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  1. - Top - End - #211
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Inspector Valin View Post
    Spoiler: Choro for Context!
    Show
    "Well, I'm a wizard, so feel that it's my responsibility to dress appropriately. How else would ponies know who to turn to when magical catastrophy happens? However my Stable didn't really have wizard robes in my size (and neither did the Fallout Equestria RPG rules) so I had to improvise a little. I sewed my big pointy hat myself, but I wasn't really up to making a robe from scratch. So I dyed a lab coat blue, cut off a few little bits, and embroidered a very nice star design on it. A combination of old and new, for the modern wizard."

    "But somehow nopony takes me seriously! It's infuriating! I try to be nice about it, but really, they act like I'm a filly in fancy dress." *pouts*
    Quote Originally Posted by Inspector Valin View Post
    Spoiler: More Context from Choro
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    "Not an actual wizard?! I.... do you even see this hat? Pointy hat! Who other than a Wizard wears a pointy..."

    "Sorry, sorry. Yes, I'm a wizard, though that might not mean what you think it does. I'm a unicorn who studies magic. There's plenty of unicorns who do that, and most wouldn't call themselves wizards these days. It's more a question of philosophy, approach and what material you work with. Occultists use old rituals, repeated just as so without understanding why they work. They're the crazy cultist type of magic-ponies. Scientists work to quantify magic, imposing more rules and ideas on it. They're about as crazy as occultists, but are better at hiding it and dressing well. Wizardry came between the two historically, and is roughly a midpoint. We codify, we theorize, but we don't go out of control crazy about it in the way scientists do. And we didn't destroy the world, thank you very much."
    The great and powerful Trixie called, she'd like her wardrobe back.
    ...Thinking about it now, I'm surprised the Goddess Allicorns haven't tried blasting Choro yet.
    If there is anything I learned from D&D, it is to never bull rush a Gelatenous Cube.

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    Project Loreshift, game development in Progress

    Races of Wake

    Wake Human subspecies


    Anyone who reads this has just lost "the Game".

  2. - Top - End - #212
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Miltonian's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    And some more quotes!

    Brazen: Just what have ya'll gotten us into?
    Rose: Combat Box Fort! :D
    Sniper Scope: We're presently building a box fort. Up next is cage match pillow fighting.
    DM: Well you're not ENTIRELY wrong.

    Rose: Well now Rose has a new goal in life. Cybernetic rocket legs for epic pillow bucking.
    "If it has stats, we can kill it!"

    "Dude, we have stats."

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    EDF Current Mission Info

  3. - Top - End - #213
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    TurboGhast's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Varis: What's beneath the floating islands we're on?
    DM: A void.
    Varis: What does the void look like?
    DM: The void's endless.
    Varis: But what does it look like?
    *DM draws spiral on the battle mat*
    Link to true signature
    Feel free to sig anything I post, just do so in quote format.

  4. - Top - End - #214
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Thank you Inspector Choro! That really clears things up.
    Last edited by goto124; 2017-07-23 at 06:45 AM.

  5. - Top - End - #215
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Spoiler: Responses!
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    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    Did you tell the guys they didn't need to change sex for guard vamping to work?
    No, I was too occupied with the ludicrous turn of events my campaign took.


    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    Future GMPC right there! Aren't you glad she's your PC's fiancée?
    I'm cautiously optimistic.


    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroGear View Post
    The great and powerful Trixie called, she'd like her wardrobe back.
    Pffft, haha! Right? XD


    Quote Originally Posted by Miltonian View Post
    Rose: Well now Rose has a new goal in life. Cybernetic rocket legs for epic pillow bucking.
    This sounds so much dirtier without context.


    Quote Originally Posted by TurboGhast View Post
    *DM draws spiral on the battle mat*
    Heh, works!



    Choro: “I still don't buy the flooding story. It might be true, but Thanatos doesn't strike me as a trustworthy pony. And keeping the captives down there, near the server and toxic waste, when there's a perfectly good set of unused holding cells up here?”
    Doc: “Play Fallout 3 for a few hours. You’ll see how logic works in these kind of stories. That or you slam your forehead against your monitor a few times.”

