going to do with it?”
    Viridia: “Walk out of it?”
    Moon: “Ignore it?”

    Stellar: “Did you know griffons were hot? I didn't know griffons were hot.”
    Viridia: “You still don't, 'cause they aren't.”
    Moon: “Really, it's the beak and talons that confuse me. Who wants to cuddle with a bag of knives?”

    Moon: “Someone take these dice away from me. They don't like me anymore.”
    Choro: “It's almost as if, after insulting Nightmare Moon, Moonshadow's luck took a turn for the worse... guess there might be something of her left out there after all.”

    Doc: “I got ninja'd by a three-legged pegasus.”

    GM: “Science is the best skill to analyze magic and, surprisingly, science.”

    Viridia: “Stop arguing about where to sleep and bring me pictures of Spider-Man!”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  7. - Top - End - #1237
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Ortho's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2017

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "I fear the reactions of the other DMs when they found out I gave you bags of East. And to make it worse you can come back to flip the lever and have bags of West."

    "You walk up the misty lane, as the trees leer eerily at you from - I can't take you seriously with the accordion music, dammit!"

    "This session has turned into 50% puzzles, 50% mayonnaise"

  8. - Top - End - #1238
    Dwarf in the Playground
    Join Date
    May 2014

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Wizard: why do you have to blame Wizards, why is everything our fault?

    Rogue: Because if the bad idea works it always is their fault. If some Barbarian had decided the world needs owlbears there would have just been one decapitated Bear with an owl nailed to the thing.

  9. - Top - End - #1239
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    ClericGirl

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    East Coast, USA
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Player 1 So I'm going to wrap myself in thorny vines
    Player 2 And I'm gonna chuck him at the werewolf
    Player 3 And while he's in the air, I'm gonna cast enlarge on him.

    ******************
    "Dude, we have a f**king pocket dragon!"

    *************
    "Um yeah, I think I'm wearing his sister."
    "What are you going to do, bludgeon it with a rake?"
    "Hold up, did we just get a defective pocket dragon?"
    Why are you advocating cutting off hands? You're a paladin! Who's your god, Orcus?"

  10. - Top - End - #1240
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    SleepyShadow's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Earth

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "I whisper sweet nothings to the bar counter."

  11. - Top - End - #1241
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Spoiler: Responses
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by mjp1050 View Post
    "This session has turned into 50% puzzles, 50% mayonnaise"
    At least your sandwiches won't ever be dry?


    Quote Originally Posted by PastorofMuppets View Post
    Rogue: Because if the bad idea works it always is their fault. If some Barbarian had decided the world needs owlbears there would have just been one decapitated Bear with an owl nailed to the thing.
    That is some sound logic. :3


    Quote Originally Posted by Miz_Liz View Post
    "Um yeah, I think I'm wearing his sister."
    I hope the sister is dead, or it'll get real awkward. :o


    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyShadow View Post
    "I whisper sweet nothings to the bar counter."
    The one relationship you know will 'support' you. ;)



    Doc: “Soon as everyone gets their things scanned and settled, I wouldn't mind us getting underway. If that's alright with the pegasi?”
    Moon: “We should wait for a little bit, give Fan Knife a chance to show up. If she bailed, fine, but now where is she?”
    Doc: “3... 2... 1...”
    GM: “A small thump came from the entrance of the bus, and Fan Knife hopped inside.”
    Doc: “Bingo.”

    Fan Knife: “So, anyone die here when I was with Viridia?”
    Choro: “No, thank Celestia. Everything's been quiet.”
    Doc: (grumbling to himself) “Sure, thank Celestia no pony died, but what about thank the doctor who did most of the work today preventing death?”

    Mirror: “I learned what coffee was, but that was the one thing Sari did not allow others to have. I was allowed to try it once, and I could not rest for two days time.”
    Doc: “Wow. Yeah, guess you're not used to it. Was that why Sari didn't let others drink coffee?”
    Mirror: (points at a mid-sized wastebasket that served as a table) “Her cup was that big.”
    Doc: “…Does Sari ever sleep?”

