Results 1,291 to 1,320 of 1476
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2018-12-05, 05:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
And now for something completely different...
Theodore: "Our troll is... aggressively clueless."
DM: "It's like I built them a Taco Bell and now i'm just here, waiting for them to explode."
Gypsy: "Did you know that there's Google review for the North Sea?"
Baby: "You're kidding."
Gypsy: "Here one-- 5/5 stars. The North Sea has all you desire from a sea; salt, wet, waves, fish, boats... the bonus is it separates us from Europe."
DM: "No, there are no bicycle paths through the North Sea."
Baby: "This is Boaty McBoatface hailing the HMS Queen Anne's Revenge II Part 6."
Theodore: "Next time *I* come up with the call signs."
DM: "Now I can't stop the image in my head of Genghis Khan in a 10-gallon hat."
Genghis Khan: "Okay partner. Draw!" (*shoots shortbow*)
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2018-12-07, 05:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Alchemist: "Chrysalis Doomsday Project. Takes one hundred thousands double A's, batteries not included"
(Note: It's the Chrysalis from Iron Gods, not MLP)
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2018-12-07, 07:47 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2018
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
The PC with the highest intelligence score in the party: So, 1250 each would give us each 1250 gold.
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2018-12-07, 05:19 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2018
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"Hey, if my friend comes by, tell him we're in the backroom?"
"Sure, what's he look like?"
"Well, he's tall, practically towers over everyone...brown hair, scar down his left cheek, carries a really big sword, wears a nosering..."
"Uh-huh."
"And has two horns sticking out of his head."
"Huh?"
"He's a Minotaur. Can't miss him."
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2018-12-07, 05:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2016
- Location
- Back home
- Gender
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2018-12-08, 07:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Spoiler: response
josé: *casts blistering invective*
dm: you throw the sickest burns you know and the mephits catch fire.
free: *casts blistering invective, but throwing bad jokes instead of insults*
dm: the mephits are laughing so hard they're in stitches.
grimm: no, that's after i'm done with them.
korinn: you don't have any aoe attacks.
grimm: sure i do. i call it "threat range". and it takes more turns and actions than you do.
dm: that's... optimistic?
kami: so, josé's got a climbing speed now? does it require him to take his pants off to work?
dm: uh, no it doesn't.
kami: then why are his pants on top of my head again?!
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2018-12-08, 11:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
GM: He rips his legs off, and as new ones grow in place, he dual wields them.
GM: As his legs clash with the polearm, sparks fly.
Findar: He's got thunder thighs?
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2018-12-09, 06:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2015
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
In the last session of of my homebrewed neon glow-in-the-dark pink mohawk shadowrun game
the shinto priest infused with the power of Mt. Fuji's land god moves to suppress a vortex of magic while the otaku mage is arguing with her mentor spirit about letting it consume the power.
the player playing a magical 3-headed cobra in a 3 headed mech: I see the potential power struggle and I want in. I run up to the magical vortex and poke it with my halberd.
DM (me): alright you pork the portal.
Player: I mean I guess that's how interdimensional portals are made.
DM between laughter: i meant poke the portal, roll me a save
player: using edge because I can,... 14
DM: well your essence and that of Hamtaro merges with Mecha Noodles
DM: *looks at notes and then scraps them* and I guess Danger noodle becomes a god, and so ends the campaign
Player: hah Ending hijacked again
*contents paraphrased due to my bad memory
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2018-12-10, 12:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
dm: dude, you can legit do kickflips with barnyard animals in pathfinder.
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2018-12-10, 02:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Spoiler: Couple responses
Strawberry: “Hey Enclaver, where'd you get the doombots?”
Moon: “We got them from zombie Celestia. She had a message for you, told you to go **** yourself.”
Strawberry: (*proceeds to glower at the white and grey skyline, and shook her head in clear annoyance*)
Viridia: “Would now be a good time to say she looks cute when she scowls? I don't think it is, but who knows when they're going to argue again?”
Viridia: “ANYONE WITH WORKING FEATHERS GET YOUR FLANKS UP HERE OR SO HELP ME CELESTIA THERE WILL BE SPANKINGS!”