    Quote: “It might be true, but _______ doesn't strike me as a trustworthy pony.”
    GM: “Made it a multi-purpose form, for further use.”

    GM: “Treating unicorns as adorable is how countries are ruined, though. I mean, sure, they’re cute, but it's pretty clear that it just takes one to ruin everything.”
    Viridia: “Give a unicorn fifteen minutes with Viridia alone at any time, and she'll [show] her what's really worth fighting for.” *wink*

    GM: “I'm just a tulpa or something, I got nothing.”

    Doc: “Need a Moonshadow for this. Or a really good industrial drill.”
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  6. - Top - End - #216
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Doc: “Play Fallout 3 for a few hours. You’ll see how logic works in these kind of stories. That or you slam your forehead against your monitor a few times.”
    I seem to remember reading a long article on how the plot of one of the Fallout games made no sense. Something about the Enclave chasing after a water facility they don't need.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Quote: “It might be true, but _______ doesn't strike me as a trustworthy pony.”
    GM: “Made it a multi-purpose form, for further use.”
    Wonder what the GM is trying to tell us...

    And you forgot this:

    Doc: *ideas about haunting spirits*
    GM: Hee. Hee hee. Hoo hoo hoo.
    Last edited by goto124; 2017-07-20 at 09:10 AM.

  7. - Top - End - #217
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    I seem to remember reading a long article on how the plot of one of the Fallout games made no sense. Something about the Enclave chasing after a water facility they don't need.
    It's worse than that. The central conflict have all factions trying to activate a facility while preventing other factions from doing the exact same thing. The facility in question is a water purification station that will benefit everyone regardless of who pushes the button.
    The fact people apparently live just fine without it is a minor plothole by comparison.
    Yes, I am slightly egomaniac. Why didn't you ask?

    Free haiku !
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  8. - Top - End - #218
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    NinjaGirl

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    I only remember two factions in Fallout 3 (Enclave and Lion's Pride), and the conflict between them boiled down to
    Spoiler: Spoilers. Actual game spoilers..if you care
    Show

    The Enclave wanted to poison the water so that any thing with genetic mutations due to the radiation (i.e.
    Most people, ghouls, Super Mutants, Possibly the Lone Wanderer herself if you did a particular questline,
    and others would die upon drinking it.
    The Lion's Pride was basically a Apocalyptic good faction of the Brotherhood of Steel and wanted to actually improve the standard of living in the Capital Wasteland.

    While this is in theory the same Lion's Pride that would later feature in Fallout 4, Maxson has taken them far from Lion's Doctrines and closer to traditional Brotherhood of Steel values at that point.

  9. - Top - End - #219
    Halfling in the Playground
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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    I seem to remember reading a long article on how the plot of one of the Fallout games made no sense. Something about the Enclave chasing after a water facility they don't need.
    Since we're going a bit off-topic:
    Spoiler
    Show
    I believe the particular series is here: https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=27085

    I particularly liked the summation of the main plot at the end:

    "Dad built a water purifier that didn’t work, for people that didn’t need it, and then made it release radiation it shouldn’t have, to prevent it from falling into the hands of people trying to fix it. This killed the man who had no reason to sabotage it and didn’t kill Colonel Autumn, who had no means to survive. This put the Enclave – an army with no reason to attack – in charge of the purifier, which was of no value to them. Then the player entered vault 87 to recover a GECK, a magical matter-arranger that they shouldn’t need and that would be better put to use in virtually any possible manner besides fixing the purifier. Colonel Autumn, who shouldn’t be alive, captured the player with a flash grenade that shouldn’t have worked that was thrown by soldiers who had no way to get there. The final battle was a war between the Enclave and the Brotherhood of Steel, to see which one would get to commit suicide trying to turn on the purifier that neither of them needed. This resulted in more sabotage that threatened to explode a device that shouldn’t be explode-able, ending with the death of the player character, who had the means to survive but didn’t, and who was never given a good reason for doing any of this."

  10. - Top - End - #220
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    That's the article I read! Glad to remember where I got it from.
    Last edited by goto124; 2017-07-23 at 06:48 AM.

