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  1. - Top - End - #181
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Gallade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "To expand my choice of monsters I can transform you into I'll need DNA from monstrous homanoids. We'll have to take some from any we encounter."
    "Roger, I'll start taking their heads with me every time."
    "Er...no need for that, you can just pick a strip of skin, a few drops of blood, a tuft of hair..."
    "Shh...you do your science, I do mine."

  2. - Top - End - #182
    Troll in the Playground
     
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    I see a spot labelled "FFFF". Maybe it's jerk-free?
    FFFF: F-ing Field Full of F-ing-Jerks?
    Just call me Diego. Mr. Havoc was my father.
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    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    Diego Havoc, one of the hoopier froods I've met, up there with DeLancie.



  3. - Top - End - #183
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    HalflingWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    I remember that map! It was amazing. Where are the PCs now?
    Ironically, a beef jerky factory ^^

  4. - Top - End - #184
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Inspector Valin View Post
    Ironically, a beef jerky factory ^^
    I know, I mean "where on the map is that?"

    ... I just noticed the pun.
    Last edited by goto124; 2017-07-13 at 08:58 PM.

  5. - Top - End - #185
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    HalflingWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    I know, I mean "where on the map is that?"

    ... I just noticed the pun.
    That was the main reason I commented!

    Well, we've mostly been in the eastern area. Just left the Jerk General Hospital. Before I joined they were moving between Jerkside, Jerkville and the unlabled Jerk Town. I'm not sure if we headed east or west from the hospital, in which case we'd be between Jerk 84, Ministry of Jerks and the lower pink Jerks, or west. In which case we'd sortabe somewhere on the lakefront.

  6. - Top - End - #186
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Gallade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Let me guess, this 'desert candy' I just ate is something horrible like caramelized scarab larvae, isn't it?"
    "Weeeell...not really. They're actually pupae."

  7. - Top - End - #187
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Inspector Valin View Post
    Well, we've mostly been in the eastern area. Just left the Jerk General Hospital. Before I joined they were moving between Jerkside, Jerkville and the unlabled Jerk Town. I'm not sure if we headed east or west from the hospital, in which case we'd be between Jerk 84, Ministry of Jerks and the lower pink Jerks, or west. In which case we'd sortabe somewhere on the lakefront.
    We went east, toward the lake.


    Choro: “Vindication! The Great Dichoro isn't quite as crazy and out there as I'd previously thought!”
    Doc: “You know, you can be right and still be crazy.”

    Stellar: “Sorry guys, finding it really hard to keep up at the moment.”
    Viridia: “There's a pill for that.”

    Moon: “I'd complain that Moonshadow still epically fails 10% on the time with Perception, despite having a maxed out score, but honestly that explains a lot about the show.”
    Doc: “On the bright side, Moon's failures are a lot softer. She crit-fails a Perception check and only face-plants into a cabinet. Doc misses his Perception by 1 and the hallway explodes.”

    Doc: “I think if Bertly got a synth pony body, he might look like this.”
    Viridia: “No painted-on tits. 0/10.”
    Doc: “Sorry Bertly. You heard the mare.”
    Bertly: “The things I put up with for you lot.”
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  8. - Top - End - #188
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    Inevitability's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    DM: And so begins the tale of *sigh* illithid Drizzt. I need to learn to say no.
    Gold: the color of lawful neutrality.

    Have you had enough of unreasonably high LA's and unplayable monsters in 3.5? Then check out the LA-assignment thread! Don't hesitate to give feedback!

    Extended signature!

  9. - Top - End - #189
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    Gallade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    " And there goes the only party member who used magic. All we have now is a mad fourth wall breaking overly good alchemist. Know what that means?"
    "That i can now quote Severus Snape! Ahem...there will be no waving wands or..."
    "And that's it, let's gag him."
    "But I haven't even had a redemption arc yet!"