Stellar: “You called?”
GM: “'Allusion and Advocacy in Media: Exploiting Inconsiderate Margins' seemed to be a bust, as the phrase 'camel media', while funny, didn't really seem relevant to anyone at all.”
Doc: “Right, guess this book can be used for kindling.”
GM: “It was sort of a shame that the other earth pony he knew who'd probably be up for hardcore farming was the one who nearly exploded from all the drugs she stuffed in her mouth about twelve hours ago.”
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2018-12-10, 09:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
GM: Hold on while I look up his hit points.
Hunter: Just set them to 0.
Ranger: Haha! Give him a chance.
GM: You hear a rumbling voice growl, "Who dares disturb my slumber?"
Wizard/Druid: I cast Sleep.
GM: "You disposed of that fool but now prepare for a real challenge! I am Orestes Zamucen, your destroyer!"
Wizard/Druid: I show him my middle finger and ask "Does this look familiar?"
Hunter: I ask him to repeat his name several times.
GM: Just...just go.
Hunter: Dammit, why didn't you tell us they could summon squid when we still had the catapult going? "Surrender or face bombardment by calamari!"
Wizard/Druid: Too bad Tom isn't here.
Druid: Yah he's bound to sexual servitude to a dryad.
Hunter: "We killed an antipaladin with an elk and magic missile!"
Hunter: Send in the wolverines!
Druid: Michigan?
Slayer: "Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting the University of Michigan marching band!"
GM: NO! Shut the phone off!Empyreal Lord of the Elysian Realm of Well-Intentioned Fail
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2018-12-14, 06:51 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2010
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Gene: Wait, so you're saying I'm not human?
DOCTOR: In a short term, yes. Thanks to your...unique origin, your entire genetic code basically popped up out of nowhere, and is entirely unique.
Gene: So, like a more extreme version of that Futurama plot point?
DOCTOR: Yes. Except instead of special brain portions, you have genes written entirely on a plasmid.Avatar by TinyMushroom.
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2018-12-14, 01:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
dm: please stop eating the demon babies.
josé: korinn, you're the second one to fist-f*** someone back to life!
dm: you make the fight look like an asterix cartoon.
free: i play the lyre to bolster morale!
kami and josé (ooc): *start playing their guitars*
kami: i can taste my organs! it tastes like failure!
grimm: whatever he touches, destroys him.
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2018-12-15, 05:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
- Location
- Terra Ephemera
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
DM: "That subvillain's got access to a helm of opposite allignment, remember?"
Player 1: "But she used that. Isn't that a single-use item?"
DM: "She's got one that can be resued."
Player 2: "Huh. Are you really sure you want us to have access to that sort of overpowered item?"
Player 1: "If he didn't want us to have it, he would have known better than to make it something we can loot from a villain."
DM: "Um... huh. ... huh."I'm not an evil GM! Honest!
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2018-12-17, 03:44 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2015
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Magic-User: "I throw three more darts at the pirate."
Thief: "Dude, how many darts do you have?"
Magic-User: *checks character sheet* "250"
Theif: "There's no way you aren't encumbered."
Magic-User: "Encumbered what now?"
DM: "How do you plan on carrying around 10,000 live pigeons?"
Ranger: "I fire an arrow at the nearest goblin."
DM: "OK, how many arrows do you have left?"
Ranger: "Ummm..."
DM: "You forgot to buy arrows, didn't you?"
Character Creation is a beautiful thing.
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2018-12-17, 08:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Spoiler: Responses
Moon: “There are more goats than I thought there would be.”
Strawberry: “Two wings are better than one. I mean, uh, two sets of wings.”
Strawberry: “I once saw a Stable pony get carried on a big couch outside of the Stable, and she was so fat she was like the three of us put together plus my sis and the horse. I seriously thought they were bringing out a big thing of whipped cream and it took me a while to find her head.”
GM: “What's a sysadmin but a computer janitor, really?”
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2018-12-18, 09:17 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2013
- Location
- Where I am
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Demon Girl: "...I don't want to alarm you, but I think there's a Non-Zero chance that my cousin Sabrina put a curse on you. She's been doing weird things like that ever since she got hit with that Grittiusrebooticus hex by her Ex-Husband Neticusflixicus, demon Lord of the Nith Circle of The Dark Demon Realm."