  11. - Top - End - #221
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    GrayGriffin's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Team Predator vs. A Bunch of Predator Racists"

    "Y'all are going to have to watch Zootopia for sensitivity training."
    Quote Originally Posted by The Giant View Post
    Also, as a rule of thumb, if you find yourself defending your inalienable right to make someone else feel like garbage, you're on the wrong side of the argument.
    Currently playing as Atalanta/Artemis in Arcran's Pocket Monsters Online! (OOC|IC)

  12. - Top - End - #222
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Gallade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Slap me in the face with reality before I turn this entire campaign into Toy Story 5"

    "Nobody is tricking anyone into soiling a sandwich on MY watch!"

    "You're ruining my campaign and I LOVE IT."

    "You got a stalker who sleeps under your bed and may or may not actually be a horrible fey monster. Top waifu material there!"
    "What does she even look like?"
    "Give us a sketch."
    (One display of terrible drawing skill later)
    Spoiler
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    "Yeaaah, she's totally about to molest/eat that butterfly. Adorable!"
    Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-21 at 06:14 AM.

  13. - Top - End - #223
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    Eldan's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cazero View Post
    It's worse than that. The central conflict have all factions trying to activate a facility while preventing other factions from doing the exact same thing. The facility in question is a water purification station that will benefit everyone regardless of who pushes the button.
    The fact people apparently live just fine without it is a minor plothole by comparison.
    Well, one of hte factions also wants to mix in a virus with the new clean water that will kill everyone.
    “It’s honest. What our religion tells us, the part that is a religion, is that the gods created life to try and make meaning. It’s ultimately hopeless, and even gods die, but the effort is real. Will always have been real, even when everything is over and no one remembers.”
    -The Litany of Earth, Ruthanna Emrys

  14. - Top - End - #224
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Spoiler: Responses!
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    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    Doc: *ideas about haunting spirits*
    GM: Hee. Hee hee. Hoo hoo hoo.
    This is pretty much my relationship with the GM in a nutshell.


    Quote Originally Posted by Katrina View Post
    Spoiler: Spoilers. Actual game spoilers..if you care
    Show
    The Enclave wanted to poison the water so that any thing with genetic mutations due to the radiation (i.e. Most people, ghouls, Super Mutants, Possibly the Lone Wanderer herself if you did a particular questline, and others would die upon drinking it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    Well, one of hte factions also wants to mix in a virus with the new clean water that will kill everyone.
    Yes, thank you. The mutant-killing virus is the one plot point that gives you any reason to stop the Enclave from turning on the purifier. It gets overlooked often in summing up the game's plot.


    Quote Originally Posted by GrayGriffin View Post
    "Y'all are going to have to watch Zootopia for sensitivity training."
    That bad, huh?


    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "Give us a sketch."
    (One display of terrible drawing skill later)
    Spoiler
    Show

    "Yeaaah, she's totally about to molest/eat that butterfly. Adorable!"
    Hmm, she looks fairly harmless. Any unusual tell-tales of shapeshifting, unusual growths, or unexplained voice changing?



    Viridia: “I'm eighteen, Strata. I'm legal no matter what time we're in.” (*winks*)

    Moon: “Creepy mascot pony, you better not actually exist. There isn't enough ammo in the world to burn this place enough.”

    GM: “Can't not reward a critical success.”
    Moon: “Moonshadow would like a gift receipt please.”

    Choro: “That's 3 points up for 'possession by spirit of the mascot' and 5 down for 'AI gestalt of the dead'. Other theories are stable at this time.”
    Doc: “Hold up. How is a hallucination three points up for spirit possession? If that's the case then Doc is Molly-bucking-Jensen.”

    GM: “There's about five things terribly, horribly wrong with CrunchMunch and adding spirits would be like dumping raw sewage on a junkyard fire; of course it's a possibility here.”

    Choro: “I don't hear gunfire. Or anything.”
    Doc: (*about to do the thing*) “Wait.”
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  15. - Top - End - #225
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Gallade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Spoiler: Responses!
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    Hmm, she looks fairly harmless. Any unusual tell-tales of shapeshifting, unusual growths, or unexplained voice changing?
    Those spots under her eyes are her actual eyes, though the only character to find out didn't care and later betrayed the party and ran away. If pressed into melee she bites people, and turns out she's poisonous. Plus they literally found her in the middle of a forest and she "befriended" them with a mass charm spell, but being a decent mage they let her stick along.
    Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-21 at 08:45 AM.