    GM: “But the party would probably want to have the tube of flying metal with all of their stuff in it modified in the favor of being, say, griffon proof anyway.”
    Doc: “Griffon proof specifically, or do you mean bullet resistant in general? Like, why should the bus be protected by griffons specifically? Something about Stellar's new boyfriend and the seat upholstery?”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  12. - Top - End - #1242
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheYell's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    HUNTER: We got a problem.
    DM: What problem?
    HUNTER: It's the elk. He won't work with a wolf.
    DM: …
    HUNTER: I tried to explain it to him, but he's like, 'keep that SOB away, he's gonna eat me in the snow'. He's got bestial intelligence and a low charisma, and, you know, he's pretty ill-tempered.
    DM: I don't need this.
    HUNTER: He's really upset because he saved the wizard's life by killing that wyrm, and then, he gets a level of druid and gets a wolf. He says its a conspiracy.
    DM: What do you want me to do?
    HUNTER: He's asking permission to handle it his way.
    DM: NO!


    HUNTER: He's not mad at you. He was mad at me.
    DM: Did you even read the feat? It makes no sense!
    HUNTER: Hey Doctor Who is a woman, and there's 2 popes, why shouldn't I have Planar Infusion?


    WIZARD/DRUID: And then I can cast Reduce Person and ride my Fairy Dragon!
    DM: WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A FAIRY DRAGON??
    WIZARD/DRUID: Improved Familiar!
    DM: Arrgghh



    DRUID: So we tried that Tuesday game, and we had to roll characters and races at random!
    RANGER: Hello 2E!
    DRUID: So we're going to run Reign of Winter ourselves on Tuesdays.
    HUNTER: Gee, I dunno if I can come into town more than one day a week.
    DRUID: Oh we're already full. I'm just talking.
    HUNTER: …
    Last edited by TheYell; 2018-10-23 at 05:15 PM.
    Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail

  13. - Top - End - #1243
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Just outside Reality

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    O'Reilly: "I'm wearing a buffalo skin as a cloak. The face comes down to form a mask."
    Anwar: "You are now, legally speaking, not allowed to Wild Shape into things other than bison."

    Karak: "I think we need to introduce ourselves!"
    O'Reilly: *stands up* "My name is Gowther O'Reilly, and I am going to the bar!" *leaves*
    DM & Anwar, simultaneously: "O-O-O O'Reillyyyy! Auto parts!"

    Karak: "My name is Karak!"
    Everyone: "Crack?"
    Karak: "No, Karak!"
    Anwar: "Butt Karak."
    Karak: "And what is your name?"
    Anwar: "Anwar."
    Cronweiler: "Armoire?"
    Anwar: "Shut up, Cronweiner."

    Anwar: "What was [the dwarf]'s name? Fireforge?"
    Fireforge: "Yeah, Garnet Fireforge."
    Anwar: "Well I don't need your first name. You're my commanding officer! Imagine joining the Army and the first thing you do is walk up to your CO and say 'Hey, Bill, what's up?'"
    Fireforge: "Touche."

    Anwar: "So what's with the rakshasa?"
    Fireforge: "Oh, Father Claw? He's harmless."
    Anwar: "Hence the totally harmless, non-ominous name?"
    Fireforge: "Yeah! Also his real name is unpronounceable with a human tongue."
    Anwar: "Touche."

    Nadar: "I would like to buy a longbow!"
    DM: "You're in the blacksmith's shop?"
    Nadar: "Yeah."
    DM: "To buy a longbow."
    Nadar: "Yes."
    DM: "The weapon which includes no metal parts?"
    Nadar: "Yep."

    Anwar: "Is assuming that all dwarves can be bribed with alcohol racist? I feel like that's racist."

    Nadar: *looks over Zuul's shoulder at his book* "What'cha doooin'?"
    Zuul: "Starting anew."
    DM: "He slices his finger with the knife and starts writing something on the page in blood."
    Anwar: "I'm going to go sit as far as possible from that man."

    Cadence: "I start playing my lute for the bar." *nat one*
    DM: "You touch the first string, and every one of them snaps."
    Anwar: "Yeah, humidity changes'll do that."
    Cadence: "Fine. I'll take out my S A X O P H O N E." *kills it*
    Cromweiler: "Let me get some mood music going."
    O'Reilly: "I'm going to try to outplay him on my bagpipes." *fails*
    Cromweiler: "I don't think I can find a bagpipe/saxophone duet."
    Karak: "You can find anything on the internet."
    Nadar: "I'm gonna dance." *nat 20*
    DM: "So Cadence manages to play down this crazy buffalo man, but then some even crazier shirt-and-tie wearing dude busts out some ridiculous moves and that's basically the only thing anyone in the room can focus on."
    Anwar (to Karak): "We're all going to die."

