Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire

[Morty]

We thought it was bad.
We thought it could not become worse.
We were wrong.

Which obviously poses the question - have we reached the bottom yet? Or how far down does this rabbit hole to Blunderland still go?

DON'T! Do we really want to know how deep can this webcomic sink? Better not tempt fate. We're already approaching point where mocking it isn't funny anymore. What will be next?

[Telonius]

"Bolded him being the chimpanzee?" - Telonius

I am not quite sure yet. Maybe.

Due to recent evidence, I am confident in saying that the bolded him was, in fact, the chimpanzee.

And also that we are seeing a fantasy of Cassafinn's, rather than what is actually happening. Prediction: Next strip, Cassafinn and Hansi are still talking at the table, and Hansi asks her to stop zoning out for a second.

Theory: TIM is messing with people's emotions and dreams, leading to uncharacteristic responses.

(Woohoo for 100's on sanity checks.)

[Spiryt]

Ok guys, I tried to read this comic, but about 600 or something, I resigned.
(Beacuse after reading "What a lovely world we're fighting to save" third time I wanted to bite my own face)

Now I occasionally read it, I also read those stripslays which some crazed folks are making.

So now when I'm reading, I find in it great deal of complete absurd, abstract dialogues and generally quite amount of fun. I'm thinking "Haha, what a nice Strip Slay".

Then I realise I'm seeing white all around, and that I'm reading original DD strip.

Is that normal?

[Arakune]

Here in Brasil there are some quite intelligent one panel comic which resumes in this: if you found the bottom of the pit, it's because you didn't look enough.

I think I'm pretty immune to his attempt to destroy my SAN. You know, when you SAN is at 1, it's not everything that can shock you.

[Winterwind]

DON'T! Do we really want to know how deep can this webcomic sink? Better not tempt fate. We're already approaching point where mocking it isn't funny anymore. What will be next?

Pretty much this "The Call of M'hookeehthulu"-thing, probably.

Due to recent evidence, I am confident in saying that the bolded him was, in fact, the chimpanzee.

Yeah, but why did it stop?
Maybe being used as a club was too much for the chimpanzee after all...

And also that we are seeing a fantasy of Cassafinn's, rather than what is actually happening. Prediction: Next strip, Cassafinn and Hansi are still talking at the table, and Hansi asks her to stop zoning out for a second.

This would explain a lot. Unfortunately, I doubt it - if it was that, he would have used it as punch-line in today's strip.

Theory: TIM is messing with people's emotions and dreams, leading to uncharacteristic responses.

And here I thought that was Mookie's job!

(Woohoo for 100's on sanity checks.)

Though admittedly, it is hard to roll anything lower, confronted with stupidity of this degree.
'sides, I'm pretty sure the SAN loss is pretty high even if you succeed at the check.
Remember, 5 points - short-term insanity, one fifth of your current points - long-term insanity...

Is that normal?

Yes, perfectly normal.
Though if you want the truly bizarre remarks, you should look around this thread here.

[Telonius]

This would explain a lot. Unfortunately, I doubt it - if it was that, he would have used it as punch-line in today's strip.

The thing is, that would have been funny.

[Friv]

Man, reading over your responses, and the madness that even thinking about this strip entails, I'm glad that I'm entirely illiterate. If I could understand these things, I might go crazy or something.

Hee hee hee hee hee.

[Myrdhale]

Ah, but they are not indoctrinating their soldiers to hate the orcs. The soldiers merely try to suck up to their superiors, who in this case happen to be the Damaske family, who are racists. In a modern, non-corrupt military, I imagine sucking up to superiors is not strictly necessary to advance, but back in a time where nobility exists and has supreme control, with the military being much smaller and operating on a smaller, more personal scale? It doesn't seem so unrealistic to me that parroting the nobleman superior officer's agenda would benefit your carreer.

Granted. But Taking into account the fact that Mookie's world is NOT a medieval setting, and That Mookie has a disturbing need to try and force his views of the world on his readers, I don't like the connotation it gives to Modern Military.

[Ganurath]

Mookie has one last chance before I remove DD from the list. He had a chance to do great things, and totally screwed it up. Boop you, Mookie.

[sihnfahl]

Mookie has one last chance before I remove DD from the list. He had a chance to do great things, and totally screwed it up. Boop you, Mookie.

He always has a chance to do a great storyline...

Then he puts in his black-and-white-no-grey worldview, full of spineless people incapable of doing anything without a Caste 1 member to hold their hand...