    "I can cultivate his DNA. Where is his corpse?"
    "We got him cremated..."
    "Oh? Well then, where are his ashes?"
    "In the river."
    "Ugh...well, there must be a blood stain somewhere..."
    "No, remember? He died of poisoning, you were there."
    "Then what about that time he..."
    "They probably cleaned it off the bedsheets by now."
    "...er, that's a new one to me. I was referring to that time he spat in a church."
    "Okay then...pretend I was talking about that."

    "That dragon mutant is sca*y"
    "Did you say scaly or scary?"
    "Both."
    Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-15 at 05:59 AM.

  10. - Top - End - #190
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Nick: "I'm just waiting for my mechanic to come back and fix my oil leak."
    Digo: "How bad is it?"
    Nick: "Every time oil hits the engine manifold, I think a new pope is elected."

    Digo: "We figured out what that potion does, right?"
    Nick: "Yeah, it's a potion of cure light water."

    William: "I hope I can remember all that."
    Nick: "You will when you first get hit!" (*crit-punches William in the face*)

    Mel: "So I was even screwing myself over on my Saving Throws."
    Digo: "I feel that's my fault for not making out with you more."
    GM: "Stop channeling Quagmire!"

    GM: "William spends the evening preserving his hide."
    [Beat]
    William: "The landwyrm hide."

    Nick: "We found the Order of the Green Lawn Septic Tank."

    Ornate Door: "So door! Great make! Much steel!"

    Nick: "New rope smell, old world problems."

    Nick: "I think there's kobolds coming down the hallway."
    Table: *large box of Recces Pieces candy spills all over the battlemat*
    Nick: "Oh my god, they're everywhere! They got a candy coating!"

    Digo: "Alright, let's go. I shove the mages through."
    GM: "Oh no. Armond is not that dumb. He resists."
    Chris: "I'm not that brand of stupid either."
    Digo: "Fine. I go through and take the healers with me."
    Armond: "...well played."

    Digo: "The positions of the two wizards makes it look like they're about to high-five each other."
    Nick: "Yeah, but with their poor attack rolls, they both miss."

    Intelligent Spear: "I'm a proctologist, lizard lovers! Turn and cough!!"

    Nick: "Here, hold this."
    Lizardfolk: *holds his healing potion*
    Nick: *double crit-punches lizardfolk's face*
    Lizardfolk: *gives potion back, falls over*
    Nick: *drinks potion*

    Mel: "What did I miss?"
    Nick: "Two lizardfolk. Try rolling higher."
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2017-07-16 at 10:55 AM.
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  11. - Top - End - #191
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Bertly: “The things I put up with for you lot.”
    1) This pics doesn't seem to be on your Deviantart page for some reason, is it private or something?

    2) I have questions about pony biology.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Nick: "I'm just waiting for my mechanic to come back and fix my oil leak."
    Digo: "How bad is it?"
    Nick: "Every time oil hits the engine manifold, I think a new pope is elected."
    I think I know exactly what Nick needs.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Digo: "We figured out what that potion does, right?"
    Nick: "Yeah, it's a potion of cure light water."
    The fact that it's a potion of cure light water instead of just a potion of cure light reminds me of this.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Nick: "I think there's kobolds coming down the hallway."
    Table: *large box of Recces Pieces candy spills all over the battlemat*
    Nick: "Oh my god, they're everywhere! They got a candy coating!"
    I hope you guys ate the kobolds whenever you killed them, just like the saucisson party.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Digo: "The positions of the two wizards makes it look like they're about to high-five each other."
    Nick: "Yeah, but with their poor attack rolls, they both miss."
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Doc: (Checks stats) “Moonshadow has Unarmed 14, Melee 8, and Doc has Unarmed 12, Melee 9. So Doc and Moon can get themselves into a drunken brawl against each other, and end up not even touching one another?”

  12. - Top - End - #192
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

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    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    1) This pics doesn't seem to be on your Deviantart page for some reason, is it private or something?
    It's in the Stash, which is private until I actually "post" the image. You can view them if you have the direct link.


    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    LOL. I'm forwarding that to him. XD


    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    The fact that it's a potion of cure light water instead of just a potion of cure light reminds me of this.
    That is about the right level of loot we typically find in dungeon encounters.