  16. - Top - End - #226
    Ogre in the Playground
     
    Kobold

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Spoiler: commentary
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    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Spoiler: Responses!
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    Hmm, she looks fairly harmless. Any unusual tell-tales of shapeshifting, unusual growths, or unexplained voice changing?
    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    Those spots under her eyes are her actual eyes, though the only character to find out didn't care and later betrayed the party and ran away. If pressed into melee she bites people, and turns out she's poisonous. Plus they literally found her in the middle of a forest and she "befriended" them with a mass charm spell, but being a decent mage they let her stick along.
    See, and I figured she was the whole pictured image, stump and all.
    Never trust a stump with a harmless-looking creature sitting on top. On a side note, "harmless creature on a stump" will be my new paranoia-inducing encounter, possibly supplanting the current leader, "water travel."


    No-context prize from last session:
    NecroGnome: Do you have a token for Mr. Wiggly?
    Why yes, Warlock is my solution for everything.

    Quote Originally Posted by obryn View Post
    Active Abilities are great because you - the player - are demonstrating your Dwarvenness or Elfishness. You're not passively a dwarf, you're actively dwarfing your way through obstacles.

  17. - Top - End - #227
    Orc in the Playground
     
    Christopher K.'s Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    This gem came up last night:
    "So if the orc had 6 HP, surely the half orc has 3!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaidu View Post
    Wait, but, how would they - what would they - you, sir, have just destroyed my mind.
    TBM Games, 5E content and reviews.
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  18. - Top - End - #228
    Troll in the Playground
     
    Diego Havoc's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Yukari: Remember that we're meant to be preventing an assassination here.
    Ms. Steel: Oh yeah. I forgot. I was thinking about killing.

    Yukari: Marvel characters get frequent die-er miles. 3 deaths and the next one is free!

    Kula: This plan is doomed to fail.
    Ms. Steel: This plan is doomed to succeed!

    Yukari: This session has taken a very strange turn.
    Kula: Isn't that every session?
    GM: And yet it's still not a weird as the Power Rangers session.
    Last edited by Diego Havoc; 2017-07-21 at 01:13 PM.
    Just call me Diego. Mr. Havoc was my father.
    Spoiler: About Me
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    Quote Originally Posted by SiuiS View Post
    Diego Havoc, one of the hoopier froods I've met, up there with DeLancie.



  19. - Top - End - #229
    Bugbear in the Playground
     
    HalflingRogueGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eldan View Post
    Well, one of hte factions also wants to mix in a virus with the new clean water that will kill everyone.
    Spoiler
    Show
    I thought that was just Eden, and that he asked the player to do it specificaly because Autumn won't.
    Yes, I am slightly egomaniac. Why didn't you ask?

    Free haiku !
    Alas, poor Cookie
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  20. - Top - End - #230
    Troll in the Playground
     
    digiman619's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "But I'm not hard, so if you use me like that, I'll take half damage"
    Spoiler: Context
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    I meant to say "don't have a hardness", as the rest of the party was considering using my paralyzed character as a battering ram.
    Quote Originally Posted by digiman619 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Cosi View Post
    In general, this is favorable to the casters.
    3.5 in a nutshell, ladies and gents.
    Winner of MSE's Card of the Week #106 and #131
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  21. - Top - End - #231
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Gallade's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "I think Wort should have a waifu as well."
    "Doesn't he have his sword already?"
    "Yeah, but that's more like an occasional f-buddy. He needs someone to go steady with."

    "For the last time, I'm NOT blowing up the castle. You know what's worse than semi-immortal abominations? Semi-immortal abominations, pissed off, out for your blood, and on fire."
    Spoiler: context
    Show
    "The people in the castle are under a spell which reverses time, for their body only, when they die, resurrecting them but corrupting them more and more each time, and they're already pretty much undead by this point. We're supposed to rescue them.
    Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-22 at 05:01 PM.