[Winterwind]

Granted. But Taking into account the fact that Mookie's world is NOT a medieval setting, and That Mookie has a disturbing need to try and force his views of the world on his readers, I don't like the connotation it gives to Modern Military.

Fair enough, and I suppose you are quite likely right about that. I try to not think about that myself (for it doesn't make sense to make the comic appear even worse than it does anyway by looking for additional failures like that).

Mookie has one last chance before I remove DD from the list. He had a chance to do great things, and totally screwed it up. Boop you, Mookie.

No! Every time a Mookiemocker gives up, God creates a LiveJournal-Fanboy! Think about the LJ-fanboys!

[Ganurath]

No! Every time a Mookiemocker gives up, God creates a LiveJournal-Fanboy! Think about the LJ-fanboys!

Like I said, one last chance. If Mookie fails, I'll announce the deletion so you guys know to PM me when Jacob gets a fight scene.

[Monnock]

That was the most bizarre thing I've ever read. Mookie just crossed a line somewhere, but I'm not sure what line that was. Something about a character making an offhand statement about how she "needed to get laid." That, and the fact that laid is in bold.

I just... I don't even know what the heck just happened. Wouldn't it be hilarious if it turns out he had HIV or some other STD? Or she got pregnant, since she seemed to be in way too much of a rush for a 'protection scroll.' I'm not for repressing sex, but I'm all for people to be aware that 'causal sex' has drawbacks if you aren't careful about it like Cassafinn was.

[thorgrim29]

Wait.... LJ fanboy? You mean that asstard actually still has fans?

[Mewtarthio]

More importantly, Mookie himself has stated that protection scrolls are not only considered a necessary part of safe sex but also that not using a protection scroll makes you an evil bastard who is willing to kill lovers over slights and is secretly responsible for everything bad that has happened to anyone, even off-screen.

How much you wanna bet she gets pregnant and is forced to resign in shame?

[sihnfahl]

I just... I don't even know what the heck just happened. Wouldn't it be hilarious if it turns out he had HIV or some other STD? Or she got pregnant, since she seemed to be in way too much of a rush for a 'protection scroll.' I'm not for repressing sex, but I'm all for people to be aware that 'causal sex' has drawbacks if you aren't careful about it like Cassafinn was.

Well, people may rag on VGCats, but... this came to mind.

Replace 'bandages' with 'magic' and ... well, you can guess the rest!

Wait.... LJ fanboy? You mean that asstard actually still has fans?

Of course! He still has blind sycophants. Although, that does make it easy for folks to stir them up now and then when they question DerMookie...

[Winterwind]

Wait.... LJ fanboy? You mean that asstard actually still has fans?

Supposedly so. Though I never ventured into the Lifejournal community; but some other posters here should be able to tell you some horror stories about the LJ fanboys' sheepishness.

It just occured to me that today's strip basically proves Mewtarthio was perfectly right with his "The Royal Knights must have been incredible sex gods!" theory. Eerie.

[rubakhin]

I dunno, they could've used a protection ... scroll. Stupid Mookieverse. Every time I hear that phrase I picture somebody rolling up a bit of parchment and stapling it shut at one end. I mean, she had the presence of mind to take off her earrings both times.

[Mewtarthio]

Actually, even the LJ community is starting to abandon Mookie.

[sihnfahl]

Actually, even the LJ community is starting to abandon Mookie.

Which part are you referring to, there?

[Winterwind]

Which part are you referring to, there?

*reads a bit*

Groan... the pain...

I didn't see the part Mewtarthio was referring to, but I sure as heck did see posts claiming this was "realistic" and "romantic".

Which was the point at which I ran (or rather, clicked) away, screaming in utter terror.

Mewtarthio, are you trying to kill me?

EDIT: Oh yeah, and, if you forgive the somewhat egocentric question, were they ever confronted with the Caste System or, even better, the Encyclopedia Dominica? 'Cause I'm curious how they would react to that!

[Ganurath]

*reads a bit*

Groan... the pain...

I didn't see the part Mewtarthio was referring to, but I sure as heck did see posts claiming this was "realistic" and "romantic".

Which was the point at which I ran (or rather, clicked) away, screaming in utter terror.

Mewtarthio, are you trying to kill me?

I feel your pain, but I'm pretty sure it's less the LJ support and more the oatmeal squares cereal.