    Digo: "This was an old stable for giant spiders about a decade ago. I found spider harness and saddles."
    Nick: "My woogie-woogie feeling says there's Drow here."
    Digo: "Your woogie-woogie feeling is about 10 years too late."
    Mel: "Maybe they all turned into driders?"
    Digo: "That leaves even more questions!"

    Mel: "Ow! Son of a motherless goat!!"

    GM: "You never use the Hide skill."
    Mel: "Yes I did."
    GM: "I don't remember you using Hide once. Jekyll either."

    GM: "Hobbs is going to charge into the room."
    Mel: "Can Hobbs even fit?"
    Digo: "He's a large, white Siberian tiger. Hobbs will make himself should fit!"

    Digo: "Look out! Here. Comes. Hobbs!!"
    Hobbs: *bursts through the wooden door* "OH YEAH!!"

    GM: "The mimic is feeling all chesty and stuff, so he starts punching."

    Nick: Dude, you just smeared a gnome!"
    Digo: "Bah, they're a dime a dozen."
    Nick: "Meanie! They're gonna unionize and then kick you in the crotch!"
    GM: "Gnomes don't need a union to kick people in the crotch."
    Digo: "Without a ladder they're not."

    Mel: "My name is Mel Stormshadow! You killed my mimic, prepare to die!"
    Mel: *goes Barbarian Rage despite having no class levels in Barbarians and proceeds to max out damage rolls*
    Freya: (*taps Digo on the shoulder*) "Uh, is that your wife?"
    Digo: "I am not sure..."

    Nick: "Pungent Sound with a picture of a fist. When it absolutely has to taste like the ocean."

    Digo: "Okay, Nick. I'll open the door. If there's a monster inside, you--"
    Nick: "I shove you in there, right?"
    [Beat]
    Digo: "I pick up Nick, place him in front of the door, and I go stand where he was."
    Digo: "Okay, Nick. You open the door. If there's a monster inside..."
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  13. - Top - End - #193
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Gallade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Scarlet was the only one to fight Vertas the Dragon, right? She MUST know how to defeat him!"
    "Yeah...can't tell you much about it right now though, that would spoil it."
    "Okay, first thing first I get an audience with her and say 'GIMME ALL YOUR SPOILERS MLADY!'"

  14. - Top - End - #194
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Guizonde's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Nick: "I think there's kobolds coming down the hallway."
    Table: *large box of Recces Pieces candy spills all over the battlemat*
    Nick: "Oh my god, they're everywhere! They got a candy coating!"
    ah, 4th wall breaks... never gets old.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124
    I hope you guys ate the kobolds whenever you killed them, just like the saucisson party
    that'd be me, believe me, as soon as food hits the battlemap, you'd think the players were in a free-for-all and not in a team game!

    Digo: "Alright, let's go. I shove the mages through."
    GM: "Oh no. Armond is not that dumb. He resists."
    Chris: "I'm not that brand of stupid either."
    Digo: "Fine. I go through and take the healers with me."
    Armond: "...well played."
    "sighing deeply, i grab the healers and think of england."

    Intelligent Spear: "I'm a proctologist, lizard lovers! Turn and cough!!"
    i don't know how, but i'm pretty sure my dm has preemptively banned me from naming my weaponry like that... shame, really. it'd give my victims forewarning. i'll still try it though, because after 5 minutes i'm still snickering!
    Nick: "Here, hold this."
    Lizardfolk: *holds his healing potion*
    Nick: *double crit-punches lizardfolk's face*
    Lizardfolk: *gives potion back, falls over*
    Nick: *drinks potion*
    pretty sure my teammates pulled that one on at least one occasion. very film noir meets looney tunes. i love it!
    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

  15. - Top - End - #195
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Intelligent Spear: "I'm a proctologist, lizard lovers! Turn and cough!!"
    Funny you should say that one:

    Rivit: "You're never touching mechs ever again!"
    Wyzz: "Why not, we won, didn't we?"
    Rivit: "You gave the kaiju an Evangelion sized rectal exam!"

