Results 31 to 59 of 59
-
2017-06-12, 09:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
I think, for those of us who are creeped out, it's the discussion of a specific individual. Talking in general about what you find attractive is fine, as long as it's not in a way of "if you're not doing it this way you're wrong." It's the discussion of a specific individual - present or not - that makes it feel kind of skeevy.
Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!
-
2017-06-13, 07:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
Fine: "I think people of a heavier build are attractive. Anyone agree? Anyone want to see more of them in RPG art?"
Creepy: "I want to discuss how one of my friends is attractive with crazy internet strangers, a quarter of which pretend to be demonic entities and/or dragons."
The first is fine. The latter...I don't think his friend would appreciate that so much.For all of your completely and utterly honest needs. Zaydos made, Tiefling approved.
-
2017-06-13, 07:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
- Gender
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
-
2017-06-13, 07:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
- Location
- Raleigh NC
- Gender
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
Last edited by pendell; 2017-06-13 at 07:34 PM.
"Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth. Sooner or later, that debt is paid."
-Valery Legasov in Chernobyl
-
2017-06-13, 07:43 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
-
2017-06-13, 10:02 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2015
- Location
- San Francisco Bay area
- Gender
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
Since I'm looking for images for free, I suppose "beggers can't be choser's", but yes I would like to see more diversity of all kinds in fantasy art (that I can use for my PC's and NPC's).
I'd like to see images of Wood Elves that have skin tones that match the ones in the 5e PHB, instead of all the extremely pale depictions I see.
I'd like to see more images of grey haired women with faces that are weathered.
I'd like images of men who aren't scowling, have normal sized arms, and don't have giant swollen feet, really so many of the males look like they must weigh as much as elephants judging by how big their feet are, women however are depicted with tiny, tiny feet, like different species! Plate armor with stiletto heels?
Unlike the
Today I learned something about the infamous "Junk",
So what is this "Kender"?, and the
So wait, is Bandana a woman?
....theads, the OP's language in this thread confuses me enough that I'm not sure just what the OP is asking, as the title of thread seems to ask one thing, but other statements seem to say something else.
-
2017-06-13, 10:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2016
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
-
2017-06-13, 10:20 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Minnesota
- Gender
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
Homebrew
Please feel free to PM me any thoughts on my homebrew (or comment in the thread if it's not too old).
-
2017-06-16, 01:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2015
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
I disagree. True, OP wasn't one of those guys posting a name and/or picture and talking to strangers about an individual, but he also wasn't discussing his preferences entirely in the abstract, as others have falsely implied. Personally, I think his references to a person were vague enough, and subordinate enough to his abstract talk, that it didn't bother me too much, but I can completely understand and respect those who were offended.
If we're on the topic of things nobody on this thread ever did, nobody on this thread "shamed OP for his preferences." And yet certain individuals made that claim anyway. I don't know if this was a deliberate act of intellectual dishonesty meant to reframe the debate, or just excessive defensiveness about a preference that, admittedly, does get its fair share of shaming from the general public.
The critics on the thread made it clear from the beginning that they didn't object to the preference, but rather to the way it was brought up in relation to some unnamed, but real, individual. If OP had posted, "Does anyone else like girls who look like supermodels? I sure do. There's a girl I work with who has a body like Mrs. Tom Brady, but that isn't the only reason I like her, which I do, completely platonically," I believe the same people critics would have been bothered for the same reason, while the defenders would have had much more trouble trying to deflect criticism by asserting victimhood.Last edited by Xyril; 2017-06-16 at 01:11 PM.
-
2017-06-17, 11:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2017
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
I don't understand why anyone is defending OP by saying this forum should be a safe place to discuss sexual preferences. This isn't expressing a commonly judged sexual preference. This isn't looking for a place to be accepted as someone attracted to large women.
This is someone saying they couldn't be attracted to a woman SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE she is fat. And people like warkitty and honest tiefling and saying "hey maybe we shouldn't objectify women's bodies especially about being fat because that really hurts women irl". And here's the proof of what they're saying... right in OPs first post.
And warkitty wasn't writing a personal antecdote. She (I saw you list your pronoun on another thread) was citing a fact. Fat shaming endangers women and girls. There's nothing subjective about it. And when a great forum like gitp has a fat shaming post, reasonable people NEED to step in and explain why that's not okay.
Children are brainwashed into thinking they're fat when they aren't
Fat shaming stigmas prevent women from having access to medical help
-
2017-06-17, 12:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Gender
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
I'd like to notice that the OP and the following posts of the same author are a wonder for how they can be understood in completely different ways.
The clear part:
"So, bit of story. When I was a child, I was rather interested in bigger people than me. I was rather small, so being large, at least to me seemed great at the time.