[sihnfahl]

EDIT: Oh yeah, and, if you forgive the somewhat egocentric question, were they ever confronted with the Caste System or, even better, the Encyclopedia Dominica? 'Cause I'm curious how they would react to that!

Don't think so! Think we should?

[Winterwind]

I dunno, there's lots of inside jokes in that thing, and I kinda... fear what might happen to me then , but it sure would be interesting to see how they would react!

[Khosan]

So this is what it feels like to be an investigator in a Call of Cthulhu game...

Anyone think we have a case for Mookie causing us severe emotional distress?

[Oracle_Hunter]

*reads today's strip*

*sighs*

Mookie wins the award for "most potentially interesting characters mooted in one strip," "most character decay in one strip," and "most abrupt resolution."

The award of each is a flaming bag o' poo at his doorstep.

Rant

Spoiler

Show

Some explanations of the awards

1. Most Mooted: Cassa and Hansi had the potential in a way much different from all other characters in the strip. Cassa was a strong-minded woman, dedicated to her principles, who just hadn't had much screen-time. Hansi was an ex-Knight who apparently underwent actual character development (yes, off screen, but he was a minor character) and actually could have been an outlet for Mookie to explore the relationship between mind and muscle, and force and diplomacy. However, this strip destroyed any potential development for Cassa (she is now "horny girl") and Hansi (he is now "boy toy") and although the relationship is "different" from normal Mookie relationships, it is still as awkwardly portrayed. Nobody cares about them anymore.
2. Most Decay: Aside from Cassa and Hansi - what the hell happened to Melna? Didn't she used to be a feminist cypher? Wouldn't her intial relationship with sex have made her a bit warry about people who treat it as a purely physical need to be satisfied? Wasn't she just getting used to forgiving Stonewater for his rape, and perhaps getting in touch with her personal sexuality/romantic relationships? Suddenly she has absolutely no problem with meaningless sex? Character Decay writ large. Three in one strip beats the two-in-one during "Shadow," if you're keeping count.
3. Most Abrupt Resolution: Miranda's like - hey, I can't decide between two perfectly chosen candidates, each representing a different perspective for the future of the University. Indeed, this is a hard and trying decis - oh wait, Cassa had sex, she wins! What was she representing anyhow? I don't think it matters. Yes, this was a sub-plot, but damn if Mookie hadn't made it the central plot for half of an arc.

In conclusion: Mookie, you suck. You suck hard. You are rapidly approaching the threshold of "so bad it's horrible," and I enjoy bad things. Tromeo and Juliet is one of my favorite movies, Zardoz is good, the "Phillip K." is evil, and I watched Nukie twice. Yet you, you are killing my spirit with your terrible scripting, abrupt plotting, and total lack of awareness. And I cannot turn away, and I don't know why. Perhaps Mookie has made some sort of dark pact to make his work so compelling, despite it's obvious flaws. There is no emoticon to describe what I am feeling right now.

[Mewtarthio]

Which part are you referring to, there?

Well, actually, it's just like two or three guys, but at least it's a foothold, right?

[Telonius]

I stand by my prediction. It was all just a dream.

[Tom_Violence]

What's the difference between the racist and the racist idiot?

Ooo, don't go there. Seriously. To do so is to just degrade the status of actual racism to the level of simple idiocy, when hopefully we all know it is not that at all. Racists exist, and many of them are not the way they are because they 'got something wrong' or 'don't know any better'. No. Some of them are just nasty, and I'd hate it if you let them off that easily by just thinking that they are idiots.

Yeah, this is kind of a weird comic. Is it just me, or is a girl saying "thank you", twice, for sex, totally absurd in every kind of situation? Hell, even with a guy it would be pathetic. Also, do you really picture Cassafinn talking casually about her sex life with the people she works with? Girls don't brag about getting laid, more often than not. I mean, never mind show don't tell, this is just ridiculous.

You have a strange view of women, I must say. You know, they're really not all that different from men a lot of the time. Many like to brag about conquests, many enjoy sex, etc etc. One saying thank you for sex is really not unheard of at all. Jesus, to think that a women liking sex in much the same as a guy does is 'pathetic'? You serious?!

PS: I actually had totally forgotten who Cassyfin was until this latest comic reminded me. Also, is her normal not just totally "I HAVE BOOBS" anyway? Personally, I'm surprised she's not shagging guys in parking lots and whatnot every single time she's off-panel.

[Kurald Galain]

How much you wanna bet she gets pregnant and is forced to resign in shame?

Even worse, wanna bet she knows she is pregnant the very next morning?