    Ghost Solvo: "Ah, my old foe, we meet again."
    Wyzz: "Solvo? I thought we killed you!"
    Ghost Solvo: "Oh, you did. Let me return the favor."

    Buster: "So your nemesis is a ghost now?"
    Wyzz: "Seems like it."
    Buster: "How do we deal with him?"
    Wyzz: "Rootbeer."

    Dealer: As you walk down the cave, you notice several messages scrawled all over the place.
    Buster: What do they say?
    Dealer: *sets stack of notecards on table* Take your pick.
    Nyfe: *takes a card* "Danger ahead."
    Buster: *takes a card* "Beware of stabbing in the back*
    Sypher: *takes a card* Says this one's by a pile of bones. "Don't give up Skeleton!"
    Wyzz: *takes a card* Says the same on this one. "Try finger but hole...what?"
    Rivit: *takes a card* This one's by a ledge: "Shortcut ahead, try Jumping. Ok then!"
    Rest of group: "NO!"
    Last edited by ZeroGear; 2017-07-17 at 12:01 AM.
    If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.

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  16. - Top - End - #196
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    Gallade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Look, I don't see anything wrong with premarital sex, for all I care you can do it both before and after marriage. Just, for the love of the gods, don't do it DURING the wedding ceremony."

  17. - Top - End - #197
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Eldan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    M'naji (Player 1): "So. This group is hiring. Tell us about your experiences with ships."
    Gilbert le Roux: "I served on a war galley for six weeks during the war. We sunk three elven ships."
    Thalassa: "I served 15 years as first mate and navigator on the Black Falcon out of the Imperial City."
    J'Rashka: "This one served on trade ship. Ship sank. Then this one served on other trade ship. Was accidentally impounded by Imperial Revenue service. Then served on other trade ship. Is not important where ship is now. J'Rashka does not know.
    J'Rashka does many great deeds on sea. Once steers three pirate ships at once after we defeat in battle. All ships are on beach now. Not an accident, this one does on purpose. Is an orphanage now, because J'Rashka is generous hero."
    M'naji, whispering to the rest of the party: "This one thinks we should hire J'Rashka. This one likes him."


    Later...
    Thierry (Player 2): "So, we thought one of them was a traitor."
    DM: "Yup"
    Thierry: "They were all traitors."
    DM: "Yup."
    Thierry: "The Khajiit. I mean, he was obvious,."
    DM: "Yup."
    Thierry: "And the Breton Knight Errant."
    DM: "Yup."
    Thierry: "And the straight-laced, boring navigator lady."
    DM: "Yup."
    Thierry: "And the cook."
    DM: "Yup."
    Thierry: "And the scholar who paid 2000 septim for passage."
    DM: "Yup."
    Thierry: "And his bodyguard."
    DM: "Mhm."
    Thierry: "And the plucky young orphan we hired as a ship's boy."
    DM: "Was an assassin, yes."
    Thierry: "You're an utter bastard. Also, remind me to never again piss off the merchant bank."
    “It’s honest. What our religion tells us, the part that is a religion, is that the gods created life to try and make meaning. It’s ultimately hopeless, and even gods die, but the effort is real. Will always have been real, even when everything is over and no one remembers.”
    -The Litany of Earth, Ruthanna Emrys

  18. - Top - End - #198
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "Okay, first thing first I get an audience with her and say 'GIMME ALL YOUR SPOILERS MLADY!'"
    LOL, what a way to open up conversation.


    Quote Originally Posted by Guizonde View Post
    ah, 4th wall breaks... never gets old.
    Nope, they never do. ^_^



    Quote Originally Posted by Guizonde View Post
    "sighing deeply, i grab the healers and think of england."
    All I could think of was burgers. It's hard to dungeon delve on an empty stomach. Luckily we found a stocked kitchen, so we freed the enslaved cooks and asked for a sandwich as payment.


    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroGear View Post
    Rivit: "You gave the kaiju an Evangelion sized rectal exam!"
    Ow.