(Rater does not much care for the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. Doesn't much care for Riverdale, either. Rater knows that Afterlife with Archie sold well, but Rater also believes thattelling Horror Stories and gritty dramas with characters that are defined by being wholesome and family friendly is missing the god damn point.)I also answer to Bookmark and Shadow Claw.
Read my fanfiction here. Homebrew Material Here Rater Reads the Hobbit and Dracula
Awesome Avatar by Emperor Ing
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2018-12-19, 05:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
"A swarm of beetles, I need some DDT"
"They're observer robots. You don't need DDT, you need a DDoS"
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2018-12-20, 08:40 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Heh, clever.
GM: “Nah, she's an actual rotting corpse that doesn't smell, but has all the properties of a dead body when comedy is applied.”
Doc: “Moist, chunky comedy that requires dry cleaning.”
GM: “Strawberry knows Doc pony tricks, she used to hang out with one.”
Doc: “This one doesn't have experience exploding horse butt, though…”
Doc: “Why is everyone wearing skulls and leather? Was Hot Topic the only clothing chain to survive the bombs?”
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2018-12-21, 12:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
dm: no free, your sense of humor is not hellishly good. it's just hellish.
kami: fits right at home with josé's alignment!
grimm: i'm sorry i mistook you for a beggar girl korinn! it was the alcohol i swear!
dm: least. credible. excuse. ever.
josé: can i crowd-surf the horde of demons? i wanna feel popular once in my life.
dm: they recoil in terror screaming "the son of rosépine is among us!!"
josé: i don't know if i should feel like doomguy or just really proud of my dad.
korinn: i need to get drunk, punch out a dude, and get laid. right now.
dm: well, here's your chance to do it in that order. josé's started a bum-fight in champagne.
korinn ooc: tell me again why i never drink booze? guizonde's antics are depressing me.
kami: call 1-800-gib-money to help needy demons, veterans of our steamrolling into hell.
grimm: you've chained up our monk?! really? do you know how long those handcuffs will hold him?
kami, waking up and stretching: *ping* oh cool, i've got new bracelets!
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2018-12-22, 02:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
DM:"As you examine the leaf, you find out it's actually a sheet of paper*"
Paladin:"Ew, so he's a trap."
Spectator:"Should have known, he was too flat to be a she"
*Note: It's an italian pun, where "Foglio" (sheet) is written as if it was the male counterpart of "Foglia" (leaf)
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2018-12-24, 11:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Wizard: I cast create pit to capture the 4 aspis consortium guards. *all 4 fail the save*
Druid: I shapeshift into an air elemental, take the whirlwind form and enter the pit.
...(several rounds later)
Wizard: Well, we have answered the question of "Aspis Consortium guards: Will they blend!"
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2018-12-25, 09:15 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2017
- Location
- CLASSIFIED
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Stop using good evidence and logic that makes sense to refute points, that's my job
Lots of people seem to use blue for sarcasm, I decided I should too
I have joined the ranks of the FFRPeople Here is my character.
Thank you to Linkele for creating my avatar!
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2018-12-26, 01:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2017
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
(after ranting to the peanut gallery for several minutes about the module)
“...and if you wrote this, then I’m slightly sorry about everything I just said.”
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2018-12-28, 11:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Location
- toulouse
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
dm: ok, so the giant anvil falls on the boss...
baraz: it's so nice it's a free action!
leon: i said non-lethal!
nick: *stomps innocently*
leon: screw that guy in particular! *stomps on his arm*
nick: so is it lethal or not?
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2018-12-31, 09:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Rose: "Is the prisoner's power armor disabled?"
Love: "...Maybe. I didn't mention trying to lock her out or anything."
Rose: "Okay, I'll work on that with Keg. We need her naked."
[Beat]
Rose: "...phrasing."
Brazen: *eyebrow waggle*Last edited by DigoDragon; 2018-12-31 at 09:37 PM.
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2018-12-31, 10:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2016
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Monk: I trip the wizard.