    Karak: "How did you manage to get things from the blacksmith?"
    Anwar: "I gave him money."
    Karak: "Huh. I wonder why none of us thought of that."
    Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow
    -Mark Twain

  14. - Top - End - #1244
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Strata: “Alright alright, so what's your opinion about commodifying basic necessities so you can keep paying off your debt interest in order to continue to rent them, and does this indicate any long term shift in the overall development of the rent economy and the blurring of personal and private property?”
    Viridia: “My opinion is I was too busy with your mom to come up with an opinion on that.”

    Doc: “Cydoc sounds like either something from Battlestar Galactica… or a He-Man character.”

    GM: “The bus arrives to the hospital in two days at the max.”
    Doc: “Two days to mess with schematic ideas? Cool. Choro, I know what we're going to do today!”
    GM: “No, Doc cannot be the head of a combining mecha utilizing the party's other cyborgs and robots.”
    Doc: “Aww, my pony Head Masters fanfic goes unfulfilled.”

    Doc: “Not sure what I'm looking at. My guess is Raven from Teen Titans with a hoard of socks?”
    GM: “Allegedly, that's a unicorn, but it's sufficiently blob-ish that now I'm not sure.”

    Viridia: “How many leaders do I have to depose before I get the Kingslayer achievement?”
    Stellar: “Only one - the one you're sworn to defend.”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  15. - Top - End - #1245
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    ClericGirl

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    East Coast, USA
    Gender
    Female

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Druid: I summon 6 swarms of bats. Portable cover b**ches!
    ********
    Pilot: Nah man, nah. Last time I went outside I got shot.
    **************
    Sorceror: So wait, this thing can turn into a trubuchet? LET'S PLAY FETCH WITH THE DRAGON!
    "What are you going to do, bludgeon it with a rake?"
    "Hold up, did we just get a defective pocket dragon?"
    Why are you advocating cutting off hands? You're a paladin! Who's your god, Orcus?"

  16. - Top - End - #1246
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Lord Raziere's Avatar

    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Male2Female

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Cyborg: "Look, I get it, you see society and you have the urge to crush all the injustices you see in it relentlessly and reform it into something better, I get that urge to, I call it Mondays, and Mondays suck I know. Much like this red bitch, she is like a walking Monday. Its hard to bear Mondays, but you have to, because the Tuesday through Friday girls aren't that bad in comparison and eventually you'll have a threesome with Saturday and Sunday and they're both sexy as hell. but if you destroy Monday, all the other day girls will hate you and you won't get that see? Okay, weird metaphor. Point is, you shouldn't kill her...."
    I'm also on discord as "raziere".


  17. - Top - End - #1247
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by banice View Post
    May Moon get to cuddle with an adorable bird one day.
    Haha, this will be a thing. Somehow. XD


    Doc: “Today I learned that in Edmonton (Canada), there is a herd of goats that work for the government. Their job is to eat the weeds in the parks, but I thought the idea of ‘Fed goats’ was relevantly amusing to our campaign.”
    GM: “You really can't trust goats. Nothing's stopping anyone from hiring ponies from picking out weeds in public parks, but instead they hired in herds of goats on the cheap. First they're eating weeds, next they'll bring in their dimension-traveling cities and necromantic goat overlords and then there goes the neighborhood, everything's ruined and there's lizard people and donkeys walking around.”

    Doc: “That outfit she's wearing is a crime.”
    GM: “Powerful unicorns in this setting are not known for their sense of good tastes; Choro might be the first.”

    Doc: “That has been an idea on my mind too. We’re PCs. Let’s just buy a town!”

    Bertly: “Shall I add an appointment for a product checkup to your itinerary?”
    Doc: “Sure, add an appointment. We might pass by one of the facilities on our way north.”
    Bertly: “Excellent! A booking is available within the next two hundred and fifty-seven years.”

    GM: “The last doc she knew probably would have made her fly with a freshly un-broken wing. It's still up in the air if Doc has more pegasi around him because he's killed other docs.”
    Doc: “So like in the Jet Li movie, The One, Doc is killing alternate dimension doctors for their pegasi?”
    GM: “Roughly.”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  18. - Top - End - #1248
    Pixie in the Playground
    Join Date
    Dec 2017

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "...I'm not sure what's worse: that you are calling a sixteen-year-old girl a cuckold, or that you are accurately calling a sixteen-year-old girl a cuckold."

    "Hold still while I stick this poster on the robot! It'll be great advertising! The first mobile billboard!"
    "Yes. That's exactly what I'm going to think. While I'm being chased down the street by a terrifying robot monstrosity my first thought will be 'once I'm done screaming and running for my life, you know what I need to do? go buy a newspaper!' "
    "Exactly!"