    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroGear View Post
    Buster: "So your nemesis is a ghost now?"
    Wyzz: "Seems like it."
    Buster: "How do we deal with him?"
    Wyzz: "Rootbeer."
    I got that reference! :D


    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "Look, I don't see anything wrong with premarital sex, for all I care you can do it both before and after marriage. Just, for the love of the gods, don't do it DURING the wedding ceremony."
    Yikes, they really had a thing going on between them.


    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    Thierry: "You're an utter bastard. Also, remind me to never again piss off the merchant bank."
    Heh, good advice. Especially when they got your money.



    Viridia: “Can somebody pleaaaaase roll Survival for the safe? I have low Survival.”
    Choro: “Is it lower than [my] 3?”

    Doc: “Well killbot and meatbag just crit succeeded on studying the samples.”

    Choro: “Also, Killbot and Meatbag; add it to the list of musical act names!”

    Doc: “Don't let your other blades get jelly.”
    Viridia: “Viridia won't let them have jelly. She's coming for that jelly. And by ‘jelly’, I mean booty. Sexually.”
    GM: *jelly.gif*

    Viridia: “In case it's not obvious, I'm not a robot. I don't know the slang. Why don't you lead and I'll jump in when I need to?”
    Bertly: “I... would prefer some degree of privacy, if I may? It has been quite a while since I could talk to another robot.”
    Viridia: “Ohhh, I see. You like a bulky chassis, huh? Go get him, tiger.” (bops hips with Bertly)
    Bertly: *sputtering noise, leaves room faster than she could say 'Robo Bachelor'*
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  19. - Top - End - #199
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    Miltonian's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Hello everyone. Been a while, but I finally found something that I had to share.

    Sniper Scope: Is it bad that my first thought is of Love reenacting Beauty and the Beast in her lab? It would have all the animated lab equipment singing "Be Our Guest" around mutilated pony jars filled with the results of experiments gone awry?
    Rose: Well now I cannot unsee it. I totally accept this as headcanon.
    GM: Meanwhile, Star Chaser dreams of big, fluffy pillows and hyperdrives.
    Rose: FTL - Fluffier Than Light?
    "If it has stats, we can kill it!"

    "Dude, we have stats."

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  20. - Top - End - #200
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    Gallade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "She's tiny but with a huge head. She wears a bridal veil, meaning she probably scalped some poor sod on the day of her marriage and wore it ever since. She likes to torture bugs, skin dogs alive and drinks cologne, making her both drunk and smell pretty. Please, I want her forever."
    Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-17 at 12:26 PM.

  21. - Top - End - #201
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Miltonian View Post
    Sniper Scope: Is it bad that my first thought is of Love reenacting Beauty and the Beast in her lab? It would have all the animated lab equipment singing "Be Our Guest" around mutilated pony jars filled with the results of experiments gone awry?
    Rose: Well now I cannot unsee it. I totally accept this as headcanon.
    GM: Meanwhile, Star Chaser dreams of big, fluffy pillows and hyperdrives.
    Rose: FTL - Fluffier Than Light?
    For when you're a heavy sleeper and need the comfort? ;)


    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "She's tiny but with a huge head. She wears a bridal veil, meaning she probably scalped some poor sod on the day of her marriage and wore it ever since. She likes to torture bugs, skin dogs alive and drinks cologne, making her both drunk and smell pretty. Please, I want her forever."
    You can have her. O.o



    "You pickpocket the Gargoyle. You steal a rock!"
    "Um. I think you stole his left nut."
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  22. - Top - End - #202
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "She's tiny but with a huge head. She wears a bridal veil, meaning she probably scalped some poor sod on the day of her marriage and wore it ever since. She likes to torture bugs, skin dogs alive and drinks cologne, making her both drunk and smell pretty. Please, I want her forever."
    Reta does have a certain allure...


    DM: Well, everyone made their saves against the large noxious cloud GoblinBard left, except NecroGnome. No wait, you're fine too. You don't breathe.