Of course, as I got older, I realized being obese had some unfortunate implications, aside from the health problems, which made me sympathize with them."
Question 1: does the OP still sympathize with them?
The unclear part:
"I am still having a working relationship with a girl that was nice to me, but I am not into her because she is big, it's going on because we interact a lot, as well as our interest in pop culture."
1: What does working relationship mean?
- A relationship that works
- A relationship on the workplace
2: what does "being into" mean?
- being in love
- enjoying the company
3: I am not into her because she is big, it's going on because...
- Does it mean that you are into her, but the reason isn't that she is big ("[the relationship]'s going on" being synonymous with "I'm into her"
- Does it me that you aren't into her because the is big?
4: What quirk?
The first reaction was that of asking if it was an expression of sexual preference, which brought to another post:
"It's platonically, I can assure!"
Which can be understood as
#1: It IS an appropriate topic, this isn't a fetish talk! (reinforcing the "relationship" as "enjoyment of company" aspect, or meaning that a romantic relationship goes beyond some sexual-attraction aspects?)
#2: OMG (_____) are uncool and I'm cool therefore (____)
Then another post
"Understood. A lot of people when they saw this might have been... weirded out for such a question, but this is the kind of response I can wholeheartedly agree with."
Which veers in the romantic relationship department because of pendell's answer, but could refer to any relationship.
Which leads to the question: why was the thread started?
The need for confirmation that it's OK to be in a relationship with someone fat?
...which can be seen as insulting, or as an effort that should be supported, because he's the one going against pondism, and society makes him feel weird because of this?
"Well, I do have a problem with titles... I might have to ask around for appropriate title names later."
Seems to make the title the part with the wrong expression, while it was the only understandable part. So, lots of textual analysis to be made here.
There also is a lot of silence from the author, that can be understood as defensive, selective, oblivious, deliberate, provocative...Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien, 1955
-
2017-06-19, 03:07 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2015
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
No, it isn't. Taken out of context, the sentence fragment you quoted seems ambiguous, with one of the possible meanings matching what you assert. However, in the context of OP's post, it is quite obvious that 1) he is attracted to heavier people 2) he wanted to make it clear that he likes this person for reasons other than the fact that she matches his physical preferences.
Around here, context matters. OP isn't Common, and you're not Fox News.
-
2017-06-19, 04:22 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Georgia
- Gender
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
I had briefly glanced at the original post a few days ago, and originally read it like Thurl did, but upon rereading it, it does look more like it's #2. Read the other way where it's a condemnation of her size, the sentence doesn't make much sense. Nor does the thread title, for that matter.
-
2017-06-19, 05:15 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!
-
2017-06-19, 07:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
-
2017-06-20, 07:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2017
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
Last edited by The Eye; 2017-06-20 at 07:03 PM.
-
2017-06-20, 07:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
...this really isn't a helpful response.
Look, I can see at this point that different people are reading this differently. I suspect most of the people who reacted the way I did are reading it the way I do - which at least me seems the most logical way to interpret all the statements in context.Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!
-
2017-06-20, 07:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2017
-
2017-06-20, 09:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2015
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
I suspect you are wrong. Note, nobody else is condemning the OP for judging a sexual preference: They are condemning other people who have made statements critical of OP (namely, that they felt this topic was inappropriate,) and asserted that those other people were wrong for criticizing an a certain sexual preference (because the reason they feel uncomfortable with the topic is that they feel uncomfortable with OPs preference for heavier people.) If we assume that they read OPs post your way, their criticism does not make sense. If we assume otherwise, it does.
which at least me seems the most logical way to interpret all the statements in context.
I can see why "and then I realized being heavier carries drawbacks" could imply a change in preference, but not definitively.Last edited by Xyril; 2017-06-20 at 09:15 PM.
-
2017-06-20, 09:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Georgia
- Gender
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
Since it is painfully obvious OP wants nothing to do with this can of worms, perhaps everyone else should follow suit? Unless he wants to end the debate, the rest is pretty pointless.
-
2017-06-20, 09:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
Ok I feel like we're getting turned around here. No one in this thread has condemned OP for a sexual preference. There are several of us who've said we're not comfortable with the way it's being discussed and applied to a particular individual. (Honest Tiefling, Rechechere, and ThurlRavenscrof have all made similar statements.)
Although to be honest, I'd be a little iffy with him saying he was into a particular woman for that reason? Like, I just feel like I wouldn't want my boyfriend discussing what he liked about my body on a public forum, even if he didn't identify me. It's not about the preference so much as what is and isn't appropriate discourse about people's bodies.
I am sincerely curious your reasoning for reaching that conclusion. To me, the title (as hustlertwo noted) is pretty definitive even by itself. The phrasing, "is anyone else (something)" generally implies "I am (something.)" The only situation where that last bit isn't implied is when you're clearly referring to some third party who is (something.) "Sir-Mix-A-Lot is into heavier people. Is anybody else into heavier people here?" doesn't carry the implication that the speaker is into heavier people. "Is anybody else into heavier people here?" by itself implies that the speaker is into heavier people: The "else" implies reference to someone already known to be into heavier people, and absent some specific antecedent reference, the speaker is generally the default.
I can see why "and then I realized being heavier carries drawbacks" could imply a change in preference, but not definitively.Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!
-
2017-06-21, 12:27 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2015
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
From context, I am guessing that this statement implies that you believe I made the assertion that people condemned OP for a sexual preference. I did not. If you take issue with this phrasing: "Note, nobody else is condemning the OP for judging a sexual preference", let me clarify that my choice to use the word "else" does not imply that I am claiming that you were shaming OP for a preference. However, given how apparently incongruent your way of reading context is from the way that I (and some others apparently) read context, I didn't want to offend you by making an assertion about your intent either way.
Just to clarify. 1) OP made a post. 2) Group A of people said they weren't comfortable with OP's post. 3) Group B of people accused group A of shaming a sexual preference. 4) You stated that (paraphrase) "everyone else who reacted as I did must have done so because they read OP the same way I did." 5) I disagreed with that assertion, because 6) People in Group A took pains to point out that it was the discussion of sexual preference combined with reference to a specific individual that bothered them. If this assertion is true, then Group A would not be more or less bothered whether OP said "I'm really into heavy people" or "I'm really not into heavy people anymore." 7) Similarly, the criticism of Group B is that Group A shamed a preference. That criticism would stand regardless of that preference.
-
2017-06-21, 12:43 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
I think I'm starting to follow?
On the agreement, I was more thinking along the lines that the people who were disagreeing were likely reading - like I was - that the OP was explaining why he was no longer into this particular woman, and/or assuring people that he wasn't into her. It's more likely that people are going to object to OP if it comes across that he's critiquing a particular individual.Hail to the Lord of Death and Destruction!
CATNIP FOR THE CAT GOD! YARN FOR THE YARN THRONE! MILK FOR THE MILK BOWL!
-
2017-06-21, 01:17 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2017
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
I understand why you're confused. Notice I wrote "commonly judged sexual preference" not sexual preference in general. Being attracted to large people is a commonly judged sexual preference. NOT being attracted to large people is a sexual preference but it isn't commonly judged.
-
2017-06-21, 01:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2017
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
I can see where you're coming from with that. But if OP was doing that, why was the second paragraph devoted to the potential health concerns of being overweight? What does it contribute if the second interpretation is true? And why do we need an exclamation mark after "It's platonically, I can assure"?
I can understand how the posts could be interpreted to not be insulting but I'm sure you can also see how it's easy to read them as very insulting indeed. And I think we all agree we should go around insulting people - even online.
Regardless, I think we've all reinforced a very important lesson today about punctuation and sentence fragments.
-
2017-06-21, 01:52 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2017
-
2017-06-21, 01:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2015
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
Because certain people tend to be judgmental about attraction. I'm going to use a different example that (I hope) you will agree doesn't carry any negative value judgments: Let's say some person has primarily dated black women, to the point where some people (fairly or not) tease him for being extra attracted to black women. He meets a black woman at work. They hit it off, as friends, but for whatever reason, he sees her primarily as a platonic friend, and not a potential romantic partner. He is not ashamed of his preference--he doesn't think there's anything wrong with being black, nor for being attracted to black women--but he is expecting to be accused of 1) being disingenuous about liking her for her personality--people will invariably say he's only friends with her because of his preference 2) being accused of secretly harboring feelings for her, and only pretending to be platonic friends as some sneaky plan to get into her pants. I've seen both accusations fly--more than once--here in the playground, so it's not an unreasonable fear for him to have. Thus, the explanation point.
PS--If you dispute the accuracy of one of my factual assertions, please let me know what it is. To point vaguely at a large paragraph that is part analysis, part opinion, and part factual assertion, and just to vaguely dismiss it as fake news comes off as less constructive criticism or feedback, and more insulting people for it's own sake. And I think we can agree we shouldn't go around insulting people, even online.
Edit: I just reread your post and realized that I was responding to what I thought you wrote, and not what you wrote, so I apologize. Apparently, we can't all agree that we shouldn't go around insulting people.Last edited by Xyril; 2017-06-21 at 01:57 PM.
-
2017-06-22, 12:16 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2017
-
2017-08-04, 07:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2017
Re: Is anybody else into heavier people here?
If I like someone I don't care if they're big or not. I like them for who they are. Right now I'm in relationship with a big guy and he is the best man ever