  22. - Top - End - #232
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Guizonde's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gallade View Post
    "I think Wort should have a waifu as well."
    "Doesn't he have his sword already?"
    "Yeah, but that's more like an occasional f-buddy. He needs someone to go steady with."
    judging by his name, that'd be his briefs.

    ... crud, i grossed me out on that zing.
    regarding my choice of sustenance:
    Quote Originally Posted by Raimun View Post
    I'm going to judge you.
    My judgement is: That is awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: “If it doesn't move and it should, use duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use a shotgun.”
    dm is Miltonian, credit where credit is due.

  23. - Top - End - #233
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    This will the first and last time I quote from someone else's campaign, I swear.

    Doc: “I just started hearing the tail end of this, what?”
    Viridia: “Well, you didn't tell me what you've had replaced, and that seemed like a good guess.”
    Doc: “I had some muscles replaced, but that wasn't one of them. Pretty sure it wasn't.”
    Viridia: “In the interest of maintaining party morale, I'm not going to make a joke about this.”
    Thanatos: *slowly turns to glance at Doc with a raised eyebrow*
    Doc: “I dunno. I'm the only stallion on the team, so I just accept certain jokes fly my way.”
    Thanatos: *nods*

    Viridia: “Does anypony ever call you Thanny?”
    Thanatos: *looks as if he wasn't going to justify that with a answer*
    Thanatos: *shakes his head*
    Viridia: “How about...Little Green?”
    Thanatos: *deems that he wasn't going to dignify that with a answer*

    AI: “As for the overseer robot, I am just a intelligent machine; legally, a computer cannot run a factory, but a robot, technically, can.”
    Moonshadow:A ROBOT IS JUST A COMPUTER WITH LEGS!!

    Didn't somepony spot a safe hidden behind a painting?
    Last edited by goto124; 2017-07-23 at 06:42 AM.

  24. - Top - End - #234
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by goto124 View Post
    Didn't somepony spot a safe hidden behind a painting?
    Stellar did, but unless she tells someone else, no one will know unless we... re-search the office again (couldn't avoid that punnage).
    Anyway, D&D shenanigans~


    Nick: "Here, have a five year old fortune cookie."
    Peanut Gallery: "That cookie has got to be stale as all hell."
    Nick: "Yes, so is the fortune."

    Nick: "I watched 'Beep Beep Ima Sheep' so many times that I now have cotton mouth."

    Lizardman: "Come on! Please open the door! We just need a roll of toilet paper, have some mercy!"

    Chris: "Guess how much gold I have now." *grin*
    Armond: "No. Here's a coin. Don't carry that number."
    Digo: "Well now you're across the street from the beast."

    William: "Boss, I want a raise."
    Chris: "We just gave you one. We raised you out of a pit."

    GM: "Well now Armond has to decide if this is a stupid idea--"
    Digo: "They're all stupid ideas! Just do them!"

    Nick: "I must admit that getting torpedoed by a salami was half-cool."

    Mel: (*singing*) "Take a five foot step, grab a stick of juicy fruit..."

    GM: "That's the best use of string theory that I've ever seen."
    Chris: "I'm just stringing you along. By the way, 25 electric damage to the boss."
    GM: *rolls* "And the enemy mage is gone."
    Chris: "And that's how you do the electric slide."
    Digo & Mel: "It's electric, boogie woogie woogie!"

    Mel: "We started this quest with 48 charges. We're down to 32."
    Digo: "Well spent if you ask me! It's allowed us to take on a room full of Celestia damned luggage bags and the human torched."

    Digo: "Lions and wolves and monks, oh my!"
    GM: "Holy crap, Batman! That's a lot of business!"

    Lizardman: "If gravity was real, why hasn't all the water not fallen to the bottom of the planet?"

    GM: "And the second arrow catches him in the nose and through the back of his neck."
    Digo: "Nose piercing!"
    GM: "That's not the right direction for that."
    Digo: "I... dunno how nose piercings work."
    Chris: "Try watching Nostril Pierce Theater."
    GM: "Aarrrrg!!"
    Nick: "He really pierced it."