    Creepy Village Elder: So, who will honor the bargain, and provide our daughters with new blood?
    ElfKnight: Sorry, I'm Betrothed.
    MonkeyMonk: Ascetic.
    PalaDwarf: Oathbound.
    FairyHalfling: Female.
    GoblinBard: [Hiding].
    NecroGnome: I'm up- (whisper)... actually, I'm not up. Ever. (sadface).

    MonkeyMonk: What about DuelistDude? That's kind of his thing.
    DM: So once again, the absent player gets thrown under the bus.

    DM ...as a form rises up, like a giant eel made of water-
    NecroGnome Nope! I jump in my bag of holding and sew it shut behind me.

    NecroGnome: Why do you keep throwing encounters at us when we're in boats?
    DM: To be fair, you did have other options to travel to the mountain. You guys picked "go up river."
    Last edited by Joe the Rat; 2017-07-18 at 02:26 PM.
    Why yes, Warlock is my solution for everything.

    Quote Originally Posted by obryn View Post
    Active Abilities are great because you - the player - are demonstrating your Dwarvenness or Elfishness. You're not passively a dwarf, you're actively dwarfing your way through obstacles.

  23. - Top - End - #203
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Lord Torath's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Joe the Rat View Post
    DM ...as a form rises up, like a giant eel made of water-
    NecroGnome Nope! I jump in my bag of holding and sew it shut behind me.

    NecroGnome: Why do you keep throwing encounters at us when we're in boats?
    DM: To be fair, you did have other options to travel to the mountain. You guys picked "go up river."
    NecroGnome wouldn't happen to be played by JAL, would he? They both seem to share a similar fear of water encounters...
    Thri-Kreen Ranger/Psionicist by me, based off of Rich's A Monster for Every Season

  24. - Top - End - #204
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    Gallade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "We got past ONE mecha-cerberus, and even then just barely. What are we going to do if we encounter, say, seven of them at once?"
    "...throw 21 mecha-squeaky bones at them?"

    "Well, by the next few levels all our alignments will be pretty much Jackass Good, but on the bright side, we'll have a mecha-dragon jet liner!"
    "Not me though! I'll stay LG, thank you very much."
    "You spineless snitch! You know what this means? It means you don't get to ride shotgun!"
    "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

    "Screw the rules, my hair is a plant."
    Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-18 at 06:00 PM.

  25. - Top - End - #205
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Joe the Rat View Post
    Creepy Village Elder: So, who will honor the bargain, and provide our daughters with new blood?
    FairyHalfling: Female.
    Creepy Village Elder: Wear this Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity. I'll cast Remove Curse once you're done.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "...throw 21 mecha-squeaky bones at them?"
    *squeak* x21
    Last edited by goto124; 2017-07-19 at 12:19 AM.

  26. - Top - End - #206
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    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Spoiler: Responses!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe the Rat View Post
    DM: So once again, the absent player gets thrown under the bus.
    This happens a lot in my local group. Funnier if we NPC the missing player's character and they perform a lot better. XD


    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "You spineless snitch! You know what this means? It means you don't get to ride shotgun!"
    "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
    If you're gonna go LG, you gotta go Paladin to get your own mount. Otherwise, you're gonna miss out of the cool rides.


    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    Creepy Village Elder: Wear this Girdle of Femininity/Masculinity. I'll cast Remove Curse once you're done.
    I had randomly given out one of those in a loot pile to a group and OMG, they abused the ever-loving Ehlonna out of that belt. XD

    The guys used to so they can vamp guards for info/money/favors and the ladies used it to sneak into gentlemen clubs and rob them blind. Like, how did this one curse item become their ticket to turning the team into a thieves guild? XD Eventually they got bored with it and gave it away to some random farmer. Yeah, how generous.



    Moonshadow: *approached the computer, hoping to find something useful like a shiny red self-destruct button*

    GM: “You're not my real dad!”
    Viridia: “You'd best hope not, else you'd be half-silicone.”

    GM: “The other alternative would be to reduce [Mirror Armor] to a plot object with special McGuffin powers, which is boring.”
    Doc: “She has special McGuffin powers. Even says so on her character sheet’s Magic section.”
    Mirror Armor’s character sheet: “Crystal Magic: Many effects, depending on the plot!