Wizard: I accept the trip and go to mexico.
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2019-01-01, 10:25 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2014
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
From last night's Ravnica based 5e New Year Eve one-shot.
Spoiler: CastSimic (Dimir) Hybrid Druid/Rogue (me)
Golgari Centaur Druid/Fighter
Boros Minotaur Blaster Cleric
Selesina Minotaur Bard
Gruul Vashino Ranger
Guildless Human Warlock/Fighter
The druids are a couple sort of, the Minotaurs are cousins.
Running gag: Gruul Ranger: *whining* But fiiiiight.
Simic Druid: (about the relationship with the Golgari Druid) Our relationship is a bit complicated. The fact that we're both female is the least problematic thing about it.
Golgari Druid: We bonded over the fact that out pet names "My Little Project" and "Our Little Experiment" weren't that different.
Simic Druid: I'm more concerned about our respective mutations than the fact that she is a centaur and I have elf heritage (I think). For me there is also the matter that any physical relationship is also a potential copyright infringement.
Golgari Druid: Copyright infringement?
Simic Druid: "Can't reproduce without permission."
Golgari Druid: That is the most legalese double entendre I've ever heard.
GM: ...You take 10 damage.
Simic Druid: Hello sir or mam, might you be interested in our new and improved Aqueous Steed? Now with a more comfortable ride and increased carrying capacity and *continues sales pitch*. *is away from table helping with food* Could you roll my deception?
*two other players do so at the same time, both Nat 20*
GM: Well, it looks like you got the interest of a few people.
Simic Druid: Here where I say that the lie is that there is no satisfactory improvement over the old model. But I do like where my luck is headed.
Simic Druid: *Upon meeting the minotaur cousins* China shops of Ravnica beware.
Rakdos Cultist: *Casts Hideous Laughter* They say you can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish!
Simic Druid: *Nat 20 saving throw* That's racist!
Simic Druid: *upon reaching the roof of the building where the rest of the party just wiped out a group of enemies by trapping them in a wall of fire* I know we are fighting Rakdos cultists, but that is more sick than than the two guys using dead bodies as puppets I just defenestrated. *rolls deception*
GM: Yup, one of them totally wasn't still alive when you pulled their puppeteer out the window and fell screaming because the puppeteer was the only thing preventing them from falling to their death.
*Upon discussing plans on entering the building, either though the stairs from the roof, or through the window that was just cleared out*
Golgari Druid: I have Spider Climb so getting in through the window isn't a problem for me.
Simic Druid: The two of us also have have some experience with ropework.
Warlock/Fighter's Player: *the only other person to get the double entendre, gives a look but says nothing*
Simic Druid: *climbing on the ceiling and uses vine lash to drag an enemy towards the rest of the party* I just realized I built Spiderman.Last edited by gmoyes; 2019-01-01 at 10:37 AM.
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2019-01-01, 01:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2014
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
From Curse of Strahd:
"You can't just ask someone if they're a pastry child!"
All players, singing, "Creepy Greg is creepy, there's no denying that. He tried to grow a mustache; instead he grew a hat. Hey!"
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2019-01-02, 03:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
- Gender
Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.
Powder Keg: "How long's she going to be out?"
Rose: "Hard to say..." (*crit-success on healing check*)
GM: "The healing takes a hold immediately and makes a world of difference. Though still severe, her injuries no longer look absolutely disfiguring. However, her eyes snap open and slitted pupils recoil against the light."
Kirin prisoner: (snarling) "I'll beat you both apart. I'll take you both together!"
Powder Keg: "Guess not very long."
Kirin prisoner: (twitch) "Why won't my legs move?"
Powder Keg: "You've been mostly dead for about a quarter of an hour now."
Kirin prisoner: "Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on the ground? Where's Icefang?"
Rose: "Let me explain."
[Beat]
Rose: "No, there is too much. Let me sum up; I dug out this control chip from your neck. Icefang is with our other squad. We're here to free everyone from mind control. Ashtown is on fire. And we have maybe a little less than half an hour to get inside the main bunker before we die. So all we have to do is get in, break up the security, capture Hyper Thought, make our escape... after I kill Lord Polaris."