    Mel: "Hmm, what to do?"
    Chris: "If it helps you decide, I'm down to 14 hit points."
    Mel: "Well I'm down by half."
    Chris: "Then go heal yourself."
    Nick: "We had hit points once, now we got air."

    GM: "That was the big cat. He was lion on the side of the road."
    Last edited by DigoDragon; 2017-07-23 at 08:16 AM.
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  25. - Top - End - #235
    Dwarf in the Playground
     
    Gallade's Avatar

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    Feb 2016

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    "Quiet yourself, Child of Fire! Do you think your little tricks can hold a candle to the flames of the Hells themselves?"
    (pause)
    "...Swear to all holyness I didn't mean to make that pun."

    "How can you even say if a weapon is a 'he' or a 'she'?"
    "Easy, if it has a long haft or a bludgeoning shape it's a boy, for obvious reasons. If it has a wide blade it's a girl, because the marks it leaves...I don't have to spell it out, do I."
    "What about a glaive or a halberd?"
    "Those are shemales."
    "Rapiers?"
    "Trap."
    "We're going to get ambushed by SJW over this, are we."
    Last edited by Gallade; 2017-07-23 at 11:54 AM.

  26. - Top - End - #236
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Gideon Falcon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    GM- Roll Arcana.
    Fighter (I'm not sure why, either)- 1.
    GM- It's... different.

    GM- Roll Religion.
    Fighter: Nat 1.
    GM- That's a pretty statue.

    "You must be this tall to survive."

    "Well, he may look like me, and he may talk like me, but can he dance like me?"

    "How can a Lich be a Medusa?"

    "Calm down, these guys are delicate- I go up to one of them very aggressively..."

    "In Soviet Russia, you mine the Dwarves!"

    Druid: Besides, trust is a major part of any relationship. If we're going to ship these two-
    Eldritch Knight: WHAT!?

    Bard: I'm afraid we're going to need your baby [infant Piercer the Fighter had picked up for no reason earlier].
    Fighter: *sigh* Fine. (Grabs the Ranger)
    Bard: NO! No, we need the worm!
    Fighter: *sigh* Fine. (Grabs the Ranger again)
    It's a falcon. Wearing a Fedora. Your argument is irrelevant.
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  27. - Top - End - #237
    Colossus in the Playground
     
    DigoDragon's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gideon Falcon View Post
    Bard: I'm afraid we're going to need your baby [infant Piercer the Fighter had picked up for no reason earlier].
    Fighter: *sigh* Fine. (Grabs the Ranger)
    Bard: NO! No, we need the worm!
    Fighter: *sigh* Fine. (Grabs the Ranger again)
    Pfft, nice. That was a good laugh. XD


    GM: "Mel, you want to hit number 7 at range? All the other spellcasters are."
    Lizardman #7: "Quick, someone get into melee with me so I'm harder to hit!"
    Armond: *crossbow hit*
    LM #7: "Not you!"
    Chris: *longbow hit*
    LM #7: "Not you either!"
    Mel: *shortbow hit*
    LM #7: "Oh come on!!"

    Nick: "So everyone but #7 in engaged?"
    GM: "Well, you can't tell if he's wearing a ring or not."

    William: "Hey Hey Hey!"
    GM: "Green giant!"
    Digo: "I think we mixed up our childhoods."

    GM: "You trip up on an invisible turtle that wasn't there."

    Mel: "Nice to see a new member in the Roll-a-1 club."
    Chris: "Yes, I'm happy to be here in the penalty box."

    Chris: "Google is still on the steps. He never moved into combat."
    Digo: "He's not that browser of stupid."

    GM: "The eye goes away, then the giant glass sphere falls to the ground and shatters."
    Digo: "Not it."
    Mel: "I didn't do it."
    Digo: "Is this how Sauron ragequits?"

    GM: "The wizard had a pair of magic bracers."
    Chris: "Bracers yourself. Loot is coming."

    Nick: "The potion wasn't divination, because he certainly didn't see my fist coming."

    Chris: "Hey Google, are you feeling this?"
    Google: "Did you turn off your popup blocker?"