    Moon: “Yeah, I get that. Doc is easy, he's a Doctor. Choro is easy, she'd study magic and artifacts. Viridia is easy, she'd be seducing mares everywhere. Stellar is much more difficult I think.”

    Viridia: “Disclaimer: Viridia has been eighteen since the game started. Please do not attempt to re-create anything she's done if you're under 18, else you'll go blind!”

    Choro: “Hmm... does that mean we should disguise ourselves as a comedy group? You know, if we ever need a disguise.”
    Doc: *looks at what Choro is wearing*
    Doc: *says nothing*
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  27. - Top - End - #207
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    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    The guys used to so they can vamp guards for info/money/favors and the ladies used it to sneak into gentlemen clubs and rob them blind. Like, how did this one curse item become their ticket to turning the team into a thieves guild? XD Eventually they got bored with it and gave it away to some random farmer. Yeah, how generous.
    Did you tell the guys they didn't need to change sex for guard vamping to work?

    What setting is it? 18th century Britain?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Doc: “She has special McGuffin powers. Even says so on her character sheet’s Magic section.”
    Mirror Armor’s character sheet: “Crystal Magic: Many effects, depending on the plot!
    Future GMPC right there! Aren't you glad she's your PC's fiancée?

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Doc: *looks at what Choro is wearing*
    Doc: *says nothing*
    What was/is Choro wearing?

    I read the thread, the biotech cattle feed is right out of a horror game, and if I knew anything about horror games it's that (touch wood!) eventually someone will eat it and the protagonists will have to find a cure before it's too late. Nevermind the effects of its intended use.

    Doc has thermal and nightvision enhancements!
    Last edited by goto124; 2017-07-19 at 07:36 AM.

  28. - Top - End - #208
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    HalflingWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    What was/is Choro wearing?
    Spoiler: Choro for Context!
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    "Well, I'm a wizard, so feel that it's my responsibility to dress appropriately. How else would ponies know who to turn to when magical catastrophy happens? However my Stable didn't really have wizard robes in my size (and neither did the Fallout Equestria RPG rules) so I had to improvise a little. I sewed my big pointy hat myself, but I wasn't really up to making a robe from scratch. So I dyed a lab coat blue, cut off a few little bits, and embroidered a very nice star design on it. A combination of old and new, for the modern wizard."

    "But somehow nopony takes me seriously! It's infuriating! I try to be nice about it, but really, they act like I'm a filly in fancy dress." *pouts*

  29. - Top - End - #209
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    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Oh my goodness, it's the wizard herself! Please don't Fireball me!

    ... actually, is Choro even an actual Wizard? I seem to remember Digo... Doc telling me that the only magic in the setting was unicorn magic, and the creepy evil voodoo magic.

  30. - Top - End - #210
    Troll in the Playground
     
    HalflingWizardGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    Oh my goodness, it's the wizard herself! Please don't Fireball me!

    ... actually, is Choro even an actual Wizard? I seem to remember Digo... Doc telling me that the only magic in the setting was unicorn magic, and the creepy evil voodoo magic.
    Spoiler: More Context from Choro
    Show
    "Not an actual wizard?! I.... do you even see this hat? Pointy hat! Who other than a Wizard wears a pointy..."

    "Sorry, sorry. Yes, I'm a wizard, though that might not mean what you think it does. I'm a unicorn who studies magic. There's plenty of unicorns who do that, and most wouldn't call themselves wizards these days. It's more a question of philosophy, approach and what material you work with. Occultists use old rituals, repeated just as so without understanding why they work. They're the crazy cultist type of magic-ponies. Scientists work to quantify magic, imposing more rules and ideas on it. They're about as crazy as occultists, but are better at hiding it and dressing well. Wizardry came between the two historically, and is roughly a midpoint. We codify, we theorize, but we don't go out of control crazy about it in the way scientists do. And we didn't destroy the world, thank you very much."

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