    "Awww, he wants to make friends."
    "On my leg! Get me a crowbar!!!"

  19. - Top - End - #1249
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    GM: “Maintaining the natural state of the globe would be a lot easier if humans would accept eating dry shrubs.”
    Doc: “Blech, I'll leave that to the goats and they can provide me cheese and meat instead.”
    GM: “If you add some pond water to it and turn it into smoothies, you could probably make bank.”

    Viridia: “Is anyone else looking for All-Bran Bonk or can Viridia go do that?”
    Doc: “Is that a who or a what?”

    Doc: “Okay, let’s see if I got this right on how the factions are coming together... Abbas is House, Halva represents the NCR, and the Olives are Caesar's Legion. All that's left is for Mirror to pull Doc aside and offer him the Wild Card questline to unlock the No Gods No Masters achievement.”
    GM: “Mirror isn't a Yes Mare, that's awful. She's Doc's horse-wife for goodness sakes.”
    Viridia: “I can't believe you've done this, Doc.”
    Doc: “Mirror might be shouting yes a few times when Doc beds her on their honeymoon.”
    GM: “…let’s stick with casual fantasy racism and the skirting of forum content rules.”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  20. - Top - End - #1250
    Titan in the Playground
     
    Necroticplague's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Don't worry, anybody. While a localized zombie apocalypse is entirely within my abilities, zombies aren't good at making booze, so doing so is against my best interests."
    Avatar by TinyMushroom.

  21. - Top - End - #1251
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Necroticplague View Post
    "Don't worry, anybody. While a localized zombie apocalypse is entirely within my abilities, zombies aren't good at making booze, so doing so is against my best interests."
    Uh... yay? For whatever reason I don't feel assured by this. ;)


    GM: “As previously established, charred meat shouldn't bring up images of love in this game.”

    Fan Knife: “Also, no killing in the hospital. If you just rough him up or you get him outside, that's good enough for me, but no killing.”
    Viridia: “Is there any way I can convince you to foalnap him outside so I can stab him here? I only know how to look hot and stab ponies.”
    Fan Knife: “Nope. If you get invested in what gangs do around here you'd lose you're mane. If you want to deal with him, you gotta do it on you're own terms.”
    Viridia: “My own terms would be killing him in there.”

    Viridia: “Sometimes I think you're the only one who understands me, voice in my head.”

    Viridia: “I wish we had more NPCs like Fan Knife and less like Army Butts.”
    GM: “I mean, Fan Knife is still a pretty huge jerk, it's just that Stitchheart exists and balances her out.”
    Viridia: “Yeah, but, like, she hasn't got any plans to go elsewhere and cause trouble.”
    GM: “'They're evil but they haven't done anything to us yet' describes, like, half the NPCs.”
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  22. - Top - End - #1252
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Rater202's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Where I am

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    If you want, I can probably try to check the campground's memory for whatever it is you... wait, have you not be hearing evil sounding whispering?"

    "I myself have heard nothing."

    "So... Two of us are hallucinating, but not the same thing... And we're at an abandoned campground near a lake while spooky stuff involving the spirit world is happening... And none of us can draw on our full power..."

    "...God damn it, we're in a ****ing horror movie."

    "Okay, it's usually the stereotypically behaving ethnic minority guy or the slutty girl that dies first, but we don't have any of those... then it's either the stoner, the jerk jock, or the openly gay person who may or may not be sassy... The virgin girl's usually safe, at least until the sequel... Children used to be safe but that's changed recently..."

    "My child, I don't think--"

    "Hang on, this is just about par for the course so far. Continue."

    "My child, we're not in a--"

    "Does being underage and a virgin trump being openly gay, sarcastic, and a tomboy?"

    "We are not in a horror film. The worst case scenario is that there's a feral Hollow, which I doubt, or perhaps, if the one man's words on the Soul King bear any fruit, a rogue Shinigami, interfering in the mortal world."

    "You mean a masked killer or someone who commonly carried sharp implements of pointy death?"

    "My child, you're aware that the term 'masked killer' applies equally to myself as it would to any hypothetical... Ah... You're going o be fine. There are no killers here--anyone who would pose a threat to one of us would be someone whose spirtual presence we could sense."
    I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.

    Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
    Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
    Spoiler: Ode To Meteors, By zimmerwald
    Show
    Quote Originally Posted by zimmerwald1915 View Post
    Meteor
    You are a meteor
    Falling star
    You soar your
    Way down the air
    To the floor
    Where my other
    Rocks
    Are.

  23. - Top - End - #1253
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGuy

    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rater202 View Post
    anyone who would pose a threat to one of us would be someone whose spirtual presence we could sense.
    Sounds like some soon to be famous last words.
    Yes, I am slightly egomaniac. Why didn't you ask?

    Free haiku !
    Alas, poor Cookie
    The world needs more platypi
    I wish you could be


    Quote Originally Posted by Fyraltari
    Also this isn’t D&D, flaming the troll doesn’t help either.

  24. - Top - End - #1254
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    toulouse
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    player: your mother's a goat!
    satyr: yes, your point being?
    player: ... i didn't expect that.
    Spoiler: quotes
    Show
    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  25. - Top - End - #1255
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NecromancerGirl

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Gender
    Male2Female

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Baeshra: Does the king have a stew pot?
    Guard: I would assume his cooks would have one.
    Baeshra: Because if he does, cousin Charles is going in the stew.

    Barmaid:...rare, medium rare, or well done?
    Baeshra(cheerfully): Rare!
    Barmaid(Taking a dead cousin Charles and cutting him up): ****ing hate lizardfolk...

    Guard: Your lizardfolk friend...
    Chipster: Yeah?
    Guard: He's different. I like him.
    Baeshra: *eating parts of dead people*

    OOC, but still weird/funny out of context
    DM: I like homebrew. It's how you get a marilith ranger that has an amulet which creates a dead magic zone 2 miles in radius. No banishing or murdering him!
    Me(unsure whether that's sarcasm or not): Yeah, I'm just reflavoring a greataxe to a massive meat cleaver. No new mechanics.
    Last edited by CosmicHobbit; 2018-12-03 at 07:04 PM.
    After 2 years of silence, I reappear!

    Place your bets now, how long until I disappear again

  26. - Top - End - #1256
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    DrowGuy

    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    toulouse
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    player: so is this medicinal weapons-grade nuclear material or irradiated weapons-grade nuclear material? i'm confused.
    dm: so am i.
    Spoiler: quotes
    Show
    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

    when in doubt,
    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard View Post
    Ask the beret wearing insect men of Athas.

  27. - Top - End - #1257
    Halfling in the Playground
     
    Flumph

    Join Date
    Apr 2016

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Sorcerer: "Can we go now?" He says salaciously.

  28. - Top - End - #1258
    Spamalot in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    DM: "Fish and chips as a palette cleanser?"

    Lobo: "Your patronus is a Bic lighter."

    Gypsy: "I'm afraid I'm catching dysentery just by looking at that laptop."

    Officer: "No, sir, it's not illegal to tow a boat, but we do require that you put it on a trailer first."

    Theodore: "A biker chick and the Union Jack walk into Scotland..."

    DM: "So you painted the truck as the Union Jack and put a Queen Elizabeth II bobble head on the dashboard."
    Lobo: "And the horn now plays God Save the Queen."
    DM: "Because of course it does."
    Digo Dragon - Artist
    D&D 5e Homebrew: My Little Pony Races

  29. - Top - End - #1259
    Titan in the Playground
     
    HalfTangible's Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    The Primus Imperium
    Gender
    Male

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    I'm reminded of something because of this:

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Officer: "No, sir, it's not illegal to tow a boat, but we do require that you put it on a trailer first."
    "Could you ask your friends to get out of the boat, please, sir? ... No I don't give a damn that the fish aren't bitin' could you ask your friends to get out of the boat?!"
    Hate me if you want. But that's your issue to fix, not mine.

    Primal ego vos, estis ex nihilo.

    When Gods Go To War comes out March 8th

    Discord: HalfTangible

    Extended Sig

  30. - Top - End - #1260
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TheTeaMustFlow's Avatar

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Perfidious Albion

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Valathar: I mean, they weren't that bad. They gave me some magic dice.

    Kassim: They tried to kill you! ...Admittedly, that's a fairly minor misdemeanour, but more importantly they tried to kill me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toby Frost
    `This is just the beginning, Citizens! Today we have boiled a pot who's steam shall be seen across the entire galaxy. The Tea Must Flow, and it shall! The banner of the British Space Empire will be unfurled across a thousand worlds, carried forth by the citizens of Urn, and before them the Tea shall flow like a steaming brown river of shi-*cough*- shimmering moral fibre!`

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •