Lilly's Lovely Random Banter #87

[Sean92k]

Ah yes, small children in theatres, full of sugar what joy. My local cinema is the old style one screen affair, with a gentle slope at the sides of the seats. Some children kept running up and down making thudding noises. So I conveniently got leg cramp and had to stretch my leg out, and suddenly a child fell over. Needless to say I was shocked.

EDIT: @^Impressive.

O_O ... You sir ... are a visionary Tripping kids, its genous. I have to try this some time.
Has anyone (besides eld) taken revenge? I poured a whole tub of popcorn over the jerk sitting infront of me. He had it coming

Not that impressive, some of my better work \/

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[Eldpollard]

I also work in a library. There are many children who are loud, this should not be. My method is smiling at them, constantly with my eyes slightly glazed. They then become very very quiet. Hey if you can't traumatise kids in your job then it's a job I don't want to do.

EDIT: For more cinema related revenge, if someone next to you is immensely annoying and/or loud simply state this loudly "I say sir/madam take your hand off my leg!" With the aforementioned glazed eye look it works very well.

[Logic]

I can make that, if you want?

Edit: I did

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O_O ... You sir ... are a visionary Tripping kids, its genous. I have to try this some time.
Has anyone (besides eld) taken revenge? I poured a whole tub of popcorn over the jerk sitting infront of me. He had it coming

Not that impressive, some of my better work \/

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If you don't mind, could you e-mail those to me as picture files? (I can't see them because of this blasted firewall.) I know some of must be sick of me saying it, but I repeat it just in case someone doesn't know any better.

[Mr. Moon]

Not that impressive, some of my better work \/

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Holly crow. Did you do those pictures? They're all... wow. O.O

[Eldpollard]

This thread seems to have died, if 17 hours of inactivity are anything to go by.

I have my A level results tomorrow, what a fun packed day that will be.

[Vonriel]

A levels? Some sort of testing or something? Silly british system of schools, why not go to the USA version, where you punish those who are smarter than the average.

A question: Why is it that the spleen is the funniest of the organs? Take, for example:

I'd be more afraid of the bear knocking me down and devouring my stomach.

It doesn't just carry the comedic value of:

I'd be more afraid of the bear knocking me down and devouring my spleen.

Is it because of the Mystery Men superhero, the Spleen? I just don't know.

[Lord Herman]

Because the 'spleen' has funny letters in it, while 'stomach' doesn't.

Behold: Wikipedia on inherently funny words.

[Eldpollard]

A levels are the final exams of college in the UK.
Before that are GCSEs for high school. The results for those are out next week nation wide.
After the A levels there's university.

I think spleen is amusing because to most people (myself included) don't know what it is. A sense of romance perhaps, mystery. Everyone knows the stomach as "that big old digesting bag." there's no intrigue.

[SurlySeraph]

Its the "sp" sound, which is usually funny (as in "splorch") and the "een" sound, which is sometimes but not always funny. Also, it's partly because few people know exactly where the spleen is or what it does.

[Lord Herman]

Also, monosyllabic words (why does that word have so many syllables) are usually funnier than other words.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Don't boast Eldpollard.
I get my GCSEs on the 23rd and if I get my 9 A*s, AS Level Sociology A Grade and my Lvl 2 CoPE I get a knig-size snickers. Seriously. That's what knowing your predicted scores does for you. If you get a C instead of a B it's "We're all disappoited in you [insername]. Why didn't you trt harder?"

One of the funniest words I know is zlot. Or splat, spleen oh, and smeg.

I think it's the combination of prononciations. Floccinoccinihlipilification (or whatever) sounds fairly weird. Flibbertigibbet sounds funny. On the whole most people find monosylabbic words funnier.

[Eldpollard]

I wasn't aware I was boasting.

Ah GCSEs, I did quite well in those. Except for art. I got an F in that. Most likely due to my total lack of artistic ability. In retrospect not the best course to choose.

[CurlyKitGirl]

No. I was boasting. It was a lot of stuff t be expected to be that smart in.

I hated, well not so much hated as didn't like the teacher, course or what we had to do. I generally got average or above average in everything.
Except Textiles, Food Tech, Graphic, Resistant Materials and PE. And ICT oddly enough.
So, why did you choose to do it? Thought it'd be an easy course?
EDIT: Oh yeah. You get your results before me. That's boasting in front of people doing GCSEs.

[Dragonrider]

I should be studying for the SATs right now. But I'm not. Because I'm a bad person.

[Eldpollard]

SATS? The American version or the English one?

[Dragonrider]

American.

On a completely different subject....

I just went downstairs and finished off a thing of blueberries. Then I realized that I have almost singlehanded consumed two pounds of blueberries in two and a half days. That's a lot of blueberries.

[Leather_Book_Wizard]

Also, monosyllabic words (why does that word have so many syllables)

That IS ironic. But the true irony is that it's made of steel!

[CurlyKitGirl]

That is a lot of blueberries. Don't they contain a lot of natural sugar as well?

[Eldpollard]

Most fruits do. It's better than unnatural sugars. They're a mockery of nature .

[Leather_Book_Wizard]

I wonder why they're called blueberries. Can't be 'cause they're blue, because then strawberries would be called redberries. They were probably discovered by a guy name Marcus Blue. Yup.

[Eldpollard]

On the other hand we do have blackberries. Truly a conundrum.

[Leather_Book_Wizard]

Blackberries are purple. But they are quite good, despite their paradoxical nature.

[Eldpollard]

Even if they have a tendency to make your hands purple. Blackberries are black, at least in my recollection. Now raspberries are an enigma locked in a puzzle wrapped in a conundrum.

[Dragonrider]

I've heard that blueberries are like in the top two for "healthiest food"...whatever that means. How the heck are you supposed to measure "healthfulness quotient"?

[CurlyKitGirl]

Blackberries aren't berries. Apples and bananas are berries but blackberries, bluberries and strawberries aren't acttually berries.

And blackberries taste amazing. Especially in blackberry and apple crumble. But the blackberries have to be handpicked so that they taste nice. NOONE likes frozen shop-bought berries of any kind.

[Eldpollard]

And if you can scrounge them a bush all the better. Although I remember my Granddad's garden, it was one giant bramble. Due to either laziness on his part or a love of blackberries.

[Leather_Book_Wizard]

Blackberries aren't berries. Apples and bananas are berries but blackberries, bluberries and strawberries aren't acttually berries.

If it looks like a berry and tastes like a berry and quacks like a berry, it's a berry.

[Dragonrider]

If it looks like a berry and tastes like a berry and quacks like a berry, it's a berry.

If it's called a berry, it should be a berry!

[CurlyKitGirl]

Probably a bit of both. Luckily, I live so near the coutryside (1 min) because I can pick them to my hearts content. They've been out in Cornwall for a week or so now and every time I walk the dogs I end up picking a dozen or so. And they always stain your fingers and face a nice purple colour.

EDIT: Technically a berry has its seeds on the inside (so a blueberry is a berry) and not separated into 'compartments' (Like blackberries) or on the outside (like strawberries). Technically a blackberry is a droop-sac. Trust me, I saw this on QI.

[Eldpollard]

You've got them already? They don't appear here in Yorkshire till late September to mid October.

EDIT: @^And anything Stephen Fry says automatically equates to truth. I saw it on QI.