    Chris: "Digo, secret door there."
    Digo: *checks, pulls a candle holder*
    Room: *rearranges and secret door opens*
    Nick: (from behind wall) "Okay. Listen carefully. Put. The candle. Back."

    GM: "Hobbs is not. Hobbs is a low rider."

    Chris: "Anyway, I have Armond looking after me, in case I do something weird."
    Mel: "This is you we're talking about, right?"
    Chris: "Okay, weirder than usual."

    Digo: "Door is attacking us! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

    Mel: "Eww, you're still sticky."
    Digo: "That happens when you get groped by a door."

    GM: "And then you come-to and see that everyone is looking at you."
    Chris: *blink. shakes head*
    Digo: "So what planet did you visit?"
    Chris: "Google and I mind-melded."
    Mel: "You visited the Googleplex?"
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  28. - Top - End - #238
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    RangerGuy

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    Dec 2014

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Stellar did, but unless she tells someone else, no one will know unless we... re-search the office again (couldn't avoid that punnage)
    Roll for Science

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    William: "Boss, I want a raise."
    Chris: "We just gave you one. We raised you out of a pit."
    "Keep pestering and you'll be asking for a Raise Dead."

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    GM: "And the second arrow catches him in the nose and through the back of his neck."
    Digo: "Nose piercing!"
    During a short stint as a GM, one of my players gave an NPC a reverse eye piercing. He'd asked for the left eye, but I ruled the arrow to take the right one instead.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Digo: "Door is attacking us! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
    Ah, a typical DnD experience. That session must've been a wild ride

  29. - Top - End - #239
    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    BardGuy

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    Jul 2010

    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Quote Originally Posted by DigoDragon View Post
    Nick: "I watched 'Beep Beep Ima Sheep' so many times that I now have cotton mouth."
    I literally watched this one day before I read this quote. Weird.

    Busster: "Charge!"
    Dealer: When did running TOWARDS the enemy become the coward option?

    Rivit: "Don't worry, there's no way I can fail this jump!"
    Deck: *Joker, Joker* (this is a crit fail)
    Dealer: It was at this moment he knew, he f****d up.

    Wyzz: Just s we're clear, we're all animals?
    Dealer: Yup.
    Wyzz: "Huh, I'm a cat?"
    Nyfe: "I'm a bunny."
    Buster: "Schnauzer."
    Rivit: "Spider-monkey"
    Wyzz: "Wait, what about Sypher?"
    Dealer: As you ask that question, you see a roomba come into view.
    Sypher: "This sucks."
    Rivit: "Could have been worse, at least you're not a lamp."

    Buster: "I'll show them the true meaning of pain!" *beat* "Right after I catch this elusive stump of a tail!"

    Sypher: "Why are you sitting on me?"
    Wyzz: "If you're a cat, you ride roombas. It's what you do."

    Minion: "Get back here you vile rodent!"
    Nyfe: "Who're you calling a rodent? I'm a BUNNY!"

    Rivit: "NO ONE MAKES A MONKEY OUT OF ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"

    Commander: "What's taking so long? It's just one stinking rabbit!"
    Minion: "That's no ordinary rabbit!"

    Wyzz: "Is this the best you got? We've taken on worse!"
    Deep rumbling voice: "Now you must still survive: Evillak!"
    Buster: "NO ONE REMEMBERS THAT CARTOON!"

    Sypher: "I may need some help."
    Wyzz: *leaps into action*
    Sypher: "...a cat is fine too."

    Sorceress: "This certainly hurts my pride."
    Buster: "Not as much as my teeth!" *growls*
    Sorceress: "Oh poopie."
    Last edited by ZeroGear; 2017-07-23 at 10:20 PM.
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  30. - Top - End - #240
    Ettin in the Playground
     
    Fable Wright's Avatar

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    Default Re: Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

    Peanut Gallery: So what's happening over here?
    Player 1: The old man is desperately trying to kill himself but the barkeep keeps thwarting that with well-timed drinks. Also, knife-eye decapitated heads keep popping up out of nowhere to break up the scene but keep getting assassinated by a team of utterly sloshed ninjas.
    Player 2: Also, the redneck gremlins are desperately trying to run away from the evil sentient sandstorm.
    Peanut Gallery: *blinks*
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